whoever can figure out where my pfp is from can do the giving me an idea for a chapter thing 👀

on the topic of that
here we go
sorry for butchering your idea -mxkurah lmao

~

You decide not to go into school the next day, because you have better things to do. Y'know, like not get out of bed and attempt to guess the password to the phone you stole. Normal stuff.

1234 [Incorrect]
0101 [Incorrect]
1357 [Incorrect]

Damnit, why can't villains have obvious passwords... I wanna hack into your phone, dude, don't make your passcode cOmPLiCaTeD!! What even was Crispy Bitch's name? Agni? Dani? Dabi? Hah, dab-i on those haterz. ... I'll show myself out.

Wait... WAIT WAIT WAIT. For the sake of moving the plot along, I have come up with an idea. Dabi...

0481 [Unlocked]

HELL TO THE YEAH. You mentally cheer, watching as the home page appears... with a family photo of a bunch of white and redheads as the background.

... Tea.

You're 100 percent ready to start snooping through Crispy Bitch's photo library - is that a smol Tododododoroki in the background? - but before you can the screen lights up with an incoming call.

Boss

Ohhh shit. That's Shigaraki. Probably... What a boring name. Dabi, you're an uncreative fuck. Let Mapa Y/n educate you. Yes, I did just combine Mama and Papa. Fight me.

Accepting the call, you put it on speaker before going into this uncultured fool's contacts. Oh, and you grab the iPod that is technically supposed to be at the café right now but fuck that amirite, just in case you need it.

"dABi I sWeAr tO gOd—" Ohhhh snap, he's angry. Looks like Dabi's a naughty boy 👀. "You were supposed to be back TEN MINUTES AGO. Where the hell are you?!"

You decide to try your best Crispy Bitch impression.

"I'm at T-T-T-TAAAAAARGEEEEEET!!"

"... What the fuck?" Ah, so we have two uncultured swines. Nice to know.

You type in a song on the iPod with one hand, expertly editing Dabi's contact names in the other.

"Who is this?"

You purse your lips for a moment, before piping up with, "It's Britney, bitch."

"... Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I've never met kidding me, soooo... probably not. Sorry, m'dude."

There's silence for a moment, and then Crusty Thot seems to have some kind of epiphany.

"Is this Hiro Y/n?! How the hell did you get Dabi's pho-"

You accidentally press play on the iPod, familiar music of the song you picked beginning to blare out. "... WE'RE NO STRANGERS TO LOOOOVE. YOU KNOW THE RULES, AND SO DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. A FULL COMMITMENT'S WHAT I'M, THINKING OOOOOOOOOOOF-!"

"What the actual fuck? Turn that off right now-" You turn the volume up. "nO! TURN IT OFF! NO! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!"

"Bet."

"... What?"

"Do it, coward."

"Now listen here you-"

You aCcIdEnTaLLy turn the volume all the way up. Shigaraki screams on the other side of the line.

"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOUUUUUUU! NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY, NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE, NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE, AND HURT YOUUUUUUUU!"

"YOU'RE DEAD! DEAD, YOU HEAR ME? JUST WAIT UNTIL I FIND YOU. I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT WITH AN UNO REVERSE CARD IF I HAVE T-"

"That's nice. Bye." You hang up. For a moment, everything's peaceful. You just lay there, listening to Rick Astley have the time of his fucking life as your back throbs. Then your phone dings.

You let out an exaggerated groan, rolling over and grabbing it from the desk. The notification makes you frown.

【 (1) New Message from 'Piece of Shit' 】

Yay.