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Welcome to my occasional hermit child oneshots!

And yes, the child dialogue will be decently close to how children actually speak

cubfan135: VvjcJ

cubfan135: cAO

GoodTimeWithScar: ????

cubfan135: CAOS..nm

cubfan135: CAIS

impulseSV: help

Tango: BBBBBBBBBBB

Tango: BBBB

Mumbo: WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO CHAT

Mumbo: FOODBESS GRACIOUS GRIAN IS A CUILD

GoodTimeWithScar: oh no

GoodTimeWithScar: CUB IN COMINF!

Worry and confusion growing in equal part, Scar closed chat, taking off... so... Cub was a child. Cub was now a child... But how?! What had happened? And how had the same happened to Grian... it didn't take long for Scar to fly over to his friend's starter base, flying under and then up to see...

'UCLE CAR!' Came an excited yell 'IT'S UNUCLE CAR!'

Scar landed, seeing a small child, around 3 years old, with black hair and green eyes, staring at him with a huge smile.

'Ucle Car.' Cub the child declared, wandering over. 'I wanna chaos!'

'Now... Now little Cub.' but problem two quickly emerged as Scar crouched to his level: Child Cub was too cute to refuse 'We're not going to cause chaos now...'

'I wanna NOT not gonna chaos! Can we not not gonna chaos?'

Xisuma: cyovw cvisobs

Pearlescentmoon: ...ok, shopping district now

Pearlescentmoon: bring the children

'Now then, Little Cub, we're going to go to the shopping district...' But before Scar could lift him up to carry over, Little Cub fazed through his arms, tiny vex wings flapping and shot away, up to the balcony where he stood and declared.

'CHAOS CAR I WANNA CHAOS I DON'T WANNA SOPPING DISIT!' His eyes were glowing vex blue, wings raised behind him, having a remarkable Vexling toddler temper tantrum.

'Cub!' Scar flew up to him, 'Come with Uncle Scar! It's fun with Uncle Scar! We get to meet other hermits! It's fun!'

'Unucle Cars do chaooooos!' Cub wailed, pulling at his jacket. Scar picked him up, successfully this time, resisting the child's psychological warfare as he set off, walking through his base, up and outside... As they walked, Little Cub's whines quieted down to mumbles and then silence as he fell asleep.

It took a while to reach the shopping district on foot, clearly not the first there as Mumbo waved over from where a decent group had gathered. Next to him, the surprisingly obedient 4 year old Grian trotted over, wide eyes curious and little wings raised behind.

'Hey Mumbo... I found Cub. He's asleep now, but he wanted to cause chaos...'

'Chaos?' Grian focused on. 'I wanna chaos!'

'We do chaos now?' Came the mumble of Cub waking up. 'I wanna chaos now!'

'No, Little Cub we're not causing chaos... We're listening to what the other hermits say and figuring out how to make you normal Cub again...'

'Scaaaaaaaaar...' Grian pulled at his trouser leg. 'I wanna do a chaos but Mumbo wanna not do a chaos!'

'No, Grian, we're not causing chaos, as Mumbo said, and...'

'HELP!'

A yell broke through Scar's insistence as Impulse crashed, with not just tiny Tango but little Zedaph too, both having an extremely fun time.

'I... I was just with them and... And then I turned away and they became children and... And...'

'Ucnle impuwse!' Grian ran over to where he'd collapsed, letting Tango and Zed go. 'I wanna chaos... But ucnle Scar and Uncle Mumbo said we do wanna not chaos... But I wanna chaos, and Cub wanna chaos... And can we chaos if we chaos really really sensibish?'

'No... no... That is a really bad idea...'

'I wanna chao wi Gian an Cub!'

'Ucle Scar tol me we can do a chaos.' Little Cub lied, freeing himself and gliding over. The other three looked at him.

'Ucle Sar! Ucle Sar! I wanna chao!' Tango and Grian nodded, clearly agreeing with Zedaph's excitement.

'Now, Little Cub. I didn't actually say that did I?'

'Yes you did.'

'No I didn't!'

Little Zedaph sobbed.

'But I wanna chao!' He cried. Tango gave him a hug. Grian patted him on the head.

'It's ok, Zeddie Zeddie, we do a chaos but Scar and Mumbo and Impulse won't. Is a compomise.' Grian decided.

Explosion.

'WHY DID YOU GIVE A CHILD TNT, ETHO?!' Came an immediate explanation from Cleo. 'WHY?!'

'Bdubs and Doc said they wanted TNT!'

'CHAOS!' The group of children very quickly realised what they could also get, running over, with Zedaph (who appeared to be the youngest) behind.

'NO!' Scar and Impulse were quick to follow, but it was too late as Grian sat down next to Etho.

'Ucnle Etho?' He asked. The ninja looked down at the group of children, eyes wide. 'Can we have a TNTs to do a sensibish chaos?'

'Uhh... Cleo, what do I do?'

'I don't know! I'm currently dealing with Xisuma right now!'

'Uhh... No TNT?'

Zedaph started crying again. Little Cub joined in. Tango and Grian continued insisting why they should have TNT until...

'Fine! But no flint and steel or Cleo will kill me.'

'Mom wanna kill him.' Bdubs explained. Next to him, Doc was miming the brutal murder of 2 cat teddies at the horns of a goat teddy.

'What are you playing, Doccy?' Scar tried to intervene with the imminent chaos, snatching the TNT from Etho's hands before he could potentially cause the end of the server.

'Kill the stinky hemit!' He declared. 'Stinky hemit bwoke tunnel bore and goaty wanna kill them back!'

'Kill?' Zedaph blinked. 'Ucle Sar what kill?'

'Kill is really really big bad hemit not come hurt you.' Explained Doc. 'Cuz... Cuz you stop dem with TNT.'

'TNT chaos big bad hemit topper?' Figured Cub. 'Ucnle Scar, can I TNT chaos big bad hemit topper?'

'Scaaar? I wanna kill the big bad hemit... Can I kill the big bad hemit with TNT?' Grian asking everyone what he wanted until one of them gave in.

'Who big bad hemit dow?' Tango frowned. 'I can't wanna kill if I don't know them.'

'It Uncle Sar and Gian.'

Silence.

'Hang on, I not big or bad.' Grian frowned. 'I little hemit.'

'An... An Ucnucle Car good big hemit!' Added Cub.

'But I wanna chao hemit kill chao!' Whined Zedaph.

'Now, Doccy... Maybe... Maybe you want to sleep, and do chaos later!'

'We chaos laterest?'

'I wanna not not laterer chaos! I wanna nowest chaos!' Cub started crying again. Zedaph joined in. Grian turned to Etho.

'Ucle Etho can I do chaos nower than laterest?'

'I need... To... See what's going on with Xisuma...'

'He's asleep.' Cleo walked over, quickly removing the escape route. 'And I heard you.'

'Daddy Etho you touble wit mom?' Bdubs looked between his Limited Life parents.

'No, no... I... They were too cute I had to!'

'Mom Ceo can I chaos?' Grian rushed over to her. 'Can I chaos and chaos with Cub and Tango and Zedaph and not Doccy cuz Doccy said Imma big bad hemit but I'm not!'

'Absolutely not. Now be quiet and listen as the big hermits discuss this.' Grian whined with disappointment, turning back to the crowd of hermits.

It seemed like everyone was there, with several other child hermits - little Gem was hitting little Keralis repeatedly with a wooden sword, Ren was yelling about being king, little Beef was explaining to Jevin what the new super duper very very rare Jevie Jevie card did. ('The other hemit go BANG and you get ALL the points!'), and more harrassed hermit parents. As he was distracted, Scar picked up Little Cub and Grian, stopping their plans for chaos, as the meeting began.