A short, stupid series in which I occasionally jump into the HC world with my Author Majicks (@thebirdfantasy -finger guns-) and screw around with the hermits... BuT wItH a BoDy ! My favourite/ main power I like to use will be shape-shifting and (obviously) 'written reality' (I write, it happens).

Oh yeah and... I should probably keep adding dis at the start too...

Headcannons in last chapter:
-Iskall and Grian both get jealous easily, but react differently. Iskall pulls out a sword first and gets sad later, whereas Grian gets sad first and pulls out a TNT cannon he borrowed from Mumbo later.
-Ren is a werewolf/ wolf hybrid, and one of the sixish hybrids on the server (not including our darling Convex, because they have vex magic, but aren't vex hybrids).
-False is tough and always likes to spar with Iskall (and tease him about Ren at the same time. From this though, Iskall has become better at not blushing as easy... Unless Ren is actually there.)

Headcannons in this chapter:
-Stress is an angel. And knows about Grian and Poultry Man, and how he 'targets' Mumbo a load more, but a lot easier as an excuse to see how he's doing and in case Mumbo needs some emotional support.
-Impulse and Zed are forever looking after their boyfri- BEST FFFFRIEND Tango.
-EX is X's older brother, and he's kinda technically the most evil villain, but that's mostly because his plans sometimes goof up out of control (EX always secretly, in the very deepest depths of his heart, feels at least a little bad when this happens).
-Wels occasionally speaks in fancy knight talk.
-Mumbo doesn't really blush that much, unless he's really hot or sick (yes, kinda stole this off of a fanfic of Ren making a load of hermits blush that I currently can't remember the name of but it's amazing and I don't own it-).
-Badbutt Mumbo is a pro at flying and PvP (so basically, all the stuff that usually makes Mumbo a quiet, goofy spoon is completely reversed). Oh, and when he's in this mode, he doesn't get flustered at all until later, when he's alone and able to comprehend what he's done.

Also I'm kinda a bit delirious because of a certain... Event... In the lunar cycle...
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"Heyyyyy."

Scar turned around, coming face to face with a short girl with a black ponytail and startlingly dark brown eyes. She wore a purple hoodie and black leggings, and had pair of wolf ears and tail.

"Um... Hello? Who are you?" Scar asked carefully, putting his extra building blocks in his inventory.

The girl winked at him, her open eye turning the exact same as his for a brief second. Scar shook his head immediately- he must have been hallucinating the colour change, because as soon as he looked back again, her eyes were back to the same black-brown shade.

"No one much. Just... Someone you wouldn't want to mess with... Pffft... Sorry, Scar, I'll meet up with you later, I hope we can be good friends, darling! Oh... And... Merry Christmas."

With that, she disappeared, leaving the said hermit extremely creeped out.

"It's the middle of spring..." He whispered hoarsely, deciding that now it'd be a very good idea to go back to Cub.
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(Author's note: Is there such a thing as- never mind. Get ready for a super dumb carol (based off of the Yan-Chan version) collage of me screwing with a few hermits.)
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"Creeping through the snow,
Watching Doc head back home..."

The girl followed the creeper-robot hybrid as he went back to his base, falling into bed immediately. Then she noticed a few notes scattered on his desk, all various things about...

"The Jingler... VS the Jangler? Huh... I'm... Liking the first one... Nice name..."

"Thinking bout villains,
Who won't leave him alone!
I'll make this problem right,
And wait until it's night,
These pufferfish are sure to put up a jolly fight!"

When morning came, Doc slowly opened his eyes, staring at the glimmering sun. He smiled, and got out of bed to-

"noOOO WHAT ON-"

Docm77 was slain by J-J-J-JINGLED!

"Oh! Jingle bells,
Diorite smells,
Or that's what Iskall shouts,
So I'm giving him
A new statue
To moan about!"

"What is this-this-ugly bird poop pile doing in my base?!" A shocked Iskall yelled. He did not expect to come back to his base to see a huge, lump of diorite covering most of his base's surface area. A sign right on top, like the cherry on a really ugly sundae, read in very neat letters 'JINGLED!'.

The swede groaned loudly before taking out a pickaxe, and lighting a fire. There was going to be a lot of diorite-burning today...

"OH! Jingle bells,
Tango's not well,
And he's seen better days...
So to help,
I'll yeet a load of
Sand in his big cave!"

With a sniff, Tango woke up to the faint sound of sand falling. He honestly didn't want to get out of bed, and neither did Impulse nor Zed want him to, but this was too strange: he didn't have any machine in his base that could cause such a sound.

Stalking out of his warm covers, the part-demon hermit shuffled towards the source of the sound, only to discover a sign with curly writing on it blocking his path.

"Jingled? What's that supposed to-" Tango looked out in front of him, to see a glimpse of his fairy-grotto-cave completely covered with a thick layer of sand, before the sound of sand falling again came above him and-

TangoTek suffocated in a wall

"Cause X is feeling sad,
From EX being dumb,
I'll give him coloured glass,
To enhance the bright as sun!"

X mumbled to himself angrily, having skimmed over EX's name in the list of people who had ever come onto the server. It was quite annoying, to say the least, to keep having to fight off your own older brother in whatever dastardly plan he'd try to use to take over the server. Consecutively.

With a sigh, he closed his admin commands tab and his C.P.S.T altogether, taking off his helmet and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Perhaps some fresh sunlight could help- X had been cooped up in his not-exactly-bright base for a while now, and he didn't really like his eyes becoming too used to the darkness.

His helmet remained in X's hands casually, in case anyone were to unexpectedly swing by. Unless that was Doc, in which he wouldn't be as bothered about his actual face being seen (except for his slight helmet-hair... X found himself subconsciously tidying it up...). One last bubble column to take him upwards and the brilliance of the... Midday! Midday sun would be upon him.

"AaaaAAAAAHHHH!!! MY FRICKING EYES!!! OH MY GOOOOOOO-"

A dome of rainbow coloured glass spelling out the (simply written) word 'jingled' surrounded his base, turning the already intensely bright sun into the power source of a rainbow-light-death-trap for the eyes of whoever was inside it. X not wearing his helmet and having his eyesight used to the darkness down below only made things much worse...

The increased heat did speed up the torture process rather nicely tho-

Xisumavoid burned to death after experiencing a rainbow

"Let's welcome Jevin back,
With every splash potion,
Under hidden pressure plates,
To cause more commotion!"

Ah. Home sweet home. Jevin had only just returned from a holiday, and though it was fun, coming back to the server felt nice. It was also quite lovely to walk back up his own port, and unlock his door without any hassle-

SPLASH!

A regeneration potion was thrown at him from seemingly nowhere, with the blue slime hermit only just being able to dodge it. A piece of paper followed, reading 'JINGLED!' in an almost signature-like font.

"What was that all about?" Jevin said out loud. He now had eight minutes of regeneration, from an unknown source, that he didn't need. "Well, it came from around the left, so... Maybe..."

The rich hermit drew out his sword and started poking around... Which didn't help at all, the potions just kept flying at him from random directions the more he looked around. By the end of it, he had so many potions working on him at once that the particles alone were almost blinding him (never mind the blindness!).

"UGH! W-WHO DID THIS?!" He yelled, trying to walk out, but running into a wall by accident with his swiftness, leaving a thing blue trail... And then jerking around from poison and nausea.

"Oh! Jingle bells,
Stressy sells,
Ice blocks from her home,
Let's give her companions
So that she won't be alone!"

The 'ice queen' of the server's shop had made a few more sales today, and she couldn't be happier. However, it did mean a new trip to the further reaches of her and Iskall's shared iceberg-cluster to restock her chests. That wasn't too bad though, and she was done relatively quickly- about five stacks would be enough for now.

Very pleased with herself, Stress few back in the direction of her home, grinning when she saw the tallest stone brick towers of her castle appear over the horizon. As she drew near though, Stress could gradually hear the growing sound of...

"Chickens? On my base? What?" Stress said, incredulous. Such a mob couldn't spawn here; had Gri- Poultry Man decided to egg her...?

When she finally could see a bird's eye view of her base, she involuntarily gasped in astonishment. Every single square inch of her roof was completely enveloped in thousands of hundreds of chickens. There were so many, some were still spilling off, and many had already exploded into their items.

Stress severally hoped none had gotten inside.

Right in the centre of the masses of white feathers, a single chest lay proudly. The still astounded hermit swooped down quickly, landing on top of the chest and skilfully extracting a single book from inside. It had no enchantment shine, nor any design or link special to it.

In all caps, one word adorned the first new, blank page. 'J I N G L E D!'. Another check of the book revealed to Stress the author and name.

'No, I'm not Poultry Man. By the Jingler.'

"OH! Jingle bells,
Now for Wels,
To have a better day!
If he needs wood,
Then he should,
Expect the need to pay!"

Wels had checked in every chest he had, and his inventory, but no luck. He was pretty much fresh out of wood, which sucked, because that meant that in order to finish his new plans...

"I'm going to either need to buy some from Ren for ridiculous prices... Or axe down so many trees, my axe breaks... Oh, that wolfy barbarian is going to absolutely rejoice in my riches!" The knight grumbled, taking his shulker box of diamonds with him and opening the door to see that...

A forrest had sprouted up out of nowhere around Wels' base. Half of the trees were normal, four-wood thick spruce trees but the others seemed to be man-made in a range of different styles: some looked like work worthy of Scar, some like the remains of one of Mumbo's redstone tree-fellers, some in the middle. Regardless of this fact, free wood was free wood, and Wels excitedly ran forward with every intention of felling the majority of the forrest (some could stay though- it was nice scenery, after all).

CLICK!

"Wha-AHHHHH-UMPH!"

In his hurry, the elated hermit had completely missed the tripwire right in front of him, that had removed the floor beneath his feet and replaced it with a (now) ceiling of obsidian. The ceiling matched the wall and floor- every face of the room was covered in the purple stuff, though was lit well and contained a single chest on one side.

Wels stood up, cursing whoever had placed the trap there for not killing him from fall damage- that, at least, would be less embarrassing than this. He may as well check out the chest through..,

Only a book lay innocently inside. He got as far as the title of 'How to get out' before Wels immediately opened it, freezing when he discovered there was only one page with (barely legible) words on it.

"... Dear whoever fell in the pit, considering that you've taken this book out, you've also activated the obsidian-wall replacers, so there's not any point in trying to mine/blast out anymore. So just put twenty one of the purple stuff in the chest and you'll be free to kill all the trees you want. Sincerely, the... Jingler...? Wait..."

Wels quickly checked his pickaxe durability. More than half down, in the orangey-red. Not enough to mine twenty one blocks...

"NOOOOO!"

"While Ren runs away,
With Falsey on his tail,
Let's shrink down False and make him
The speed of a snail!"

"FALSEY, PLEASE DON'T KILL MEEE!"

"GET BACK HERE, AND MAYBE WE CAN DISCUSS THAT PROPOSITION!"

"NO, BECAUSE YOU'LL KILL ME!"

"DARN RIGHT I WIIIIiiillll...!"

Ren slowed down immediately, turning around. False's voice had turned gradually smaller, and as he turned around...

Actually. Around and down. A small False, about a quarter of his leg up, was only just able to hold up her now huge diamond sword and was shaking with the weight.

"W-W-What happened?!" False squeaked, giving up with trying to hold the sword upright, dropping it with a clang. She looked a lot less scary when... So small... And certainly felt that way as she stared up at Ren's suddenly humongous height.

The said hermit bit his lip to try and suppress his growing laughter, barking a snicker or two out anyway. He started walking away with an easy gait to mess with False, but found out... Taking a single step had suddenly become much harder...

"W-What's this about?!"

False watched in immense intrigue as Ren's foot ever, ever, ever-so slowly touched the ground, and his other foot ever-so slowly lifted a few millimetres off of the ground before bursting into giggles. Ren tried glaring at her, but was constricted by his neck taking forever to turn.

"HA! That's karma for you, Re-"

A large piece of paper blanketed False out of no-where. Ren rolled his eyes. "Karma, hm? Seems like something the Jingler really likes."
False was about to ask what he meant, when Ren's eyes moved to the piece of paper. A single word was scrawled (in a clearly rough fashion) on it: 'JINGLED! JINGLED!'

"As Cub's working hard,
On another big project,
He deserves this gift
I just know he won't reject!"

'One more improvement'. That's what he told Scar, and what he'd gone back on his word in, and in turn the reason why Scar was restraining him. With a death hug.

"Scar... Let... Go... Of... Me!" Cub wheezed, thrashing around once again to try and escape Scar's arms. He didn't kick too hard, because wasn't too uncomfortable in Scar's ar- UM WAIT- NO- he didn't kick to hard so as not to hurt Scar!

"No, Cub! Stop straining yourself!" Scar mumbled, pulling Cub tighter into his embrace (t-to restrain him better, of course...). "Besides, that weird girl's still here, and I don't know what I'd do if she took advantage of this!"

Cub stilled, and shook his head slowly. It had been a few days ago that Scar had come running into the cake factory, scared out of his wits by a supposed 'magic girl creature' he'd never seen before. He'd already tried many times to calm his vex partner that she couldn't have been real if she wasn't whitelisted, because no one they didn't know was, but Scar was firmly convinced she still existed.

Since that period of time too, the Jingler had been busily messing with many different hermits with a range pranks with hardly any pattern. The only clue any of them had was the fact that the Jingler always left their signature, in many different fonts. Whoever it was was extremely good at evading capture... Sherlock Grian and the Convex were baffled beyond their minds. Anyway...

Cub still adamantly refused to believe in the existence of the girl Scar had described, until he himself saw her in the fl-

"Awww... Was I interrupting something?"

The Convex's eyes snapped around to see... Sherlock Grian? Yes, there was no doubt about it- it was Grian, in his detective outfit, with a relaxed posture, hand on hip and a cocky smirk. His trademark quizzical eyebrows competed the look of utter sass.

"Mm-mm-mm! Cuddling? In such plain sight as well, my my, aren't you getting courageous, little vexes? I almost feel bad... But I've got to have a keepsake of this moment..."

SNAP!

The click of Grian's camera made the two vexes snap out of it, blushing and springing apart instantaneously, about to start chasing the younger hermit when he flew off, as sneakily as he arrived. Cub growled, motioning to Scar to get us with him, grabbing his diamond sword strewn on the floor from earlier.

"Come on, Scar. Let's give our fellow detective a nice surprise when he gets back to his base..."

"Oh! Jingle bells,
Well, well, well,
What do have here?
The detectives are
Confused over
All the good cheer?"

"What is going on- CUB, WHY DID YOU- WHAT-"
"I think you already know why, Grian! Delete the picture, and you can leave!"
"Cub, calm down-"
"I WILL WHEN HE DELETES THE PICTURE!"

Grian resisted the urge to groan. "I've told you Cub, I didn't take any picture, I wasn't even at the Convex country club just now!"

"Oh yeah? And what proof do you have, when we blatantly saw you there?!" Cub seethed, shrugging off a gentle hand on his shoulder from Scar.

"Ask Mumbo! I was literally with him the entire time, discussing random stuff! And you know he won't lie, if you honestly don't trust me!"

"Fine! Scar, get Mumbo here, and I don't care what he's doing because I'm not letting Grian go unless Mumbo can give a good reason why!"

Scar jumped at the sound of his name, speeding off quickly. A little while later, he returned, Mumbo behind him... However... Something was... Off... Mumbo had landed on both of his feet firmly, and immediately started undoing the rope tying Grian. Both Scar and Grian tried winced and tried signalling to Cub not to provoke him any further once they figured out why, but alas, he didn't get it.

"Mumbo- what are do you think-?!"

The usually quietest member of the Architechs slowly turned around after undoing the last knot, lifting his head up to face Cub, who visibly gulped. Oh no. Mumbo Jumbo's eyes were blazing. He was absolutely livid.

"Hm, I don't know, maybe freeing Grian?! You know? From being kidnapped for NO REASON?! Oh wait, of course, you don't trust him, don't you, and you expect me to be a good little witness and just idly give my story. WHILE MY BEST FRIEND IS BEING SHOUTED AT! FOR. NO. REASON!!! WE WERE TOGETHER THE WHOLE TIME, END OF STORY! Do I make myself clear, Cub?"

The moustache hermit had progressively been taking steps closer to Cub, jerking a hand roughly behind him in the general direction of Scar, who shakily complied with the clear instruction: 'You're not involved, get out of the way before I decide you are.' Once he'd finished, Cub had been backed up to a wall in a half-lean, and was nodding fearfully.

As soon as an agreement was reached, Mumbo marched back, picked up Grian easily (who squeaked and blushed) and coldly glared at Cub once more before he flew off perfectly. The two vexes both breathed a deep sigh of relief as he left.

But that still left the same unanswered question- if Grian really hadn't taken the picture... Then... Who was it that did?...

"OH! Jingle bells,
This is swell,
Though it's only spring,
And though I'm not
The true 'Jingler'
It has sure has a nice ring!"

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All through the server, the week had been hectic for all of them- someone that went by the alias 'The Jingler' had inflicted each and every one of them with a prank... Except Scar, who was now very paranoid. To make things worse, no one could identify who it was, because every time, they used a different signature font and a completely different prank. It was total, absurd and extremely well planned chaos.

(Author's note: Some were done off-camera because I couldn't fit them all in the song.)

Then, by the next week, everybody's base that hadn't already been haphazardly 'tidied' was fixed as if nothing had happened. As if everyone wasn't confused enough, Python and Cleo then told them all that they had both kept watch through (almost) half the night each, but had noticed nothing. Python had stayed up until eleven at night, and Cleo had woken up at one in the morning.

Two hours. That was an impossible amount of time to take to clean up pretty much every hermits' base.

Scar was just thinking about this in his head when he saw it. Then he saw it. The single book in the middle of his room. The vex already knew that it was coming, but was still genuinely baffled at how recent the book must have been dropped- within five minutes- and... How... Everything... Looked... The same?

No, he wasn't hallucinating. Literally nothing had changed. Repeating this in his head, Scar took a deep breath and snatched up the book, expecting the worst...

But it didn't come. What?

Was it -dare he think it- actually... Safe?

The builder looked around twice before finally letting his eyes land on the book again. 'Scar, you can't rig items to explode. By the Jingler.' ... Well... In that case... Scar opened the book, seeing the same only-one-page-has-words layout Stress and Wels has descibed and the new font choice of half-joined half-not letters.

"Dear Scar, this is your prank, darling. Oh, and yeah, I know it's the middle of spring... But Merry Christmas anyway. PS. No, I don't think anyone will believe you." He read slowly. A memory surfaced in his head, and the wording of the book then suddenly made sense. Scar moaned in anguish. That girl really was telling the truth...

Wait... Scar's face paled... If that were so...

Did she... Brainwash Grian?!
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Author's note
Anyone who don't get it, the words are written the same as the girl (or, me) spoke when she first met Scar. The prank I did on Scar was to tell him blatantly that she was responsible for the pranks, while both of them knew no one would believe him.

The 'that girl really was telling the truth' part refers to when she described herself as 'someone you wouldn't want to mess with'. Scar hasn't quite figured out my shape-shifting abilities just yet though...

WOW THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG TO COMPLETE I-

Enjoy!