Author's note:
Christmas. A time of solitude.

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You're the light of my life.

I hear your laughter from miles away, loud and full of joy. Have I ever told you it was wonderful?

People don't appreciate the little things in life. You said that once, and I asked if you were making fun of my height. Then you laughed. That beautiful sound, of ringing bells and wintry rains.

I would visit you every day I could. You weren't always there, but that was alright. So long as you came. I would wait by the door patiently, waiting and watching for you. When you came, I would ask you about your day, and then you'd ask about mine.

Not once did I have a clear response, yet not once did it matter.

Many a day it rained, yet I still waited. I waited for you to come back. As soon as you came, you took me inside and scolded me for staying in the cold.

You'd probably scold me now because I'm not in bed, where it's warmer, but you wouldn't mean it. You never meant it.

It was really entertaining to scare Xisuma. We worked hard on coming up with that idea, didn't we? I've scared Xisuma a few times after, but it doesn't have the same spark. You always had that ability.

I remember once when you took me shopping. I didn't buy anything, but I remember running into Mumbo. Then we made Grian and Iskall laugh so hard they cried, and you couldn't believe it.

Looking back, I have no clue why they laughed. It wasn't even a funny joke. Did you have something to do with that?

You did a lot of things for me, even if I didn't ask for them.

Your generosity, kindness, passion... All things I looked up to. I wished so badly to become someone like you. I never did, but it was nice to hope for something.

Every other day, I would walk through everyone's buildings, wondering if they would approach me. Sometimes, they would... But I always hoped that they'd approach me like you did.

It seems silly now. They never did, and that was ok. So long as I had you.

I remember the day you introduced me to EX. So sweet and carefree; very unlike his brother, may I add. He became another light of my life. And it was nice. Just the two lights of my life and me.

... But then one went away.

A lot of people say it was my fault. I didn't believe them at first, but... Who else is there to blame?

I miss you. I miss your laughter. I miss your spark. Everything's been rather gloomy without you. No one new approaches me anymore. Maybe it's for the best.

Slowly, my second light is being persuaded to leave me. Every sporadic visit has a larger gap than the last. He doesn't notice, but it's alright. It was inevitable. They can make him happier; his light was all I wanted.

I sometimes wonder what would happen when he fully disappears. Left in darkness, what a mournful soul would I become.

But maybe it's for the best.

... It will be Christmas soon. Both of you love the holiday to bits. I like it because you did, as well as it being a time I can hide amongst the others easier. They like staying together in this season, I've noticed. It makes them very happy.

I'm sorry that I can't let go. Even at such a happy time. Seeing everyone together makes me a little lonely, you see. Just a little.

... I miss you. But maybe it's better that you're not with me anymore. Maybe.

I love you.