After the shoot, I had taken off all the make-up and got dressed into my normal clothes. I was sat down on a sofa in the main shooting area watching as all the others did their shoots. It turns out there were a lot more in set today than I'd expected. There was Arthur and Alfred, Kiku and Karpusi, and then all the female models like Elizabeta and Natalya.

After flitting about for a while, Antonio eventually came and sat next to me on the sofa. I rested my head on his lap like I had done back at Gilbert's house...

Gilbert's house.

Everything seemed to be his now. It was almost like he owned us all! And then I realized.

Gil was like the glue for all of us. He kept us together as friends and he kept us togther as individuals. And now he was gone, we were all falling apart.

-----------------------------------

We were back at the apartment now, and Antonio was in the kitchen. It was getting later, around 18:30, and he was cooking for us. I sat on the sofa, legs drawn up to my chest and arms wrapped around my legs. I found myself staring at nothing, just thinking about everything that had happened. It had only been three days, but it felt like a year. Three days of life without Gil had already driven me to alcahol, depression, and basically insanity. Antonio was humming in the kitchen as he cooked, and I suddenly got a whiff of cinnamon, mixed in with other spices.

Cinnamon.

My mind drifted back to Christmas in Germany, when everyone else had gone to sleep. The cinnamon hot chocolate... the dancing... and the I love you's...

It all seemed like a dream. Like none of it had actually happened. Like I was watching it on a screen.

I ate dinner with Toni, and even though he was his usual talkative self, I couldn't bring myself to answer his questions, or talk back, or even make a witty insult. It got to 21:54, so I went and took a shower, changing into just my boxers by way of sleepwear. By the time it was 22:30 I had already climbed into bed while Toni was chatting avidly on the phone with Mattew and his friend from the make-up parlour.

The red sheets seemed less homely without Antonio in them, but when he slipped inti the bed next to me I turned to face him.

"Lovi?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"What are you gonna do now... now he's gone?" He asked gently.

I shrugged. "I dunno."

"Do you not have your eye on anyone else?"

"Not particularily. I think I'm just gonna, I dunno, sleep around a bit?"

I heard a snort. "You're serious?"

I tutted angrily, then rolled over and faced the door. "Probably." I muttered into a pillow.

Antonio sighed, grabbed me by the waist, and pulled me over to face him, a serious expression on his face. I blushed at the sudden contact and swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Just don't become like him." Antonio sighed sadly, theb pulled me into a tight hug. I smiled sadly and rested my hand on his chest as he pulled me closer. My eyelashes flickered across his bare skin, and I felt him rest his hand on the small of my back. Sighing, I wrapped my arms aroung him and rested my head on his chest, his bare skin was warm and I could feel his chest falling and rising as he breathed. His heartbeat was slow, steady, and even, and to that sound my eyeluds flickered shut and I fell to sleep.