Hypno and xB are criminally underrated and in this essay i will-

-xB is a shapeshifter, well kinda, he can give himself different animal parts (fish tail, wings, etc) or straight up turn into an animal but no inanimate objects

-im trusting you guys to not make this dirty ಠ_ಠ

-but yes Impulse does make a joke about how "i guess you don't have to try and compensate for anything huh?"

-im leaning towards aro xB but also my brain says he needs to be boyfriends with Hypno so like ????? im at a crossroads someone help

-also the aro flag works well with xB's color palette goddamn it-

-okay i have a thing where i tend to always take note and notice different lightings and shading in rooms, especially when the lighting/shading suddenly shifts, and with Scar being the local artist and photographer how could i not project that onto him?

-Ren and Scar casually breaking out into Disney songs

-actually fuck it, Ren and Scar just hanging out is criminally underrated mainly because imagine all the shit they would get up to? karaoke, movie nights, baking (or atleast Ren trying not to blow up the kitchen), the list goes on like damn

-my brain: evil Zed
me: what no-
my brain: e v i l   Z e d -

-i see those calm Impulse headcanons or tired dad Impulse headcanons and all i can say is bold of you to assume he doesn't have the same humor as Tango and Zed

-a lot of people (mainly smut writers hgfjkdsfhgkd) have made touch-starved xB a thing and im like that's adorable but also im pretty sure that man's just an introvert (if you get touch-starved easily i doubt you'd build your base basically on another server smh)

-"I'll Be Complete," by Blixemi is literally the perfect song for Scar?? like, it's originally made for Briarlight, a cat who's entire character was about having her back legs paralyzed and having to work around that and also the theme of the song ties in with nature and seasons and Scar is known for his terraforming and just??? it really works

-listen to it im begging you ;-;

https://youtu.be/G6__llZtLW8

-i know nothing about Beef except that he looks like a barbecue dad someone help me-

-also xB and Joe sound kinda similar to imagine them being bastards and swapping looks for the day to trick everyone (and Joe either has to stumble around blindly without his glasses or shove plastic in his eyes)

- s l e e p o v e r

-*points to Wels* this man is a cryptic

-i feel like Mumbo, Etho, and xB are like the only introverts on hermitcraft hfjgdkskjkhfgj (unless you count Joe but i feel like he's more just quiet than people-avoiding)

-i wanna write something for a Sanders Sides AU damnit

-what if i made a classic mutants AU 👀

-ya i don't see a lot of classic AUs for hermitcraft which is really interesting, don't see many mainstream wolf AUs (technically ABO just not sexual), mutant children get taken away to a facility and try to escape AUs, usually children but sometimes its adults get taken by a secret facility that gives them powers AUs, insane asylum except its usually just people with anorexia and depression which definitely aren't insane asylum deserving but alright AUs, etc

-xB assassin AU, the real reason he lives so far away 👀

-WHY AREN'T THERE MORE 'SOMEONE GETS TURNED INTO A CHILD AND NOW THEIR FRIENDS HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEIR BULLSHIT' AUS????

-evil zed evil zed eVIL ZED EVIL ZED-

-whenever i see someone

-Hypno gives me cryptic man vibes but also naive but meaning well man vibes 🤔

-list of hermits feral enough to wear either flip flops or crocs with socks (either one): Etho, Impulse, Keralis, xB, Zed, Tango, Joe, Cub

-yes i know Doc canonically wears crocs but i aint putting him in fucking socks

-*points to team ZIT* your vibes sirs, they're positively atrocious

-i love how so many Hypno designs look nothing like his actual skinhjfdksljfkjgds

-someone: *says jelly in any context that implies eating it*
Scar: *visible fear*

-dare i design a sibling for Jellie named Peanut? 👀

-i wanted to do the Ask Hermits thing and now my brain's like "how about no?" ;-;

-bruh i should do some incorrect quotes

-i shouldn't be starting more projects i already have like 7 hjfkwljhfgjdkjskfjkg

brb gonna binge some old Sky Media and Team Crafted fanfics with some classic AUs ;-;