"Esther! Get in here, you're gonna be late!"

I pushed my way through the crowd of girls and hurried to the desk. Celine was writing something down at lightning speed and looked up at me as I walked in. "Hurry back now, Loulou," she called after me, her voice getting fainter with each footstep. "You're third in line!"

Third in line. Fuck. I shouldn't have stayed up moping around like I did. 

I threw open the door to the locker room where three other girls already were. They spun away from the mirrors to see me, red faced and out of breath. "Woah," Betty said staring at me. I dropped my bag on a bench and zipped it open. The contents had been shaken up and it was a puzzle trying to find anything. "Sleep in or something?"

"No," I sighed. "The exact opposite, actually."

Betty didn't respond and I assumed she went back to doing her makeup. I rifled through my bag and pulled out my dress for tonight. It was tiny, of course, and red like blood. My heels had sunk to the bottom of the bag and I pulled them out. A tiny pair of women's underwear were hooked on the six inch heel and they fell to the nasty locker room floor. I picked them up. 

The few mirrors we had back here were crowded by the other girls so I got changed first. Swearing from the cold I slipped the dress and underwear on, leaving the heels last. Three years of working here and I still hated wearing them. The likes of Betty could wear them all night no problem and I still looked like a baby giraffe. The other girls learned real quick not to give me a hard time about it after I lashed out. I say lashed out, I mean stood up for myself. 

Betty left the mirror, giving her hair one last fluff. I grabbed a makeup palette and brushes and stole one of the hair dryers the locker room kept before anyone else could. Staking my claim in one of the chairs, I set to work. 

"You see the customers yet?" Jeanie asked as she curled her eyelashes, her red hair to match. I wasn't sure who she was talking to so I let Barbara answer first.

"A few," she said, pulling a curler out of her brown hair. I could smell their perfume and hoped to God I still had some in my bag. "It's never this busy when we open. It's always around midnight and all the pissed men come in that the money rolls in."

"You sure came in a hurry," Jeanie said eyeing me. "What gives?"

I didn't want to talk about it. "Let the time get away from me, I guess..."

"Celine almost crossed your name off the list, you know," she continued. "Almost let that new girl go on by herself."

I carelessly dried my hair with the dryer, blocking out the sound of their talking. It was such an old thing I worried someday it might short circuit and catch on fire or something. I hardly ever used it except in emergencies. When I thought the other girls weren't looking I aimed the dryer at my bare legs hoping to warm myself up. 

Shutting it off, I unplugged it and set it far away from me. The girls went to chattering again as I took up my makeup. 

"One more show and I'll have enough to go on holiday with," Jeanie said. 

"Where are you going?"

"Italy perhaps....maybe Greece."

"Should take me with you," Barbara said. "I could use a holiday."

I painted over my face with the brush, covering up any signs. The other girls here had no idea but I wondered if they suspected something. Do I blame them? Of course not, I looked horrible on a good day. I caught sight of my wild brown hair and dark brown eyes and froze up for a moment, almost dropping my brush. 

My mom...I looked so much like her...

The same round face, the same ears, everything. I was almost the spitting image of Velma J Marino. Except for my slightly sunken cheeks and the dark circles under my eyes. I shook my head and kept painting. Not today. Not now.

"My boyfriend said he can get us tickets to see their show next week," Barbara said. 

"Lucky, I heard they're supposed to be the best band ever," Jeanie said, turning green with envy. Perhaps she was reconsidering spending her money on travel tickets. "I've got to see them someday, if I don't I'll just die."

I was just about to apply mascara when Celine's voice barked through the locker room. "Loulou!" she called and I winced. I turned around in my chair and saw our house mom standing there with a clipboard next to a very small blonde girl. The poor thing looked shy and nervous. Her hands grabbed the hem of her short dress like she wasn't sure where to put them. Celine beckoned to me with a finger and I stood from the chair, leaving my makeup in place. My feet padded across the cold floor as I approached them. 

"What is it?" I could feel Jeanie and Barbara staring me. 

"This is Henriette," Celine said introducing the shy blonde girl. She couldn't have been a day over eighteen. "She's new and today is her first day. You're her mentor." 

I looked over my shoulder at the other two who only shrugged. "Me?" I asked. "Why me?"

"Because before today you were the new girl," Celine said looking at me over her glasses. "I thought maybe you could help Henriette find her way around."

My heart ached for the poor girl. What the hell was she doing here? She looked positively petrified. Her blue eyes were massive and watery. Goosebumps covered her arms and she didn't look me in the eyes for very long. "Sure, I can do that," I said. 

"Thank you, Loulou," Celine said. "Good luck." She left with a smile and I looked toward the new girl, holding my hand out. 

"Hi," I smiled. The girl took my hand. Hers were ice cold. "My name's Esther."

"Henriette." I detected the tiniest French accent. Just like Celine, only much quieter. I gestured to the mirrors and chairs. 

"Would you like to sit down? You can do your makeup here." Henriette, without a word, followed me to the chairs and sat down. Jeanie and Barbara stared at her. She was so small and her golden hair really stood out around here. I gave the girls a look implying not to give Henriette any trouble and they went back to their business. I pushed my makeup palette in her direction. "You can use mine if you don't have one today."

"Merci," she squeaked and daintily took the brush. Finally applying my mascara I decided I'd do more than what Celine asked. I'd make sure no one messed her around. I'd be the best fucking mentor anyone's ever had.

**********

"When do you go on?" I asked watching Henriette brush her hair. I was done getting ready and was merely waiting for my turn to go on.

"Third," she said holding up three tiny fingers. 

"Me too," I said. "Maybe Celine did that on purpose." I hoped that fact would cheer her up and make her feel a little better about her first day. "How'd you hear about this place?"

"Some friends," she said. "I needed a job....my little brother is sick. My mother can't afford the medicine on her own."

I thought about my dad. How my mother couldn't afford the medicine either. I was too young to help out. I felt so helpless. "I'm sorry to hear that," I said and I meant it.

"Why does she call you Loulou?" Henriette asked. "If your name is Esther?" I smiled.

"Celine said I reminded her of a wolf and she came up with the name for me," I explained. "My first day here I snapped at some guy who grabbed at me and Celine said my teeth gleamed in the light, my hair like mane." I shook my head. "No clue what she was talking about but ever since then she's called me Loulou."

"Loup is French for wolf," Henriette smiled. I smiled back. I'm sure having someone here who could speak her native tongue was a huge relief to her. I should have made more of an effort to learn a second language. Nana taught me a few words in Italian and she died before I could really catch on.

"Maybe she'll give you a nickname," I said before Sally came in calling for us.

"Esther! It's your turn," she said eyeing Henriette. 

"We'll be right there," I said and Sally left. "Don't worry about it," I told her, seeing the smile leave her face. She hid her face behind her hair. "You'll be up there with me. Just...do whatever you did for your audition and you'll be fine."

**********

The club was dimly lit as per usual. I knew my way around by heart but Henriette kept a hand on my shoulder at all times. Loud rock and roll played over the speakers. Some band I'd never heard before. Very very loud. The singer's voice was something to behold. I dismissed it before getting up on the stage with Henriette close at my side. There were two poles on the stage for two girls to be up there at the same time. I took the one in the front just to give Henriette a break. I'm sure her audition was nerve racking enough. I know mine was. I smiled at Henriette who I was sure couldn't see me. And I began to dance.

I was by no means a professional dancer. Especially with the hellish shoes they make us wear and the dental floss we use as panties. All of it under the guise of the male fantasy but really just pains in the women's asses. I stuck to the basics of dancing; circling the pole or showing a bit of leg. Rarely ever did I take my dress off. Only when I knew the customers were drunk and I'd get plenty of money that night.

Right now the place was near empty. More people would show up throughout the night and I hoped to get signed up for another dance. Before Jeanie took up all the spots so she could go to Italy or wherever. 

A few guys looked interested. I stared right at them while I danced to make sure they knew who to pay. I'd been wanting to buy a garter to keep tips in but the good ones were all more than I could afford, accounting for rent and food. Jeanie had one. Ever since I started working here she had it with her when she gave the man private dances. It was always brimming. 

I tried not to pay attention to the notes landing at my feet while I danced. Instead I moved them around with my feet, subtly collecting them into a pile so they'd be easier to grab when I left. It didn't look good to scrounge around for spare change when the song ended and the next girl came on. I wished I had thought to tell Henriette that. 

I unhooked the strap of my dress off my bare shoulder and let it fall. I only did one strap; two and the dress risked falling to the floor of the stage. It was too early for that. And I didn't want to upstage Henriette. I glanced at her now and again to see how she fared on her first day. She seemed to be doing okay and she raked up quite a bit of notes. She bent down to pick them up though as they threw them. 

The singer of the band playing over the speakers got my attention. He sounded so familiar but I'd never heard them before. I didn't own any of their records. His singing made the dancing come naturally. The music was so enjoyable. I loved rock and roll and so did my parents. We always played old records when friends came to visit and some loved the music almost as much as we did. Some left in rather a hurry, claiming they had errands to run. Dad and I would laugh and turn the music up louder. I bet he would have loved this band. 

At the end of the song I gave my signature bow and the men around me clapped. One whistled. I turned on my six inch heel, scooped the money in one clean grab, and made my way offstage. Henriette was left to grab the few notes she missed before joining me. A thin layer of sweat had formed and I hurried back to the locker room to clean up. 

"You're a natural up there," Henriette said catching up to me. I pulled some deodorant and perfume out of my bag. "I tripped a few times on these shoes."

"I didn't notice," I said closing my eyes as I sprayed the perfume. "You'll get used to it." I didn't tell her I still hadn't. 

I went out to Celine's desk where all the other girls were. Some were practicing dancing, some were counting money, and others were scouring the racks for something better to wear. I needed a new dress myself but I wasn't about to touch the borrowed dresses. I wasn't sure how many girls wore them before they were finally washed. 

Celine sat at her desk writing and looking at us over the top of her glasses. According to her, she'd been working here for twenty years; longer than some of us had been alive. Everyone who worked here loved her. She took good care of us and didn't take shit from anyone. Once they tried to close us down on some religious mission but she held firm. "No one's sending my girls away," she said. "We were here long before you and your beliefs." She was tough as nails.

Once Mom heard I was working here she told me to carry a weapon of some sort in my bag. I had a switchblade in my coat pocket but I'd never used it. I never wanted to. But it was always there. 

I took a seat by Jeanie since everywhere else was taken and started counting. Only a hundred dollars in all. With whatever I owed the house at the end of the night it wouldn't be enough to get groceries. I had to get signed up again. "Did you hear that music? Wasn't it sensational?" Jeanie asked. 

"What music?"

"The song playing during your dance!" Jeanie rolled her eyes. "Honestly!"

I frowned. "I've never heard them before," I said. "I'm not as worldly and sophisticated as you."

Jeanie scowled then smirked. "I have to get tickets to their next show. I can't let Barbara have all the fun."

Jeanie was an interesting person to say the least. She wasn't a mean girl by any means. Let's just say she was...very confident in herself. Sometimes to the detriment of others. She always knew she'd get the most money at the end of the night, she always knew she'd have the best dress here, the best music to dance to. She had to go to Italy before any of us did, not knowing my family hailed from Italy. She had to get front row concert tickets and she just knew she'd get backstage and sleep with the band. 

As someone who really struggled to survive, it was frustrating listening to her.

She hummed to herself. "I have to get them to play me an AC/DC song. I don't know why they wasted them on you." I rolled my eyes and ignored her. "Doesn't even know who they are," she mumbled. 

"I don't exactly have excess money to spend on records," I explained. "I have a dog to feed and a rent due every month."

"Oh, that old mutt," she said and I grit my teeth. "Just get rid of it and buy yourself some better music."

I want the jury to know I get along just fine with the other girls here. We all get along here and we're all some sort of loose definition of the word 'friends'. But Jeanie Patterman really got under my fucking skin. 

"Maybe I should sic him on you," I muttered. She didn't hear me over her humming the song I danced to. 

I had to admit, it was a good song. If Jeanie and Barbara were right, and they were playing a show here soon, I'd have to find a way to go see them.

**********

"I can't leave with fifty two bucks," I said, hoping the desperation in my voice couldn't be heard. I looked down at Celine at her desk who was writing something like usual. "I need another spot, it's the middle of the night!"

"If you'd checked in a little earlier I could have signed you up for a second one," Celine said shaking her head. "Unless one of the other girls comes down with the Spanish flu or something it's too late to change."

My nails scraped against the wood of the desk. As a teenager my mom signed me up for anger management classes. It ended with me punching one of the balloons they decorated the room with. My ring caught on it and it popped leading one of the girls there to faint. Before I could apologize when she woke up I was escorted out by security and promptly told to never come back. 

But I did gain some tips on how to control my anger. I took a deep, calming breath and counted to five. Already my red vision was clearing up. 

"Please, Celine, I need something. Boot Jeanie out or something, I don't care!"

"Hey!" Jeanie called. 

"I can't afford to go home with fifty two bucks," I said, feeling pathetic for resorting to a sob story. "I can't scrimp again, not after last time."

"Unless you want to go up onstage with two others without a pole..."

I sighed. The men loved the pole. Something about it made money appear from nowhere. Not having one forced me to be creative and the best thing I could think of was getting ass naked. Which I'd do if I had to, by the way, I'm not above that.

"She can take my place," Barbara said. I whirled around to look at her. She was holding a generous stack of money and that was after paying her house debts. Traditionally we paid them at the end of the night but most of us got them over with. My debts left me with fifty two measly bucks, hardly enough to pay for a day of flushing the fucking toilet. I smiled at Barbara who smiled back and shrugged. "I really don't need it anymore."

I looked back at Celine who stared up at me with a sparkle in her eye. "It's your lucky day, Loulou," she said. One of the girls started howling and I laughed. 

**********

I wondered if Barbara let me take her place since the girl she was supposed to share the stage with was Jeanie. Jeanie snatched the pole up front before I could and I huffed. She must have convinced someone to play another song from that band she liked because there was that singer again. His voice filled the club and I was happy to have a pole to go along with my dance. I'd make a lot more now and show Jeanie what I could do.

Even behind her I still showed off my long legs and any tricks I had picked up from working here. I still couldn't do the splits or turn cartwheels in these heels but I could strut and I could sway my hips. I looked up from my parade to see Jeanie upside down on the pole.

Of course. 

I know it's not a competition and all. But I couldn't help but feel a little tempted to one up her. You know what, fuck it, I didn't need any pole. I stepped away from it and made my way to the middle of the stage. I kicked and spun and bent over sideways to the beat of the music. The singer helped me out with his words and his voice. It sounded so raw and real. You couldn't fake that kind of talent. 

I can't say I was the most graceful of dancers due to the wretched shoes but I managed to stay on my feet, only slipping once during the bridge. Jeanie looked over at me and sneered, her garter belt filled to the brim with VIP tips. I hid my jealousy behind a smile. I hadn't been called for a private dance in weeks. 

I wouldn't let that get to me. I flashed my best smile and showed those men just what they were missing. At the end of the song I gave my bow and looked up to see plenty of men, drunk and sober, cheering me on. My face felt flushed and sweaty. I felt elated. One of the best parts of working here was the adrenaline rush. The satisfaction of knowing these men could look but not touch. 

Jeanie grabbed my hand and led me off the stage. I scooped up whatever money they dropped for me and held it to my chest. The cheers grew fainter as she pulled me backstage to where the others were. "How'd it go, Esther?" Margot asked. "The crowd sounds crackers out there!"

"Yeah, she knocked 'em out of the park," Jeanie said and I could tell she rolled her eyes. She took the money out of her garter and sauntered off to count it. I looked down at my own earnings and smiled. 

Much better. 

I'd count it later. First thing I needed was a good change of clothes and a bottle of water.

"You did great out there," Henriette told me from the locker room. I grabbed a bottle of room temperature water from the bin and chugged it down. Her petite frame curled in on itself in one of the chairs. She had a decent amount of money and I assumed she was happy with it to quit for the night. 

"Thank you," I beamed breathlessly. I set the water down and pulled the straps of my dress down. It fell to the floor in a heap and I kicked it away, eager to get these heels off. Slipping back into my comfy t shirt and jeans I left the wool coat off for now. I wasn't exactly freezing anymore. "You did good too for your first day. I was a wreck."

"I doubt that," Henriette said. "You're a natural."

"Thanks," I said before chugging down more water. Room temperature or not, water was just what I needed. 

**********

Packing up my bag I slung it over my shoulder and went to the back door. The club was filled with people now, men and women alike. I always liked the women customers. They usually came in groups as some sort of bachelorette party or birthday party and had tons of money to spend. Not to say they couldn't be handsy toward the workers too. We had an incident a couple years ago involving a highly entitled woman thinking it was okay to yell insults at the dancers onstage. 

Celine took care of her real quick. 

Since then we've had no problems and quickly became a formidable club. People knew exactly what they were getting when they came here. And we always provided the best. I was proud to work here, no matter what anyone thought. 

Van Halen played over the speakers as I left the club, putting my wool coat on right as I opened the back door. A cold wind showered me and my breath came out in short bursts of fog. My stomach roared and I made my way down the road for breakfast.