Cracky fluff? 

YES?!

I'd like to clarify that this oneshot will look like Impulse shipping from the beginning all the way to the climax. I promise it isn't, but it will certainly look like it. Just hear me out.

And I had not title motivation. Again.

So just idiots.

No warnings!

WC: ~1200

Enjoy!

Tango landed at Impulse's base, Zedaph following closely behind. The three of them arranged to have a laid-back day together, taking a break from their normally busy lives to simply hang out.

Zed opened his mouth to call out to Impulse, but Tango held a finger in front of his mouth to silence him.

"Let's startle Impy," Tango suggested, a mischievous grin on his face. Zedaph's face lit up, and he nodded enthusiastically. The pair slipped inside his base, and heard Impulse's laughter echoing through the main room.

The two shared a confused glance, but continued walking towards him.

"Alright, I gotta go!" Impulse said to someone. "Love you, bye!" and the sound of a communicator ending a call followed the words.

Impulse- is dating someone?!

Tango felt a grin spread across his face, the expression matched by Zedaph.

"Don't mention it," Zedaph whispered. "We'll figure it out on our own."

Tango nodded, and the pair went and met up with Impulse.

"This was fun!" Impulse laughed, landing on his base with Tango and Zedaph.

"Yeah!" Tango agreed. "We should do this more often!"

"We should!" Zed chimed in, grinning. "But anyways, off we go! See you around, Impulse!"

Impulse waved them off as the two launched into the sky, flying towards the Toon Towers. The moment they were inside, Tango ran to go grab something, and returned with a piece of large poster paper that was rolled up. Tango unraveled it on a table, Zed peeking over his shoulder.

On the paper were the pictures of all the Hermits, lined up in a circle. Some people had lines connecting them with a Hermit, either a full line or a dotted one. Tango and Zedaph had a full line between them, and Ren and Iskall, Hels and Xay, and Wels and Jevin also shared a line. Doc and Bdubs had a dotted line between them, and so did Etho and Beef, Hypno and xB, and Scar and Grian.

It was a chart, shared between Impulse, Tango, and Zedaph, that showed all of the romantic relationships on the server- both the confirmed ones, and the ones they needed to hook up.

It was a secret project between the three of them, dedicated to making their friends less oblivious.

Tango handed a pencil to Zed, who drew a dotted line from Impulse to the center of the circle.

"We have to figure this out," Tango said. "Impulse basically 'hippity hoppity your love life is now my property'ed us, so it's only fair we do the same!" Zed laughed, nodding his agreement.

"He did! So, who would it be?" Zed wondered out loud. "It can't be Xisuma, Hels, Ren, Xay, Iskall, Jevin, or Wels, of course. So who else?"

"Maybe we were wrong about Bdubs and Doc?" Tango offered. "Maybe it's Bdubs!"

"I mean, Impulse is the one that suggested them," Zed mused. "He could've been trying to cover up his tracks. I can see Impulse and Bdubs, yeah!"

Zedaph connected the dotted line over to Bdubs.

"Oh! Or it could be Etho?" Zed guessed. "I can see that!"

"True, true," Tango hummed. Zed drew a second dotted line connecting Impulse and Etho.

The pair stared at the chart for a second, before Zed put down the pencil.

"That's all I can think of," Zed admitted. Tango nodded, rolling up the poster.

"Now we just have to figure out who it really is!"

Zed wandered through the Shopping District, humming to himself. It had been a while since he and Tango had decided to try and figure out who Impulse was with, and they had simply left at that, both making a mental note to look out for any hints towards either Bdubs or Etho.

All of a sudden, he froze.

Up ahead were Impulse and Etho, talking. Etho had a faint blush barely visible around the mask, and Impulse was giggling and occasionally nudging him.

Oh YES.

Zedaph felt excitement bubbling up inside of him, and as unsuspiciously as he could, rocketed into the air to get to Tango's base.

I can't wait to take advantage of this one.

"I have news!" Zedaph sang as he entered Tango's base. Tango whipped around and grinned at him.

"So do I!" he replied, shaking his hands out as if they were wet, a gesture that Zed had learned meant excitement.

"On three?" Zedaph suggested. Tango nodded agreement.

"One, two, three!" Tango called.

"I saw Impulse and Etho flirting!"

"I saw Bdubs and Doc kissing!"

The two stared at each other for a second, then burst out laughing.

"That's perfect!!" Tango cried. "Then it has to be Etho!!"

"And Bdubs and Doc- Bdoc- are together!!" Zed chimed in, giggling right along with his boyfriend.

"Shall I get the chart?" Tango offered, managing to compose himself.

"Please do, good sir!" Zedaph replied.

Tango laid out the poster paper on a desk and took out the pencil. He erased the line between Impulse and Bdubs, then turned the dotted line between Bdubs and Doc into a full one.

"Before we officallize Impulse and Etho, let's confront him?" Zed suggested, placing a hand over Tango's before he could make a full line between Impulse and Etho.

"Good idea," Tango agreed. "Let's go!"

And they were off, into the air once again.

Tango rocketed straight into Impulse's base, excitement pounding through him. Zedaph followed close, but he practically tackled Impulse as he landed.

"YOU'RE DATING ETHO?!" Zed squealed.

"How long?! Why didn't you tell us?! YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER HOW CUTE IS THAT-" Tango cried at the same time.

Impulse stared at them for a second.

And started laughing.

A quiet giggle turned into full body laughter, Impulse clinging to Zedaph for support.

"Wh- what?!" Impulse sputtered. "Where did you- what-"

Impulse took a couple of breaths to try and compose himself as Tango and Zed stood there in shock.

"I'm not dating Etho," Impulse breathed, still giggling a bit.

"Wh- you're not?!" Tango shrieked. "Then- what-?"

"But I saw you two flirting!!" Zed protested. Impulse snickered.

"We weren't flirting," Impulse snorted. "I was egging him on about Beef."

"But- you were on call with someone," Tango tried again. "And you said that you loved them?!"

"I- hAH-" Impulse collapsed to the ground with giggles, making Tango and Zed feel even more foolish than they already did.

"That was Skizz," Impulse explained, clutching his chest for dear life. "My brother."

"Wait- so-" Zedaph's eyes went wide with realization.

"I'm not dating Etho," Impulse chuckled. "Or Skizz- stars forbid. Guys, I'm not dating anyone."

There was a beat of silence, and then all three dissolved into laughter.

"You two are idiots!!" Impulse cried. "Absolute idiots!!"

"I know!" Tango cackled.

"Actually... it's not that I'm 'not dating anyone'," Impulse started. Zedaph and Tango composed themselves, tilting their heads at Impulse with curiosity.

"It's- uh- actually that I never will date anyone... I don't want to," Impulse mumbled, though he was smiling. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring.

It hit Zed like a truck.

"You're aromantic," Tango said, the thought hitting him at the same time as it hit Zed. Impulse nodded, almost shyly.

"That's awesome, Impy!!" Zed grinned at him, and Impulse groaned.

"Not that name again," he grumbled. "Come on!!" he playfully reached out and lightly smacked Zed across the face, causing Tango to shove him back.

"No one touches my boyfriend!!" Tango laughed.

"Aww!!" Impulse giggled. "I should add that to the Tangdaph quote book..."

"The whAT-" Tango yelped.

"Nothing," Impulse hummed with a wink. "Just something for me to read out when you two get married!!"

"IMPULSE!!!"

Okay but Team ZIT with a Hermitshipping chart- hell yes.

-Storm