His mouth dropped. So did his hand. His boyfriend (Roderich?) looked between us, confusion flitting across his face, and Gilbert was the first to speak.

"Lovino?"

It was the only word he said. Just one word. Lovino. My name. It was like a bullet to me though, and through that one word, uttered in an unmistakable, heavy German accent, smashed everything I had built up to protect me.

I couldn't speak at all, and I felt the hot tears spring to my eyes, a drastic change from the cold drizzle of the British weather. I stumbled back a couple of steps and held onto a pole to keep my balance. It was as though the sound of the rain, people talking, general bustle had all dyed down to nothing. I could't hear anything, and all I could see was him standing in front of me, mouth moving, but no words coming out. He was speaking frantically to me, but I heard nothing.

Suddenly, all the noise came back in one loud second, and I didn't know what to do. I moved back a few more steps, and opened my mouth to speak.

"Gilbert..." Was all I could manage. My voice had gone hoarse and quiet, but I think he heard me because a look of sadness washed over him.

The next thing I knew, I was in his arms. His strong, warm arms where I had been so many times before. I had been here curled up on the couch, dancing together, in bed, in public, and all those times it had felt like I was safe. Safe in his arms.

I swallowed as the tears brimmed over my eyelids, rolling down my cheeks and getting tangled in my eyelashes. I swallowed once, twice, tried to get the gut feeling away from me, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop the tidal wave of emotion. I couldn't take it, being in his arms, yet knowing that he would never do it again. I clutched his shirt, but instead of pulling him closer, I pushed him away. And then I was turning.

-----------------------------------

My jeans were soaked as my boots hit puddles on the pavement, splashing dirty water in every direction. Speaking of which, I didn't knoe which direction I was going, I was just running and running and trying to get away from it all. I ran, and ran, until my lungs heaved to the point where I thought I would keel over. Unfortunatley, the albino had caught up to me, and had grabbed my wrist. He was about to start speaking when I interupted.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, trying pulling my wrist free, but he kept a strong grip.

"Lovino, why run?" He shouted back.

I tried to break free again but his grip was too strong, so I gave it, letting my arm hand loosley by my side. I stared up at the albino and sighed.

"I don't want to see you." I said it loud enough for him to hear, but it still sounded quiet.

"Why?" Gil questioned, and his grip tighted.

I winced at the pain, but it only made me angrier.

"Because it's hard for me to look at you, okay?" I screamed. "It's so fucking hard, Gilbert!"

I kept on shouting and screaming at him angrily, but eventually my words ebbed away into sobs. Gilbert looked at me, an expression I couldn't decipher drifted across his face, but he didn't hold me. Maybe he was pitying me.

"Gilbert..." I sobbed. "I can't see you with someone else! It fucking hurts me to even look at you... it hurts to see you and to smell you and to touch you, because every memory block I've built up just broke and..." My voice broke into another sob, and I stumbled forward and backwards.

The noise, the chaos, the emotion... it was all too much. I stared into the albino's eyes, those ruby eyes that I loved so much, and sobbed until I couldn't anymore. I looked behind Gilbert and saw the boyfriend standing there, aprehensive. I turned back to Gilbert.

"Lovino..." He whispered.

"Gil..." I choked out.

And then I was falling.