so basically, this is kinda if hermitcraft was like a live-action tv series and EX is the director and they had a behind the scenes (no im not writing in first person i will perish before i do that) it's gonna work like EX is the director and is working for Hermitcraft, a separate company that's paid him to make a movie (like the whole Marvel and Sony rights thing)

also i will addressing the hermits as their real names (er well, when im addressing them as actors) so uh please welcome in mcfucking Charles and goddamn Oliver-

   ~*~

"Do I really have to do this again?" Charles whined as two costume designers put on his faux parrot wings. He sneezed as a bit of the fake feathers brushed right against his nose.

EX sighed and facepalmed for about the 4th time that morning. "Yes Charles, you have to wear them, Grian still needs wings."

Charles groaned, shifting uncomfortably as the cold harness pressed against his skin. "But c'mon! Can't you just like, photoshop it in? You do it all the time with X-i-zooma's admin panel thingys!"

"Charles do you even understand how long it would take to edit in wings on every. Single. One of the frames you're in?" EX deadpanned to which Charles shrugged.

"I've edited stuff before, it wouldn't take that long-"

"CHARLES YOU'RE IN OVER HALF OF THE FUCKING FRAMES, IT WOULD TAKE 7 YEARS-"

The door creaked open to the studio and the two sneak in, their small flashlight on, and shut the door as quietly as they could. The instant it clicked closed, all the lights instantly shot on, revealing EX standing at a door on the other side of the room in a hoodie.

"Hey you two," he greeted, a wiry smile on his face. "It's fucking midnight, why're you here?"

Cub glanced down at Ryan, who nervously brushing back a piece of his messy brown hair. "I just uh, forgot my phone and I asked Ryan to give me a ride here."

EX raised an eyebrow curiously, crossing his arms. "Gave you a ride in your car?" he countered, smirking as their eyes grew wide with panic. "Yeah I can tell, Ryan's car is like 20x quieter."

"I got it fixed up...?" Cub said, awkwardly grinning.

"Uh huh." EX rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Whatever, do what you will as long as you don't fuck with me." The last word had a poisonous undertone, hinting at a threat, that left the pair shaken as he walked back into his small office.

"Oh also please don't break anything," he called from behind the door. "Lights are expensive ya know."

Ryan snickered. "Yup, sure thing!"

"So EX~" Warren said, sidling up next to the 5'4 director. "Is it true?"

"Damn you're being real specific," he replied sarcastically, not looking up from his phone. "Speak a little more why don't cha?"

"He means the whole 'new actors joining' gig," Viktor butted in, smirking as Warren pouted and crossed his arms. "Is it true?"

He looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes. "Who the fuck'd you hear that?" he asked. "Because I've gotta go kill whoever it was."

"You're gonna kill me?!" Kris squeaked from behind the dressing room door.

"HELL YEAH I AM!" EX yelled, throwing his phone back on the desk and stomping towards him. "HOW THE FUCK'D YOU FIND OUT?!"

"Charles told me!" Kris exclaimed, cracking a smile and pointing towards the lounge.

EX groaned and held his head in his hands. "Of course it was fucking him, I shouldn't even be surprised at this point"

"Welcome to the team guys," EX greeted, smiling slightly at the two latecomers. "I'm EX.  You guys are John and uh, sorry but how do you pronounce your name?"

"Arek," he replied, smiling warmly back. "It's nice to meet you."

"Has the studio gotten bigger?" John asked, glancing around the giant room with his hands behind his head. "Swear it has."

"Yo dude!" Steffen exclaimed, waving from the door of the lounge with a beer can in his hand. "Welcome back! It's been a while!"

"Hey Steffen!" John yelled back, already walking over. "We've got some catching up to do!"

EX chuckled, rolling his eyes at the two. "Course they'd go straight for a little nHo reunion." he glanced up at Arek who was looking around the studio with wide eyes. "Anybody you wanna meet up with before we gotta record?"

He glanced down at him with a cheeky grin. "Is Shashwamy here?"

*camera clicks on to show a group of seemingly struggling actors*

Charles: "Is this thing on?"

Oliver: "Yeah, look at the button-" *camera falls off the tripod*

Steffen: "Oh s***!"

Natalie: "Language!"

Viktor: "Goddamn it Oli!"

Cole: "Hands off guys, I got it."

*shifting noises as the camera is lifted back up, this time properly balancing and not slowly falling; a bunch of hermits are sitting in chairs and are wearing casual clothes, minus Xisuma who has his usual helmet on*

Xisuma: *waves* "Hey guys! We thought we'd do a little behind-the-scenes interview about what it's like working on set!"

Viktor: "X we should probably introduce who we are. Some of us don't exactly look like our characters." *glances at Mumbo*

Xisuma: "That's fair. Well to start off, I'm one of the actors in Hermitcraft and I play Xisumavoid er, I guess just Xisuma."

Warren: "Wow you're really going for this whole anonymous persona thing huh? Well I'm Warren Smithers and I play Ren diggity dog! The most handsome and charming character on the show." *flashes a grin at the camera*

Viktor, rolling his eyes: "Clearly. I'm Viktor and I play Iskall85! The swedish hottie of the server." *flips his non-existent long hair*

EX, off camera: "STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CAMERA"

*everyone bursts into laughter and Charles nearly falls out of his chair*

Natalie, still giggling slightly: "I'm Natalie! I play Stressmonster, former Ice Queen now turned Jungle Queen!" *she puts her hand, palm down, under her chin in an elegant gesture*

Cole: "Hi, I'm Cole also known as Welsknight! You might not have seen me in season 7 but I will be joining soon enough!"

Steffen: "I'm Steffen and I play the almighty Goat Father! Or uh, just Docm77." *chuckles*

Ryan, waving from his wheelchair: "Hi! I'm Ryan, the actor for Goodtimeswithscar, or just Scarrrr!" *does his usual pirate-esque pronunciation of his name*

Kris: "I'm Kris! I play Zedaph, known simply as Zed! Or Worm Man." *winks*

Oliver: "Heya! I'm Oliver and I play Mumbo Jumbo, the redstone whiz!"

Charles, smirking: "Nerd. Anyways, I'm Charles! I'm the famous Grian, Poultry Man, Jungle Bandit, and many more!" *ignores the (exaggerated) offended gasp from Oliver*

Xisuma: "Calm down Mr. Famous, you're only 1 man not 70."

Charles: *shrugs* "Well maybe I'm just that good of an actor Mr. X-i-zooma."

Viktor, covering his mouth like he's talking into a walkie talkie: "Presidential alert, the girls are fighting."

   ~*~

(hjfskdfhgksd i couldn't think of a good way to end it sorry)

me: you should draw references for all 24 hermits plus EX, Python, and Wels

also me: th-that's 27 drawing tho, and i have 2 other art projects i need to finish that have deadlines-

me: d o  i t