(America [+World and presidents])

{Sad, Pain}

WARNING: depression and suicide 

+++++

Alfred sighed. 

He was alone.

Nobody was at home with him.

He made sure of that.

He was just writing on the envelope. 

It goes to his 'father', England. 

It was a weird feeling, to write a farewell letter. 

But a message were to fast.

Arthur would come to him immediately and stop him. 

He took the letter to the post office and went to his bedroom.

His look go of these many pictures with his brother Canada (who he never forget, even if he thinks that) and England to his bed, where the gun was ready, the ammunition next to it.

He grabbed his cell phone to check his country's depression rate for the very last time. 

An estimated 17.3 million adults in the United States have had at least one major depression. That figure was 7.1% of all adults in the United States. The prevalence of major depression was higher in adult women (8.7%) than in men (5.3%).

There were too many, Alfred knew that even without the other countrys telling him... and it was just the adults. 

He felt it.

He felt the suffering of his people. 

He convered it up, althrough he saw the distrust in some nations. 

With older nations who probably suspected something. 

Could he die by suicide?

Alfred hope it.

Then he didn't need to feel that anymore. 

He went to the meetings clumsily.

It was getting harder and harder for him to be as always. 

It got worse as more of his people get sick. 

In 2016 there were suddenly more and more.

First Alfred don't understand that feeling. 

It was so oppressive, robbed him of strength and he only saw a dark future while hopelessness took hold of him.

He didn't understand it.

But over the years it got worse. 

He didn't understand it until England showed him its depression rate.

"Tell me, Alfred, don't you feel that?" He asked him.

"No ..." Alfred replied hesitantly.

England eyed him suspiciously but never asked again.

Why not?

He should have chopped up!

Then Alfred wouldn't sit cross-legged on his bed and load his gun with silent tears.

Or at least he thought so.

He held the barrel to his temple with trembling hands.

He couldn't go on anymore.

It was too much for him.

He had given up long ago.

What would happen to his country?

With his people?

Alfred didn't know.

He unlocked his gun.

There was no turning back.

He took a deep breath and looked at the picture that showed him with family and friends.

He saw England, Canada, France and Germany.

Everyone smiles, although Germany was usually so serious.

It was a wonderful day.

It was France's birthday and they had all celebrated together.

A sad smile played on his lips.

,, I'm so sorry .. I still love you guys, but I can't anymore. Please forgive me ... ", Alfred breathed into the silence.

Then a shot shattered the calm.

~~~~

There was hustle and bustle in Berlin when the spontaneous world meeting was announced.

Germany still stared in disbelief at the President of the United States, Donald Trump.

It was impossible.

The guy was kidding him.

A country couldn't die.

Alfred had to be alive.

The temperature dropped a few degrees in the room.

His president, Angela Merkel, also looked stunned.

"What?" She finally breathed.

"Alfred is dead. A headshot," Trump replied mechanically.

Suicide.

Alfred F. Jones, probably the most cheerful guy Germany knew, had committed suicide.

But why?

He swallowed.

"B-but why?" Thuringia finally expressed his thoughts.

Trump just shrugged."There is no suicide note."

Silence.

Germany rose slowly.

"The others are there .. I'm going into the conference room."

With that, Germany left his office.

It was loud in the conference room.

All countries and their presidents were there, except the USA.

He would never come back, annoy her with his heroism, only to hear from England that his ideas were impossible to implement and that he shouldn't behave so childishly.

You would never hear his voice or fool around with him again.

Germany swallowed and blinked away the tears.

USA was dead, he had to accept it.

England looked at his hands, his eyes flew over a piece of paper, becoming more and more stunned.

His lips formed only one word: No.

What was written there?

,,Germany! Where is USA? "Belgium finally asked, confused.

Germany swallowed.

"That's why we're here ... Alfred has ... he has-"

Germany broke off.

He couldn't pronounce it.

But he had to.

"He committed suicide."

It has never been so quiet at a meeting with the whole world as it is now.

Well, USA was missing.

Germany looked out the window while his best friend Italy finally fell around his neck and started to cry.

Germany stroked his back a little awkwardly.

"Veee ~ I thought countries can't die!" He sobbed.

"By suicide already ...", France muttered, concerned.

After that it was quiet.

Only Italy's sobs filled the room.

And that although the two nations have never been close.

But that's what Feliciano was like.

Arthur put the letter on the table and buried his face in his trembling hands.

His mouth left a barely audible no.

Nobody really wanted to admit it.

Nobody ever expected that Alfred would commit suicide.

Macron, the President of France, slowly picked up the letter and let his eyes fall on it.

It was eerily quiet.

"Who is the letter from ...?" Macron finally asked England.

"From Alfred ... let him in if you want.", Came the mumbled reply.

Again silence.

The missing farewell letter. 

Meanwhile, Trump and Merkel had also entered the hall.

Macron cleared his throat and began to read:

Hello Arthur,

Yes, for you it's probaly write a letter about centuries for you because I always write an e-mail. Or I came personally to you. 

But the first thing would were too fast by you and you have the chance to stop me. I don't want that. 

The secound thing is so impossible.

Have you heard it yet, when you read it?

I'll probably be dead by then. At least I hope so, because, well, I just can't anymore.

I know it's bloody pathetic of me to do that. How does that have to work? The United States of America shoot themselves with a simple head shot so he doesn't have to suffer anymore.

I wouldn't be surprised if everyone hates me now.But isn't it an alarming number of 17.3 million people with depression?

And then only the adults count. The children and young people are far from it.

I lied when I said I don't feel it. That my depression rate is so high I can feel it and it is getting worse every day.

Why didn't you ask?

I'm sorry to surprise you so ... I hope it doesn't hurt you. I also hope that it doesn't hurt the others.

I gave up, please take care of my people, yes?

And please don't cry, I don't like that .. I never have.

You are not my big brother to me, but more like my father, you know? Sometimes I would like to know if you still resent my independence and I will never know.

I don't regret it, but I miss you and I needed you now.

I'm sorry.

In love,

Alfred

It was silence. 

Only England finally burst into tears and allowed France to comfort him, whose eyes themselves glittered suspiciously.

Canada wiped her cheeks with her hand, wiped away his tears, which came back immediately.

Even Russia looked embarrassed at the table.

Everyone thought the same:

Why didn't I notice anything?

---------------------

Hey! 

This was my first Hetalia One Shot, so I'm sorry if it's not so good. 

I hope my english is good enough for this😅

If you see any mistakes, please tell me. Just so I can correct them^^

What do you think about my OS? What's your oppinion?

Hope you like it!