throwback to that time when i went to mcdonald's and the guy at the table next to mine complained to a member of staff bc the sauce in his burger wasn't centred

*deep inhale*
iT's sTaRtInG y'ALL

if you guys maybe possibly want to vote for hero café, you can find it in the 'other' category-
who are you? is also entered, but it's in the 'undiscovered gems' sections (couldn't figure out where else to put it lmao)
but seriously y'all, we should all use this as an opportunity to find some bnha stories that are actually worthwhile to read lmao-

this is the second part to -mxkurah 's request
LET'S BEGIN

~

Piece of Shit
Turn the music off.

You
k

Piece of Shit
And if you're not going to school, go to work. Kirin's leaving her shift early.

You
k

Piece of Shit
Text me when you get there.

You
k

You turn your phone off again, pausing the music before flopping off of your bed. You then proceed to roll across the floor until you reach the wardrobe. When you finally manage to push yourself up, you change into whatever you grab first and head out without brushing your hair. You get halfway down the street before realising you forgot the phones and iPod. Oh, and shoes.

Once you retrieve your previous electronics (and shoes), you continue on your way to the café. You put your earphones in at one point and spend the majority of the journey dramatically jumping around like you're in a music video or some shit like that.

Kirin, one of your brother's friends, is leaving as you get there. She carelessly tosses you the keys to the building before jogging off to her car. You're this close to flipping her off. Oh wait. Your metaphorical fingers are touching. You aggressively stick your middle fingers up at her as you walk backwards into the building, but sadly she doesn't see because her nose is pretty much welded to her phone. fUcKiNg mILLeNiALs. I'm an adult virgin-

You sigh and shake your head, before getting out your phone and making your way behind the counter. Soon enough, you've changed into the uniform, put on the Steven Universe: The Movie soundtrack because it's fucking amazing, 'forgotten' to text Arata, and started serving customers. It's a little past noon, so none of the UA kids are going to be here for a while. Sad. You're tempted to call Iida to see how pissed he'd get at you. Nah, it probably wouldn't even go off. Robot Boi™'s, like, the kinda dude that would put his phone on silent, do not disturb AND aeroplane mode aNd then turn it off. Actually, he'd probably die before he stepped into his classroom with his phone. Welp, guess imma test it out.

[SonictheLeghog]
dialing . . .

"Thank you for calling — apologies, but I cannot take your call at this moment in time. If it is urgent, please try contacting me thr–"

You groan as you cut off the message. Well, since calling didn't work, looks like you'll just have to lyric spam him. Y'know, just as something to do. You flick back and forth between that and taking orders, stealing a muffin at one point for yourself. Social interaction really takes a lot out of you.

Convenient time skip to a couple hours later, and you've switched the music over to the radio while totally not hacking into Nao's school phone (who the fuck even has one of those?) to see what shit you missed today. Oh, great. Fucking surds. Ooh - and atom economies! How fun! You're banging your head against the counter when Izuwu, Tododoki, Reeeda and Ochacolatte come in. Woah, squad.

Izuku makes some kind of choked sound at seeing you continue to slam your head down, but before anyone else can speak you see Ochaco start doing orange justice in the corner of your eye.

"UH-HUH! THIS MY SHIT, ALL THE GIRLS STOMP YOUR FEET LIKE THIS-"

Achey again, you and Ochaco aggressively wave finger guns at each other for a moment before they all make their way over to the counter.

"Is your head okay, Y/n?" Izuku asks, looking a little like a kicked puppy.

"Their head's never okay." Woah, okay Todoroki, when did you get so salty-

"Ooh, damn, I think your head's bleeding," Ochaco says, wide-eyed as she leans across the counter and moves your hair to check. Oop. Guess you reopened a cut or something.

"BANDAGES!" Iida fucking screams, pulling a roll of bandages from... one of his engines...? The fuck? You don't get time to question him, as literally two seconds later your head's being wrapped up and he's doing his chopping thing again. "Ah, right. I'd like to ask why you were spamming me when you should have been in class? I didn't receive your messages until I'd turned my mobile phone on and taken off aeroplane mode, do not disturb, silent and checked my communication apps. As the kids say, what the fuck, dawg?"

You stare at him blankly, deciding it's probably safest to pretend you never heard any of that. Turning to the newly-dubbed Salty Hoe, you grab Dabi's phone from your pocket and yeet it at him. "So, like, I think Crispy Bitch is stalking you or something, 'cause uh, you're kinda his background."

"Who's, uh... 'Crispy Bitch'?" Izuwu asks, still looking mildly traumatised from your head banging.

"Dabi."

"You stole a villain's phone?!" Ochaco blurts out, she and Izuku simultaneously leaning across the counter again.

"That's - that's not safe! They already know where you work, and you managed to escape from them, and now since you've got one of their phones they just have more reasons to come after you! We should really talk to the heroes or the police about getting some safety measures put in place or shbdisn wosmishejeosnlkspwmsksnbsnw sosneknwowmsnsbjwne sisnnwisne iznsoamhepansheisn skeko idneksknsbe sknsos sodnduiwkqb qua Ksbdodndje planejdmae uxbdnemeosow soksmene ssiksmebeienepwlqnen ownwneje-" Todoroki puts a hand over Izuku's mouth before he can continue with whatever the fuck that was.

"He has a point. Y/n! Your safety has been compromised! Please allow us to contact the police on your behalf!" Iida says, his air-chopping intensifying into the full-on robot.

"Nah," you say.

Ochaco rapidly blinks at you. "Wh-"

"I'm gay yeet."

"Y/n-"

"I'm so glad it's Friday," you huff, slumping across the counter. Ochaco pats your head.

"It's not Friday, though."

"OoOoOoOoOOOOOooOOooO yEaH yEaH!" Rebecca Black comes on the radio to support you!

"... I give up."

There's a ding, and then Keanu Reeves walks in. Y'all stare at each other for a moment, before he slowly leaves again.

"... iT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!..." Rebecca says helpfully.

"So, uh." The mini squad look round at you again. "Did you guys wanna order something...?"

"Oh shit I forgot this was still a café-"