WARNING- SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE READING THESE PLEASE DO NOT READ

I'll have you know I wrote this instead of my research papers

I'm a pro at procrastination.

I also refuse to put a things like

"I-a"

Its 1:46  am

I am not putting time into putting hyphens in between words and a's

you get things like "Ia" accept please QWQ

OH ALSO

I don't know if I'm the only one but  I hate when I have to figure out a country name for things so, you can make up a country name o r I can use the names from video games and/or my original stories just because those aren't real so we can all have fun making culture and such yes?

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You panted, you heels clicking as you ran down the empty streets of (city name), only slowing once you reached your destination.Shakily you climbed onto the bridges stone railing, looking down at the black water.

A small sigh escaped your lips, looking the cherry wood box.No going back now, no matter what.The wind was at your back you hair whipping into your face.You looked at the outfit you were wearing and a small smile found its way on your face.Feliciano had picked this outfit out this morning for you.

He had wanted to know why, you said you needed to look nice.He told you it was his favorite outfit on you, you said that made it your favorite.

"(Y/N) whata are youa doing upa there?Youa coulda get hurt!"a voice cried making the smile on your fall as you turned.You slowly turned seeing a worried smile on  the Italians face.He was the last person you expected to see here.It was well past midnight, you thought he would be asleep.He usually was.

"What are you doing here Feli," a small sad smile on your face; your knuckles turning white as your gripped the box tighter.You weren't going to go back now.You had to do it.you'd already gotten so far.

"Ia followed youa of course!"he exclaimed while looking at you,"Now whya don't youa come down and we geta late nighta snack!"You simply shook you head looking back at the water.

"Do you think Ludwig would be proud of me?I ran all the way here; in heels no less.He always said I should run more," you said turning to him smiling still while he looked utterly confused, "I need you to tell the others some things for me, okay?

Behind you, you heard him suck in air, as though about to speak; only for you to continue.

"Tell Lovi, hes one of my best friends.Despite the things we say to each other,"you heard him mutter a quiet got it.

Still speaking you open the box and take the gun out.

"Tell Kiku I'm sorry I never properly showed him around (country name)."

Thunk

The box was now on the ground by you.The auburn haired man behind you growing more worried, and confused.

"Tell Toni, Gil, and Francis I'll miss our little talks," shakily you put the pistol to your temple, making Feliciano gasp and attempt to grab you, only for you to move closer to the edge on the railing.

"Tell Lud I'm sorry I seemed like I wasn't listening,  but his opinion did matter to me."Feli wasn't sure what to do.Step closer and risk you falling into the water.Grab you and risk startling you and making the gun go off.

"And Feli, before I have to go I want you to know something important," you said turning to him slightly, tears streaming down your face.

"I love you'

BLAM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip  by sorry????~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lovino said he couldn't come with them.

He said that after the break down at her funeral , he didn't need to be in her house.

But of course Feliciano didn't listen.He went before they would be going.He needed closure.

Your funeral had been awful.The sound of the gun going off, and your body falling into the water below; the police dragging your body out of the now red tinted water as Ludwig tried to calm his sobbing.Lovino glaring at the ground as though it had done something to him, muttering curses all the while tears going down hims cheeks.The whole thing was going through head.

It hurt him even more when he saw only seven people other then him and his brother showed up.Your sister and her child and your other six friends.
Not your father, uncles, cousins, or anyone else.

Just eight sad people, a priest and a casket.

And now he was locked in your room-as to keep his brother from throwing him out- going through your things.

There were pictures of you and your sister, you and your friends, a lot of just you and him.On your night stand he found a a paper with a number and the words suicide hotline on it; along with a almost full bottle anti depressants.So you had tried to get help, at least her knew that much.

He also vaguely remembered yu saying the pills didn't work.

How come he didn't pay attention to that?

Going to you laptop, your password written down on a paper next to it.If he remembered correctly it was your mothers name.You had always talked so fondly, yet sadly about her.Saying how you missed her.

She had died when you were in high school though, so he had never met her.

Looking through your social media he saw nothing that indicated harassment or anything along those lines.That helped ease him a bit, but not enough.He wanted to know, he needed to know why you did it.

And then he saw it.A small (f/c) notebook.Picking it up he flipped through it see no writing on any page but the first one.Reading the writing on the page he felt his heart thumping in his chest

To whom it may concern

If you've found this I am most likely dead, or hospitalized from a suicide attempt.

I'm sure you're wondering why.Honestly I'm not a hundred percent sure myself.

Life is just a bitch you know?You try and be happy, and move on from the past but you just can't.

I was so tired, always so tired and cold.Maybe now that I'm back with my mother(hopefully)

I can be warm and happy again.I want you to know its not your fault, no one could have prevented it.

I will miss you guys though.You made life worth living but, sadly even you couldn't keep me from doing this.
I love you all, and Feli this next part is for you.Only you okay?

I really really want you to know something.

I love you so, so much.I know you're probably really upset right now but I really do love you.

Maybe one day we'll be able to see each other again, maybe I'll be happier.

Make sure to smile 'kay?
Sincerly~ (Y/n) (M/N) (L/N)

He smiled his tears falling onto the paper.And then he heard the banging and his brother yelling at him to get out there.Closing the notebook and hugging it close to himself, he opened the door smiling at his brother.Lovino furrowed his brow about to speak only for Feliciano pushing the notebook at him

"Reada it okay?"he said smiling at his brother "Ia didn't get mucha done but Ia have toa go somewhere ciao!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Itsy bitsy Time Skip by I really am sorry don't hurt me~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Italian stood in front of your grave smiling, eyes now dry and flowers in hand.Putting the flowers next to your grave stone.Kissing his  fingers and placing it over name, his smile widened.

"Ti amo (Y/n)"

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Please don't hurt me QWQ

Request instead :D