{ Hiya y'all I'm back , this was a remake of a hanahaki fic I did way back called memories ,it was originally , Bdoc+Grian but I've changed the ship to Scar/Bdubs/Grian ,I was really feeling the bdoc+Grian ship ,I still love it ,but wasn't feeling it ^^

Now I do love this fic ,kinda proud how this turned out ,it's both a song fic and angst fic ,now there will be a part 2 ,coming out soon

Now I blame this angst on XxMystro_M00nxX & CWellerman they got me in the angsty mood ,

Anyway

Warnings!: Implied perma death ,death , hanahaki ,coughing up flowers and blood implied ,blood ,implied stabbing ,torture ,mental and physical abuse ,Mentions of Evo and Yandere highschool, mentions of Sam (if I missed anything let me know), more mentions of death

Ships: formerly Taurtis/Grian , scar/Bdubs , unrequited Scar/Bdubs/Grian (is it unrequited hmmmm)

Genre: Angst//Song fic

Song: You are my sunshine

Now as I say yes there will be a part two ,coming out after I go through the other fics I got to write ^^

Anyway hope y'all enjoy this ,have a good day/night <3}

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Grian sighed softly to himself, as he twirls the flower buds between his fingers, he rested his head against the floor of his starter base, he could feel exhaustion overcome him, he allowed his eyes to close for a bit, as he took a shaky deep breath, he felt himself smile as memories came rushing through his mind.

The first memory to come to mind was when he was much younger, he was around maybe 5, when he first met his best friend, Taurtis, Grian was much shyer back then, his mother had to force him to interact with others, what honestly Grian was thankful for that push, because of that, he met Taurtis, Taurtis was a laid back, energetic kid.

The first time the two of them interacted was when Grian was in the corner , upset, he was originally using the building blocks, but a group of older kids destroyed his builds, making the younger upset, at first when the black haired male came up to him, Grian was nervous and afraid that the other would bully him too, but instead, Taurtis sat next to, humming a soft tune, helping Grian rebuild his structures and trying his best to comfort him,.

Grian could feel tears spring to his eyes, as he remembers that day, he still vaguely remembers that soft tune, he remembers Taurtis saying, it was a song his own mother sang to comfort him, when he was sad, Grian smile widens as another memory came to mind, that and the familiar tune.

The other night dear, as i lay sleeping
I dreamed i held you in my arms
But when i awoke, dear, i was mistaken
So i hung my head and i cried

The second memory that came rushing to his mind, was a memory that made Grian's smile instantly drop, eyes glazing over slightly, he remembers when he got transferred to Yandere highschool, at first he was excited, excited to see taurtis and their mutual friend Sam (who Grian met a month after he had met taurtis), and their new school life was exciting and chaotic, yes there was some downsides, but wasn't any new start at highschool like that, he remembered how much fun he had with them, so many good memories.... So ....yet he cant bring himself to forgive him, the torture he went through at that school, how yuki manipulated Sam, how Sam hurt him and Taurtis, how Sam made him dress up like his best friend, or he'd torture him more.

After awhile Grian couldn't take it, couldn't take the abuse, couldn't take pretending he's someone hes not, he finally gained courage to stand up to Sam, he still remembers the feeling of the knife that pierced his chest, he remembers Sam's evil life, and he annoyingly still has a scar, that will forever remind him of that day.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much
I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

After highschool, Grian remembers waking up in an unfamiliar world, alone, he remembered how disoriented he was and could feel a sharp almost unbearable pain in his chest, what he now realizes he was most likely transported to the world after Sam had killed him, he also realized he wasn't as alone, as he thought, he heard a call from next to him, there were more people here, most likely transported from their own worlds, an unfamiliar symbol laid on the floor, but at the time none of them were phased, they were all eager to meet new friends, how naive they all were back then, they had decided to call this world Evo.

In Evo, is were Grian truly grew, he became more energetic and outgoing, he had become more happier and more outgoing, during this time he also met an offworld friend named Mumbo, Mumbo had become Grian's new best friend, and would get inspiration from Mumbo, but eventually Mumbo had got busy with hermitcraft...of course Grian wasn't alone, he had his friends on Evo...but he couldn't help but miss his former best friend... he missed Taurtis, Taurtis was his other half, and without him, Grian felt alone, even with people surrounding him, so Grian made the summoning platform, it was a little stone platform he made, in his empire.
He places a flower on the platform each day, hoping for something to happen, slowly losing hope each day. He knew his friends likely thought he was insane, but they knew this was his way of grieving.

One day as Grian was going to the platform, he heard a noise, at first he thought he was hearing things, then he heard a muffled yell under the ground, the yell was rather familiar...too familiar, being the curious being he was, he dug up the dirt and felt his heart stop at what he saw, he honestly thought he was seeing things, he couldn't believe it, his best friend was back!

Overwhelmed with emotions Grian hugged his best friend tightly, afraid he'd disappear any moment, he sobbed into Taurtis chest,, Taurtis comforted him, humming that same familiar tune, he remembered staring into Taurtis eyes, seeing nothing but love and happiness in his eyes, he also remembered how soft Taurtis lips felt upon his own, his heart fluttered as Taurtis returned the kiss, and after that things got better, he had amazing friend on Evo, he had Mumbo and he had the love of his life, Taurtis, it almost seemed too good to be true...maybe because it was.

Everything changed, when the watchers came, they took him after they had defeated the ender dragon, they forced him to watch, as they destroyed Evo, he could do nothing but watch, he was always watching, he remembered how his friends would call out for him, not realizing he was already gone.

By the time Grian had broke free of the watchers, he was broken beyond repair, he was more paranoid and less chaotic,, he was also alone again, he had gotten himself trapped, trapped within the void, this time no one was there to hear him scream, or cry,no one was there to save him, he was left there to wilt away

But then a light came through...

I've always loved you and made you happy
And nothing else could come between
But now you've left me to love another
You have shattered all of my dreams

When Grian was taken to Hermitcraft , he was much more secluded and nervous, the only ones to know the true reasons were Mumbo and of course Xisuma, as Xisuma was the one who saved him, those two were the only ones Grian coils trust at the time.
Over time though Grian grew more comfortable on hermitcraft, thanks to the help of Mumbo, he was able to make friends with a few more hermits, but still Mumbo and Iskall were the two he was the closest with, he slowly came out of his shell and acted like he used to, yes the trama was still there but it was more bearable, then the civil war happened, and his chaotic side was back, he also opened up more about himself.

During that time before the civil war Mumbo and Grian made Architect and after the civil war was when Iskall joined, then they were complete, during that time he met Scar...because they were rivals of course! He was a dirty concorp scum !...and the person who became his second love, of course he was more careful this time, due to the fact he still wasn't over Taurtis, so he decided to say nothing, then time passed....weeks turnt to months and then finally, the end of the world happened, the day of them moving world happened and well at the party, is when he met Bdubs, and that's when Grian realized Scar was not his to love, especially with the way Bdubs looks at Scar and the way Scar smiles at Bdubs, Scar was Bdubs to love, and he was okay with that ...really he was!

Yet he couldn't help but have this distaste towards Bdubs, it was truly unfair, it wasn't until Grian got to know Bdubs, was when that distaste turned to love, and that's when Grian realized he was screwed, he was not in love with one but two of his friends, his "rivals", he was in love with the two main members of HEP, and he's a meant to be the leader of the mycelium resistance, he can't be unsolve with mayor and his colleague, but at the same time he couldn't stop himself from falling.

It was during that time when he got sick, at first he thought nothing about it, he thought it was normal to feel choked each time he'd see or think of his crushes, but then he started coughing up petals, white and blue petals to be exact, that's when he started to freak, at first he wasn't sure what this meant, and of course he was too scared to ask someone.

So instead he decided to search, and after a couple days of looking, he found what he was looking for, and he wasn't exactly happy with what he found, it turns out he has hanahaki a disease caused by unrequited love, of course...just his luck, there is a way to cure this but its a way he definitely doesn't like, it's a operation that will clear the his air ways , removes the flowers from within him, but will also remove the the love he had for Bdubs and Scar, and Grian wouldn't let that happen, he'd rather suffocate to death, that was the consequences of not getting the operation.

And that's what led Grian to the current position he was in now, he was laid on the floor of his starter houses bathroom, blood and flowers surrounded him, there was blood in the corner of his mouth, his eyes were glazed with unshed tears, all over the room laid fully grown Lilies and Orchids, no longer just petals, coughing up fully grown flower buds hurt more than the petals, but despite that, they still looked beautiful , as they represented the flowers both Bdubs and Scar loved, and because of that, he also loved them, even if it was killing him, it'd be a poetic way to die, killed by the thing the one he loves, loves...also a sad way to go.

Grian let out a chuckle at that, finally letting the tears roll free, he sobbed as he could feel his body slowly shut down, he knows his time is running out, he's done this before, the only difference is, he knows he won't respawn, diseases like this pretty much cause perma death, and to be honest he was glad, he would rather die than live in a world without loving Bdubs and Scar, he's just glad Scar and Bdubs are happy together.

Before he drifted off into endless sleep, Grian swore he could hear footsteps rush into his base, he could also faintly hear someone call his name...it wasn't just one person , no there was maybe 3 or 4 people, he wasn't sure, it didn't matter anymore, he melted as he felt the hands on his shoulder, he felt a smile grace his lips, as they tried to wake him...but didn't they know it was two late, he was gone, he was going to see Taurtis again, Grian finally drifts off, he was finally at peace, after all he's been through he can finally rest...

His heart clenched as he hears that familiar comforting tune, and he can't help but hum along

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much
I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.

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