SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU UNCULTURED MOTHERFUCKERS BECAUSE TODAY WE'RE GOING ON A JOURNEY TO UNCOVER THE TRUTH ABOUT A LITTLE FUCKING CHINESE CARTOON CALLED HELLTALIA

Helltalia
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Hetalia

Hetalia is an anime that centers around World War 2

In World War 2 there were 2 groups: axis and allies

2+2=4

4

Pasta is a delicious food

You know what else is delicious? Doitsu

Doitsu + Pasta = Love and Life

Both love and life have 4 letters

Coincidence? I THINK NOT

4+4=8

8-2=6

There are 6 allies, including Canada

But Canada is always forgotten

Canada

Can of da what?

Can of the Chile

Chile

Chile is a country in South America but it ISN'T A CANON CHARACTER

Canon

Pirates used cannons back in the old days

England and Spain were pirates

England has two big eyebrows and Spain had one big butt

2+1=3

BUT HOLD YOUR HORSES YOU IMPATIENT TITS

You know what's better than big eyebrows and a big butt? That's right. Big boobs

Ukraine has them and she also has two siblings

Belarus and Russia

Belarus has 7 letters

Russia has 6 letters

Ukraine has 7 letters

(7 + 7 + 6) × 3 =  60

60 is 10 numbers off from 50

America has (or had) 50 states

America has glasses and is a hero

You know who else has glasses and is a hero? That's right

Spiderman

Spiderman was bitten by a spider and I hate spiders

But I also hate the color pink

Poland likes pink

Poland is fab as fuck but so is everyone

They're too fab for me

Everyone in the world live in 5 different continents

5-2=3

A triangle has 3 sides

Triangles are illuminati

THERFORE HETALIA IS A TRIANGLE NOT A CIRCLE

BUT THAT WOULD MEAN THEY'RE ALSO ILLUMINATI

SO HETALIA IS ARUMINATI CONFIRMED

LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND POTATOES, YOU MAY NOW ALL SLEEP IN PEACE KNOWING THE TRUTH