*duct taping the chapter together*

Okay! So this is something different. I write a loooooooot of random little drabbles in my spare time, so here are a bunch of them just sort of duct taped together, because I have no time or motivation for proper writing!

Enjoy!

#1: This is just called "Hels Is An Idiot ™" in my drabbles doc
Hurt/Comfort, babyy
Hex and Badtimes
Unfinished
TW for injury :D
(yes I'm supposed to keep the hex in the other oneshot book shhhhhh it'd be weird if I made two separate drabbles chapters)

The moment Hels walked in, Xay knew something was up.

"What'd you do this time?" he sighed, standing up to meet the Netherborn Champion. Hels huffed, but there was clear pain in his eyes.

"Nothing," and his voice was strained. "I need to get to my room."

"It's his arm," Badtimes remarked from behind them. "His right one." Hels shot Badtimes a glare.

"There's nothing wrong with my arm," Hels said firmly. "Now, if you'll excuse me-"

"Take off your armor," Badtimes's voice was bored, but after being close friends with him, Xay knew the tone was only to hide his worry.

Xay reached to take Hels's elbow guard off himself, only for his hand to be swatted away.

"Oh, you are so hiding something," Xay grumbled, and Badtimes stood up too, probably getting ready to force the information out of Hels.

"It's not important," Hels insisted.

"Sure, sure," Badtimes scoffed. "Get over yourself. Sit down." Hels sighed, knowing a losing fight when he saw one, and sat down on the floor, Badtimes and Xay nearby. Hels took off the bit of armor that covered up his arm.

"Either roll up your sleeve or I take off your shirt," Badtimes snapped. "And while I'm sure someone here certainly wouldn't mind the latter, I don't want to have to deal with him drooling over you." Xay let out what was best described as a squeak.

"Piece of magma," he grumbled. Badtimes snickered and Hels sighed before pulling up his sleeve.

The reaction was instant.

Xay scrambled back while both of Badtimes's hands flew to his mouth. Hels groaned and used his left hand to run a hand through his hair.

"You two are so overdramatic," he sighed. "It's like you've never seen blood before."

"What were you, stabbed??" Xay shrieked.

What Xay had expected was some normal cut, but this more resembled someone driving a blade into Hels's arm and twisting it around.

"I'm getting a healing potion and some bandages," Badtimes said. "Try not to make out while I'm gone. Or do. I don't care." He walked away, leaving the other two alone.

"He's so stupid," Xay grumbled. Hels cackled loudly as a response.

"Bothered by the idea?" he teased. Xay snorted.

"You wish I wasn't,"

"I bet you aren't."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

Hels laughed again, jokingly leaning closer. Xay smirked and replicated the action. Now they were inches away from each other, neither of them having any idea what they were doing.

Hels placed both his hands on Xay's, and for a second, it looked like they were going to kiss. Xay's heart froze in place, the previous lighthearted aura trashed by something far more real and organic.

And crap, he couldn't deny the blush on his cheeks. It all came seeping in when the realization hit, and suddenly, he probably could've just melted into a puddle right then and there.

Void-forsaken stars, Xay thought. What am I thinking?? I don't like him. That's just some dumb thing Badtimes came up with. I don't-

Hels scooped up both his hands and used them to pull him a fraction of an inch closer.

Scud.

And then he was shoved backwards, landing hard on his back as Hels burst out laughing.

"Not quite what I expected to come back to," Badtimes remarked. "But okay." He came over, setting down the medical supplies before getting to work.

Hels let out a soft hiss as the potion hit his skin. Healing potions came with their own sting, but well worth it for the magic they did.

Badtimes kept going, Hels muttering a string of curses as he went. Xay came closer, placing a hand on Hels's thigh and gently tracing shapes. Maybe Xay was imagining it, but Hels seemed to relax into the touch, even just a little.

"There," Badtimes sighed, dropping the roll of bandages. "Done. Now don't do this dangerous crap again!"

"Aw, it's like you care about me," Hels snickered.

"Oh, heck no," he scoffed. "That's Xay's job. I've never seen him be gentle with anyone."

"I wouldn't have been if he didn't look so much like a kicked strider!" Xay protested. "Honestly, Hels, suck it up!"

"I'll stab you in the arm, then we'll talk," Hels shot back.

"Agreed," Badtimes laughed. "You're the most emotional out of all of us."

"I am not!" Xay argued. "That'd be you, Badtimes."

"Nah," Hels chuckled. "I'll prove it."

Wait what-

Hels grabbed Xay's shirt with his uninjured arm and pulled him dangerously close, their lips only centimeters apart. Xay gasped, eyes going wide.

And then, as quick as it happened, it was gone when Hels let him go, turning to Badtimes with a triumphant expression.

"Dang, that was too mean," Badtimes sounded disapproving. Hels rolled his eyes.

And to Xay's shock, he turned back to him and gently kissed his cheek.

"Better?" Hels's voice was mocking.

Badtimes grinned.

"Yes, actually," he replied, standing up and making a show of dusting off his hands. "Thank you ever so much for making my job as matchmaker that much easier, by falling right into my trap. Have fun, gays!"

And with that, Badtimes swept off, leaving Hels and Xay both in shock.

"I hate him," Xay finally spoke, breaking the silence.

Hels chuckled, but otherwise didn't say anything, just stared at Xay. The soldier shifted in his spot, a heated red creeping onto his face.

I hate to say that's as far as I got LMAO
y'all can imagine the ending sjkdhfsfdkl

#2: Evil
Angst (?) maybe more like Flangst
Xisuma and Ex
Finished-ish
TW for combat

"Ex, you don't have to do this," Xisuma whispered, a hand hovering over his sword, but not drawing it from its sheath. "It doesn't have to be like this."

"Coward," Ex spat out. "You and I both know this is how it's meant to be."

The evil clone lunged forward, sword clashing against the Admin's. Neither backed down, neither dared to.

The outcome of the battle was practically predetermined, though.

One brother was regretful, the other vengeful.

"Please, Ex," Xisuma tried again, holding him off. "You don't have to be like this."

"I do," the clone spat back, fighting relentlessly. "Don't you get it? I was born this way. I can't escape it."

There was a clash as Ex knocked Xisuma's sword out of his hand.

"Yes, you can," Xisuma fought back his fear and kept going. "Listen to me. Please."

The floor was kicked out from beneath Xisuma, and Ex had Xisuma with his back against the ground, the cool silver blade at his throat.

"Ex," Xisuma whispered, eyes wide with fear. "Just because you were born bad doesn't make you evil."

And with those words, everything changed.

"Liar," Ex shouted. "You're a liar."

"It's a choice," he continued. "Everything you do adds up to who you are. And frankly, being born doesn't count to that. I... I didn't always understand that. Ex, I was wrong."

The Admin took a breath.

"Please, please... forgive me."

And then both hands clutched the sword, raising it into the air.

Purple eyes went wide with realization.

And the blade came down.

The pain never hit.

Xisuma blinked his eyes open only to see the sword stabbed into the ground right beside him.

And more importantly, Ex was... gone.

I stole the line "Just because you were born bad doesn't make you evil." from a show because it really resonated with me, props to you if you know where it's from!

#3:  A Diabolical Ringtone
Fluff
Hex (another one lmao)
Finished
No TWs :D
(what if communicators had ringtones.)

EX chatted with Hels as they walked through the Nether. It was pretty calm, which was rather surprising, considering both were troublemakers, and-

EX's communicator started going off.

I'm looking around and I'm left thinking that you're pitiful,

"Crap," EX muttered, not even registering his ringtone for a second. "Give me a moment."

Maybe I'm cynical, but this place makes me miserable.

EX held it up, seeing that it was Xisuma who was calling.

Hels's snickers snapped him back to reality, and only then did he realize just what happened.

Crap. Crap crap crap.

Out of instinct, EX quickly hung up, shooting Xisuma a quick message that simply read 'Not now'.

"Is that- is that seriously your ringtone?" Hels cackled.

"Sh- shut up!!" EX sputtered, his face flaming.

"You actually chose," Hels said. "To hear my voice every time someone calls you?"

Not my fault your voice is hot, EX's brain grumbled.

"Yeah," EX retaliated instead of voicing his thoughts. "Got a problem?"

"I think it's cute," Hels's voice was prodding a reaction out of EX.

"Well- you- uh-" EX fought for a clever reply and came out with nothing.

"Your face is red," Hels spoke with mock innocence. "Something wrong?"

"I'm going to kill you," EX muttered. "Screw you."

"Whatever you say," Hels smirked, his tone remaining teasing.

"My dignity won't recover from this, will it?" EX sighed.

"I would say no," Hels snarked. "But you never had any."

"Hey!"

The second-hand embarrassment is strong with this one.

#4: Dystopian Beetho AU
Flangsty? Hurt/comfort? One of the two-
Beetho and Xisuma
Unfinished
TW for near-death, mentions of explosions and shattered glass, uhhh... it's dystopian so the world is not a pretty place akjdhs

Beef blinked his eyes open to the sound of blaring sirens. A fuzzy memory of another attacked building raged through, shattered glass, loud explosions, Etho's terrified face-

Etho.

Sitting up, the movement quick enough to make him lightheaded, Beef let out a sigh of relief when he saw Etho lying nearby. He was unconscious and bleeding from a thousand cuts- apparently Beef hadn't protected him from the shattered glass. He didn't bother trying to check his own injuries, just scooped Etho up and held him close.

He was all Beef had left. The love of his life, the most important thing in the world to Beef, and he might die.

Beef buried his face in matted hair that was once snowy white. If anyone would've come, he might've called out. But instead, he waited, eyes squeezed shut and heart beating like a drum, Etho's much more fragile one close behind.

He opened his eyes again to see a figure in the distance.

They came closer, and Beef held Etho tighter. If they wanted to take a life, let it be his own. So long as Etho would stay safe.

The stranger came close. He wore green armor and had a gray helmet with a purple visor. Beef glanced him up and down, he seemed rather intimidating. Could probably end both of them right now.

Beef looked away, just clutched Etho to his chest and waited for the interaction to begin.

And to his surprise, it didn't begin with a word.

The armored stranger held out a bottle filled with a strange red liquid. Maybe it was the bright color against the dark, dystopian background, or maybe Beef was going crazy, but the bottle seemed to glow. The stranger uncorked it and pressed the rim to Etho's lips. Etho didn't react.

It could be poison, Beef realized. This person could be sick and twisted enough to make him die in my arms.

Etho whined and moved his head away, burying it into Beef's chest. Beef hushed him and looked back up at the stranger. The stranger exhaled softly, then spoke,

"Trust me,"

And by the stars, something about the way he said it set Beef off the right way. A gut response that couldn't be ignored. He took the bottle and pressed it to Etho's lips again, and this time, he drank the contents.

Nothing happened for a second, but Beef's jaw dropped when the effects came into play.

Almost like magic, the wounds on Etho closed themselves up, leaving only a temporary, soft red glow. His whole body warmed up, not unpleasantly, for a moment before everything returned to normal.

"What-" Beef breathed out, his words cut off by Etho opening his eyes with a gasp. His gaze flickered from Beef to the strange person, blinking a couple of times in confusion.

"Thank you," Beef whispered, talking to the stranger. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he responded. "My name is Xisuma. Xisuma Void."

"Vintage Beef, but they just call me Beef," he replied, holding out his hand to shake. "And this is Etho."

Once again. Hate to say that's as far as I got.

#5: Do I smell prOJECTION-
Flangst
Badtimes and mentioned EX
Finished
TW for mentions of blood/blades/shattered glass

Lying on the bed, alone in the dark, Badtimes wondered if any of it was normal.

Do other people blow up at practically anything, do other people have red tint their vision, do other people see blades and blood and shattered glass with every light frustration?

And of course, that was only scratching the surface of all the things that made him wonder what was 'normal' or not.

Sure, he could ask Scar, but there would come the response of "normal is subjective" and "you're wonderful the way you are" and "there's nothing wrong with you".

Sweet, yes, but one can only stomach so much sugar.

And yes, he could ask Hels or EX, but then all he'd hear would be "we all already know you're not normal" and "relax, you storybook character".

Not at all unappreciated, it was nice to have someone to bring one down to earth, but still not helpful.

Then of course, he could always try and think of it for himself, as who needs to be reliant on others opinions, anyways?

Red eyes narrowed as a small sigh escaped him, shifting his position ever so slightly.

If there was anything he hated, it was thoughts like these.

"Ay, Badtimes!" EX's voice called out from somewhere else in the Fortress, startling Badtimes into sitting up. "You coming?"

The Helsmit grinned.

"Coming," he called back. "Hold your magma cubes."

And when he left the room, all the bad thoughts stayed behind.

yes I'm fine shhhh anger issues what're those

#6: Early Morning Beetho Fluff
Tooth rotting fluff. Like, have toothpaste on board kinda fluff.
Beetho. Duh. /lh
Finished
No TWs!

Beef woke up to the feeling of something moving beside him.

He blinked his eyes open, and there laid a snow-haired angel, curled up next to him, Beef smiled, watching as Etho nestled closer, melting into his touch. Beef drew him in, breathing in the scent of his hair before burying his face in the soft white fluff.

It was early mornings like these that Beef loved, when sunlight leaked in from the windows, when Etho was too tired to care about how clingy he was being. When Etho's mask, headband, and gloves lay on their bedside table, allowing Beef to appreciate his full beauty, when Beef was able to force Etho to sleep the night before, his efforts would pay off through the gemstone in his arms.

Etho shifted, then tilted his head up, sleepy heterochromatic eyes blinking open. Beef pressed a kiss to his forehead, and Etho buried his face in Beef's neck, sighing softly in content.

Beef had to consciously fight the urge to melt into a puddle right then and there.

"Mmm, morning, Beefers," Etho murmured, pulling back and sitting up. Beef sat up as well, taking one of Etho's bare hands and kissing it. He heard Etho's breath catch in his throat, and his heart swelled, practically unable to contain the love he felt.

"Morning, snowflake," Beef chuckled at the blush that dusted Etho's cheeks. He stood up, and Etho reached to take his mask.

Beef grinned and snatched it off the table before Etho could take it. Etho glanced at him, the question on his face answered upon seeing the mischievous glint in Beef's eyes.

"Oh, you-" Etho grumbled, getting up to take his mask from Beef.

"Nope," Beef said, smiling. "You're going to let me admire your beautiful face for at least a little longer before you get this." Etho huffed and tried to take the mask from Beef, but he just held it above his head. The two were about the same height, so neither of them had an advantage nor disadvantage.

The other of Beef's hands found its way to Etho's hair, combing through silvery strands as Etho tried to steal the mask away. Breathless laughter started escaping Etho, until he was leaning on Beef, giggling too much to be able to properly try and take his mask back. Beef stayed silent, blue eyes twinkling with joy, watching his lover struggle to regain his composure.

"Tell you what," Beef said. "Give me a kiss, and I'll give it to yo-"

His words were cut off by Etho connecting their lips in a sweet kiss, one that Beef could easily melt into, knotting his fingers in Etho's soft hair. It was like being dipped in starlight, shimmering and sweet. They broke apart and stayed locked in eye contact, neither wanting to ruin the moment.

After a second, Beef handed Etho his mask, grunting as Etho lightheartedly smacked his chest before taking the fabric and putting it on.

"You're the worst," he muttered, though his eyes were crinkled in a smile. Beef laughed.

"You love me,"

"I do."

They both smiled. 

Gotta love the beetho.

Woo! Okay! That's it! Watt says this is over 2800 words so like around 2000 of actual writing KDHKJDS

-Storm