Originally published August 4th, 2014

Republished May 3rd, 2020

QweenOfPacificGweenSeeTurtles logged onto Fanbook to record everyone’s conversations so she can put it in her Fabfiction.

SparkySenior has updated his Fandom:

LEO VALDEZ, I’M GOING TO THROW YOU INTO TARTARUS! ~With ₰I_Have_A_Drinking_Problem, ₰TheCrazyGoddess, ₰LordOfTheUnderwear, ₰LordFishFace, ₰AnythingButWise, and ₰LordJerkFace

10 SIMILAR FEELS

19 DIFFERENT FEELS

7276900946112689946427527654907452176395731753873 VIOLENT FEELS TOWARDS ₰SparkySenior

RESPONCES:

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: What the Hades? Why am I being thrown into Tartarus?

LordOfTheUnderwear: DON’T USE MY NAME IN VAIN, YOU HEAR ME HEPHAESTUS SCUM?

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: Wow, it looks like it’s somebody’s time of month *cough* #SharkWeek *cough*

QweenSharkeisha: You called?

The Whole Freaking World: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Clarisse_La_Rude: Hey half sis.

QweenSharkeisha: Hey.

QweenSharkeisha has logged out to find somebody else to kill because her boyfriend broke up with her and she already killed him.

I_Am_SeaweedBrain: Wait, SHARKEISHA IS A CHILD OF ARES?

Clarisse_La_Rude: Yeah, what do you think she was? A daughter of Demeter?

I_Am_SeaweedBrain: Um……………….. Sure………………….

Clarisse_La_Rude: Well anyway, she just got claimed and she’s coming next week and…. Wait, WHO DID THIS TO MY USERNAME?

SparkySenior: STOP TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE TOPIC DEVIL CHILD!

DadOfTheAwesomestPersonOnEarth: STOP INSULTING MY SON, HE DIDN’T DO IT! ₰AllDaLadiezLuvLeo

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: Thanks Dad, but what was it that I didn’t do?

I_Have_A_Drinking_Problem: CHANGE OUR USERNAMES!!!

The_Sparky_Blonde_Superman: Wait, Bacchus?

BacchusIsACrossDresser: No, I’m Bacchus. ₰I_Have_A_Drinking_Problem is Dionysus.

BowDownToKoolAid: He-he…

BacchusIsACrossDresser: What’s so funny? Oh… Dakota, did you do this to my username?

BowDownToKoolAid: Yes…

BacchusIsACrossDresser: No Kool-Aid for a week.

BowDownToKoolAid: Okay… BowDownToKoolAid has tagged DISAPPOINTED to this comment.

BacchusIsACrossDresser has changed his godly name to BacchusIsNice

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: Man, the Roman gods are way nicer than the Greek ones!

LordOfTheUnderwear: EXCUSE ME! I WILL SEW YOUR SOUL INTO MY UNDERWEAR WHEN YOU DIE!!!!!

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo updated his fandom:

I heard Bacchus is the god of cross dressing. Does anyone else think that Hades is the actually god of cross dressing? I think he’s (I mean she) is on his (I mean her) time of month. You know what? Let’s just call Hades a Shemale.

463 SIMILAR FEELS

10 DIFFERENT FEELS

13 CONFUSED FEELS

RESPONSES:

Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus: Um, god of cross dressing? Sadie, have you heard of a god of cross dressing?

MyFeelsAreConfused: Nope. But that Drew girl at BAG is probably the goddess of cross dressing.

BeautyQween: EXCUSE ME?

IHateDrew: Drew?

APrettyBaggie: Mitchell, I suggest you get out of here before Drew kills you.

IHateDrew: Thanks Lacy.

IHateDrew has logged off because he is scared.

BeautyQween has logged off to kill ₰IHateDrew

APrettyBaggie: HOLY HERA, IS THAT CARTER KANE?!?! ₰Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus

APrettyBaggie has logged off to chase ₰Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus, hunt him down, and marry him.

Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus: Uh-oh…

ILikePossessingInnocentChildren: Run.

Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus: I know that Horus.

Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus has logged because he heard banging on his bedroom door and he is scared.

ILikePossessingInnocentChildren has logged off to find a new body to possess because ₰Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus’s body has too many fangirls even though technically he already left ₰Help_IHaveBeenPossessedByHorus’s body and he can’t possess a new one because the gods were busy. But he doesn’t care.

LordOfTheUnderwear has changed his godly name to LordOfTheShemales

726584894726283753174386737512 HUMOROUS FEELS

1 HATING FEEL

RESPONSES:

LordOfTheShemales: I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD VALDEZ!

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: I swear on the River Styx that it wasn’t me!

TheIslandGoddess: Shut it with the promising you stupid piece of schist.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: Um?...

TheIslandGoddess: Remember you promised on the River Styx that you would come get me?

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: Calypso? You heard me? CALYPSO, YOU HAVE INTERNET CONNECTION? I’ve been trying everyday to get you!

TheIslandGoddess: You’re too late. I have somebody else, and he saved me from my island.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: WHO?!?!?!

TheTeddyBearSlayer: Me.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: O_o…………. gbvvgfc bgf vbtybg vnmk dzdfvhxbczcxbfv dghmsdxf

I_Am_SeaweedBrain: What is he doing?

NyssaLikesBandanas: Hitting his head the keyboard multiple times.

I_Am_SeaweedBrain: Ohhhh….. Why?

The_Sparky_Blonde_Superman: Probably because he liked Calypso and Octavian stole her from him.

I_Am_SeaweedBrain: Ohhhhhhhhhhh…..

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: But Calypso, I… I…

TheIslandGoddess: Save it Leo, I’m with Octavian now.

TheTeddyBearSlayer: :P

WistyTheHumanTorch: Oh, burn!

WiseGurl4Eves: Actually, he can’t burn cuz he’s immune to fire.

WistyTheHumanTorch: Like me! Does he have The Gift too?

The1WhoIsThe1: I shall kidnap and steal his Gift!

Don’t_Call_Me_BeautyQueen: Um…

TheTraitorousWeasel: GO BACK TO THE DEAPTHS OF SHADOWLAND YOU… YOU… ***** PIECE OF ****** CRACKERS ************** SOUP **************** AND YOUR MOTHER’S A *********** ************** SUNFLOWAS ************** ONELINESS *************** LONELINESS ********** SHARPIES ***************** ALIENS ************* BALD **************** MANGAS *************** KAWAII ************ WALLETS ************ MAFIA ************* YOU ARE THE BIGGEST ******************** YOU ALWAYS **************** YOU ************ SWINDLE (No accent on the back part)*************** THE ONE WHO IS THE ***********!!!!!! YOU TRIED TO HURT WISTY! NOW DIE AGAIN! ₰The1WhoIsThe1 *This comment has been reported for offensive language and is currently under review*

ItsSashaYo: Wow, I didn’t know you had such a… colorful dictionary Byron.

WistyTheHumanTorch: Welcome to the dark side.

LordOfTheShemales: SERIOUSLY, WHO DID THIS TO ME?

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo has changed his username to IHaveNoWillToLive

*WE’RE SORRY, https://www.fanbook.org HAS CRASHED BECAUSE THERE WERE TOO MANY FEELS AGAINST ₰IHaveNoWillToLive’s USERNAME. WE’LL BE UP AGAIN IN A FEW HOURS. THANK YOU.*

(A few hours later)

Everyone has logged in again.

IHaveNoWillToLive has updated his fandom:

Hades, I know I didn’t change your username, but please take me to Tartarus because I can’t stand to see the love of my life with THAT. OTC, Caleo Shippers, and Team Leo, please avenge me.

2 SIMILAR FEELS

∞ DIFFERENT AND DEPRESSED FEELS

RESPONSES:

GoddessOfShips: Aw, that’s so sweet!

OfficialOctavianTorturersClubOTC: WE WILL KILL YOU OCTAVIAN!

OfficialTeamLeo: US TOO! WE WILL AVENGE YOU LEO!

OfficialCaleoShippers: US THREE!

PlasticBlueHairbrush_UltimateWeapon: You better run Octavian; you just angered 3 fangirl clubs.

TheTeddyBearSlayer: They can’t hurt me on Ogygia.

PlasticBlueHairbrush_UltimateWeapon: They can’t hurt you there, but I will drag your sorry *** over here and they will hurt you. *This comment has been reported for offensive language and is currently under review*

TheTeddyBearSlayer: Well, guys, I think its Rachel’s time of month.

PlasticBlueHairbrush_UltimateWeapon: GRRRRR!

GhostKingRulesAll: Leo, stop. There can’t be another me around here.

TheIslandGoddess: HURRY UP AND TAKE HIM TO TARTARUS ALREADY!

LordOfShemales: I’M HERE FOR LEO!     

IHaveNoWillToLive and LordOfShemales have logged off to take a trip to Tartarus.

TheIslandGoddess and TheTeddyBearSlayer has logged off then logged back on and reread the conversation.

TheIslandGoddess has updated her fandom:

Okay, that’s it. WHO **** DID THIS TO MY PROFILE? WHO HACKED ME TO SAY THAT STUFF? *This update has been reported for offensive language and is currently under review*

1 SIMILAR FEEL

75275286382758367527863 SURPRISED FEELS

2 HUMOROUS FEELS

RESPONSES:

JustHazel: LANGUAGE!

TheTeddyBearSlayer: YEAH, WHO HACKED ME TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I HAD A CRUSH ON THAT WEIRD GIRL! I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE!

PlasticBlueHairbrush_UltimateWeapon: Oh yeah, who?

TheTeddyBearSlayer has logged off because he suddenly found the situation awkward and he’s blushing hardcore.

GmanPraisesFood: Yep, he likes her.

IHaveNoWillToLive: Cold… So cold… The liquid fire… It hurts… There are so many curses… The pain…

TheIslandGoddess: LEO, PLEASE COME BACK!!! I LOVE YOU!!! ₰IHaveNoWillToLive

GoddessOfShips: Oh, that is so sweet that I’m just gonna tell Hades to keep him in Tartarus! And I’ll make sure Calypso on her island and throw a bunch of heroes like Octavian at her!

OfficialOctavianTorturersClubOTC: OCTAPUS IS NOT A HERO!

LordOfShemales: I will get Leo out of Tartarus just cuz I don’t like Aphrodite. And I’ll get Calypso off her island too.

IHaveNoWillToLive has changed his username to ILuvCalypso

LordOfShemales has changed his godly name to AwesomeGodOfTheDead

ILuvCalypso has updated his fandom:

I HAVE BEEN REUNITED WITH CALYPSO!!! THANK YOU HADES! AND WHOEVER HACKED CALYPSO AND OCTAVIAN’S ACCOUNTS WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~With ₰TheIslandGoddess and ₰TheTeddyBearSlayer

7165471265417625314875618374537254817 HAPPY FEELS

0 DIFFERENT FEELS

2 SCARED FEELS

RESPONSES:

AwesomeGodOfTheDead: Thanks for giving me a good godly name Leo.

ILuvCalypso: You’re welcome. And thanks for getting me out of Tartarus and reuniting me with Calypso!

AwesomeGodOfTheDead: Anything to annoy Aphrodite.

GoddessOfShips: HEY!

TheIslandGoddess: Hey Leo?

ILuvCalypso: Yeah?

TheIslandGoddess: Can you change your username back to your old one? I liked that one. It was funny.

ILuvCalypso: Okay then…

ILuvCalypso has attempted to change his username to AllDaLadiezLuvLeo but somebody already has that username so he changed it to AllDaLadiezLuvLeo99.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo99 updated his fandom:

OKAY, WHO STOLE MY OLD USERNAME?!

186 DETECTIVE FEELS

1 HUMOUROUS FEEL

RESPONCES:

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: MUHAHAHAHA! YOU’LL NEVER GET YOUR USERNAME BACK! How does it feel to have something you love stolen from you?

ECHOecho: You love stolen from you.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo99: Echo?

ECHOecho: Echo.

TheIslandGoddess: Echo? –This comment has been tagged with DISGUST and JEALOUSY.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo99: So if Echo’s here… NARCISSUS, GET YOU UGLY *** OVER HERE! *This comment has been reported for offensive language and is currently under review*

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo has attempted to log off but AllDaLadiezLuvLeo99 came to his lake, attacked him, and hacked into his account.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo has changed his name to UGLY***YOUVEBEENHACKED *This account username has been reported offensive and is currently under review*

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo99 has changed his username to AllDaLadiezLuvLeo

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo updated his fandom:

Just beat up Narcissus and got a video of it! That bow and arrow was finally put to use! Those nymphs won’t be following HIM around anymore. Echo can finally have him!

5463764863 SIMILAR FEELS

1 HURT FEEL

1 THANKFUL FEEL

RESPONSES:

ECHOecho: Echo can finally have him.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: You’re welcome.

Im2Strong4U: Bet you that you can’t beat me up.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: Bet you that I don’t care.

YoItsSasha: BURN!

Im2Strong4U: Nobody treats Hercules like that!

OdysseusTheNobody: What do I treat you like?

Im2Strong4U: ………………. –This comment has been tagged with FACEPALM.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo posted a video on his fandom:

37534584553q35688 HUMOUROUS FEELS

1 HURT FEEL

RESPONCES:

WiseGurl4Eves: Oh, that’s gotta hurt.

ChineseCanadianBabyMan: He really did put that bow and arrow to use!

JustHazel: STOP CUSSING NARCISSUS! IT CAN’T HURT THAT BAD!

ECHOecho: Hurt that bad.

The_Sparky_Blonde_Superman: Oh, that’s gotta leave a mark.

GhostKingRulesAll: HOW IS HE NOT DEAD YET?!?!

OfficialPraetorOfNewRome: This boy can fight, he’s praetor material…

OfficialLeynaShippers: YES! MAKE HIM PRAETOR SO YOU CAN MARRY HIM!

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: ……………………

OfficialPraetorOfNewRome: …………………….

TheTeddyBearSlayer: SERIOUSLY! THE GREEK BOY WHO BLEW UP NEW ROME HAS A HIGHER CHANCE OF BECOMING A PRAETOR THAN ME?

Everyone: Yup.

Don’t_Call_Me_BeautyQueen: Wow Leo, I didn’t know you could fight like that! Maybe I should make you my personal bodyguard!

The_Sparky_Blonde_Superman: I can fight waaaaaaaaaay better than Leo!

AllDaLadiezLuvleo: You weren’t saying that when your forehead was making out with that brick.

LoquaciousTheBrick: BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I_Am_SeaweedBrain: Do you need some water for that burn?

TheSnowGoddess: Apply ice to burned area.

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: You better leave Khione, cuz I’M ON FIRE!

YoItsSasha: BURN AGAIN! MAN, THIS BOY’S ON FIRE!

WistyTheHumanTorch: Literally! He is the Other One with The Gift.

GirlOnFire: Did somebody call?

AllDaLadiezLuvLeo: GO AWAY CATNIP!

WistyTheHumanTorch: WE DON’T LIKE GIFT POSERS!

FieryZebraGurl: OR FIRE ELEMENTALIST WANNABES!

OfficialFlamePrincess: I WILL TEAR YOU DOWN WITH MY FIRE ARMY!

GirlOnFire has changed her username to CatnipGiftPoserFireElementalistPrincessWannabe

CatnipGiftPoserFireElementalistPrincessWannabe has logged out because she’s hurt and https://www.fanbook.org doesn’t feel like typing out her username.

Everyone has logged off to celebrate Leo’s burns!

Thing_1 has logged on and read the conversations

Thing_2 has logged on and read the conversations

Thing_1 has started a private chat with Thing_2

PRIVATE CHAT:

August 4th, 2014 3:15PM

Thing_1: Dude, they took that waaaaaaaay too seriously!

Thing_2: Ikr! Like, it’s just a hacker, it’s no big deal!

Thing_1: Yeah, the gods were over reacting way too much. I’m glad they didn’t know it was us.

Thing_2: But I feel bad for Leo, he got really hurt and stuff.

Thing_1: ARE YOU DEVELOPING FEELS FOR LEO?!

Thing_2: No, it’s just I feel guilty about it.

Thing_1: Yeah, me too. But you gotta admit it was pretty funny.

Thing_2: Especially the whole LordOfTheShemales thing!

Thing_1: We would’ve never come up with that!

Thing_2: Well, Leo is comedy gold.

Thing_1: Are you sure you’re not developing feels for Leo?

Thing_2: I’m sure. Besides, I ship him with that Wisty girl. What should they’re shipping name be… hmm… I got it!

Thing_1: What?

Thing_2: WISTLEO!

Thing_1: You know all the Caleo fangirls are going to kill you, right?

Thing_2: Yeah, I know…

Thing_1: Anyway, I’m gonna go prepare for you-know-what. You coming?

Thing_2: Of course I am! The Romans will never see it coming!

END OF PRIVATE CHAT

Thing_1 and Thing_2 have logged out to go prepare for you-know-what.

FelixThePenguinLuver has logged on.

FelixThePenguinLuver has updated his magical scroll:

PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0 SIMILAR FEELS

1 DIFFERENT FEEL

RESPONCES:

ILikeBombs: BOMBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FelixThePenguinLuver: PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ILikeBombs: BOOOOOOOOOOMBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FelixThePenguinLuver: PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ILikeBombs: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Leader_Of_The_Flock: Gazzy, get your butt over here. What’d I tell you about talking to weird people on the internet?

ILikeBombs: Sorry Max.

FelixThePenguinLuver, ILikeBombs, and Leader_Of_The_Flock has logged off.

UncleRick, JamesWritesAboutTheApocalypse, and HomerTheEpicWriter have logged on

UncleRick, JamesWritesAboutTheApocalypse, and HomerTheEpicWriter have collabed to update their Manuscript:

WE OWN ALL OF YOU!

UncleRick, JamesWritesAboutTheApocalypse, and HomerTheEpicWriter have logged off to kill book characters.

QweenOfPacificGweenSeeTurtles has hacked into Thing_1’s account and taken the private chat off private.

 QweenOfPacificGweenSeeTurtles has updated her Fabfiction:

MUHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Hey guys! So this chapter was really long… LIKE 9 PAGES! So I’m sorry it got real depressing in the middle, it’s just that I had just finished reading Tentheduck’s Caleo fanfiction Almost Infinity. It’s really sad and tragic, but it’s super good! It broke my feels! I swear Rick Riordan is like tentheduck’s sensei or something, because there are like cliffhangers in every chapter! Or was that another Caleo story… Anyways, so I was gonna post who is who on this chapter, but I decided that I’d make a separate chapter for that. Oh, speaking of usernames… Can you guess who Thing_1 and Thing_2 are? Oh, and the book cover... It sucks.... So if anyone can think of any book cover ideas, please tell me! Thanks! Well, I’m gonna go and think of a name to call all you people…. In the mean time… BYERSIEBYES!!!

~Chilea, daughter of Demeter and Legacy of Apollo