So I've mentioned this before (not in this book, but in other misc ones) but I have had an on-and-off crush on this one boy since my sophomore year of high school (aka late 2017). I never did anything about it because at first he was talking to this one girl, and then he wasn't. But we didn't really know each other so I didn't say anything, obviously. 

Then in spring of 2018, I found out that one of my good friends also had a crush on him so I told myself that I wasn't going to like him anymore cause I didn't wanna be that bitch that stole another girl's potential man even when I knew that she liked him. Ya know. 

Anyways, the two of them started dating towards the end of the school year and they were literally so cute together omg. On one hand, I was like damn this sucks. But on the other hand, I was legit so happy for them because they were so good for each other, like Jesus Christ. 

As the years have gone by, and I myself had a girlfriend (who had a massive crush on this guy's brother so that was fun), I figured I was finally over him ya know. Cause it's always so hard for me to tell when I have a crush on someone and sometimes I can't tell if I like them or if I really wanna be friends with them. This is what it was with him. I kept going back and forth between the two. 

Then just Thursday or whatever, I was texting him asking if I gave him something if he could give it to his girlfriend cause I have no idea where she lives but I've been to his house before to do a project with his brother. 

And he was like "You know we broke up right?" 

And I just.....

This crush just hit me back full fucking force. Like are you fucking kidding me! IT'S 2020 I NEED TO STOP. Am I gonna try to talk to him (talk to him like talk like ya know like "I'm talking to someone")? ABsolutely fucking NOT. Cause 1) he just got out of a 2 year relationship (actually I don't know how long they've been broken up but still) and 2) we're just friends-ish. I'm not gonna fucking embarrass myself like that. No thank you. 

Though maybe I should since I'm probably never going to see him again lol since he's still in high school (we were both born 2002 so chill) and I might go to fucking Vermont or Oregon or Washington or Wisconsin for college.

Anways, he still offered to try and get it to her since it was IB stuff and she's doing IB and it could be useful. But he also thought it was a trick and that I was trying to give him an erotic satire by Chuck Tingle (it's a long story). I totally should have tho lol. Like snuck it in the binder under the notes about imperial Japan. 

But anyways yeah, my crush is back and I'm very upset about this. Like AH Shit, Here We Go Again.

Mama Mia, Here We Go Again, My My How Can I Resist Ya 

(Idk if those are the actual lyrics, I'm too lazy to look it up lol)