America: *praying*

Dear God:

If you watch me in church this Sunday,

I'll show you my new shoes with the money you gave me.

Amen.

America: *Went to church*

after church

America: *went out the church and shouted* I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN!

Civilians around the church: *went to church*

Priest: a Miracle! a kot of people went to church today!

America: hahahahahahahahhah, because of my new shoes and the faith of god! we're all gathered here today!

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;-;V peace be with you Christian readers