one of these things is not like the others
oh and also Brdesty and Levi_is_da_wae commented on the picture of hawks so yeah i'm just giving y'all recognition since your comments didn't fit in the screenshot
anywho
if i made a q+a thing would anyone ask questions or would i be sat waiting for something that will never happen

bakuhoe: pEOPLE CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT USING A QUIRK THEY'RE WEAK USELESS TRASH
me: *chapters 30-33*

listen up y'all: the amazon rainforest is burning. we need to raise awareness. so many people and animals live there, and it supplies more than 20% of the world's oxygen. it's been labelled a global emergency. please read up on it!!

i'll start the chapter now

~

"WHO THE HELL LET THEM OUT THIS TIME?!" Crispy Bitch half-yells, barely dodging as you yeet a handful of cookies at him.

You scream too, ducking out of the way of yet another knife flying towards you. Hopping down off the counter, you grab the plate with the remaining cookies, before throwing it as hard as you can at the perpetrator.

"NOT MY cOoKiEs-" She shrieks. She almost seems to forget there's a china plate coming at her. Oh, never mind, she definitely forgot. She's knocked out on the floor a few seconds later.

You have absolutely no fucking clue what you're doing, but it's working, so at least that's something. You drop down behind the counter to avoid the wave of blue fire that almost, y'know, kills you. Popping up again when the heat disappears, you barely manage to jump out of the Ninja Turtle Reject's way as he tries to barrel into you. You realise you're just continuously dodging, but saying it in different ways, and that shit is getting old real fast so you gotta do something new quickly.

So, obviously, you hiss at him.

"Did they just h i s s ???" Green Greninja says, before promptly getting whacked in the face by one of the bar stools. For an extremely dangerous organisation made up of murderous, well-known criminals, they're surprisingly easy to take down. Ah, well. Plot convenience, you guess. Either that or they're weak to having things thrown at them.

You turn towards the rest of the villains, earning a frantic call from this big-lipped gal: "NO STOP WAIT PUT THAT DOWN! Why isn't my quirk working?! Are you a boy or a girl?!"

"Soz Professor Oak, this is a non-gender specific crackfic," you say, then slam the stool down on her head. Watching villains crumple to the floor is actually becoming kind of satisfying. Guess you're a sadist now.

Dropping the stool and darting out of the way of another stream of fire, you look up to see the bar bursting into flame. Getting trapped behind there probably wouldn't be fun, so you quickly climb over to the other side before that happens.

"KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THE SHARP OBJECTS-" Wait, when did I get this knife? Oh well. You shrug and brandish it at the masked guy near you who is absolutely losing his shit.

"Use your quirk, idiot!" Crispy Motherfucker says, trying to put out the fire he started, because he's an idiot.

"Oh yeah-"

"Yeah, no." Aaand the overgrown Midna is down for the count! You grin proudly, deciding it's time for a snack and picking up some good ol' sustenance.

"Are they trying to eat the forks?" Comes a horrified whisper from behind you. You turn and realise there's still your kidnapper and that bitch with your phone. You sigh and drop the forks... for now.

"Hey, Crispy Bitch?" You say, nyooming over to him.

He stared down at you wide-eyed, which probably isn't too comfy with all those staples. "Wh-"

"Feel how cold my hands are!" You cup his face for a moment, before slamming your forehead against his. The impact makes you a little dizzy and you're pretty sure some of his angsty energy just transferred over to you, but overall you're good. You step away from yet another fallen body. Now to get my phone back...

"gUyS I'M TRYING TO THREATEN THE HEROES HERE!!" The crusty dude screes. Little late there, bud. You watch as he mumbles something or other before ending the call. "LEAVE THE FORKS ALONE YOU FREAK!"

You beam at him as he stares blankly, probably blue screening at the sight of all his members, y'know, taken out.

"Wh— How—?"

"Plot."

"Oh."

"aNyWhO!" You pick up a fork and let it hang out the side of your mouth like those farmers do with straw or whatever. "Can I have my phone back? I'm not saying please btw because you're kind of a bitch."

"Did you say btw out lou— okay, yeah, no." So turns out Crusty Thot is more than just kind of a bitch. You wave the fork aggressively at him as he starts moving towards you, backing up a little. "You're an annoying brat, so I'm going to kill you."

"What the actual fuck, dude?" You bump into the bar, your plot armour deteriorating by the second.

He reaches out and grabs onto the prongs of the fork, staring you directly in the eyes (ew, wrinkles) as he puts his pinky down and it crumbles into dust.

"Dude! That was my snack!" You say, then scree as he starts reaching for your neck instead. "-oKAY OKAY OKAY! Uh, fuck, uh - hOw aBoUt wEeeEEEeEe... play a game!"

His hand stops centimetres away from your throat. "... A game?"

Okay this is working don't fuck it up- "Yup! If you win, you can absolutely murder me. If I winnnnn... I get my phone back."

You know you should probably try and escape, but you have priorities, damnit.

"... Hmm..." Crusty Bitch slowly retracts his hand, a creepy ass smile forming on his face. "... What game will it be?"

Come on brain, be so smart... Pick a game you're good at, idiot—!

"Have you ever played Uno?"