A/N: Hey guys! I'm back. For this one, the bulk of it is a conversation they had over text, so Will is bold and Jem is in italics. Also, hello to the_doctor_lies ,who is fairly new to the comments section and gave me the idea for this one with one of their comments. Even though it kind of ended up in a different place. Anyway. Enjoy!

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Hey.

Hey.

How are you feeling?

Better. They finally took me off the oxygen mask so I can breathe unassisted again.

Good. You scared the shit out of me, James.

Sorry. I didn't know it was going to be so bad or I wouldn't have left the house that day.

It's not your fault. I was just really worried about you, and they wouldn't let me in to see you when you were in the ICU. They said it was family only, and since I wasn't blood or spouse...

Yeah. It's a dumb rule, especially since I don't have any actual family and the nurses always look at me like I'm a kicked puppy when they ask who they can call and I only give your name.

Poor little Jem, no one but his boyfriend that the doctors won't let him see.

Feels like a Shakespeare.

Holy hell my lungs hurt I lied this is not a Shakespeare this is just a mess

Jesus. You okay?

And to be fair most of Shakespeare is a mess

Literature nerd.

Still coughing. Just hurts my chest where they forced a tube down my throat.

Gross.

Yeah, having it in was about as much fun as it sounds. I really hate being stuck in the hospital for so long.

When will they let me take you home?

Not a clue. Hopefully soon. I miss your face xx

Is that all you miss? ;)

I miss our bed and my cat and we'll table that other discussion until I can move without my lung almost collapsing.

Fair.

I'm going back to sleep. Bye love

Feel better, darling.

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Haven't heard from you today. Everything okay?

Hi. Sorry I didn't mean to worry you I'm just exhausted. Whatever they've been giving me is really aggressive. It's fucking me up.

Sorry baby. All for the best, remember?

I know.

Can you have visitors yet?

I think so. They'll probably let you in if you just show up. Especially if it's Charlotte's shift, she's fond of you

Is this a bit of jealousy I'm detecting?

Closer to exasperated affection but take it as you will

You know, I can always tell how terrible you feel by the decline in your punctuation.

Just be grateful this is all still in English

How bad do you think it is then o wise one?

First of all, fuck off. Second of all, I'm estimating an 8.

I hate that you're good at this. 7

Which is a normal person's 8.

Are you going to come and visit me or just tease me over the phone

Getting in the car now. I'll be there in twenty with proper food.

God I love you. Drive safely.

<3

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I can't believe they kicked me out.

I guess there's a limit on how long one visitor can stay if they're not family

Bullshit.

I didn't make the rule

Would they let me stay if we were married?

Probably but we aren't so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Will why did you go quiet

Will what are you planning

Will

Will do not propose to me over text

Will

William

Darling

Love of my life

Boyfriend I would marry unless he asks me over text

(An hour later)

Hey asshole answer your phone

Sorry, I was researching.

Researching?

My idea. It would work.

Good to know.

But I'm not proposing over text. Soon, though. Since we've talked about it before, there's really no point trying to be sneaky about it.

Fair.

Is that okay?

What?

Are you okay with the idea of getting married?

Yes

Should I be concerned about the time it took you to send a one-word response?

No. I love you, and I want to marry you. I was just thinking

About what?

The inherent short life of any vows I make to you

Cheerful stuff.

Please don't make fun this is a large concern of mine

Sorry. Don't worry about that. I want to marry you and I want to spend our lives together without people being able to ignore us or keep us separated. I love you endlessly, and you trying to be noble and distance yourself will not change that. You're allowed to be happy, James.

You know I want to marry you. I just worry about leaving you

Stop thinking. I can practically hear your beautiful brain whirring from here. I love you. We can deal with that when it comes. For now, rest so you can come home. Your damn cat misses you.

He just wants attention.

He'll get it when the only person who likes him comes home.

Be nice to my cat. He's confused, he doesn't know why I'm not there.

He keeps sleeping on your side of the bed.

Probably for the same reason you stole my pillow off my side of the bed.

How the HELL did you know that?

My pillow always smells like you when I get home. Also, lucky guess.

Dammit.

:P

Go to sleep you little shit

I love you

You're just saying that because I brought take-out.

Damn straight

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I can go home tomorrow morning

FINALLY

I MISS U

THE APARTMENT IS COLD AND QUIET AND MISERABLE

And you're not getting laid

AND I'M NOT GETTING LAID UR RIGHT THIS IS AN INJUSTICE

My condolences. Will you be here tomorrow morning? I'm not allowed to drive while on meds

Of course I'll be there! I can kiss u better xxxx

Only if you have a lot of free time

I've cleared the next three days off work to text my hypothesis of curing through kisses

That's a lot of kissing

We've missed a lot of time

Fair

You feeling okay?

Honestly? Not really. I can't take a deep breath and my heart's racing from just lying here

Poor baby

Will

Yes?

They told me I'm dying

As in, more so than usual

They gave me the name of a lawyer and told me it would be prudent to get my will in order soon so that I'm not leaving loose ends behind

I don't know what to do

Are they still going to let me take you home?

there's nothing else they can do so I asked to be allowed home

I don't want to die alone in this hospital room

I know, baby, I know. I'll be there tomorrow to take you home and we can deal with it one day at a time. Okay?

Yeah. We can do day by day.

And there's always other doctors we can get second opinions about our options from. So don't worry too much, baby, we'll manage

Okay

I'll see you tomorrow morning

Sweet dreams love

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Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?

I'm going to marry you solely for the sake of divorcing you for asking that at 2:30 in the goddamn morning

Why does everyone think you're the nice one?

I am perfectly capable of being lovely and kind at reasonable hours of the day

Go back to sleep you weirdo

Six more hours til you can come home!

Did you fall asleep again already?

James?

Sleep well babe <3

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On my way!

Thank god

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Will?

I am literally in the next room over you could've just shouted to me

Ah yes let me try to do that with my consistently shitty lungs, I'd like to stop breathing and go back to the hospital after being out of it for only six hours

I'm detecting sarcasm

Just a smidge

What's up?

Remember when I said table the conversation until my lung wasn't collapsing?

What conservation?

Scroll up

OH

Oh THAT conversation ;)

Yes, that conversation

Come here

I woke up by myself for a frankly appalling number of days and am not looking forward to doing that again

Omw

I heard that squeak, by the way. Very macho, Herondale

You shut your whore mouth, Carstairs

Rude

Says the sarcasm queen

Are you coming in here or do I have to start without you??

See you in two seconds love<3

Finally