ayyy thanks y'all

You blink rapidly at Deku, who can apparently nyoom at the speed of light because he's now at the counter again. "... Yeeees? Why?"

"Uh, well." He does that thing that all guys do in stories where he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "You just seemed really uncomfortable with that girl, and I didn't speak up before so I just kinda felt bad..."

You snort (not cocaine). "Oh, don't worry about Nao. She just likes sticking her nose into other people's shit. Figuratively. That's a weird image..."

"Are you sure?" Oof there are the puppy eyes-

"Abso-tootin'-lutely."

"Did you really just say abso-tootin'-lutely?"

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Mina's the tootin' police."

Kirishima looks extremely concerned. "... why would you want that??"

"It's a figure of speech, sweetie," you say, making his blinding smile return.

"If you say so!"

Mina slams her hand down on the table she's sat at. Waitwhendidshegotoatable- "I swear you lace your food or something, 'cause this shit is good."

"Ah," you say.

"... Y/n did you drug our food-"

You wave Ochaco off, slumping across the counter. "Nah. I wouldn't do that to you guys. Would be a killer way to fuck up my brother's reputation though..." The four cock their heads at you simultaneously, whiiiich is a little freaky to be honest. You raise an eyebrow at them. "...what?"

"Say, why d'you hate your brother so much, Flapjack?" Ochaco asks, before shovelling another forkful of cake into her mouth.

"bEcAuSe hE fUcKiNg pUsHeD mE- nah that's a joke. Uh, doesn't everyone hate their siblings?" Become one with the snek. I am Deceit. I am small and unthreatening - oh wait, no, that's Talyn. Uhh guess I'm an amalgamate yeet-

"I don't have siblings, but I don't think everyone does?" Kirishima says, scratching his cheek.

"Well then fuck dude I dunno."

The bell chimes and some regular customers come inside. You stand up straight, putting on a smile as Deku makes his way back to the table.

"Welcome to Hero Café..."