(Mentions/talks about depression, like one mention of blood/death but it is temporary, pretty much this is the one okay fic ive written in awhile lmao)

     Looking at Bdubs, he is a very optimistic person.

     He promotes good sleep and he goes everyday with a smile on his bright face. It's easy to just say that he is scared of the dark or the monsters inside of it.

     No, it was much more sinister than that.

     Bdubs was perfectly fine with the dark. He loved it actually. He embraced it with a warm hug as if it were a friend. The mobs weren't even a problem to him either. He was neighbors with a creeper hybrid, he was allies with a zombie in another world. There were other people he was friends with that were part monster so Bdubs found it offensive to be scared of them. Sure, his friends were hybrids and that was a bit different but their instincts were still there. Occasionally, Doc will actually explode when under high amounts of stress. Bdubs got used to hearing the boom at night from farther away in an already made crater. Cleo was strictly a carnivore and usually ate the brains and organs of animals she bred to be slaughtered. It was normal for Bdubs. Heck, he embraced it. In the other world he kept some containers of food for Cleo on him.

     So, he wasn't scared of the dark nor was he scared of the monsters. There was the possibility of him just sleeping for the general self care benefit.

     Except it wasn't.

     He knew that there is just the right healthy amount of sleep. You can't get too little but you also can't get too much. Both are opposite ends of the spectrum but they are balanced. Bdubs knows he doesn't get too little sleep. He does know he gets too much.

---

     Bdubs sighed into his pillow, letting a tear roll down and soak the cover.

     He felt so drained and he had just woken up. Looking at the clock that always sat next to his bed, he groaned seeing that it was getting to be late already- already two in the afternoon- and he hadn't gotten up yet. He already missed breakfast and lunch so he didn't see the point in forcing himself up.

     He rolled over, flopping his arm across the bed and clenching his fist around the covers. Laying in bed for the next few hours won't hurt his progress. He had already built a huge mountain and created a business venture with Tango and Keralis that should keep the diamonds rolling in. From where he was laying, he could see the Boomer's logo and the Scar For Mayor posterd on his wall. That was the season this fog began to drift in. At least there he still had people who would get him up from his state to go and do projects together. The other world he lived in between each season had him unable to sleep. He was up at night trying to keep safe from everyone else and the nightmare of bloodshed kept him up anyways. Bdubs figured he must be making up for his lack of sleep in this season.

     "Bubbles?" He heard giggling from downstairs and a knock on the door. It sounded a lot like Pearl and Keralis.

     Bdubs wanted to get up- he really did- but he found himself unable to. It was too difficult. His body felt numb and not under his control. It was so tired still and he wanted to be alone. His rational part of his brain told him to get up, greet his friends and then go start on chores. He had lots to do and not getting up was just going to hurt him.

     "Bubbles? Are you home?" The knocking was a bit more consistent with a beating rhythm like a metronome. Or a clock.

     He let out a sigh, pushing himself out of his bed. He sat on the edge of it, rubbing the tiredness out of his worn face. A permanent frown was buried on his face.

     Bdubs pulled on his clothes, getting up and walking downstairs. He could see Keralis' big eyes peaking in the small window on the door. He huffed a bitter laugh before pulling it open.

     "Hey guys, what's up?" He covered his mouth as he yawned, leaning against the doorway.

     "Is this a bad time or-" Bdubs waved Pearl off with a perfectly placed smile.

     "Nah, I should have been getting up anyways."

     "You sure it's alright, Bubbles? It's already five and you just got up?" Bdubs tried to cover his surprise. Last time he looked at his clock was three hours ago.

     "Yeah, I had a big project and stayed up a bit later than I should have. Nothing to worry about. What are you two here for?" Bdubs already knew, hiding a few clocks in his pockets to quickly give to his friends to shoo them away. "It's not about my clocks, is it?" He asked, his voice laced in mock anger.

     "Actually-"

     "It would be easier to just ask for a bunch than ask for a replacement next time-"

     "We came here to see if you were alright." Bdubs faltered in grabbing the clocks out of his pockets to turn to them.

     "What do you mean?" He asked, looking them over and observing their body language. Keralis seemed a lot more nervous than he usually does and Pearl was trying to remain calm.

     "You haven't been around for awhile and watching your house from my gorgeous window, Bubbles, I haven't seen you leave." Bdubs looked across the water and could see the window he was talking about. It framed his house perfectly in view and Keralis could even be in bed observing it.  "I don't know what you could be busy about for a few days just staying in your house but I originally played it off thinking you were tired from building your mountain."

     An idea formed in his head. "Oh yeah, I was very tired after building the mountain. I needed to do some mining for materials and I have a mine entrance through my basement. I've been collecting materials for my next project." Bdubs urged, watching as the two looked unsure whether or not to believe him.

     "Alright, but you will contact us if anything is wrong, right?" Bdubs nodded his head, grasping at the door ready to close it.

     "Yup, bye Pearl and Keralis!" He waited for a beat after they walked down the path to close the door. His heart was thumping against his ribcage painfully.

     Grimacing, he walked to his chests to check out his materials. Inside, he barely had anything; he was even low on cobblestone. He couldn't lie if they entered into his house and saw that he had fibbed.

     Grabbing a picaxe, he slung it across his shoulder and walked downstairs to the mines.

---

     He had managed to collect materials, enough for him to look busy.

     His bags were filled and there was even some pocket change to buy from candles later. The ones in his room were already burnt out and the wax was dripping everywhere. Bdubs opened a chest and dumped the materials inside, shaking his bag and watching as it fell in. Trying to close it, he found that some of the stone was overflowing. He sighed, he could deal with it another time.

     Walking upstairs to his room, he was about to sling his bag off to get ready for dinner when he heard a cough behind him. Jumping, he turned and saw it was Tango who was sitting in the chair next to his desk.

     "Hey, I was just doing some resource gathering, is there something you need from me?" He asked, putting his bag on the hook and taking his mining shoes off. They were covered in soot and dirt.

     "We need to talk." The demon wasn't amused and his serious face was as much of an indicator as anything.

     Bdubs sat down on his bed and tried not to let his anxiety bubble out. He had no clue what his friend wanted to talk about or needed.

     "Keralis and Pearl brought it to my attention that you haven't left your house in awhile." Tango was looking at his nails, scraping off dirt as he talked. "They told me that you were gathering resources so I did some investigating by myself." Tango sat up further, his hands finally stilled agsinst his lap. "Is there a reason why you didn't have that many materials?" Bdubs gulped.

     "Well, I wanted to save space for important materials but I haven't found that many from my past few days of mining." Bdubs let the lie roll across his tongue, knowing it was a little bit believable. Lots of Hermits don't waste their chest space on things like granite or cobble.

     Tango clicked his tongue, "I think you are wrong." He tried to hide the flinch. "Bdubs, I've known you for awhile now and I know, for certain, that you like to build with diorite, granite, and all types of stone. There shouldn't be a reason for you to not have that much." Bduds knew it was true. He did collect all the diorite he could on his last expedition.

     "Is that why you came here? To banter about what materials I collect?" Bdubs let the hurt slide into his voice. It wasn't hard, his pride was being hit with a sledgehammer each time Tango saw through his lies.

     "No, I'm here to ask you what is going on?" Bdubs let his rant come to a full stop. Was it really obvious that he wasn't feeling like himself? Maybe Tango knew and could help him escape this feeling. "Is it something that happened in 3rd Life?" Bdubs realized that Tango had no clue what was going on, only assuming things.

     "No, 3rd Life isn't the problem." He muttered under his breath. He got up, going to the stairs. "Well, I'm going to make myself some dinner so if you could leave, that would be great." Tango sighed and stood up.

     "Look, it would just be easier to explain all of this. You aren't acting like yourself and people are worried about you. I want to help, even if it is just sitting with you as you eat."

     "That's the problem, Tango!" Bdubs turned stopping the demon from talking. "I have no clue what is going on, I don't know how to stop it and I don't want it to continue. I can't stop it and it had started in Season 6, long before 3rd Life." His voice decrecendoed into a whisper. Tango placed his hand on his shoulder.

     "Then let me help you try to understand it." There was a small smile on his face, trying to reassure him that it would be okay.

---

     Bdubs found himself telling Tango while he made and ate his dinner. The demon listened and gave his input at the right times. Over time, Bdubs realized that Keralis and Pearl told Tango to check on him because if it was 3rd Life related, he was the only one to know what it could mean.

     "I'm so lazy, just waiting everything out and laying around all day." Bdubs let out a wet laugh, rubbing his forehead. Tango grabbed his free hand with his own gently.

     "Hey, it's okay. It doesn't sound like laziness at all and if it was, there is nothing wrong with it. Everyone needs a day to vege out sometimes."

     "Then what is this stupid thing I feel? It's so useless and I don't know what to do." His voice was shakey and he was thankful thst Tango ignored it.

     "Have you ever thought that you might have depression?" Bdubs paused his thinking to make way for the new thought.

     "I'm a happy person, I can't be depressed!" He let out a sputter of doubt but Tango looked serious.

     "Bdubs, from what it sounds like, you probably do." Bdubs just sat and listened, trying to comprehend everything. "You can't get up out of bed most days, you have horrible self-doubt that you cover with a prideful nature, anytime you don't know how to feel properly you replace with anger, at this point it is kind of obvious. I'm not a doctor, nor is this an official diagnosis, but I think I'm close to figuring this out. I think you should go see someone about this." Bdubs tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

     "I don't want to, I just want to ignore it and get over it."

     "But you need to. It would be so much better to get a diagnosis from a professional and then find a way to treat it with their help. The most I can do is wake you up in the morning, make sure you care for yourself, and get you to go actually be around your friends." Tango let out a sigh. Bdubs bit his lip in thought.

     "If I go, can you come with?" Tango's smile grew a little bit as he squeezed his hand.

     "I would love to."

---

     The two returned to the server, Bdubs finally with the diagnosis he was after and Tango who was incredibly proud.

     "See? It wasn't so hard to do. Just going and talking about your feelings for awhile." He had his arm around the shorter's shoulders.

     "I still don't feel better though." A frown was settled on his face but Tango flicked his head.

     "Hey, healing isn't a linear line. There are going to be ups and downs and nothing is going to happen immediately. One thing that is for sure though is that I will be with you every step of the way."

     Words: 2,283
Written: Sunday, August 22nd, 2021, 3:43 pm
Edited:
Originally posted: Sunday, August 22nd, 2021, 3:47 pm

Author's note: absolutely bullshitting my way through writing, ive got no clue what im doing lmao. I haven't gotten up at all today so I said screw it and decided to translate it into bdubs except i dont have depression lmao. Absolutely in no way is this advice this is just something i wrote in the span of like 50 minutes no research done whatsoever. Idk what this is sorry