i made a discord server hmu if you're interested
i'll probably put the link on my profile anyway so

~

If you knew staying overnight at the café meant that you'd witness Bakugou Katsuki breaking in through the back window, you're not fully sure that you would've chosen to stay. But here you are, I guess.

You were just, y'know, chilling out in the break room, lying on the sofa, reading shitty crackfics, that kinda thing. Ao3 can be a very scary place. Anyway. It's two (2) am, and, no, you do not have an explanation for why you're still at the café. Plot convenience, probably. You have oreos, though, so that's a plus. You're just yawning and about to do your dailies on Discord when there's a startlingly loud click from the window.

See, normally, when someone hears their window being unlocked in the middle of the night, they'd hide or something. You don't, because, hey, you've been waiting for death to slide into your DMs for a good while now. Your only regret is that you can't say goodbye to your Minecraft girlfriend.

Unfortunately, Certain Death turns out to be just Possibly Death in the form of Kacchan. You stare blankly at him as he climbs in through the window, not having noticed you yet since you couldn't be bothered to turn the lights on earlier. He's about halfway inside when he glances up and sees you illuminated by your phone screen.

"... Shit."

You watch in silence as he loses his balance, loudly toppling down to the floor and knocking over the coffee machine by the window on his way down. Oh, Arata's gonna be pissed if that's broken. Nice.

"I'd ask if you could be any louder, but I know you could," you say, sitting up and turning on your phone's flashlight to see him sprawled across the ground properly.

Kacchan immediately springs to his feet, looking absolutely livid with gritted teeth and throbbing veins as he marches up to the sofa. "The fuck're you doing here? It's two in the fucking morning!"

"The fuck're you going here? It's two in the fucking morning," you echo, resting your arms on the back of the sofa and raising your eyebrows at him.

He splutters for a moment. "You— I— fuck— I asked you first, idiot!"

You shrug and flop back down to where you were laying. "Close the window first. It's cold."

You can hear him audibly grinding his teeth as he stomps back over to the window, though he's surprisingly careful with being quiet when he closes it. "Is anyone else here...?"

"Nope. Just your resident god." You finger-gun at him. He's entirely unimpressed. A few seconds later, he's flipping the lights on, and you're hissing and ducking under a pillow for cover. "Bakugou what the fuck you actual bitch—"

"What are you, a damn vampire?" He rips the pillow away from you, whacking you over the head with it before he drops it and sits down next to you.

"Dick."

"Idiot."

"Asshole."

"Dipshit."

You stare at each other in silence for a good few seconds, before huffing and sitting up again. "Why're you here, Kacchan?"

"It's fucking Bakugou!" Fucking Bakugou hisses, before flicking your forehead. "And I already said I asked you first."

You rub your head, pouting at him. "Wow, abuse. But fine, fine. My brother has friends over tonight and I hate all of them, so I decided to stay here instead."

"Are you kidding? Can't you just lock yourself in your room or some shit?"

You flick his forehead. Payback. "What is this, twenty questions? You gotta tell me why you're here before I say anything else."

He slaps your hand away, scowling. "Fine. The Old Hag wouldn't stop fucking yelling, so I came to wait here for her to pass out. I should've expected you'd be here, fucking weirdo."

"I'm chaotic, fool, you can't predict me." You stick your tongue out at him. "To answer your question, no, I was not kidding. And you have to answer me before I answer the other thing. Who's the Old Hag?"

"My shitty mother."

"Wow. And my door doesn't have a lock, so I can't do that, and my brother and his friends are really fucking loud anyway. Why d'you call your mum 'Old Hag'?" You absentmindedly offer him the pack of oreos.

He takes a few, slumping against the back of the sofa. "Because she's always pissy as hell. She yells at me for no damn reason and it's fucking annoying."

"Oop, sounds like my brother." You blink. "Oh. Hey. That explains a lot about you, actually."

Bakugou instantly shoots up again, ready to blast your ass to Timbuktu. "The hell do you mean by that?!?!"

You raise an eyebrow at him. "You're literally yelling for no reason right now."

He stares at you blankly for a few seconds, before slowly sitting down, wiping his sweaty ass hands on his trousers. Seriously, why the hell do people hold hands with him in fanfics? They'd be clammy as fuck. Entirely unpleasant. And, hey, he could probably blow you up whenever he wanted because of residue and stuff. It's just an overall bad idea. Fuck Bakugou's hands. Maybe Shoto should put his hand-crushing skills to some good use here. "... Shit."

Ooh, you should start a '... shit' counter. Also, you're pretty sure there's an unspoken 'u rite' there but you decide not to say that because you would not enjoy those sweaty ass hands exploding your face. Ain't nobody want a death like that.

You instead pipe up with, "Anywho, it's my question again now. And before you waste more of your turns with your weird 'hAh—?!?!' thing, it's because you asked me what I meant just now. Sooo yeah. Umm, questions..." You think for a moment. Wait, no you don't. Your last braincell left right along with your last fuck when you watched Kacchan climb through the window earlier. Oh well. "Haaaaave you ever thought about anger management classes?"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Yeah, I'm taking that as a no. Shame." You shrug, grabbing out another oreo.

Ew, sweaty hands. The miniature explosions going off in his palms are enough to make you picture how clammy and gross they must be. He better wash his hands a shit ton or you're gonna ban him from existence. "YOU WANNA FUCKING DIE, DUMBASS?!"

"Yes," you say.

Oop, you're back to the staring again. He genuinely seems to falter at that. Pfft, what is he, a boomer? Oh, wait, he is. Bakuhoe needs to get with the program. Everyone at least mildly craves death these days.

He's still staring at you. It's honestly just really fucking awkward now. You resort to your default reaction to most things - giving a stupid ass grin and finger guns. That makes him go mental again, of course, and you have to dodge explosions for a good half hour or so before you return to your 20 questions game.

You accidentally end up talking with him even later into the night, and both of you eventually end up falling asleep on the sofa, the coffee machine still in pieces on the floor and oreo wrappers scattered around randomly. All in all, it's a pretty nice impromptu hangout, which is surprising because, y'know, Bakugou.

What's not nice is when his phone goes off at six in the damn am and wakes both of you up. Kacchan's blasting off (again) soon enough, because school is a thing and he's meant to be some form of a good student. You're too tired to exist, so you decide to just go fuck school. Everyone's quarantined in the real world anyway, you might as well join in. Yeah, you kinda lock yourself in the café and forget where you put the keys. 1000IQ be like—

Arata's definitely gonna be highkey pissed about the coffee machine when he finally gets in though, so uh... Positives!!

Good times. Gooood times.