Scar, talking about The Little Mermaid: Triton has seven daughters because there are seven seas.

Sam (AKA Falcon): WHAT???

Grian: What sea is Ariel?

Doc: The honking Red Sea- have you seen her hair?

Alex: Hang on- *writes on paper and passes it around*

Paper: "Attina: Bering Sea (largest sea = oldest sibling) - Alana: Black Sea (hair) - Adella: Mediterranean Sea (personality is romantic) - Aquata: Coral Sea (personality is shy) - Arista: White Sea (hair) - Andrina: Caribbean Sea (personality is carefree) - Ariel: Red Sea (hair)"

Sam: Oh my god-

Grian: Whaaaaaat????

Doc: Was their mother the Dead Sea-?

Literally everyone: .... GET OUT AND DON'T COME BACK-

Hels, waking up from (another-) coma: *yawns* What time is it?

Alex: Like 3 AM. You want to get some food?

Hels: Yes please, I'm starving. *slides out of bed*

Wels: *just had an anxiety attack and is practically sobbing* Can yOU PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED-

Cub: Aren't those decorative?

Doc: Just because they're pretty doesn't mean they're not knives.

Alex: Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called "garbage can", not "garbage cannot".

Xisuma: ... that is weirdly uplifting?

Tango: I'm gonna stop saying "let's get this straight" and start saying "let's run bi this again".

Every bisexual Tango knows: Y E S

Joe: "yOu sUpPoRt gAy RiGhTs sO yOu hAve tO bE gAy"

Joe: I support animal rights, do I look like an alpaca???

Fundy: You've heard of "be gay, do crimes", now get ready for: "be trans, throw hands"!

Doc: Be queer, instill fear

Tango: Be bi, go for the eye

Ren: Be pan, end it with a bang!

Xisuma and Alex, in unison: Be ace, punch face

Alex: Are you living or are you just jumping from one obsession to another to run away from yourself?

Hermits: ...

Doc: What are you, the coping mechanism police?

Steve: Have any of you ever had a dream so vivid it stuck in the back of your mind for years?

Zed: I had a dream like three years ago that the Weasley family had a rap battle with the Queen of England.

Impulse: Sure, I don't get a "healthy" amount of sleep like some people do, but can they do this-! *stands up, blacks out for a second*

Etho: No, they cannot.

Zed: You... shouldn't... be.. able... to...? *concern*

Doc: Where can I find some thigh-high crocs?

Bdubs: ... in Hell.

*the Voids, stuck in Sakaar for whatever reason (*cough* Xisuma's fault *cough*) and trying to escape*

Xisuma: *points at an old Quinjet in a pile of trash* WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE???

Alex: That one's garbage!!

*spaceships fly overhead and try shooting them*

Alex, running towards the Quinjet at full speed: THE GARBAGE WILL DO-

Zed: The invention of the shovel was ground-breaking.

Alex: But the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.

Clint: Come on, it was the invention of the wheel that really got things rolling.

*several bad puns later*

Peter (Spider-Man): NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE. NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB. NEED JOB FOR MONEY. WHAT. WHO THE HECK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM???

Joe: NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB, NEED JOB FOR EXPERIENCE.

Cleo: NEED CAR FOR JOB, NEED JOB FOR CAR.

Scar: GOTTA EAT TO LIVE, GOTTA STEAL TO EAT, TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT WHEN I GOT THE TIME-

Satan him-freaking-self: Hey, um, you sold your soul to me last week and-

Cub: No returns.

Satan: Yeah, it's just that it's a lot more twisted than I thought it wou-

Cub: No. Returns. 

Um- Heh, sorry for not uploading in a while- Oops. No random story today, but hope you enjoyed! Byyyyyyyyyyye~ 

- CaptainMarra (did not mean to get THAT level of distracted-)