Featured: _-SmolBudgieLord-_, That-One-Genderfluid, Cramsalesman

Smol opened the door to the new shop that had opened up downtown. She was curious to see what they sold, weapons? Armor? Something from the depths of Hermittpad's collective crackhead braincell?

"Hello, we are selling CRAM," was the first thing she heard.

She guessed it was something from the depths of Hermittpad's collective crackhead braincell.

Flannery and Cram were standing behind a counter together, both wearing some sort of matching marketplace uniforms. They were both also grinning like idiots, like they were barely suppressing laughs.

"Um.... cram?" Smol asked. "Isn't that your name?"

"It is also the name of a substance we have created together," answered Cram, speaking in a rather odd fashion. "Would you like to purchase some cram?"

"Twenty gold coins a bucket," Flannery added.

Smol wondered why she was here. ".... what is cram?"

Flannery's eyes gleamed. "Ah, it's a mushy substance you put in between your gums, it's not dip, though, don't think it's dip." They said that last bit rather threateningly, and Smol's wish to leave grew significantly, though she did wonder how long they could keep this act up, so she decided to keep pressing buttons, waiting for the machine to overload.

"How much for some cram again?" she inquired, even though she still had no clue what the heck cram was.

"Twenty gold coins a bucket," Cram replied.

"We are selling multiple crams, very different flavors, yes!" Flannery added. "I have raspberry cram, berry cram, VERY berry cram, kiwi cram, cherry cram, oh, and banana cram."

"And I have raspberry cram, VERY berry cram, VERY VERY berry cram, orange cram, banana cram, and apricot cram." Cram grinned at Smol, who held back a chortle.

"Do you sell anything other than cram?" Smol asked, receiving shakes from both salespersons' heads.

"We do sell cram swords," Cram said, pointing to a magnificent sword hanging on the walk behind them.

Flannery nodded. "Ah, yes, laid in the sun for about a fortnight and it shall harder than steel!"

Smol held her hand to her mouth in an attempt not to burst out laughing. "How much for a- a cram sword?"

"Fifty gold coins for one cram sword," Flannery answered. "As opposed to the twenty gold coins for one bucket of cram."

"I-I don't have any gold coins."

Cram shrugged. "You can do cram-related favors for us in exchange for some gold coins if you wish."

Smol shook her head. "I.... do not wish to do- to do cram-related favors."

"That is too bad," Flannery said, sighing. "Come again later if you wish to receive cram!"

Cram shouted, "Just don't go to the marc salesman!"

Smol, about to leave, turned around to face the two again, confusion doubled. "The marc salesman?"

They nodded gravely. "That is the opposite of cram," Cram said.

Smol wheezed, leaving the shop quickly so she could die of laughter in peace.

As soon as she left, Cram and Flannery began dying of laughter as well, actually able to express it now that a customer had left.

What, you think people can keep up that act for too long?