I like hermit children

Scar smiled as he looked around the hotel room he'd made for Tiny Cub again. The hermit child was right at home in Scarland, already wearing all the merch and already asking what everything is.

'Unucle Car! Unucle Sar!' Child Cub yelled as he ran over. 'Jellie did a big poopy!'

'What?'

'Big poopy all in Carland! Is a... A casafofy! A catasofy! Come looky looky!'

There was nothing Scar could do as the child dragged him outside and onto the street where his friend/son had surrounded Jellie with brown concrete poop.

'Poopy.' He explained, if it wasn't already clear. 'Big poopy.'

'Jellie... Have you been eating all the Scarland food again?' Scar played along, walking over, breaking the 'poo' with his pickaxe. Cub gasped behind.

'UCLE SAR TUSED JELLIE POOPY! UCLE SAR IS TINKY AS TINKY SERIF! UCLE SAR TUSED JELLIE POOPY! SAR IS TINKYYYY!'

'CUB!' Scar turned, seeing his child just giggling as he pointed at him.

'TINKY SAR! TINKY SCAR! TINKY SAR!'

Jellie, now freed from the 'excrement', padded over. Scar was still figuring out what to do to remove his status as 'Tinky Sar'.

'Did you know' He invented suddenly 'When a stinky hermit touches a not-stinky hermit, the stinkiness passes to the new hermit.' Cub frowned, tilting his head.

'What?'

'So... If I cuddle you, then I'm no longer stinky. But you are stinky.'

'Ohhhhh... Tinky touch?'

'Should we try to stinky touch Mumbo and Grian?'

Cub giggled, nodding.

'Or, should I tinky touch YOU?'

Cub squealed as Scar ran at him, darting out the way, towards Grian's base. Scar chased him down, pretending to be going slower on purpose and not that Cub was actually faster than him.

'GIAAAAAAN!' Cub wailed as he ran over. 'GIAN! GIAN! GIAN! HEEEEELP!'

'Cub-Cub?' Grian appeared above, flapping down on his tiny wings. 'Wha's a pobem?'

'Sar got tinky touch and he wants to tinky touch meeee!'

'Cuuub... I'm going... To get you...' Scar panted for breath. The little hermit squealed again and hid behind Grian.

'Tinky touch Gian!' Cub shoved his protection at Scar, who quickly passed on the tinky touch. Grian started crying.

'MUMBOOOOOOO!' He wailed. 'MUMBOOOOO!'

'Goodness gracious... What happened? Scar? What happened to Grian?' Mumbo's confused face popped out from the bridge.

'MUMBO COME WICK! KICKLY! MUMBO MUMBO!'

Unable to resist the child's wails, Mumbo flew down, landing next to him. Grian poked him.

'MUMBO HAS TINKY TOUCH NOW!' He declared and ran out the way. Cub and Scar followed, as Mumbo figured out what was going on.

'Wait... HEY! GRIAN! THAT'S NOT FAIR!' The moustached now-dad ran after the group. Grian and Cub were first in the air, Scar following to make sure they wouldn't plummet to their death.

'SORRY MUMBO!' Scar apologised. Mumbo chased after them, over the server, towards the shopping district and the Hermit nursery. Grian was first to land in the fenced play area where Ren and Martyn were battling Joel, Tango and Doc in the 'epic doom lore GOAT battle war of lore GOAT doom battleification.'

'EMERGASY! EMERGASY! MUMBO HAS THE TINKY TOUCH!' The little gremlin child screamed. Tango ran over to Jimmy, who picked him up.

'Uhh... EXCUSE me? What's the tinky touch?'

'Ucle Sar touched Jellie poopy, and then Sar gave it to Gian, and Gian gave it to Mumbo and we all ran away.' Cub explained. Mumbo landed on the wall where everyone except Jimmy ran instantly. So Mumbo gave Jimmy the tinky touch.'

'TINKY TOY TIMMY GOT THE TINKY TOOOOUCH!' Joel yelled. 'AND TANGO HAS TINKY TOUCH TOO!'

'EXCUSE ME?!'

'Sorry, Jimmy. But you are now stinky.' Scar explained, now able to cuddle Cub without him running away. 'It's the rules of the tinky touch.'

'Can I NOT have it?' He looked around at where Etho and every single child except Tango were now chanting 'Tinky Tim! Tinky Tim!'

'Yeah! You just need to give it to someone else! It's easy!'

Jimmy turned, trying to hit Mumbo, but he'd run out the way, gliding over to where the others were standing. Jimmy ran at the group, who scattered immediately. He was still holding Tango.

'Jimmy-Jimmy, if we both have tinky touch I can try tinky touch also well!' The child rancher realised.

'Yes. Go. Get Joel. Give Joel the... the tinky touch. Now.'

Jimmy let Tango down, and child instantly dashed to where Joel and Etho were hiding. Jimmy went for Scar at the same time, crashing to the ground. The 2 ranchers tried desperately to catch anyone, finding any moment when-

'GET HIM!' Jimmy screeched as Etho tripped. Him and Tango charged down the washed up ninja, successfully giving him the Tinky Touch.

'UCNLE EFO IS TINKY!' Little Cub yelled from halfway up a tree. 'TINKY EFO! TINKY EFO!'

'Aww man...'

'Efo- Efo is wassed up!' Grian added. 'Efo is wassed uuuuup!'

'Hey! You...' He ran at Grian who squealed and flew away. 'Come back! Please!' At this point, Jimmy and Tango were far out the way, everyone hiding from the tinky touch.

Except Cleo, who'd just arrived. Etho hit her.

'What was that, Etho?' The zombie turned, arms crossed, as Etho backed away.

'Uhhh you've got the tinky touch?'

'TINKY CEO! TINKY CEO!' A new chant broke out. Joel returned to his dad now he was un-tinkied. Scott gasped from piggybacking on his new mum's shoulders.

'I do also has tinky touch?'

'Yeah. Scott has it.'

Scott, upon discovering this, started crying, smacking Cleo.

'CEO TINKY NOT MEEEEEEE!'

'SCOTT!'

Scott's tantrum, if it was even possible, increased in magnitude as his Mum's yell.

'TINKY SOTT! TINKY CEO!' Joel screamed even louder. Scott continued screeching as loud as he possibly could. Little Martyn and Ren were giggling at the noise.

'I- Imagine- Imagine I'm Sott and and this is how you're like WAAAAAAAAAAAA!' Martyn imitated with surprising accuracy. With help from Cleo, he was lowered to the ground, sprinting over and shoving Martyn.

'YOU LIKE WAAAAA!'

'YOU HURT MARTYN-TYN!' Ren squealed back, hugging his friend. Scott stuck out his tongue before storming cutely off and sulking.

'Alright! Alright! Calm down everyone! It's ok!' Scar intervened. 'Martyn, are you ok?'

'I'm fine!'

'Great! Well I think this game has gone on long enough... What else do we want to play?'

'Uhhh... Hidy seeky! Hidy seeky!' Suggested Grian. 'Serif tinky seeky first!'

'What- fine... 1, 2, 3...'

Hehehe

Chaos children