Mikey laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His phone was laid on his chest, waiting for some kind of update. Which was pointless; Shelby's phone was sitting in her room and he didn't have Monica's number. And if his brothers had any information, they'd just come in his room and tell him. But the false hope that lingered with keeping his phone close provided him some comfort.

Ever since Shelby and Monica left, Mikey had been laying still in his bed, stuck in his own thoughts and otherwise unresponsive to the world. Donnie and Splinter came in every 15 minutes at first just to make sure the ice and frost on Mikey's plastron was melting, but once it was gone and Mikey's temperature had stabilized, all attention went to Leonardo. For maybe the first time in Michelangelo's life, he was grateful for the silence and lack of company. Truly, there was only one person on the entire planet he wanted to see right now. 

His head was filled with thoughts of guilt, anger, sadness, and possibly the most terrible of all, helplessness. Guilt for remembering the dead look in Shelby's eyes as she attacked him and feeling his heart rate skyrocket in fear. The duality of knowing the kind person Shelby was and seeing the fruition Shredder's plans to use Shelby as nothing more than a zombie wolf was enough to make his head pound. He knew it wasn't her. Shelby Bradford would never do that to him or any of his brothers. She gave everything she had, including her humanity, into saving them from the Foot. At the same time, there was nothing more bone-chilling than watching her wolf form race towards you with its mouth agape and ready to latch onto the first time it manages to catch.

The anger was widespread. He was angry with Monica, Casey, and April for helping Shelby leave when everyone knew she was much safer here. But most of his anger was reserved for the Foot, namely her brothers, Chris Bradford, and the Shredder. The fact that they continued to haunt Shelby was absolutely enraging. For a group of people that held no love in their hearts for her, they were absolutely hell-bent on getting her back. It was infuriating when Mikey's family was here and did love her like she was one of them all along. Why couldn't they just accept their failure and move on? Mikey did that all the time, it wasn't that hard. 

The sadness was not only for what Shelby was going through, but also the mourning of their relationship, which felt like it was now over before it started. He didn't get the chance to take her on a date, ask her to be his girlfriend, or even tell her how he really felt about her. It just wasn't fair. He lost his best friend and he had no idea when he was getting her back. And when he did, would she even be the same person she was before all this happened?

And all of this lead into the heavy feelings of dread and helplessness. What was he supposed to do in all this? There was no communicating or reasoning with Shelby once the mind serum took over. And now that she was gone, all Mikey could do was wait for the events to play out before him. 

After a few hours of being locked in his head, there was a knock at his bedroom door, causing Mikey to groan and turn over on his side, facing the wall. "Go away." He stated, pulling the blanket over his head.

The door opened regardless. "I know you're probably not in the mood, but April ran out to get Chinese." Casey's voice stated from the doorway. Mikey's throat burned. One of the last people he wanted to talk to was Casey.

When Mikey didn't answer or move, Casey continued. "They got Leo all thawed out. It looks like he'll be okay." Again, no answer. All Mikey could think about was the fact that Casey helped Shelby leave, and then he re-lived watching Monica's car pull away, and his heart sank even more. He was fighting back tears at this point but Casey stayed put.

"Mikey." Casey said, and Mikey could hear the weight of his footsteps creak across the floor towards him. "I know you're probably upset with me. And I get it. But I only helped Shelby because I thought her leaving would be the best thing for her. She was so upset with herself... she needed to be removed from the situation in order to relax." Casey explained. 

Mikey still didn't respond. Casey sighed, and the bed shifted as he leaned against it. "She told me before she left to tell you thank you for everything you've done, and that no matter what happens, she loves you."

That made Mikey stifle a sob. "I don't want to hear that from you. I want her to be here and tell me that." His voice was still raspy and quiet, but his speech wasn't as broken as it was in the beginning of the day. 

"You know she wants to be here too, Mikey." Casey said. "But this is really serious. She's really upset that she hurt you guys, and she doesn't want it to happen again."

Mikey threw the blanket off his head and sat up, glaring daggers at Casey. "But it still could! The Foot get ahold of her and it's all over!" Mikey attempted to yell, but it came very squeaky. 

"Dude, I get it, but we're sitting here talking about her like she's property." Casey stated as he shook his head, crossing his arms. "We were sorta between a rock and hard place, you know? There was problems if she stayed, there are problems with her gone. But she's a person who's allowed to choose what she thinks is best."

Mikey stared at Casey, his jaw clenched. "It's just not fair." He whispered. "I feel like I just got her to open up and be herself after what they did to her, you know? And then her brothers have to show back up and ruin her life again." He muttered, wiping away a couple tears that had started rolling down his cheeks. 

Before Casey could respond, Donnie appeared in the doorway, looking flustered and on edge. He waved his phone as he spoke. "Monica's on her way back."

The silence that fell over the trio was deafening. Mikey wanted to ask, but he just couldn't bring himself to form the words. Casey, however, was able to after taking a deep breath. "And Shelby..?"

Donnie hesitated, his eyes flinting to Mikey momentarily, but he shook his head slowly.

And just like that, the dam broke. Mikey could not hold back his tears any longer, taking off his bandana as he buried his face in his hands. Casey muttered an apology before he exited with Donnie, leaving Mikey on his own to grieve.

About 10 minutes later, April returned with Chinese. Mikey wasn't hungry and stayed locked in his room, switching between bouts of crying and sitting quietly on his bed, listening for the rumble of Monica's engine. However, Monica did not return until later that night. 

When Mikey finally did hear the car pull in, he quickly made his way to the living room. As painful as it was gonna be to hear, he just needed to know what Monica had to say. 

When he entered the living room, he saw everyone else had made their way there. Leo was laid sprawled out against the arm of the couch, his shoulder wrapped and bandaged. He looked tired and he was using a thick comforter over the majority of his body, but other than that, he was conscious, alert, and free of ice, which was better than the last time Mikey saw him. Raphael, who was seated next to Leo, looked like he had just been through a really intense sparring match, with a couple of bruises and a few small bandages over even smaller cuts. Donnie, April, and Casey all sat together, watching the lab doors intently, while Master Splinter stood behind the couch, his expression neutral, but his red eyes gleamed with a certain intensity at the lab as well.

Mikey walked into the living room until he arrived at the couch, where he hesitated. He really didn't want to sit in the middle of the crowded room and not be able to make a beeline back to his room if he heard something too difficult to handle. 

He noticed Leo looking up at him from his position on the couch, and when Mikey didn't return his strained smile, Leo reached up with his good arm and gave Mikey's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, whatever Monica says, or whatever happens in the future, we'll all get through this."

Mikey nodded. "Thanks, bro."

The lab door opened, and the tension shot through the roof as Monica entered the lair. She looked tired and disheveled. Her hair, usually pulled up in a neat ponytail, was loose and frizzy. Her feet hardly lifted off the ground as she walked and she held her bow like it weighed 50 lbs. As she got closer, Mikey could see that her eyes were bloodshot and red. 

She stopped walking once she stood a few feet from the couches, staring at the floor as she finally let her bow slip from her hand and drop with a small clatter. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "She tried to fight it, but they took back over less than an hour after we arrived."

At first, no one said anything. Mikey was biting the inside of his cheek as he debated whether that was all he wanted to hear or not, tears flooding back to his eyes once again. However, the silence was broken by Raphael as he leaned forward, glaring at Monica intently.

"You should have just stayed wherever you were, Mireles. We don't have room in this lair for anyone who doesn't follow orders."

Leo looked at Raph in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Well- I only don't follow order when the orders are idiotic." Raph said pointedly. "But having Shelby stay was not idiotic. Leaving was. Now she's probably on her way back to the Foot Clan where the Shredder's gonna use her to tear us all into little turtle pieces." Raph's eyes locked up on Monica. "That's probably what you wanted in the first place, isn't it? Just couldn't let go of your grudge against mutants, you just had to tear our home apart."

"Raphael." Master Splinter snapped, causing Raph to jump slightly. "That's enough."

"I don't know if I speak for Monica and Casey," April began, and all eyes shifted to her, "but what was really worse? Letting Shelby go and getting some space while Donnie figures out how to reverse it? Or keeping her chained up in the lair where everyone's less than a sprint away from getting hurt if she escaped?"

"That's so short-sighted though, April." Donnie shook his head. "Long-term, it's so much more dangerous for Shelby to be with the Foot than held here. Now it's going to take a lot more work to get this situation under control."

"Can we stop pretending like we're arguing over whether or not we should stash a hand grenade in the lair or moved it somewhere else for someone else to find?" Monica asked. "I mean, everyone's sitting here trying to weigh the pros and cons of each scenario, but none of you are thinking with any sympathy towards what's really happening to Shelby." She explained, her voice shaking slightly as she continued. "She's fought so hard to have a nice life after what happened to her with the Foot and it's all being ripped away. She hurt you guys." Monica gestured to Leo and Mikey. "And I can tell you as someone who had to sit in a car with her for 4 hours, she is sick with guilt over it. Her decision wasn't about her, whether she would be safer long term or not. It was about you all. It always was."

After that, Monica reached in her jacket's pocket and grabbed out three folded notes that seemed to be bent and crinkled. "When we got to the farmhouse, she wrote these notes for you guys. I think she wanted to write more, but based on the sloppy handwriting on this last one, I think she felt the blackout coming and just started rushing to get stuff down." She explained. She walked over to where Casey was sitting, handing him one of the notes. She then walked over to where Leo sat, handing him another note. Finally, she faced Mikey, though she kept her eyes to the floor, as she passed him the final note.

Mikey held it in his hands delicately as he read his name written neatly on the outside of the folded note. His jaw tightened, unsure if he should read this with all the others in the room. As he heard Leo unfold his note and clear his throat, Mikey decided it was best to save his note for later.

"Dear Hamato Clan," Leo started, "there is so much to cover but I'm not sure I have the time. I'll start with telling you what I know. I know Aiden, one of my brothers, is the one who was injected with Alpha-X, the mind serum that controls mutants like me, injected with Beta-X. If you go looking for files on the serums, you should find them under this name. I know from Aiden talking in my head that it's undecided which dojo I'll be brought to. Aiden mentioned something about moving me to the farthest away location, but I'm not sure. I wish I had more information to help you.

"I need you all to know that I'm sorry. Not just for leaving against your wishes, but for even putting us in this position in the first place. I should have just listened to Leo when he told me that patrols were off the table 'til further notice. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused, both physical and emotional. I remember it all. If I make it out of this, I'm sure it'll haunt me for the rest of my life." 

Leo swallowed, looking up at the others sadly. "It gets really difficult to read at this point, but I'll try my best." Then he continued. "To Leo, I'm so sorry I hurt you. You were right all along, I should have never questioned your orders. I hope you get the chance to read this." He stopped, taking a deep breath, and Raph patted his shoulders. "Raph, I'm sorry for everything. I want to you know that in all my mistakes, I never meant to hurt your family. I hope one day I'll have the chance to prove that to you." Raph only looked the floor, his face neutral. "Donatello and April, thank you for being such good friends these last few... months." Leo began shifting the position of the paper, trying to get an angle that made the scribbles more legible. 

"Master Splinter, thank you so much for having the heart to take me in when I had nowhere to go. You were the best father I ever had, despite how short our time together was. And Monica, thank you for risking your safety to bring me out here and protect the others. Please continue to protect them for me. Please know, no matter what happens, I love you all." Leo sighed, letting the paper drop to his lap. "Shelby."

April wiped the tears that were spilling onto her cheeks, and Donnie threw his arm around her in comfort as Casey leaned forward, covering his face with his hands for a few seconds, before he got up hastily and made his way towards the dojo, unfolding his letter as he went.

Mikey sniffed, wiping away a few tears as well as he followed Casey's example and made his way back to his room. He crawled into his bed, sitting with his legs crossed and his trunk slumped as he unfolded the letter.

Dear Michelangelo,

First, I need to apologize. I am so sorry for hurting you. I need you to know that I would never do what I did on my own accord. You are the most important person in my life, and I would never hurt you on purpose. But I know that it was my body who did the damage, so I know it may take time to trust me again. You can take all the time you need. You gave me the time I needed this last year we've known each other, after all.

I regret a lot of things, Mikey. I regret not leaving the Foot Clan sooner. I regret believing I had any reminisce of my family left after my mother died. I regret bringing Shredder that mutagen to save myself, and I regret hurting your family in the wake of it all. But never for a second did I ever regret taking that walk outside the dojo to clear my head. You quite literally swept me off my feet and changed my life for the better. You gave me hope and friendship during one of the darkest points in my life. And even when I wanted you guys to keep yourselves safe, you came to rescue me and offered me refuge after I lost everything. I'm not sure I can ever repay that, but I hope one day, I have the chance to try.

I know your family tends to make you feel like you're dumb or unworthy of trust and responsibility a lot of the time. I want you to know that you are one of the most talented ninjas I've ever seen fight, you have so much energy and are so creative when it comes to solving problems. Sometimes it's nice to be the smartest one in the room, or the strongest, or the one who's the best at strategizing, but speaking as someone who was stuck on the wrong side of the fight, sometimes it's important to have the biggest heart and the most compassion when it comes to fighting the enemy. You are worthy of respect and love, Hamato Michelangelo. Please don't forget that while I'm away. 

I wish it was safe to say this all in person, and I wish I didn't have to say this last bit on paper, but that's just where we are, and I'm sorry for that. But I love you so much, Mikey. I'll be counting the seconds until I can hold you in my arms again.

Shelby

A couple tears stained the page before Mikey had the mind to place the letter to the side. His cries were not quiet, but at this point, he didn't really care who heard it. After a few minutes, there was a soft knock on his door, before Master Splinter entered, his face crestfallen.

Mikey tried to form a normal sentence, but between the sobs and his vocal cords still being damaged, he could only managed to speak in broken, hiccupy words. "I'm- sorry, sensai. I- just- can't stop- crying." 

Master Splinter closed the door behind him, taking a seat on Mikey's bed as he pulled his son closer to him. Mikey instantly buried his face in his dad's side, sobbing as Splinter gently stroked the back on his shell. "Never apologize for feeling grief, Michelangelo. There is nothing more important than feeling for yourself and others."