Author's note
I may or may not have been very very inspired by a plethora of many senpais :3.

Have a mixture of stoopid irl quotes (and two short stories!), incorrect quotes, ship-posts, vines and shippy role-plays! Spoken by the hermits ;3!

(Oh, and to any senpais who may enjoy them, all role-plays chu see that interest chu I'm totally down to expand on in the comments : D!!! I tried getting as many role-play ships as I could!)

Also, I was thinking what I could do to extend this because it's way under what I usually aim to write, so I added a short irl story and then I got tagged many times and I STILL CAN'T FINISH WRITING THAT CHAPTER I-

EDIT: Still struggling, please help me, feelings of xselxssxexs are dxwnxxg upon me... But that's sad, and we can't have that here :3! Also, I'll apologise for lack of comments, I've been feeling a lil oxt xf xx and for some reason, I'm not getting some notifications while I receive others... Much strange and deterring... :/
—————————————————

Jevin: You're so cute when you're angry!

Wels: Then I'm about to get reallY FREAKING ADORABLE-

———

(This is literally an incorrect quote I-

To Bird senpai, if chu art reading dis, I do really love chu, don't worry :3!)

———

EX: Live every day as if it were your last, because I'm going to kill you.

———

False: What's your biggest flaw?

Python: I can be uncooperative.

False: ... Ok, can you name an example?

Python: No.

———

Mumbo: Ohhh, that's why they're called flip-flops! Because they flip over!

Grian: No, it's because they make the sound when you violently shake them.

Mumbo: ... Don't you mean when you wear them?

Grian: No, I mean when you violently shake them.

———

Zed: I love you both more than diamonds.

Tango: What about notch apples?

Impulse: End crystals!

Tango: Water in the nether?

Impulse: Skeleton horsemen.

Tango: Zombie jockeys.

Impulse: ... Naturally spawning charged creepers within your damage radiu-

Zed: (-slightly confused-) I love you both than all of those things!

Tango: Why would love a charged creeper within your damage radius?

———

Ren: Isn't it funny how everyone is like a background character in other people's stories? Except me of course because I'm hot and important. But like, all of you guys.

———

Cleo: Would you like butter in your ice- wait, no-

Stress: (-turns to False-) I'm not sure, would you like butter on your ice? ... Wait a second-

False: ... (-dying of laughter-)

———

TFC: Why are you eating cereal from a cup?

Joe: Because I'm angry and it very slightly annoys you.

TFC: Did... Did you at least wash the cup twice?

Joe: No.

TFC: ... Do you want to talk about it?

Joe: NO! (-drinks cereal as annoyingly as he can-)

———

Scar: Ok, so what if you had the power to heal others... But you're a villain?

Cub: I was not aware that I was the American healthcare system.

———

Cleo: You're... (-glances at Ren-)... So dramatic...

Ren: (-with his suddenly-appeared dress shirt unbuttoned, rose between his teeth, sparkly lights everywhere, laying splayed out across a piano-) I have no idea what you are talking about. (-a random choir starts singing behind him-)

———

Xisuma: Is water wet?

EX: NO!

Ren: YES!

EX: (-triggered noise-) I D I O T-

———

Cleo: Hold up, let me just door slam into the wall-

———

Mumbo: (-confused-) What are you talking about? Grian doesn't like me-

Iskall: Yes he does.

Stress: Yes he does.

Ren: Yes he does.

Doc: Yes he does.

Tango: Yes he does.

Joe: Yes he does.

Grian: Yes I- waIT-

Everyone but Mumbo and Grian: (-annoyed screaming-)

———

Kidnapper: We have your child.

Joe: (-tiredly, as it's quite early in the morning-): I don't have a child.

Kidnapper: Then who just asked if-

Stress: (-taking his C.P.S.T from him-) Oh, sorry, I should probably make it a tad clearer. We don't have a child. As in, only one child. Can you describe what they're like so we can determine if it's them who needs help, or you who needs help?

Kidnapper: ... Right, ok, they're really annoying, kinda crazy and their laugh is really coo- annoying-

TFC: (-from further away-) TELL HIM TO BE MORE SPECIFIC!

———

Zed: There's no 'I' in happyness!

Tango: ... I'm going to tell him.

Impulse: Don't you dare.

Tango: You're right, I'm not going to.

———

Ren: IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN THE WORLD-

Doc: (-sighs-) It's a ba-na-na-na next to a ba-na-na-na?

Ren: (-kisses a photo-) ME.

Doc: (-face palm, glimpsing over at the photo-) ... That's a photo of Is-

Ren: (-blushes, before swapping the photo for one of himself-) ME.

———

Grian: (-cleaning up a failed prank at Concorp-) Ugggh... I don't want to do this... Oh, hey, AC!

AC: ... (-stops, looking questionably at him-) Yes?

Grian: I'll give you five diamonds if you clean this... Random mess up for me!

AC: ...Mmm... I'm... Not sure...

Grian: What about eight diamonds then?

AC: ... Alright then... (-holds hand out-)

Grian: Wha- really? Neat! (-gives me the diamonds, watching as I check them and put them in my pocket-) I'll just be go-

AC: Thanks! (-edits my speed before transforming into a wolf, immediately bolting away-) DAAAAAD! PAPAAAA!

Grian: HEY- WAIT- NO- (-flies after me-) COME BACK-!

(Author's note: That day, I earned ten diamonds >;3)

———

Joe: (-in the middle of writing someone-) ... Ah, no, what's it called?

Xisuma: (-working on code-) ... What's what called?

Joe: Y'know, that... (-mimes-) spritz spritz thingy! With the... Nozzle?

Xisuma: ... I have honestly no idea what you're talking about...

Joe: Ah, never mind, it'll come it me...

(-two hours later-)

Joe: ... SPRAY BOTTLE-

Xisuma: AHHHHHHH-

———

Biffa: I guess it's time to go home now-

Jevin: SHOTGUN!

Wels: But you had it on the way here (-turns around-)- ARGH-

Jevin: No, I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat. (-makes that... Sound...-)

———

False: What's your biggest flaw?

Biffa: I can be apathetic to the point where it unnerves people.

False: Really? I'd say that's pretty cool.

Biffa: ...

False: ...

———

(Author's note: HEH HEH! THIS IS A CORRECT QUOTE! Get bamboozled >:3)

Zloy: (-sees a grand piano-) ... H-Hold on, just-just give me a moment... (-sits down, fingers ready-)

Zloy: ... MaKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN (-horrible clashing of keys-)

———

AC: I'm stupid.

EX: Yes, you are.

AC: I'm a disappointment.

EX: Yes, you are.

AC: I could do with a hug?

EX: Yes, you could. (-walks away-)

———

Grian: What are you, two?

Iskall: Yeah, two heads taller than you!

(-short timeskip-)

Mumbo: (-holding Grian back by the waist as he struggles-) GRIAN NO-

Grian: ISKALL-I-SWEAR-WHEN-I-GET-MY-HANDS-ON-YOU-

Iskall: You'll need to reach up?

———

Xisuma: What were you thinking?!

Joe: You guys are on a time out! For not only carrying five people on a flaming, flying camper van, but also for convincing Zloy to come with-

Zloy: Who said they had to convince me~?

Iskall: Wait!... Did you just say five?

Joe: ... Yes...? Why...?

Impulse: (-does a head count-) ... He's... Right... There's only five of us...

Zed: ... OH NO- OHHHH NO-

Joe: Zed, are you alright-?

Tango: REN FREAKING FELL OFF?!

Xisuma and Joe: WAIT WHAT-

———

(Author's note: Basic summary of the aftermath of 'First Flight')

Cub: Why is my child even more terrified of heights?

Grian: I'm not sure, because of natural causes.

Scar: (-hugging me, who's still petrified-) YOU FORCED HER TO JUMP OFF OF BUILD HEIGHT!

Grian: ... Gravity is a natural force- (-starts running, as Cub chases after him-)

———

False: What's your biggest flaw?

Doc: Sometimes I don't listen to people because they're boring me.

False: That's not too bad: I do that sometimes as well.

Doc: Sorry, what was that?

———

Cleo: You're like school.

False: In July.

Stress: No class!

———

Joe: Hey guys- wait, why're you all standing on your chairs? Are we playing a game?

Python: Yeah, we're playing 'we saw a freakiNG big spider and don't know where it went'. Wanna join in?

Joe: (-scrambles onto chair-)

———

Tango: Hey. I need your help to break into Concorp. Girlie's got a piece of blackmail on me.

Impulse: That's against the rules.

Tango: (-slightly disappointed-) O-Oh, well, that's-

Impulse: Naw, I'm messing with you, I'm totally in.

Zed: (-appears behind them-) I heard 'against the rules', whatever it is I'm also in.

———

Doc: I hate corny stuff.

Xisuma: (-holds his hand and squishes the peets-)

Doc: (-blushing-) I... H-Hate... Corny... Stuff...

———

Jevin: Wow, Wels, you're so cool!

Wels: Huh... People call me that a lot!

Jevin: Cool?

Wels: No, Wels.

———

EX: I could literally kill you if I wanted to.

AC: Well, so could anyone else.

EX: ...

AC: So could tallish buildings.

EX: ...

AC: So could a slightly noticeable bump on the ground.

EX: ...

AC: So could a very well-aimed gust of wind.

EX: ... I-

AC: You're not special.

———

Zloy: Observe. 'What does what does and mean mean'

Pixl: ... What does that even mean?!

Zloy: See, if you add punctuation, it makes sense!

———

Grian: ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS STUPID!

Cub: Grian.

———

False: (-while petting a stray cat she found-) What's your biggest flaw?

Scar: I like cats.

False: Wait what- (-realises the cat is gone-)

Scar: (-running away with the cat-)

———

Joe: (-knocking on Cleo's door-) Cleo, we gotta go! I need you to come out!

Cleo: (-muffled-) I'M BI!

Joe: Not what I meant, but I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU!

———

Tango: (-mumbled speech before-) What do you think?

Zed: I think it's really... (-finger guns-) Sweet-

Impulse: ... ChocolATE FOETUS?!

———

Biffa: Hey, y'know what sucks?

Wels: Vacuums!

Biffa: Hey, y'know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

Jevin: Black holes!

Biffa: ... Hey, y'know what just isn't cool?

Wels and Jevin: Lava!

Biffa: I- Ugh. Just... Just forget it...

(-Wels and Jevin high five-)

———

Impulse: Y'know, I'm not totally useless. I can always be used as a bad example.

Python: I'll be the support.

Jevin: I'll be evidence.

Tango: I'll be... The counter-argument?

Joe: I'll be disappointed.

———

Iskall: Working in Sahara is hard, yes, but I love working with both of my best friends, and that's all that matters-

Mumbo: (-running fearfully to Iskall-) Iskall, Grian threw a potato into the system again, and it's broken it-

Iskall: (-DEEP inhale-)

———

AC: Just be smooth (-finger guns-)! Drop a subtle hint or two!

Scar: ... A-Alright! (-walks confidently up to Cub-) Hey.

Cub: Hi, what's up-

Scar: DO YOU WANNA PUT YOUR MOUTH ON MY MOUTH? (-blushes before running away-)

Cub: (-blushing-)

AC: (-chases after him-) I WAS NOT AWARE 'SUBTLE' AND 'MCFRIGGIN OBVIOUS' WERE SYNONYMS BUT OKIE DAD-

———

Xisuma: Y'know, we all lost something today. I lost EX, Mumbo lost his moustache, Biffa lost patience and TFC lost hope for us again.

———

(-Iskall has attached a potato on a string to a gently ceiling rotating fan-)

Stress: ... This is strangely transfixing.

Mumbo: I feel less worrisome already.

Grian: (-humming-) A potato flew around the room before you came excuse the mess I made-

Iskall: (-switches the fan on high accidentally-)

Grian, Iskall and Stress: (-screaming and latching onto Mumbo-)

Mumbo: (-screaming and frozen in shock-)

(-suddenly, the string snaps-)

———

Cub: I'm AmeriCAN! Not AmeriCAN'T!

Scar: (-staring at all of the chemicals in concern-) Y-You really Amerishouldn't...

———

TFC: Joe? JOE! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE DRUNK!

Joe: (-slurred-) Mmmnot 'runk?

Stress: (-holding him up-) Yes... Yes you are.

Joe: MMNOH-!

TFC: (-skeptically, nodding at the clock. It's two-forty-six in the morning-) Can you tell the time then?

Joe: Def'nly! (-turns and wags his finger at the clock-) MMNOGH... FRUGIN... DWUNQU...!

———

Jevin: Sometimes, Wels is a literal medieval knight. Remember that time he thought it was an invisible ghost that pulled out a single slice of toast from the toaster?

Biffa: And got really excited? Yes, yes I do. It was... Cute.

Wels: (-running in with the toaster and two pieces of warm, popped-out toast-) GUYS, YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS-!

———

Pixl: This job will require some guts. Do you think I should call Doc or Biffa to help us?

Zloy: What? You could ask me, I have guts! I-I'm a man!

Pixl: ... That's debatable-

Zloy: (-pouts-) Hey! I'm just as much as a man as Doc or Biffa!

Biffa and Doc: (-appearing behind them-) I don't accept that.

———

Python: What if I made my cereal with an energy drink instead of milk?

———

(-playing scrabble-)

Tango: I'll put down an 'a' to make... 'a'.

Stress: I'll add to your 'a' to make 'at'!

Biffa: I'll put down an 'r' to make 'rat'.

Joe: I'll use your 'rat' to make 'biostratigraphical'.

AC: (-slams an UNO plus four card at him-) You sir, are not someone who specialises finding the correlation of rock strata and its age through looking at fossils and sediments.

———

Xisuma: So, uh, what seems to be the problem?

Biffa: Recently, every time I have a cup of tea, I get a sharp pain in my right eye.

Xisuma: ... Can you please show me an exa- ok, you came with your own tea, that's fair-

Biffa: (-opens his visor. He's mid-sip when he slams the teacup down and grabs his eye-)

Xisuma: (-sighing-) ... Have you considered taking the spoon out?

———

Mumbo: You think I can't fight because I'm too nice?

Iskall: No, I think you can't fight because you're in a maid-dress. And part-cat. (-gestures around in Mumbo's direction-). For what it's worth, Grian's certainly enjoying this.

Grian: (-with a nosebleed, slightly delirious from fluster and blood loss-) Yes, I would like to order the hot maid, please-

———

Iskall: What should we nickname my crush so it's not obvious?!

Stress: Scissors.

Iskall: ... Why?

Stress: Because you've done both rock and paper and neither of them worked.

———

Impulse: Gotta love some paper mache.

Zed: Mmm delicious.

Impulse: Nom nom.

Zed: Could eat that all day.

Tango: You insolent fools, you're saying it wrong. It's papier-mâché.

Impulse and Zed: Screw you and your one working brain cell!

———

Cleo: Hummus. Thoughts?

———

Xisuma: (-on HC 6's anniversary-) Happy one year, guys!

Everyone but Zed: HAPPY ONE YEAR!

Zed: (-not paying attention-) Wait, I thought I was an adult already-

———

False: ... Are you sure about this, Ren?

Impulse: Yeah, what exactly are you going to do? Annoy him into confession?

Ren: Ha ha, very funny.

(-ten minutes later, Ren is sitting in front of a tied up Mumbo-)

Ren: (-pulls out a guitar-) Confess and I'll stop. (-pterodactyl screeches and strums random chords-)

Mumbo: ... (-shouting over the noise-) YOU KNOW I DEAL WITH GRIAN AND ISKALL MOST DAYS, RIGHT?!

Ren: (-stubbornly screeches louder-)
———

Stress: (-dared by Iskall to do this-) DOC! IS THAT A WEED?

Doc: (-confused-) ... No, this is a leaf-

Stress: I'M CALLING THE PO-LEES! (-dials number-)

Iskall's voice: (-currently screaming in laughter, manages to choke out-) N-NINE-NINE ONE ONE- WHA- WHACHA N-EEE-D?!

Doc: ...

———

Joe: Hey, False is taking a short break (-False screaming in annoyance echoes in the background-)... So she asked me to ask this question for her. What's your biggest flaw?

Ren: Not having you in my arms~ (-winks-)

Joe: ... Ok then- (-quietly runs away-) FALSE-!

———

Random teacher: Let me see your homework.

Cub: (-not paying attention, or missing a beat-) How much are you willing to pay for it?

———

Wels: D-Did you punch Doc?!

Python: Yeah, you should've heard what he said!

Wels: And what did he say?

Python: 'What are you gonna do shortie, punch me?'

———

AC: One time, Dad and Papa went away and didn't tell me where they went, and weren't responding to the text I sent; I baked cake, cleaned up afterwards to halt my increasingly large wxrxy of abxxdxnmxxx and xselxxsnxsx.

TFC: ... Your response to being under extreme loneliness-worry is... To bake confectionary...?

AC: Not really, that was one of my better responses for tackling the overload of... 'Energy' that comes from me wxxryxng about silly things.

———

Zed: (-in a mask-) YOU THERE! SHOOT THE OTHER PERSON! (-throws a bow and arrow at Tango-)

Impulse: WAIT NO-

Tango: (-already shooting at Zed instead-) Not a hard choice, budd-

Zed: (-in a panic, tearing off his mask as the arrow flies at him-)

Tango: FRICK-

———

Ren: What are you doing this weekend then?

Iskall: Having a date with the love of my life.

Ren: (-slightly sad-) O-Oh... Nice... Um, when is it?

Iskall: Depends. When are you free?

Ren: This Saturday, wh- OH-

———

Biffa: In a few years, I see you wearing white.

Wels: (-blushing-) O-Oh, really-

Jevin: I don't, because I know for a fact you will spill something on it.

———

Grian: What would you classify as the height of stupidity?

Doc: (-shrugging-) I don't know, how short are you?

———

Scar: Change is inedible

Cub: Don't you mean inevitable?

Scar: (-spitting out a coin he thought was chocolate-) No, I do not.

———

False: ... Ok... Right, ok... What's your biggest flaw?

Xisuma: I put too much trust into autocorrect, I guess.

False: Huh. That's a new one...

Xisuma: Yeh, I gurss iy us sa bjt.

———

Ren: When life gives you lemons, make a Fanta!

———

EX: You're an imbecile.

Iskall: (-offended gasp, spluttering-) Firstly, ROOD, and secondly, that's inbESULLEN TO YOU!

———

Wels: If I were to charge and leap at Python, he will most definitely catch me. Watch this. (-bolts at a just-woken-up Python-)

Python: (-only just realised what's happening-) Wait- Wels- I'm hOLDING COFFEE- (-drips the coffee to catch Wels-) ... If you were not my best friend I would've left you in pain.

Wels: You value me more than coffe- (-is dropped as Python slinks away-) OW... Never... Mind...

———

Doc: Here. Have a nice, hot cup of tea.

Cub: Thanks... (-feeling the cup-) It's cold.

Doc: Nice cup. Of tea.

Cub: (-sipping some, before immediately spitting it out-) This is disgusting.

Doc: (-slowly becoming more annoyed-) Cup. Of. Tea.

Cub: (-staring at the murky black contents-) I'm not sure if this is even tea...

Doc: C U P.

———

Grian: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to S S S S S SAHARAAAAA (-agressive airhorn noises-)!

———

Zed: (-crossing his arms-) I hope you have a good explanation. (-gestures at all of the fire and destruction in the surrounding area-)

Impulse: (-sitting on top of his ghast cannon, panting-) Actually, we have three!

Tango: (-in half demon form, panting-) Pick your favourite! (-waves around three, slightly burned slips of paper-)

———

Mumbo: Guess what I'm not! FRIGID-

Mumbo: Gee, sure glad it's not FRIGID-

Mumbo: I'm calling our group name FRIGID-

Mumbo: What's his name again? FRIGID-

Iskall: I don't really see the point of-

Mumbo: F R I G I D-

———

Grian: So, I've been thinking-

Mumbo: (-genuinely surprised-) Really?

Iskall: (-excited but skeptical-) Reeeally?

Doc: I find that hard to believe.

Xisuma: Mumbo's at his base.

False: I'll call Stress.

Stress: I'll get the first-aid kit.

Cub: I'll get my camera.

Scar: I'll take cover-

Ren: (-general screaming-)

———

Jevin: (-stroking Biffa's hair-) You're cute when you're so docile.

Biffa: I could still kill you both right now, y'know. (-blushes slightly-)

Wels: (-holding Biffa's hands-) We know.

———

AC: Imma get some food.

Scar: Ok, but be careful! It's hot.

AC: Aw, don't worry! It's not like I'm going to burn myself or anything!

(-five minutes later-)

AC: (-walking in sheepishly, sucking her finger-) Ok, so, you were right about it being hot...

———

Mumbo: Ha what idiots.

(Author's note: Now, there are two variations with this. The normal one, and the ZIT one. The normal one was taken from @kitsunite senpai, because it's way too true... Go check them out, senpai makes really really funny stuff that... May or may not have also inspired this oop-)

Mumbo: (-realising its Grian and Iskall, running to stop them-) Wait, those are my idiots!

Impulse: (-realising it's Zed and Tango, running to them-) Wait, those are my idiots! HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME-

———

Scar: It's... Kinda cold...

Cub: Here, take my jacket (-takes off his lab coat, swinging it loosely around Scar's shoulders with a smile-)

Scar: (-lightly blushes-) Th-Thanks...

———

Doc: (-even though he's way colder than a normal human due to him being cold blooded-) Hey, hey are you cold?

Xisuma: (-concerned-) U-Um... No, no, I'm alright-

Doc: (-grinning wickedly-) I think you are. (-takes off his ripped lab coat. He's now shirtless-)

Xisuma: (-blushes horribly-) P-PUT YOUR SHIRT B-BACK ON! (-stares at the ground-)

Doc: (-shrugs and smirks-) Wasn't wearing one in the first place. Why? (-slings his lab coat over his shoulder, gesturing vaguely around-) Want this~?

Xisuma: ... (-he blushes more, stuttering-) Y-Yes please...

Doc: (-blushes-) W-Wait whAT?!

———

Stress: (-talking about all of the redstoners, and how they can't figure out which builder likes them-) YOU'RE SO CLEVER! How could such clever people be so...

False: Stupid?

Cleo: Blind?

TFC: Oblivious.

Joe: ... Unaware?

Stress: ALL OF THE ABOVE!

———

Joe: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad deshisun, how drunk would you be?

Biffa: Mostly sober.

Scar: ... Maybe a little tipsy.

Iskall: Quite drunk, actually.

Python: Ha! Wasted!

Grian: D E A D.

———

Mumbo: (-approaches False-) Hey, False, I've heard that you were asking-

False: NO.

Mumbo: (-jumps and whimpers-)

False: Oh shoot- it's just you, Mumbo... Sorry about that, but... Uh (-looks away from his face guiltily-)... A-About that question! W-What's your biggest flaw?

Mumbo: ... Sorry, was that 'flaw' or 'flaws', b-because I can do bot-

False: (-guilt-stab-)

———

Impulse: THIS BOTTLE EMPTY! (-about to throw a half-fuLL BOTTLE-) YE-

Zed: STOP! (-stands in front of him-) ARE YOU STUPID?!

Tango: No, but I am. (-snatches the bottle out of Impulse's hands and throws it immediately-) YEET!

(-the bottle showered a decent crowd of people who, needless to say, were not entirely happy-)

———

EX: I hate when guests stay over for way too long, and carry on being annoying. Like, no offense, but get out.

AC: (-stares down blankly at bound wrists and ankles-) Aw man, that must be so strange. Why would they not leave when they had to? It's not like they didn't have anywhere else to mooch about, right?

———

Joe: Look, this prank is great and all, but...

Cleo: But...?

Joe: (-scrutinises plans further-) ...

Cleo: ... Two butts?

Joe: ... (-finding out it isn't as bad as he thought-) Oh, never mind. I'm in!

Cleo: Sweet! And all it took was two butts!

———

Iskall: Why do you take so many photos?

Stress: To remember things! We tend to forget things when time passes, so I wanted to have something to look back on.

Iskall: Excuse you, I can remember things just fine.

Stress: What about in five years time?

Iskall: I remember my first day of primary school? Everyone wanted to touch me. They chased me around the playground.

Stress: Well, what about-

Iskall: IT WAS TERRIFYING.

———

Scar: Hey... (-touches Cub's shoulder-) You should take a break, you look a bit tired...

Cub: (-hasn't slept for hours-) I don't get tired, I get results-

———

Xisuma: I'm trash.

Doc: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I find that it's my duty to pick you up. Is tomorrow at 7 alright?

Xisuma: (-blushing-) You smooth freaking-

———

False: I once told EX to screw off.

EX: Wait, when did you tell me to screw off?

False: Just now, scrEW OFF-

———

Xisuma: Saying 'ha ha' doesn't make your wounds hurt less...

Doc: (-with a massive gash in his stomach-) Yes it does, ha ha (-coughs blood-)

———

Joe: Small animals are evidently more vicious: they have less space to contain all of their anger and frustration.

Cleo: What? That... That doesn't make any sense... Name one example and I'll reconsid-

Scar: Wasps.

False: Chihuahuas?

Jevin: Python.

———

Python: STOP SAYING 'I KNOW' TO EVERYTHING!

Biffa: I know.

———

(-Someone' cat is stuck and dangling from a tree-)

Stress: QUICK, SOMEONE HELP THAT CAT!!!

Scar: (-saves and takes the cat gently into his arms-)

Ren: (-jokingly-) It appears that the brave hero has been able to save the-

Scar: (-runs off with the cat-)

Xisuma: No, wait, he's just stealing it...

———

Cub: (-points at sad-looking painting) Yes, I am the embodiment of this painting

Scar: Wrong?

Doc: Cheap?

Tango: Disappointing?

Cub: I GET THE POINT-

———

Zed: I've finally gotten over my fear of evil-legend entities!

Impulse: That's the spirit!

Zed: (-screaming, hiding behind Impulse-) AH SHOOT WHERE-?!

Tango: (-eating a carrot, before smirking and hiding it behind his hands-) Really, Zed? (-acts offended-) Right in front of my human soul?

Zed and Impulse: ... oH-

Zed: Tango, I'm sorry, I didn't- waIT DID YOU JUST SAY HUMAN SOUL-?!

———

Grian: I'm the most amazing, valuable person on this team.

Mumbo: ... Did you get your hand stuck in the vending machine?

Grian: I paid for my chips, I'm getting my chips.

Iskall: (-walking by, stopping at the sight-) Wait, Grian, did you- AGAIN?! Oh my-

Mumbo: ... 'Again'?

Grian: (-blushes-) S-SHUT UP!

———

Stress: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion!

Cleo: Yeah, but that doesn't help the fact that your opinion's wrong.

———

False and Xisuma: (-chatting and walking-)

Doc and Ren: (-currently arguing from the other side of the room, though it doesn't seem to be serious arguing. After a few moments, Ren huffs, before spotting False and Xisuma-)

Ren: (-yelling across the room-) HEY! XISUMA! (-ignores confused stares he gets and Doc's mortified fake smile-glare at him-)

Xisuma: (-incredibly confused-) Uh... YES?

Ren: ARE YOU INTO DUDES?!

Xisuma: (-still confused-) Y-YES, I AM?

Ren: OK THANKS! (-turns back to Doc, who looks to be whisper-shouting at him in a slight fluster. Ren snickers-)

False: ... What was that about?

Xisuma: I... Have no idea...

(Author's note: The actual interaction was just as epic, if not more so. I promise, lol ;3!)

———

Cub: Welcome to this meeting!

Everyone else: (-cheering-)

Scar: Everyone, check under your seats!-

(-Everyone moves with much enthusiasm-)

Scar: -Because I think I saw a bug down there and I'm juST GOING TO GO-

Cub: Wait what-

———

Ren: (-pointing to an egg-) Egg.

Zedaph: Eggcelent puns!

Cleo: You crack me up!

EX: I'll break your exterior and eat your soft insides.

———

Tango: Hey guys!

Impulse and Zed: Hi! What's up?

Tango: (-slings an arm around Impulse's shoulder, pretending to be nonchalant-) So, I have plans to build this, and I (-takes out a drawn diagram, chatting on-)

Impulse: (-blushes a bit, then much more when Tango rests his head on his shoulder-)

Tango: (-sneaks a tail around Zed's waist-) Hey, Zed, have a look. (-carries on talking, though a smug smile is now on his face-)

Zed: (-blushes, staring at Tango's tail-) U-Um o-ok...!

———

Stress: (-really excitedly-) Sooo... Are you the big spoon or little spoon?

Wels: I'm the sword, that valiantly protects my two-

Jevin and Biffa: (-from across the room-) HE'S THE LITTLE SPOON!

———

Ren: Guess what I'm gonna get.

Doc: On my nerves.

———

TFC: ... EX, what is that you have in your hands?

EX: A kniFE- (-running to stab X-)

Joe, Stress and Doc: NO-!

———

Mumbo: (-after being injured by being a spoon-) Ow... My leg... Ow... My-My feelings... (-starts tearing up-)

———

Stress: (-holding up three lipsticks-) Hey, which colour do you think is better?

Iskall: (-blankly stares at them, before snatching all three of them and putting the first colour on-) Let's find out.

Stress: (-confused-) What do you-

Iskall: (-spots Ren and pulls him closer by his collar, before kissing them on the cheek-) Hm. Bit too light.

Ren and Stress: WHA-

Iskall: (-applies second lipstick and kisses Ren's other cheek-) Now, I like this one, but is it better than number three?

Stress: W-WAIT I-IS REN OK WITH THIS-

Ren: (-looking very ok with this-)

Iskall: (-applies third lipstick, pausing for a second before yanking Ren in and kissing his mouth-) ...Ok. This one is the by far the best one.

Stress: (-still surprised-) ... T-The lipstick?

Iskall: (-winks-) That, and the free kisses, yeah.

Ren: (-currently madly blushing and confused-)

———

EX: (-quite emotional-) Why... Why are my hands shaking...?

Mumbo and Xisuma: (-concerned-) Oh, I think-

Impulse: (-not paying attention-) Your skeleton is hatching.

Xisuma: What the h-

Python: (-out of nowhere, sword in hand-) OOOOOO, WANT ME TO HELP?!

Xisuma: nO-

———

Grian: (-cleaning up a prank gone wrong-)

Iskall: Hey, do you need some help?

Grian: Uh, yeah, sure-

Iskall: Great, because you missed a spot (-points at very specific mistake-)

———

Zed: Toast kinda annoys me: you toast bread and you get toast, which makes sense, but then... Why does this not apply to anything else? I mean, why you fry potatoes, you don't call them 'fry'.

Zed: (-five minutes later, with Tango and Impulse, just chilling out-) ... Wait- frIES-

Tango and Impulse: (-jump from the noise-)

Zed: ... Do you ever just reflect upon your past mistakes?

———

(Author's note: I literally CANNOT think of only one person to go into these two spaces. Name a good one for meh :-:)

Person A: I've only known Person B for an hour and a half, but if anything happened to them, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

———

Here's a (slightly dramatised) story that happened to me once.

So, I'm going on school trip that includes staying at that place overnight. Getting there will take... A long time. Luckily, my travelling-energy-buff has been activated.

For some reason, if I'm staying somewhere other than home, I usually sleep late and wake up early on the first two nights. Overall, my hunger needs decrease and my energy levels gradually increase if it's late... Because my natural night-owl-ness is somehow activated if I'm staying away from home. Great for a person that travels a lot, especially on holidays.

So anyway, back to school trip. Everyone is still on the four hour coach journey; we have about one or two hours left to go. It's pretty early in the morning- we set off at half past midnight- so it didn't take long for everyone to start getting knocked out... By sleep, mind you.

Except me, who's still awake. May I mention that no one is sitting next to me, as I sat down first and no one chose accompany me (this was the same on the return trip too...).

Being bored (and the coach also being too dark to write), I took out my phone and started reading (take a wild guess) fanfics I saved on Wattpad, because you can read saved fanfics without WiFi but can't search up new ones. Yeah. I came prepared.

For the first part, things go great. I silently giggle. Squeal. Narrate the story. That kinda stuff, y'know me. And then for some reason I drOP MY FREAKING PHONE-

It makes a big clunk sound as it hits the floor, slides past my discarded coat and just under the seat of the person in front of me. Scared to death, I whip my head this way and that but luckily, no one had woken up... But... Now, I had to get my phone back...

In the most silent way I could possibly manage, I butt-shuffle along the edge of my seat and reach down, ducking under the seat and moving my hand about. The evil seatbelt is not helping at all. I gasp a sweet wrapper by accident and restrain myself from screeching, before carrying on... And I find it!

My hand closes around my phone, as I move back up, I suddenly hit my head against the seat. It makes another clunk, I desperately move out of the way and silently become a mime and perform angrily.

The air I emit is strangled by the weird claw-hand-gestures I'm making.

But yes! I've got my phone! I start turning it on again, typing in the wrONG PASSWORD NO- the stupidly loud buzz sound rings out like a siren; I curse my luck, checking about frantically.

But no one stirs.

... Typing in my password, very very carefully and slowly, I finally... Finally get back on. The screen displays my wonderful fanfiction and I can finally, FINALLY finish reading it-

My phones's at twenty-eight percent. I still need some for the entire journey in case of emergency, and we have around four to six hours or travelling left.

... Why does life hate me?
————————————————

Twas tagged also :3 10 facts about AC! And I guess irl me?

Nickname?
AC! That's my name, don't wear it out ;3

Uhhh if you define 'nickname' as a name I'm called a lot, then either:

1) The shortened version of my irl name
2) That one (ethnicity) girl/ 'same-or-similar-ethnicity-as-me's sIsTeR' (not)
3) Occasionally, a word I'm not supposed to say

Eye colour?
Black! Or super, super duper deep dark brown!

Black pits of abyss that stare right into your soul.

Hair colour?
Also (-flips ponytail-) black!

Black river of abyss that if whipped, stings.

One fact about you?
I'm getting better at flying, with some help from a certain dragon senpai ;3. If dat was a bit obvious... Then... Ooo, I call only the most important people I look up to senpai! Can chu tell I REALLY REALLY love and respect and look up to dis community : D?

It's true. Irl, I call only one friend that. But a fact about my irl self...? Hm... Oh, I guess this is true for both AC and my irl self. I have a 'bad' habit of drawing/ writing on my inner arms, mostly around the area from wrist to elbow bend. This is shown through exaggerated scribbles on AC's arms, and random notes/ reminders on irl me's.

Favourite colour?
Purple! But also blue... And green- all cold colours? But fiery colours are fun too, and pastel colours- neon colours are glowy and glowy is, fun but powdery colours are soft, and saturated colours can bleed, but not as well as inked ones and-

I like most colours. If it can look good, then I'll probably like it. In my personal opinion though, purple looks the best in the most different ways/styles/saturations etc etc. and orange looks the worst. There's just... Really not a lot of ways orange can look better to me... Which is ironic since orange is Scar's favourite colour and that's one of AC's dads.

Favourite place?
Surrounded by the people I love! ; D!

Home. Take that whichever way you want. I personally would like to view it through the same thought process as AC.

Favourite celebrity?
... Do my dads' rivals or my dads count? OwO

... Who?

Favourite song?
I have so many : D!!! Any music that can make me feel a totally new emotion, or better the one I'm currently feeling! I like happy music as well, though sad music is calming... :3

Yeah, I have a lot. Don't have any favourite anything's though, so... If you want a song that I can relate to though, AC would be one of those nice, happy, sweet ones... Like... 'Would you be so kind' or 'Love Me like You' or 'I Do Adore' or 'Sugar' or 'The Nights' etc.

Irl me, on the other hand... I tend to prefer electronic-pop... I don't know what it's called. That music that sounds... Hopeful, full of feeling and... Leave an impression on you. Artists like Avicii, Maroon 5, Alan Walker, Shawn Mendes and TheFatRat are ones I remember wanting to listen to at times.

That got way too deep weLP-

Favourite animal?
Wolf! No, falcon! No, dolphin, or shark, what about lions? Or mini wolf and lions? Butterflies and moths? Bunnies? Or myTHICAL ANIMALS I-

No favourites. But most pet-animals seem lenient enough.

Favourite book?
Too many to choose from aCK- nuuu XX

No favourites. I'd say any book you could feel compelled to reread, because it had such an interesting or simple (simple, not basic) plot. David Walliams are nice in the winter, especially around Christmas... When everything is quiet. Magical. Secure.

Tags?
I tag one person and one person only. That person is Bird senpai every single time >;3.

(Side note: I'm going on holiday! Sorry if there may be a lack of comments, and sorry if this chapter is quite short as well: I really, really wanted to do a good job, but even though I started collecting these things since the 23rd, I still think it's a tad short... :/)