Alfred was sitting on his couch, completely bored. There was nothing to do, and that was crazy especially because it was almost the

*dramatic music*

the best holiday ever, the Fourth of July! And he had to have something super special and awesome to do for that!

Suddenly his brother Matthew walked in. Alfred smiled only a little evilly as he got an idea.

"Mattie, wanna do something patriotic for my birthday?"

Matthew paused against his better judgement. "...like what, setting off a few fireworks? That doesn't sound too bad..."

"DON'T BE STUPID! We have to do the most patriotic thing ever! This has to be really special!" He grabbed a cup of tea nearby. "Dumping tea!"

"Alfred wait--"

Alfred dumped the tea out of the open window with his best shit-eating grin. Then...

"FUCK YOU, YOU BLOODY WANK!" Arthur Kirkland screamed, shaking his fist. Matthew looked at his brother.

"Uh... Heh... Next time we won't use hot tea I guess..."