Author's note
The following is a formal statement released by 'AC :3' concerning the most recent, unorthodox and frankly impossible event that occurred upon the Hermitcraft server, following a log of documented happenings that were left to snowball into catastrophe:

You owe me dinner.

(Also known as: Hermits Lose Their Collective Minds, ft. Child That Shouldn't Have That Much Power)

———

AC :3 has added BDubs, Doc, Etho and 21 others to the groupchat!

AC :3 has renamed the groupchat to 'Plan A'!

AC: Ok. Capitalists. Poor people. Slaves. I have gathered you all today for a very important reason.

Xisuma: Which is?

AC: ... Hmmm... I was going to tell you straight but. Nah. Every wrong guess = a name changed.

Cleo: 'Straight'

Hypno: What if we don't guess anything?

AC :3 has renamed 'Hypno' to 'Example'!

Example: Hey!

Keralis: You want to do the sneaky-sneaking?

AC :3 has renamed 'Keralis' to 'Maybe'!

Maybe: Ooo!

Example: What? How is that fair!

XB: LOL

AC :3 has renamed 'XB' to 'this is going nowhere'

this is going nowhere: Right good point.

Doc: ... The date?

AC: We are getting somewhere!!

Gem: It's almost Pride!

AC: WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE.

Jevin: Pride... Celebration...?

AC :3 has renamed 'Jevin' to 'Close enough'

Close enough: Why

AC: You are close enough!

Close enough: That's what X said when he let Mumbo on the server.

Mumbo: Harsh, but fair.

Iskall: I thought the names were a pretty obvious system of clues.

Mumbo: Same.

AC: Yeah but not to Jev apparently-

Pearl: So you want to do something about Pride?

Cleo: X banned rainbow lasers but he didn't ban lightning bolts :)

Doc: I got you.

Cleo: Yes Doc! See, this is why you're my favourite NHO member :)

Etho: Ok Cleo.

Beef: Is that all it takes?

Cleo: Yeah.

AC :3 has renamed 'Example' to 'Hypno'!

AC: Yeah. No. Sorta. I would love that, but it wasn't what I meant!

BDubs: Was it what anyone meant?

Cleo: Yes.

BDubs: Except Cleo?

Hypno: Yes.

AC: At first, I was hoping for like a wedding or something, but apparently that's 'rushing things'.

Tango: Oh geez, who knew?

Zed: NOT YOUR MUM

Tango: Not my mNPIPUOIOOJZED I EANYED TO DAY THAY-

Zed: DENIED

Zed: NEXT TIME TYPE FASTER, YOU SLOW-TYPER >:)

Gem: ?

Zed: Look, he put me on the spot!

Tango: NOOOOOOO :(

AC :3 has renamed 'Maybe' to 'Keralis'!

Cleo: FYI, gatecrashing a wedding is on my bucket list, soooooooooooo

Joe: It's true: I've seen it.

Xisuma: Isn't a bucket list for things you want to do before you die?

Cleo: I mean, technically, I haven't died yet. I skipped that stage. Zombie stuff.

Zed: Seems legit.

False: I'd be down.

Ren: This feels illegal

Impulse: A bit like walking into a shop and not buying anything, but this time, actually illegal.

Wels: Somehow, I feel like I will be outvoted either way.

AC :3 has renamed 'this is going nowhere' to 'XB'!

AC :3 has renamed 'Close enough' to 'Jevin'!

Xisuma: Help

Beef: What? Why? Are you ok?

Xisuma: Yes but maybe no

AC: I leave for two seconds??

AC: Wait huh-

AC: Wait what what I'm not supposed to be the responsible one here??

AC: Mompulse, I choose you:

Impulse: Um what-

AC :3 has renamed 'Impulse' to 'MOMPULSE'!

MOMPULSE: What-

Zed: Mompulse!

Pearl: Mompulse!

BDubs: Mompulse??

Etho: Appropriate.

MOMPULSE: Why am I the mom?!

Joe: I was under the impression that Xisuma was 'mom'.

AC: He is. But he's Admin Mom. This is Mompulse.

Joe: Ah, I see.

MOMPULSE: Hello??

Stress: Sorry luvs, wot we doing here?

AC: I am once again asking for your motherly support.

Stress: Um ok :P

Stress: Guys we got a somefink happening XD

Tango: Sup Stress?

AC: Man.

False: I disagree.

Zed: I'll take him if you don't want to :)?

AC: Ok so basically, the second best thing to do to celebrate would be doing one of the things I've always wanted to do but didn't have a chance to until now. Take out the enderdragon.

Gem: Which sort? Like going somewhere pretty or assassination?

Keralis: Lesbians of the wild, grant me your wisdom...

Beef: But it's not Valentine's.

Etho: But it is June.

Beef: I guess so.

Grian: Ah yes, the gayest of all months.

Joe: What about Halloween?

Ren: October is when the spooky gays come out to play. Plays. Dang it :P

Mumbo: It was a good effort!

Zed: They've been BIRTHED.

Doc: No.

AC: What no I've already gone on a date with the actual Gene (it was very fun)?? I meant like assassinate one of the clone ones. Then someone pays me for it.

AC: Preferably with like. Food. But I'll take hard cash and some of your time as well :3!

Mumbo: Sorry what.

Mumbo: What.

Mumbo: What.

Mumbo: Why am I the only one baffled by this what in the Fae-

False: You're not, we're just trying to process it first...

BDubs: I swear Scar would NEVER let you do that...

Xisuma: Nor Cub if he found out. But I see neither of them are in this groupchat?

Beef: We have brilliant powers of observation!

AC: Yes. Any other questions?

XB: Why would we need to pay you?

AC: I like money and materialistic wealth :3. Also I would technically be doing y'all a free service in this particular assassination.

XB: Well, I can respect that at least?

Grian: You're joking. There's no way you're serious.

MOMPULSE: I technically have been given the authority to stop this at any time.

AC: But wouldn't you want to see how badly I fail?

MOMPULSE: No?

AC: *But wouldn't you want to see how greatly I succeed?

Wels: I see you're playing both sides.

MOMPULSE: Actually I play every side :)

Grian: Ayyyyy nice one Mompulse!

MOMPULSE: This title is both a curse and a blessing.

Doc: Ha. Sounds fun. I want to see this happen :)

Stress: Doc >:(!

Doc: AC this is very irresponsible you could get into a lot of trouble.

Iskall: Lol but true tho.

AC: But it's too late. Now I have evidence you guys knew beforehand and didn't try to stop me. Daddy would kill (most of) you regardless of my progress or amount of received help :3

Tango: ... YOU-

Pearl: I'm grabbing popcorn!

Etho: Oh snappers!

Jevin: We could show him you were the one who suggested it. And this message.

AC: Yeah but I'm a small child who doesn't know any better. Also you've heard me suggest worse and not act upon it.

AC: And you technically don't have to help me, though it'd be nice if you did, since you are being forced to keep this a secret.

AC: Something that's not enforced by me, no, I'm just your friendly, unthreatening little neighbourhood kid, but... Yeah, you could say you don't have a choice. So this is a forced silencing UwU.

XB: Ladies, gents and people with dignity, I think we've just been bamboozled.

———

There were many things wrong with a child wanting to defeat one of the most powerful beings in the Minecraft universe.

First of which was the fact that said child could barely lift an iron sword, unless for comedic purposes.

Second of which was that fact said child also couldn't fly, and the ender dragon happened to do a lot of flying, which meant chasing after it on foot was rather useless. Especially since, after the edges of the spawn-End island reached out as far as they did into the dark abyss, there was nothing but void in every remaining direction.

All of this, and much else, surmounted to a considerable list of reasons why this would've been a really bad idea.

However, AC happened to have become particularly interested in the possibility of achievement for a few too many seconds. As such, they had already become attached, and being attached meant they were already in too deep to give up now (even if, by all accounts, they hadn't technically started anything yet).

Therefore, that was what lead the child on their merry way to prepare for such a battle.

For whilst they knew traditional, or even popularly unconventional, methods of combat would not suffice to reach their goal, that didn't necessarily mean their goal was impossible.

All AC had to do now was find out how to make that lie into a truth.

Thus began the venture to answer the age old question of all golden-eyed fools: 'how can I make this even more stupider?'

———

Pearl: Is this a common occurrence?

Xisuma: Which part?

Pearl: Being blackmailed by small children?

Xisuma: Sometimes.

Jevin: No.

TFC: Haha

Keralis: Yes :)

Pearl: You had one job XD

AC: I could offer extra incentive to help, alongside with keeping the secret :3?

Stress: Wot bout somefink gorgeous :D

Etho: I want an IOU.

BDubs: What do you have?

Wels: My feathers...

BDubs: *What do you -AC- have?

Wels: No I meant that I want my feathers back! Not offering more!

AC: DONE, absolutely not, a lot of stuff, it depends.

Etho: Aw man.

Wels: Depends on what...?

Stress: YESSSS

AC: Whether Jellie wants to let them go or not!

Wels: Never mind.

BDubs: I don't want to ask for too much.

AC: BDubs I can bend reality to my will and I have literally died for you.

BDubs: WHAT??

AC :3 has deleted (1) message!

AC: BDubs you could never burden me :3!

BDubs: SORRY WHAT WAS THAT?

TFC: nods.

Doc: You need better hearing.

BDubs: THIS IS A TEXT-BASED CONVERSATION!!

Cleo: BDubs! Calm! Noooo! Calm BDubs! You'll get there eventually!

BDubs: I hate all of you.

Keralis: :(

BDubs: Not you.

Keralis: :)

Grian: :o

Etho: AH my TEeth

Keralis: Ummm, Etho? I thiiink Bubbles is not happy...

Etho: :)

AC: To be fair. It would be worse if Papa was here.

Jevin: Oh dang Cub and Scar aren't even on here.

Hypno: How did you not notice? That was established so long ago.

Jevin: Shut up.

Hypno: No.

Mumbo: Oh I didn't know that.

Jevin:

Hypno:

Beef: I take back what I said before about our observational skills.

MOMPULSE: Maybe they're not that bad...

Ren: :0

Zed: You say that, but...

MOMPULSE: Also can I have my name changed back?

AC: No Ɛ>

Grian: How did you even type that?? What??

False: :0

Xisuma: <<

Xisuma: Never mind that wasn't it.

———

If there was ever a time to ruin a carefully structured plan, Etho thought, now would be it.

The redstoner pondered upon these thoughts for a while.

There was nothing wrong with a bit of chaos- that much, he could attest to. There was nothing wrong with a bit of chaos, yet a bit of chaos often had the tendency to become a lot of chaos. A slippery slope of incidental chaos; a travesty of goodwill.

Etho knew, just as the other hermits could guess, that this destyjimton of the literal child in their server could have frankly catastrophic events. He knew, perhaps better than his servermates, that it would be AC's choice of method instead of the actual ender dragon herself that would pose the greatest induction of chaos.

So when he spotted the young child rifling through his and Iskall's shared storage chests for Devs-know-what, he probably should've stopped them.

"Hey kid. What are you looking for?"

AC closed the chest in front of them with a bright smile. "You don't happen to have several stacks of spider eyes and rotten flesh, do you?"

Etho let his eyes wander the room for a few seconds, scanning the gathered chests. After a moment or two, he found what he was searching for and stared intently at a chest a few rows away.

"I didn't say a word." The ninja clarified, raising an eyebrow at the 'Doc' now rummaging through his chests.

"No, no you didn't." 'Doc' agreed, taking what he needed. Once done, he saluted the other -who had yet to move from his casual lean against the doorway- in thanks.

AC left the room and Etho watched them leave.

New messages were pinging in the Plan A groupchat; once more, he wondered exactly what that 'plan' was, and how he would explain to Iskall why a large number of their mob drops had lagged to a few diamonds.

———

Etho: No Ɛ>

Tango: HEY

Tango: No Ɛ> oj the jerik totakky copied ahd pastedf

Joe: This is why Etho is the 'copy ninja'.

Etho: No Ɛ>

AC: Y'all are gonna get me copyrighted :<

Doc: Not if I copyright the copyrighters first.

False: Oo, are we going undercover?

Tango: Codeword is bananas!

Mumbo: a

Cleo: CALLED OUT. Tango, gimme five!

XB: Poor Mumbo...

Stress: Aw look at is face!!

Iskall: No! He totally deserves this.

Tango: High five Cleo :D

Zed: It was K.

Keralis: Yes?

Etho: No Ɛ>

Ren: Most inglorious is victorious?

AC: ... HOW DID WE GET HERE?

False: Achievement gained!

Cleo: Now get the other... Something hundred!

Ren: Whoops, we are very easily distracted!

BDubs: To be fair, it was a very entertaining date.

Pearl: Nooo I'm running out of popcorn :(

MOMPULSE: I'll get you some more Pearl! :)

Pearl: Thanks mom :)

MOMPULSE: :/

Mumbo: I am the epitome of staying on track, dunno about you.

Keralis: What were we even talking about...?

BDubs: The date?

Keralis: Sure, pick me up at 2 tomorrow <3

BDubs:

Mumbo: OH!

Wels: Should we set up a plan?

Stress: Ow we gonna do that?

MOMPULSE: I agree with Stress. Since we can't stop AC, we can at least make sure Cub and Scar don't kill us too much.

Jevin: Aren't they gonna do that regardless?

Gem: No no, if we can get perfectly between 'didn't do anything' and 'actively pushed for the event', into total neutrality, maybe they'll be less scary!

Hypno: Where did you learn that? When? You're totally right btw.

Gem: Demon.

Tango: Hello?

Gem: Oh! No, I mean the weird Scottish-sounding one!

Ren: Please no Major slander! MCC is fun and I don't want him to ban me! :(

Gem: I don't mean Scott D:!! I mean his- actually never mind...

Ren: Are you ignoring your problems and hoping they'll disappear?

Gem: A classic :)

Grian: Look guys Scar is really not that scary.

False: Protective Dad Scar is.

MOMPULSE: Cub has a threatening aura always.

Zed: Get Scar out of the picture first, then help the baby but not too much?

Hypno: That makes it sound like you're going to kill him. Or his child... But I would like to think we're nice hermits that are above murdering children.

Pearl: Zombie babies?

Mumbo: Have you ever played around with villagers?

Zed: Yeah I was going to mention that.

Hypno: ... Touché, continue?

Iskall: So a dead Scar is a necessary component?

Cleo: Dead Scar yes.

Beef: Guys Scar just died??

Grian: OH SHOOT WE KILLED HIM

Joe: Main chat. We have indeed collectively manifested a fast end to his life.

Mumbo: SCATTER

TFC: I think I'll stay here and watch the chaos unfold.

Cleo: Fair.

———

Scar sighed, dusting off the sheets of his recently placed bed. Oh well. Hopefully, if he could make it back in time, his items would still be there.

As he sprinted, he spotted Grian and Pearl in hushed conversation around the Boatem pole/ hole. For some reason, Pearl also seemed to be enjoying a freshly prepared tub of buttered popcorn.

Scar grinned. "Hi Grian! Pearl! How are yo-"

"AAAAA-"

"SORRY SCAR-"

A flurry of firework sparkles and a well-timed duck later, the rest of Scar's brain had somewhat recovered from the offensively large particles. When he could see again, the two hermits were vanishing into the horizon, both skedaddling off in opposite directions.

"... What...?" Perhaps there was some kind of inside joke he wasn't getting. It wouldn't be the first time, and he chuckled fondly upon the memories.

...

Wait, wasn't he supposed to be getting something else?

"... Oh shoot, my stuff- nOoo-!"

And thus, Scar dashed off again, the strange encounter already leaving his mind.

———

Xisuma: ... Is everyone ok?

Xisuma: From his messages on the main chat, Scar was very confused when everyone in the immediate vicinity started running away.

Xisuma: Hello?

Xisuma: ?

Doc: I had nothing to do with this.

Xisuma: Doc, is everyone ok?

Doc: Erm. I think so? Aside from a few screams in this chat, you didn't miss much.

Xisuma: Gotcha. You... Don't think they've done something bad, do you?

Doc: Wouldn't put it past them.

Xisuma: ... True...

Xisuma: Um

Doc: What's up?

Xisuma: ... Doc, I might have an idea to

Etho: Help I'm stuck in a gole

Zed: You better not be in my cauldrons!

Etho: No I'm in a hold

Etho: Hold

BDubs: He does have snow white hair though!

Etho: HOLE

Stress: Where r u Etho?

Etho: Hold

Ren: Snow White :D

Etho: HOLD

Etho: HOLE

Etho: H O L E.

AC: Guys I think he's either in a hole...

Etho: ^^

AC: Or being held against his will.

Etho: :(

Mumbo: Nether maybe? A ghast blew up there and there might be a hole or two leftover.

Zed: Nope, that's where me and Tango are.

Tango: Can confirm. No Ethos, unless he's invisible and ninjaficated in here.

Zed: Can also confirm there's not much room so unless he's shrunk, or is now blond and also smells like fire, Etho is definitely not here.

Tango: Says the guy who smells like science :)

Zed: Why thank you I try my best :D

Grian: ETHO WHERE ARE YOU

MOMPULSE: Why are you two having a text-based conversation while you're right next to one another?

Tango: The world needs to know about our greatness Impy :)

Zed: What he said but British.

Tango: Also we don't want to miss out on this.

MOMPULSE: Oh ok :)

XB: If he's in my base, no he's not.

Cleo: The worm would've got him first.

XB: True.

Beef: Eeeethoooooooo?

Iskall: ... HOW.

Jevin: ?

Iskall: Nope you're getting out of this one yourself, this is so funny.

Mumbo: Is he in your base? Or his base... Both your bases?

Mumbo: At your house?

Mumbo: Which is also his house?

Keralis: Oh my Devs they were roommates :0

Hypno: All of a sudden I have a very bad feeling about this.

Cleo: My chaos senses are tingling.

Joe: My dad senses suspect withholding of information.

Ren: Hold on, let me check :D

MOMPULSE: Etho, where you at, buddy?

Stress: ... Erm guys wy is Etho in a face??

Etho: Aw thanks :)

Stress: No u plonker! He's in a FACE!

MOMPULSE: ... What?

Stress: It's a big face! Wif copper n stuff! It's changing faces like

Stress: :)

Stress: :(

Stress: oMo

Stress: :[

Stress: :{

Wels: ... What sorcery is this?

Grian: Copper? Sorcery? Etho?? Sounds like redstone magic.

Stress: Yeh I fink that's it!

Grian: OH I'M A GENIUS

Iskall: Etho made a copper face that changes face. It's very cool

Iskall: And so then. He thought

Grian: CALL ME THE NEXT MUMBO JUMBO

Iskall: Excuse you? I am talking right now? Shush?

Grian: Very sorry Iskall please carry on

Iskall: Thank you :) so he thought

Iskall: 'This would be a good hiding spot!'

Beef: Tell me he didn't...

Iskall: SO

False: He did.

Iskall: He hid in there. And then he discovered he hit one of the tapes and some pistons fired incorrectly

Iskall: Aaaand now he's stuck.

Mumbo: Good heavens.

Joe: Does this coppery face have a name by which we may call it?

Stress: ... Erm

Stress: Dunno sorry :(...

Doc: Fair.

Stress: But Iskall's not gonna help at any rate! Etho, get out th face!

Etho: Can't.

Stress: Why not?!

Etho: Stuck in hole.

Stress: How!!

Pearl: Yeah, I thought he was just stuck in the pistons?

Etho: You probably won't want to know. Sorry Stress, Pearl...

Joe: Etho is the face of the new update.

BDubs: That's an insult to the update.

Iskall: LOL

Etho: Only for you (:

Stress: Etho!!

Etho: Sorry

Iskall: LOLHRHUTSOMETGUNVABDITGITWORSEJOWTHEFACEISCHABGINGWITHHIMINIR

Cleo: You what??

Joe: I would assume they said 'lol, he hit something and it got worse, now the face is changing with him in it', with 'he' referring to Etho and 'it got worse' being the situation surrounding Etho's current predicament, but I cannot be sure unless this theory is confirmed by either Iskall, Stress or Etho.

Ren: I can confirm this.

Joe: What are your credentials?

Ren: Erm. I'm with them too? :D

Joe: That also works.

Etho: I feel like a museum exhibit.

Tango: COME ONE AND ALL TO SEE THE AMAZING ETHO IN A FACE!

Beef: A work of art?

Etho:

Etho: No

Etho: Masterpiece.

———

"Erm... As funny as this is, my dudes, shouldn't we actually help him?" Ren asked, a bright smile upon the werewolf's face. He tilted his head in a way the others could only describe as adorable; Iskall nearly answered before even knowing what to answer.

Thankfully, another wave of infectious laughter bubbled forth instead, saving the Swede from a retort not-yet-finished.

With a giggle, Stress shrugged in Iskall's place. "I mean... If 'e's really really stuck and it's goin' bad, then yes. I fink Iskall's too busy laughing to let 'im go any sooner though..."

The Etho in the copper face, on the other hand, was less impressed by this turn of events. Though by the easy way his eyes watched his friends' collective amusement at his downright comical predicament, there wasn't any genuine annoyance.

Either way, it gave them all an alibi for when Scar may or may not catch onto what the server's latest shenanigans were.

Fondness creeped into Ren's mind. Such a silly server they were; he'd take the ribbing from Stress and Iskall about being sentimental any day if it simply meant he could spend time with them all.

They probably knew peace wouldn't last that long anyway.

That didn't foreshadow war or anything, it's just a general reminder of everything happening in the background.

Like how AC was currently using the opportunity to steal ('borrow') several weapons of mass destruction.

———

Etho: I am CLEARLY a

Keralis: Giant peacock! With a tail that is a metre long, and he shakes his feathers like so!

False: Maybe he's an alien.

Gem: I think he's a ghost!

Etho: Please help me get out.

Xisuma: Etho, do you need someone to come over?

Iskall: It's ok X we're almost done laughing at him.

Ren: It's fine dude :D

Etho: I think I'm being held hostage at this point. Might have to leave by force.

AC: Called it :3

Iskall: HEY GETBSCK HERE-

Doc: What happened?

Ren: Etho escaped D:

Stress: He made a hole in the face and now it's missin a eye :(

Etho: I'm sorry Stress

Stress: Lol it's ok but pls don't do that next time XD?

Etho: Yes ma'am.

Ren: Where did he go?

Xisuma: Oh he's ohghoisssfhkzgi nowhere.

False: Did X just have a heart attack?

MOMPULSE: X? You ok there buddy?

Xisuma: Etho just stole my communicator.

Jevin: Then how are you typing right now?

Xisuma: I'm not.

Xisuma: That was Etho.

Xisuma: No I'm not.

Mumbo: I haven't been this confused since I first met EX...

False: It's the Spider-Man pointing meme!

Xisuma: I'm the real X!

Xisuma: I'm the real Xisuma!

Beef: I'm Beef.

Joe: I cause problems on accident.

Cleo: You also fix the problems I purposefully cause though, so it balances out.

Tango: We've wanted to reach you about your extended car warranty.

Zed: Watch Etho just die right now.

Xisuma: Oh no

Zed: Aw Devs. His soul rests in pieces.

Mumbo: RIP Etho: 'X-ed, but not Xolotl'.

Tango: Wait what he actually died??

AC :3 has renamed 'Etho' to 'Distraction'!

Distraction: No.

False: I think Tango's freaking out. He's definitely jumping around a lot...

Gem: Ohhh, because Zed predicted the Etho thing?

Zed: Ah yeah, I forgot he'd be excited about that, because it comes with the whole Enderian Seer thing.

Doc: How did YOU forget that?

Zed: It doesn't come up in conversation often!

MOMPULSE: To be fair, it used to, when you and Tango kept me 'hostage'.

Tango: Impyyyy I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore :(

MOMPULSE: Sorry!

Zed: Your mom still sucks though.

Zed: Actually all of your parents do.

Tango: Oh no yeah that's still true.

Zed: Actually no all Tango and Impulse's parents do.

MOMPULSE: Fair enough...

AC: Imagine having a bad mom when you could have TWO great dads ;3

Tango: Imagine :(

Grian: Zed you're an enderman??

Zed: Enderian Seer, technically, but it's basically the same thing. Except I don't always scream when I touch water. I thought this was obvious?

Grian: I didn't know about this!

Zed: Dude the eyes

Grian: Tango has red ones!

Tango: I come from the realm of deathification and fiery badness!

MOMPULSE: I mean, I have weird eyes, and I'm pretty normal.

AC: Ha, only rarely XX.

AC: Aw shoot. You don't know that yet.

AC :3 has deleted (2) messages!

Gem: I have weird eyes!

Grian: That doesn't count- you can tell you're not fully human even without the eyes.

Pearl: I think he means the antlers

Wels: Or the legs and tail?

Gem: Well I guess I've no-eyed deer :)

BDubs: Smooth.

Gem: Thanks, I try my best ;D

Grian: How did I not know about this?!

Mumbo: Well I'm pretty sure you're not the only one?

Cleo: After meeting Joe, I simply learned not to ask.

Joe: I thought something might be awry when I saw dear Zedaph get 'possessed' by 'some ghost I think'.

Jevin: I didn't know.

Wels: I thought your species a myth.

Zed: A good myth?

Wels: Well...

Wels: It depended on the teller, but they often described beautiful cities of royal colour, an endless blackness like a night without stars, and people who belonged to that darkness as much as they belonged to the light, as they did before the beginning of the world.

Zed: I think some of that got mixed up with Void Walkers...

Wels: Ah, I see... It was presumed you were the same creatures but of different forms.

Xisuma: Understandable! We do look pretty similar.

Jevin: It's the eyes man. Always the eyes.

Iskall: What are me and Doc then? Half privileged?

Ren: You're both cool :D

Stress: It's not always your eyes! Like wif me!

Beef: No, not always. You can tell a lot from eyes though.

Joe: They say eyes are the windows to a person's soul.

———

Lighting the final candle, AC took a step back to admire their work. The blue circle stood out starkly against the red floor, though no matter: it was sufficient enough for its intended purpose.

Smoke began rising from the citrus-scented candles when they took the final step; one calling dance and chant later, then the previously twirling tendrils of smoke exploded upwards in a violent spiral. The live silverfish offering at the centre of the circle squeaked in surprise.

From the smoke screen, bright, glowing eyes appeared, like a lighthouse's beam cutting through a cloudy sky. What accompanied it was a voice that shook tremors into the earth- by the lilt of laughter alone, one could identify the signs of its roots.

"Who dares to summon the Vex upon their hour of-"

"Hi Dave."

The smoke dissipated at once, allowing the stumped expression on the deity's face to be fully appreciated.

"... What did you just call me?"

"Dave. D-A-V-E. I can't think of a better nickname right now." AC shrugged. They looked more interested in the scented candles, honestly, having started to put out their burning wicks.

"... Why Dave...?" Dhavei murmured, their utterly defeated tone contrasting the whole 'almighty Vex deity' schtick. Unfortunately, small children with strange names don't have much tolerance for judging social cues.

"I'll call you Dhavei again if you help me enchant this sword."

They didn't even need to lay down such an offer. Dhavei would've helped either way, and they both knew it. Yet still, their exasperation was fun to watch develop: Dhavei nodded, gloomily, and the deal was made.

———

Doc: Luckily, I have only one eye.

Iskall: Omegalol me too.

Mumbo: So do we see half a soul then? Do you even have a soul??

Doc: Ouch.

Mumbo: Oh wait no Doc I didn't mean it like that

Iskall: Oof.

Mumbo: Cry about it.

Grian: MUMBO?

Mumbo: Oh wait you can only do that from one eye.

Iskall: Like your robot son can?

Grian: WHAT

Mumbo: HEY

XB: This might as well happen.

Iskall: AHA

Grian: Mom I'm scared pick me up-

Stress: Lol ok XP

Grian: Other mom I also would like bragging rights?

MOMPULSE: You're cool G :)

Grian: Other other mom I would also

Xisuma: Grian!

Grian: DAD

Keralis: oh! Oh Brian :)? Yes?

BDubs: Why do you have so many parents?

Keralis: There is plenty of Papa K to go around!

Pearl: We found out what happened if he didn't have enough.

Grian: Because I'm adorable.

Hypno: Short people have rights.

BDubs: Good for them.

Jevin: Hypno just smells.

BDubs: Because I'm not short.

Etho: Do you have trouble reaching the top shelf?

Doc: How does the ground look from down there?

AC :3 has renamed 'BDubs' to 'Short King'!

Short King: I AM A KING!

Short King: BUT I'M NOT SHORT

False: I dunno dude, you are sorta

Short King: TALL? WHY THANK YOU FALSE

Grian: No

Short King: I AM BEING HARASSED

Doc: No you're being babied :)

Short King: SKKZJSJCJCKLGGKCKCX

Ren: Hello :D?

Xisuma: He's speaking American.

Gem: BDubs! I didn't know you were multilingual :)!

Short King: CHANGENAMES

AC: ... Okie :P

AC :3 has renamed 24 names!

And he blew the house down: THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT

AC: Well if y'all can guess who each other is, I'll change you back :3? But you're also not allowed to reveal who you are yourself!

BFG: ... Why.

I am once again asking for your financial support: Oh good grief-

Mini slice of chaos: Well I dunno about you guys but I'm [REDACTED]

Mini slice of chaos: HEY.

Mini slice of chaos: [REDACTED]

Mini slice of chaos: Ok very funny so we actually can't reveal ourselves :(

Pokey the eye: Everyone say something so we can see everyone's names! Then we can go from there?

Spawning chunk: Hey guys

So oxygen and magnesium went on a date: OMg

Hermitcraft my beloved: Yo

In the pink: Hi everyone :P

Tycoon time: My name got changed :(

Tin can man: I'm not sure what to say about this.

GOODEST BOI: Yo what's up :D

Luna-tic: I kind of like my name :)

Dead inside: This is accurate.

Shot right through the heart: Hey

The man the myth the man the man: LOL sure

I am once again asking for your financial support: I feel like I'm getting called out?

The Romantic Era But Romanticised: Hello all

BFG: Hey

Look deep into your inner soul and relax: Hello :)!

Coolest Prince I've ever met: Hi!

Best Grandad: Hello

Kit: Hey everybody

Mini slice of chaos: Hi guys :/

Nothing personal, kid: Hey!

Explode the middle: Heyo

Him :): Hello

The Romantic Era But Romanticised: I have the distinct feeling we may have made a mistake of sorts.

———

Cub would call himself a man of morals.

Not many morals, nor ones that anyone may understand, but enough morals to be able to brag about it.

So when he absentmindedly checked the messages between Scar and his kid and saw the following:

AC: Papa?

Scar: Yes AC?

AC: There's a dead man at your base.

Scar: Oh ok.

Scar: Wait... Huh?

AC: They're making a mess of the carpets.

His second concern was whether the blood would clean out of Scar's carpets or not. Naturally, his first concern was the safety of his fellow vex, so upon making sure they weren't too badly affected by the loss, Cub asked if they needed help disposing of the body.

His dripstone canyon could do with some decorations.

However, AC explained that unfortunately, he had to leave the corpse for a while. Luckily, they had been able to clean the area around it, so no damage to any of Scar's builds was sustained.

Assured by their safety, their fathers thanked them and wished them luck on whatever task they were going onto next.

AC: Ok I love you :3

Scar: Love you too!

Cub: I love you too.

———

The man the myth the man the man: Oh? How?

The Romantic Era But Romanticised: It is currently impossible to determine every other member of our dear server without immediate confirmations that hint towards our own identity, yet that has been overruled. Unless of course, a more subversive route is taken?

Dead inside: Hi Joe

The Romantic Era But Romanticised: Hello Zombie Cleo!

AC :3 has changed 2 names!

Cleo: Cool who's next

GOODEST BOI: I don't mind :D

So oxygen and magnesium went on a date: Ohhh I get it now. Ren!

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Ren: D:

BFG: I can't believe you just did that to him

Cleo: Wow.

In the pink: Rude >:(

So oxygen and magnesium went on a date: OMg I'm so sorry-

Pokey the eye: Pearl we need more popcorn! And hot chocolate for Ren!

Luna-tic: Ok!

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Pearl: Oh hey my name's back! Thanks hermits!

Mini slice of chaos: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???????

Coolest Prince I've ever met: Other hermits, I think we should make the above hermit guess.

Kit: Agreed.

Tycoon time: Tango, Grian, no!

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Tycoon time: 1?

Kit: I'm not Grian.

Tango: IMPULSE.

Kit: No?

Tango: NOT YOU, UNKNOWN HERMIT

Tango: I MEANT *MOMPULSE

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

MOMPULSE: Hi Tango!

AC: Sorry changed the wrong name back while I reinstated Mompulse :P

Joe: The wrong mother?

The man the myth the man the man: I'm betting on Stress

Explode the middle: What about X?

I am once again asking for your financial support: ... X X X X X X X Z X X

The man the myth the man the man: Z

BFG: Z

Shot right through the heart: Z

Hermitcraft my beloved: Z

Him :) : Not Z, sorry, friend :)!

I am once again asking for your financial support: THERE HE IS.

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

I am once again asking for your financial support: Xisuma is too nice to make fun of a typo.

Xisuma: Z

I am once again asking for your financial support: My day has been ruined and my mood has been changed.

Xisuma: Sorry :)

Tin can man: That was weirdly fast

Look deep into your inner soul and relax: Oh, sweetface :(! Bad Shashwam!

Xisuma: D:

Xisuma: Wait KERALIS

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Keralis: Oh thank you!

So oxygen and magnesium went on a date: OMg we're getting there boys

In the pink: :P?

Pokey the eye: And hermit girls!

Shot right through the heart: Well that makes it easier.

Cleo: Stress is the pink one, Gem is poking eyes.

AC :3 has changed 2 names!

Pearl: So like no-eyed deer?

Gem: I think I'm the one doing the poking with my antlers :)

Pearl: Oh cool!

Stress: Lol fank u luv :P

Nothing personal, kid: How do the rest of us do that then?

Kit: No idea.

Nothing personal, kid: Well you're Etho.

Kit: Haha

———

"... How much andesite do you need, exactly?"

AC sat up, wiping the sweat from their brow. "Um... Gimme a sec..." They murmured, counting the carved blocks before them aloud. "Like... Two. Two more, pretty please?"

With a gracious, rumbling sort of laughter, TFC picked up the required two blocks without a hitch. The amazement shining in the young child's eyes was all the payment he needed, despite not really doing anything other than moving a few andesite blocks.

"So. What are you doing with these pretty carvings then?" TFC joined them on the floor, watching as they quickly scratched into the solid block.

Sometimes, there were symbols. Sometimes, it was to shave chunks off the andesite. The cave floor was already littered with alabaster dust; what was a few more pixels?

This activity was done with great care and must've meant something to AC, something he was probably missing. As was many things the crazy server rehearsed, he could only hope to catch a glimpse of the opening act this time.

AC blew the sparkles (sparkles? Since when did andesite glitter?) off of the final carving. TFC blinked. No, they had definitely completed the final carving, considering how the child was hurriedly collecting each one once more. That was certainly fast.

"I'm going to kill the ender dragon, TFC." AC promised. "Thank you for your help."

With a quirk of the eyebrow, TFC nodded.

———

Kit:

Kit: ?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

AC: Sorry sweetie I'm a bit distracted right now ;)

Etho: With what?

Etho: ... Hello?

Etho: ??

Cleo: Honestly just don't question it.

Etho: Ok

And he blew the house down: OK SO NOW WHAT???????

BFG: Are you BDubs?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

BDubs: How did you know?

BFG: He huffs and he puffs and he blows the house down.

BDubs: OK VERY FUNNY.

BDubs: Are you Doc then?

BDubs: No?

Spawning chunk: I thought that was Doc.

BFG: Uh

BFG: Are you ok

Spawning chunk: Me? Or BDubs?

BFG: How was your day

Spawning chunk: Good how about you?

BDubs: Oh it's been great!

BFG: ... Um

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

AC: Sorry :P!!

Doc: It's ok, I was just trying to delay them until you confirmed it. But what are you doing?

Stress: I was wondering that meself luv!

So oxygen and magnesium went on a date: OMg I want to know too

Hermitcraft my beloved: I thought we weren't questioning it?

Keralis: Cleo wasn't!

Mini slice of chaos: Technically we never said anything soooo

Tango: Right Impy is the OMg guy Zed or what? Don't think Grian would've got a science pun as a nickname, but he might've...?

MOMPULSE: No yeah that's either Zed or Mumbo, and I'm leaning towards Zed.

So oxygen and magnesium went on a date: OMg why?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Grian: The puns.

Grian: HEY WHAT

Grian: HUH

Grian: WHAT DID I DO? THANKS?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Zed: OMg misclick? Click bait? Clout? OMg?

Zed: Oh heeeeey guys

Tango: Told you >:)

Xisuma: Hypno is 'Hermitcraft my beloved' since he came up with the name, isn't he?

Hermitcraft my beloved: Dang

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Hypno: How long did that take you?

Shot right through the heart: Etho, Doc and BDubs, do you know who Beef is?

Xisuma: A good few minutes ha ha!

Xisuma: It was a good name :)

BDubs: Uh not completely but not whoever got made fun of by X?

I am once again asking for your financial support: WOW THANKS GUYS.

Doc: ... Wait I think I know who you are?

I am once again asking for your financial support: You do? Mind sharing with the class?

Doc: No I want to make sure you're not anyone else first.

Doc: I think I know though so don't worry.

I am once again asking for your financial support: Thank you Doc

MOMPULSE: Can the remaining hermits say something about themselves? Nothing that would break the rules.

Spawning chunk: Hey guys, Welsknight here!

Grian: Excuse you that's ILLEGAL

Tin can man: No because there can't be two Wels, unless you count Hels. And I don't.

Nothing personal, kid: ... So you're the 'second' Wels?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Wels: Nope. The only one :)

Stress: Awww! <3

Wels: <3

Shot right through the heart: Uh. Queen of hearts?

MOMPULSE: Heads and body parts!

Stress: FALSE

Doc: Hey go Team STAR!

Ren: FALSEY :D

AC :3 has changed 2 names!

False: Heck yeah! But two names?

GOODEST BOI: :D

False: Yes Ren!

Best Grandad: Aw, that's cute.

I am once again asking for your financial support: TFC?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

TFC: Guilty as charged, kid.

Zed: Who said they were Wels then?

Wels: I am Wels.

Spawning chunk: Think farms that need certain spawning chunks.

MOMPULSE: ... Slime farms?

Xisuma: Oh! Jevin?

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Jevin: There we go! I have returned from my people apparently.

Hypno: How was the visit?

Jevin: We decree that Hypno, you smell

Hypno: No you.

Explode the middle: I can see where this is going so I'm going to say continue but with passion.

Cleo: Oh?

The man the myth the man the man: Omega lol.

The man the myth the man the man: That was a big hint :)

I am once again asking for your financial support: Right ok hi Iskall.

Etho: Iskall!

Keralis: Iskall!

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Iskall: Yeah lol. One of you is Mumbo and I think it's the money one.

Doc: That was what I thought too. He's usually low in diamonds.

I am once again asking for your financial support: I feel attacked but also 100% agree.

AC :3 has changed 1 name!

Nothing personal, kid: So that leaves us, huh?

Explode the middle: We could just guess each other's names to save everyone else the effort?

Nothing personal, kid: That is true.

Nothing personal, kid: But would that be as interesting?

Explode the middle: Ok true. Ask away, hermits!

Cleo: Ok who here likes bones?

Nothing personal, kid: Bones are cool.

Explode the middle: Yeah bones are pretty cool.

Cleo: Well there goes my question. So who's next?

Etho: Foxes, yes or no?

Nothing personal, kid: They're adorable.

Explode the middle: Yeah they're pretty cute.

GOODEST BOI: I feel like you're doing this on purpose dudes :P

MOMPULSE: ... Mycelium?

Tango: No grass.

Zed: Wrong side, love.

Tango: *No, GRASS.

Nothing personal, kid: But what about podzol?

Hypno: BEEF! MY PODZOL BUDDY!

Joe: So that means the other is our beloved XB.

Explode the middle: Dang it we were doing so well!

AC :3 has changed 2 names!

Mumbo: Ha ha yeah turf war woo!

Grian: Wow yeah winning felt REALLY GOOD DIDN'T IT, RESISTANCE?

XB: Yep!

Stress: It was fun :)!

GOODEST BOI: Yes Mother Spore :D

Etho: Yep yep

Doc: Yes.

Mumbo: Wow thanks guys.

Xisuma: Mumbo!

Tango: #BestMoleMumbo

False: He wasn't even a mole this time. He was just on our side.

Mumbo: Grian-

Grian: :(

Mumbo: Griiiian :(

Grian: :(

Mumbo: :)

Grian: :o

Mumbo: :v

Grian: :)

Grian: HEY STOP THAT

BDubs: What was that?

Iskall: A murder apparently :)

Wels: Over text?

Doc: That is how most of our murders are announced, yes.

Stress: Doc that's breaking the fourth wall :(

Doc: Sorry

BDubs: The fourth wall??????

Hypno: Not the third wall then?

Grian: Hey Mumbo I've had an idea!

Mumbo: Oh Devs...

Pearl: I think the Watchers look after that one.

Pearl: *that wall.

Zed: So it canonically sucks, great.

Pearl: Lol true tho

Grian: Hey is it cute though.

Mumbo: GRIAN!

MOMPULSE: ... What?

Grian: Look I'm just saying.

Jevin: Actually no yeah you have a point.

Beef: It is. A wall.

Jevin: A cute wall.

Jevin: And a cute person behind it.

Gem: No. No... No...?

Tango: LOL

Etho: To be fair, not the worst thing I've heard.

———

The Boatem hole was reverberating.

A reverberation of that felt like nothing stronger than a whisper, but Grian could hear it, if he scooted right up to the edge. He could feel the vibrations, ever so slightly better near the edges.

It rustled his feathers, shifting his wings without much intention; it didn't hurt, per say, though it was a strange sensation.

He wondered if something was happening in the Void, offhandedly.

If something, perhaps, was exploding, to create such a tremor.

Surely not.

Either way, his communicator screen lit up with a message: he smirked at the challenge Etho gave (or at least, Grian was taking it as a challenge. He hoped Etho would too).

So he racked his brain for all the terrible things he could think of to respond appropriately to the white-haired ninja and truthfully, found it was much easier than he bargained for.

From the looks of things, Mumbo had already caught on too.

———

Grian: Lies! I've heard worse.

Etho: Wanna bet?

Iskall: OMEGA LOL

Grian: Sure Etho :)

Mumbo: I'm leaving. Goodbye. I'm gone.

Etho: Tinky Winky.

Doc: ... What is Tinky Winky?

Hypno: NOBODY SAY ANYTHING

Grian: Hey Doc he's really hot :)

Doc: Ok

GOODEST BOI: Doc please no :D

Doc: Ok..

False: Doc no.

Doc: Ok?

Grian: So anyways Mr Krabs though.

Mumbo: NO.

Etho: True, I think that's a popular one.

Grian: Plankton though.

Etho: Ohhh, chorused!

BDubs: X can we ban him?

Xisuma: No I want to see where this goes...

Etho: BDubs wait your turn.

BDubs: ETHO YOU

Keralis: <3

BDubs: ...

BDubs: <3

BDubs: ETHO WHADDAYA MEAN?????

Stress: I thought u wer gonna say Mr Bean for a sec XD

Grian: OH MY DEVS MR BEAN!!

Etho: ... Mr Bean?

Grian: MR BEAN! STRESS!!

Stress: Whoopsie!

Iskall: LOL STRESS-

Grian: That's a classic.

Hypno: This is so cursed...

Etho: Oh how about Kristoff from Frozen?

Grian: No.

Grian: Sven.

Gem: This is cursed, but I'm happy about the reindeer representation!

Joe: I would like to report that Cleo is dying of laugher so cannot message a response, but they would like to say 'Grian wins that one'.

Grian: Grandad Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

Etho: Dang I was going to say Willy Wonka.

MOMPULSE: ... Dude.

Zed: One of these things is not like the others~

Zed: No but seriously I can see the appeal there...

Joe: Thank you.

Zed: I. I mean the guy who gives you free chocolate, wink wink, not the... Not the grandad?

Doc: 'Grandad'

Zed: No! I mean the slightly more handsome one!

Grian: Zed it's ok.

Grian: I've heard worse :)

BDubs: WE'RE AWARE.

Pearl: I'm scared.

Grian: Were you aware of Spider-Man's dad?

BDubs: HE IS DEAD.

Gem: Spoiler alert!

Zed: Have you not seen Spider-Man? The double-orphan?

Cleo: Duly noted...

Gem: I have seen Spider-Man, which is why we have to spoiler-warning it!

Tango: See! There is good left in humanity!

Keralis: I think it's only Gem though :)

False: What does he even look like?

Tango: Spider-Man?

Wels: Do you mean to say Tony Stark?

Zed: Well that one's more understandable considering he actually has a face...

Beef: What do you mean? Spider-Man has a face!

MOMPULSE: His dad does too.

Zed: Yeah I have no idea either.

Zed: But Tony Stark is an attractive businessman who I would call an esteemed gentleman.

Grian: Ok true but it's not cursed enough tho

Etho: The cricket from Mulan?

Grian: THE CRICKET FROM MULAN!!

Etho: I thought people meant Mushu for a long time, but no, they meant the Cricket.

Jevin: And you're sure they didn't mean Mushu?

Etho: No judging here!

Grian: Remy.

Tango: Remy?

Beef: The rat from Ratatouille.

XB: He's not called 'ratatouille'

GOODEST BOI: He's called Remy :D

Cleo: Grian, Etho, you're both mad.

Hypno: I thought his name was 'rat'.

Jevin: Who calls themselves 'rat'?

Hypno: He's a rat! What rat calls himself 'Remy'?!

Jevin: ONES THAT COOK APPARENTLY

Doc: Bold of you to assume other rats can't cook.

Jevin: I swear I've seen a rat cook before.

Doc: ... Ok?

Gem: Is this server ok?

Mumbo: No.

XB: I feel like things got a lot worse this time though.

GOODEST BOI: It's actually better now than if Cub and Scar were here...

False: Yeah true.

AC :3 has added Cub and Scar to the groupchat!

Cub: Hello?

Mumbo: OH MY GOODNESS.

Zed: Wait but that means-

Iskall: Oh no no no no no

BDubs: OH NO

Cleo: Oh no

TFC: Oh no

Cleo: Oh noooo

MOMPULSE: Oh no

Joe: Oh

Beef: Uh oh

Stress: Oops :P

Scar: What did I do :(?

Xisuma: ... Oh no

Xisuma: I

Xisuma:

Etho: Please tell me they were joking.

Xisuma:

Tango: GUYS??

Scar: ?

Cub: Why is there a summoning circle in my base?

Beef: I'll do you one better.

Beef: Why is there a summoning circle on my roof?

Iskall: I have one on mine and Etho's wall.

Iskall: It's vertical.

Iskall: I'd be very impressed if I wasn't so distressed.

Scar: Cub one of the vex deities is crying in the corner again :(

Cub: Good crying or bad crying or very bad crying?

Scar: Uhhhhh

Scar: Laughing :)!

Scar: There's also a dead guy here.

MOMPULSE: WHY WOULD YOU END WITH THAT?

Scar: AC told me about them earlier so it doesn't really matter.

Grian: Does the fact your small child committed homicide not concern you?

Cub: I didn't witness them killing anybody.

Grian: There's a dead person and they told you about it.

Scar: You commit crimes and we aren't concerned about you!

XB: Grian's kill here count is off the charts.

Grian: >:0

BDubs: OK SO AS LONG AS NO ONE MENTIONS THE THING AC DID WE'RE FINE

Cub: What did AC do?

Tango: You FOOL

BDubs: OH NO

Stress: Nofink :D

Hypno: Between the 5 of us, surely we can keep a secret?

Jevin: *25

Xisuma: ... *26

Keralis: Who do you forget :(?

Jevin: I didn't!

Hypno: Ha ha.

Jevin: YOU SAID 5?

Joe: Only five of the hermits exist. The rest are merely a figment of imagination.

Tango: Well I obviously exist because I'm really cool :)

Doc: Guess I've been nerfed by the Devs again. Goodbye.

False: RIP other hermits?

Cub: What did AC do?

Tango: Sus

MOMPULSE: Third imposter :(

Zed: Pssst... Has he found out about the 'AC trying to solo kill the ender dragon' thing yet?

Scar:

Zed:

Scar:

Zed: ...

Zed: That was meant to be a private message.

Cleo: SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING...

Doc: Oh no

Scar: Hey guys :)

Scar: What did you do to my child :)

Grian: BOATEM ASSEMBLE

MOMPULSE: CUB'S BASE IS NEXT TO OURS

Grian: BOATEM ASSEMBLE THE OTHER WAY

Mumbo: I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS?

Pearl: D:

Keralis: There is so much fear in that frowny face :(

Cub: Keralis can you open the door?

Keralis: Oh ok bye bye guys :)

Cub: I just want to talk.

Gem: Guys my place is not a good refuge!

XB: Look honestly nowhere is at this point.

Wels: The horse heads would be funny though.

Hypno: WELS SHUSH

Wels: ?

Wels: Oh are you there?

Hypno: WELS!!!!! NO!!!!

Etho: If I die Iskall gets my trident.

Iskall: Thanks bro :D

Etho: The NHO get the rest of my stuff.

BDubs: Really FREAKING helpful Etho!

Doc: Thanks?

Beef: Cool!

Etho: Beef gets his hoodies back.

Beef: Wait what

Etho: But not yet because I'm not dead yet :)

Cub: That can be arranged.

Etho: Oh whoops gotta go.

False: Whoa look at how many death messages there are on the main chat...

Xisuma: Oh goodness me-

AC: Uh.

AC: Hey guys I heard (saw) death and it wasn't Zed OwO?

Scar: Oh! Hi sweetie what did the hermits do you :)?

Cub: Hello :)!

AC: Haiiii : D!

Joe: There are currently still many deaths occurring.

AC: ... Why :3?

AC: Oh never mind he just died :(

AC: Hey Papa, hey Dad, guess what I did : D

Cub: What did you do?

AC: I killed the ender dragon :)

Scar: That sounds fun!

Scar:

Scar: Sorry, could you repeat that?

AC: I got a dragon head : D! Fresh from the source! Well... Sort of?

Cub: ... Did you do that all by yourself?

AC: The hermits actively encouraged me not to do it.

AC: So I did it out of a mixture of spite, boredom and wanting to see what the chaotic catalyst I'd introduced would do to the following conversations.

AC: The results were entertaining, no :3?

Scar: I do see a lot of messages...

Doc: Are some of them death messages?

Scar: No not in this chat?

Stress: We wer kinda crazy XD

Gem: It's... Not worse than the Empires groupchat, right Pearl?

Pearl: Uh.

Pearl: That is only because they make up for the smaller number of servermates in chaos and anarchy.

Gem: Oh true :/

GOODEST BOI: I had no regrets ;)

MOMPULSE: I did.

MOMPULSE: Regret number one is called Grian.

Grian: OI

Tango: Don't worry it means he loves you :)

MOMPULSE: It really doesn't.

Tango: But I love you!

MOMPULSE: I love you too, but please stop.

Tango: :(

Zed: :)

Tango: ZED >:(

Zed: *:(

Xisuma: So are we glossing over the fact that AC killed the ender dragon?

False: Apparently so. Is there something else we should worry about?

Xisuma: I think the End dimension's buggy now. I can't access it.

Grian: ... They broke the end?

AC: #It'sNeverTheEnd

Xisuma: What is going on?

Beef: Uh oh

Wels: That doesn't sound good.

Jevin: Should we be freaking out?

Jevin; I feel like we should be freaking out.

Mumbo: I'll start!

Mumbo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Xisuma: No, it's fine, but... Oh goodness me, what exactly did you do, AC?

AC: ...

AC: Everything I needed to *UwU*