Wandering back to her room after a sleepless look around the library, Tessa stood outside Jem's door, pausing in the middle of the hall. There was talking from behind the thick door, which was not unusual, even at this hour. Will and Jem never seemed to sleep. However, it did not sound like Will and Jem's usual chatter. It nearly sounded like they were arguing.

"I cannot believe you, James."

"Believe whatever you want, William, this is how it is."

"When did you start being so stubborn?"

"My apologies, I didn't realize you had a monopoly on that."

"No need for sarcasm, James."

"Isn't there, though? Isn't that why we're here to begin with? Because you use sarcasm and cruelty as an emotional crutch?"

"Jem, I said I was sorry-"

"'Sorry' doesn't cut it this time, Will." Jem's voice was sharper than Tessa had ever heard, and definitely the coldest he'd ever been speaking to Will.

There was a long, heavy silence before either of them spoke. The room nearly sounded dead, and Tessa pressed her ear against the door.

Will sounded stricken when he finally spoke again. "James... You can't not forgive me. You're all I have, Jem! If you don't forgive me, I have.... I have nothing left."

"Don't you dare try to guilt me into forgiving you, William Herondale. Don't you dare."

Will sighed in frustration. "I'm not trying to guilt you, I'm trying to make you see reason."

"Reason? You are attempting to make me see reason? That is either a poor attempt at humor or sickeningly ironic, seeing as the whole thing that started this was your inability to be reasonable."

Will sputtered for a moment and tried to talk, but Jem's voice cut him off sharply. "No. I don't want to hear it. I don't know what you were thinking, Will, but how could you?" The anger had slipped out of Jem's voice, leaving it quiet and hurt. "After everything. After what you know the consequences were. After you'd seen it ruin me, you still treated that damned poison like another challenge you could conquer to prove a point."

"James, I-"

"Do you even remember what you said to me when I found you to bring you home?" Jem demanded. "Or had you already been consumed by it?"

There was another deadly silent pause.

"Damn you, Will, you don't even remember. You'd already taken enough to be completely under the influence." Jem made a soft noise of disgust. "Count your blessings you did not wake up with a streak of that hair of yours going silver."

"What did I say?"

"Nothing you need to hear." Jem's voice had lowered to a soft yet impassably cold tone.

Will paused for a moment, and exhaled slowly, clearly trying to collect himself. Tessa found herself pressed tightly against the door, trying to catch every noise in that room.

"James. I have a feeling that whatever I said is the root of this fight, and I'm honestly tired of fighting with you. I hate it, and I know you do too."

Jem didn't respond, but he did sigh softly.

"So please, just tell me what I said that was so offensive," Will continued. "So we can move past it?"

Jem's voice seemed to deflate a bit, losing its anger and sounding defeated. "No. I can't bring myself to say it."

"Why?"

"Because if there was any truth behind what you said... If you truly felt that way... It would break something irreparably. And like it or not, William, we are bound by an oath not easily broken."

"Until aught but death part thee and me," Will said sadly. "Was it that awful, whatever I said? Jem, I love you more than the world, you know that. You must know that by now. Whatever I said to hurt you and make you so wary of me, I'm sorry."

There was a pause broken only by slight shuffling of movement before Jem spoke in an impossibly soft voice. Tessa strained to hear, hoping no one walked down this hall to see her eavesdropping.

"I came to find you because you'd been longer than usual. I was worried. The tracking spell led me down to East End, and I found the ifrit den you'd seen fit to spend the night in." Jem's voice was flat, as though he was recounting something that had happened to someone else. "I helped you outside, told you to come home, and you pushed me away. You said the institute was not home for you, and that you were being dragged down by an oath you regretted ever offering to make."

Will sounded absolutely stricken. "James, I-"

Jem cut him off, voice dangerously sharp. "I reminded you that it had been you that offered, and that I had told you plainly of my condition. You looked at me, you knew who you were talking to, and you said you'd pitied the trembling, sickly orphan in the library that day and you never actually anticipated having to make good on your promise since I should have died three years ago."

Tessa clapped a hand over her mouth, aghast. Had Will really said those horrible things? Will was often abrasive and rude, but never to Jem. Kind, sweet, thoughtful Jem, who had never done anything but support Will and keep him safe. Tessa felt her temper flare in defense, but managed to keep from storming in. 

Will sounded tearful when he finally spoke again. "James... I am so sorry I ever said those things to you. But I swear on the Angel, Jem, I do not actually feel that way."

Jem's voice was uncertain. "I want so badly to believe you..." A slow intake of breath. "But I can't stop hearing your voice. It was as if you examined my heart and soul just to find the weakest points."

"There are no weaknesses in your heart or your soul, James Carstairs," Will said fiercely. "You are unshakably and entirely good, and perhaps too gentle for this harsh world and the rest of us with our black-edged hearts. You are nothing but goodness and light and I love you."

Jem paused, sighing slowly. "You would tell me, wouldn't you? If you truly felt that way?"

"You would know before I would," Will replied. "You have always known my mind better than I. Can't you use that and see I am being sincere in my apology and in my affection?"

The room was silent for so long that Tessa wondered if they'd noticed someone was listening in. Her heart began to race, but just as she began to creep away, Jem spoke again.

"I believe you."

Will heaved a relieved sigh. "Oh, thank the Angel." There was a shuffling noise, though Tessa could not discern what the movement was. "I love you, Jem, and I'm sorry to have hurt you. I never mean to hurt you, but I fear I make a royal mess of that."

Jem's voice was oddly muffled when he spoke. "I forgive the sober version of you. But Angel help me, William Owen Herondale, if I find you drugged past recognition again, my so-called gentle heart will not hesitate to make you regret it."

The conversation took on a bit of their playful banter again, though something was still off. Apology aside, it was obvious Jem was going to need some time to work through this and wrestle with his own internal demons.

"Point taken, my love."

'My love?' Tessa wondered, eyes widening with the implication.

"Good. Then you're forgiven."

Will sighed, audibly relieved. "Thank you, James."

"Don't thank me. Just don't do it again."

Tessa stepped away from the door, suddenly feeling as if she was intruding on something very private. The tone in the room had shifted to something incredibly tender and careful, as if both boys were afraid of breaking something precious.

"James, come to bed," Will said softly.

Tessa stifled a gasp. Were they...? Surely not, there were laws against that. But it would explain so much. It would explain why Will was always so gentle and kind to Jem, why Jem looked at Will like he'd hung the moon, why they seemed to know each other's hearts inside and out.

There was a noise of shifting bedsprings, and then a contented sigh.

"I didn't think I'd be letting you stay tonight," Jem admitted. "I was more upset with you than I'd ever been."

"And you had every right to be," Will replied softly. "But I'm glad you let me stay."

Jem laughed softly, and Tessa felt some of the tension leak out of her shoulders as the room relaxed. "When have I ever turned you away from my bed? I don't sleep well without you anymore."

"I can't even remember the last night I spent in my own room," Will laughed, voice slow and soft. "It's always better with the love of my life wrapped up in my arms."

Tessa blushed across her cheekbones and moved away from the door. Creeping down the hall before she gave herself away, she did not relax until her door was shut behind her. She leaned back against the door and sighed.

She'd come to a lot of new realizations about those two this evening. Part of her felt as if she should say something to Charlotte, but the larger part of her decided to keep their secret. They both had so little in this world, for heaven's sake, everyone should let them have each other.

Laying on her bed, she sighed and stretched. Her heart was conflicted over what she'd heard- after all, it wasn't every day that one found out the two boys one loved were in love with each other- but she shoved that aside and smiled.

She'd been looking for a book to read, but she'd found something much more interesting. Maybe eavesdropping wasn't precisely the most ethical way to spend an evening, but could she help it if they made it easy?

As she drifted off to sleep, Tessa was oddly comforted by the fact that down the hall, the two boys she cared about were doing the same in each other's arms. Two halves of a whole belonged in the same bed, she thought sleepily, even if it meant there was no more room for her.

A/N: Whaaat?!? Fast updates?? Unheard of around here! I have so many drafts that I just need to finish, so you guys might actually get some regular updates for a while.

I've made a decision about the contest. Every month, I'll post the details of it, but the general gist of it is that I'll post a theme and an art type (writing or drawings mostly) and you can submit them to me via email and I'll pick a winner. The winner will get their work posted here and recommended on my profile, and maybe a prize... (I don't actually have one in mind yet. What do you guys want that I can provide?? I don't know.)

So, for this month:
• drabble or one-shot (under 2000 words please or I won't have time to read them all)
• Theme: growing up/coming of age

My email is [email protected]
Send in your stuff by May 20th, and I'll announce winners on the last day of each month. Please include your Wattpad user name in the email so I know who to alert if you win. Thanks for participating! I love you guys!

(What do you guys want for a prize???)