Serious language warning
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Romano Vargas was always a pissy guy.

Like, you had to agree with that.

But when he's had no sleep and had an ugly morning...

JFC, you'd need to run for your life.

It started when Romano decided to get the fuck off Tumblr, because he spent a whole night on that life-draining app full of weird shit.

And, of course there was a World Meeting held on that specific day.

Of all bloody days.

So, deciding to actually do something, Romano went to find his formal uniform.

With a gruff and huff, the soon-to-be-pissy Italian fell out of bed and crawled towards his wardrobe, opening it, and magically disappeared into Narnia.

It was snowing.

Romano was still in his boxers.

Do you see where I'm heading, now?

"What the fuck? Where the fuck is my clothes? What's this white shit everywhere?"

Deciding not to deal with all the 'white shit', Romano walked back into his room.

"Well, that was fucking weird." He mumbled, changing into his formal uniform.

Opening the door, he walked into his bathroom.

Some how there was a big puddle of water in the middle of the room.

And guess what?

Because I am a horrible person and the author of this story, Romano will slip on that puddle.

"Oh! YoU EAT DICK!" Romano screamed, before smashing his head on the tiles, knocking himself out.

≈†≈

Romano awoke on clouds.

"What the fuck? Why aren't I falling? Am I in heaven?"

While these questions littered the Italian's head, he didn't see a certain Spaniard run towards him.

"Oh, ROMANO!" The Spaniard sung.

"Oh, shit. Antonio's here. I'm in hell," Romano groaned, running away from his (boyfriend) acquaintance.

"Oh no you don't, Romano," Antonio sung, throwing a potato at the Italian.

Where Antonio got those potatoes, I have no fucking clue.

"Go the hell, you Spanish dildo!" Romano yelled, before running into someone.

"Ah! Fratello, I see you haven't met the King of Potatoes."

It was Romano's twin brother, Feliciano Vargas.

"As long as the bastardo doesn't follow me, I'll go."

"Sì! Just give me a second-" Feli said, opening his eyes, "-POTATO TAXI! GET THE FUCK HERE, YOU MoTHERFUCKER!"

In an instant, a potato with wheels parked next to the two Italian brothers.

"Let's go, fratello!" Feli cheered, dragging Romano into the potato vehicle.

Poor Antonio. He was left behind.

≈†≈

After a long drive, with Romano yelling and screaming, the two Italians saw a potato hill.

It was a massive potato with a doorway.

"There it is," Feli told Romano. "The Potato King's castle."

"The what?"

"The Potato King's castle," Feliciano repeated.

"Sì, I heard you the first time. I mean, who is the king?"

Romano's brother mouthed an 'o', before saying, "Ludwig Beilschmidt."

Ludwig Beilschmidt.

Ludwig Beilschmidt.

The potato bastard.

"Fuck no. I am not going to that cum-guzzling potato fuck."

Feliciano's eyes watered. "Fratello, that's the only way to get out of your dream."

Romano groaned.

I just wanted to piss.

Before he could mumble a 'fine', his brother dragged him to the Potato King.

It didn't take long get to the Potato King. All they had to do was use the fried potato signs, which lead the way.

Feliciano burst through the potato doorway.

"Potato King! I have him!"

"WHAT THE FRICK FRACK SNICK SNACK?" Romano screamed.

On a potato throne, surrounded by piles of potatoes, drinking beer was Ludwig, the 'Potato King'.

"Ah, Romano," the Potato King said, adjusting his potato-carved crown, "I've been expecting you."

This angered Romano.

"Fuck you and your potatoes. Just get me out of here."

Replying with an 'okay', Ludwig pegged a potato at Romano's head, knocking him out.

≈†≈

"What?" Romano mumbled.

He sat up.

Then slipped.

And stood up again.

And slipped.

Then looked at the clock.

.

.

.

11:46

.

.

.

"SHIT I'M LATE"

≈†≈

The door slammed open.

Everyone stared.

"What? Quit staring."

Everyone kept staring.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer," Romano growled.

Someone took out their camera.

"Idiota."

Romano took his seat.

"Roma! Where have you been?" Antonio asked. "And why are you wet?"

"It's none of your business."

"Roma-"

"-Shut it."

"But-"

"-Shut up."

"I jus-"

"SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!"

.

.

.

All eyes were on the Spaniard and Italian.

"...Romano, Antonio, refrain from having private conversations," Ludwig sighed.

There were snickers and laughs here and there.

Romano glared at everyone.

"Lo siento, everyone," Antonio apologised.

"Anyways, Roma, why are you late?"

"Why do you care," Romano spat.

"Because we're almos-"

"WOW! I MUST BE REAL FUCKING HORNY TODAY! BECAUSE ALL I SEE IS A BUNCH OF DICKS AND PUSSYS!"

Why did Romano say that?

Well, while he and Antonio were having their private conversation, his brother was yelling 'pasta' and eating.

The German he hates, Ludwig, was yelling at everyone to stop.

Kiku Honda was taking photos of them.

Sadik and Heracles were arguing.

Alfred and Arthur were fighting.

Francis was flirting with everyone.

Wang Yao was trying to sell his dumplings.

Ivan was running away from his younger sister, Natalia, with Yekaterina, his older sister, trying to stop them both.

Gilbert was air guitaring on the table.

Leon was embarrassing Emil.

Lukas was choking Mathias.

Berwald was glaring at anyone who came near his wife, Tino.

Feliks Łukasiewicz was being himself.

Gupta was daydreaming.

Abbel was talking to his younger sister, Emma, about money.

Elizabeta and Xiao Mei were ranting to Roderich about shipping.

Jett was petting his koala.

Eduard, Raivis and Toris were taking quietly to each other.

Erika was listening to Basch's talk about being neutral.

Matthew was being ignored.

And Peter wasn't even allowed to go to the meeting.

"YOU ALL ARE BRAIN DEAD!" Romano yelled, before storming out of the meeting room.

"Hey Ludwig," Alfred said, "Why did you lose World War II?"

"What?"

"Because you did NAZI us coming," Alfred giggled.

And that's where you could hear Romano pissing and knocking himself out laughing.

---------------------

Fratello: Brother

Bastardo: Bastard

Sì: Yes

Idiota: Idiot

Lo siento: Sorry (and that's what I am)