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Third Person

The server had a little tradition. After the end of every season, the hermits would tell the others their top two accomplishments.

The newest hermit was last.

So when Grian stepped forward, everyone was curious about what he would say.

He started up a powerpoint, and his first words after he picked up the mic was "Thanks to Mumbo for getting this thing going-Er, is this on? Yea? Alright! So, during my first couple of months here, I got into a bit of trouble with my region mates. That's what you call 'em, right?"

TFC had his head in his hands, realizing what was coming, while Mumbo was a bit confused.

Grian waved a hand "So Mumbo here messaged me and was like 'Hey, so would you mind cleaning up your storage system, cause my friend Iskall is coming over and he hasn't met you before. So, I want you to make a good impression.'" he flipped the PowerPoint and it showed the message.

Mumbo finally realized what was coming and groaned. Grian grinned and stated "So I did that, and apparently, as it ends out, all you need is about... six bags of flour!" The PowerPoint showed the bags of flower.

"And an afternoon, and a bit of creativity, and you can make yourself a full on kinda... Uh..." he flipped the PowerPoint and it had him walking into the room, and the camera slowly moved down.

Most of the hermits were confused, Iskall was laughing, Mumbo had his head in his hands, and TFC was digging a hole.

"To sorta get a drug dealer sorta thing." It showed bagged flour looking like bags of coke and there was some laughter. "In in the house! Obviously, you need to get a bit crazier."

The camera moved to show a little bag dumped out of flour. There was more laughter.

"Then you know, I found a diamond or two-" It showed a diamond leaning against a sunflower for Sahara Now, and a little dish of the stuff.

The laughter grew. Grian was now grinning, proud of this. "Then obviously-" A weighing machine with a little stack of diamonds on one end.

"I thought it was a bit subtle! So, I got a little textbook, you know? 'People who owe me money. For drugs. That I sold them.'" Everyone was outright bawling with laughter, and Mumbo was smiling a bit.

There was a silence from Grian as he waited for the laughter to calm down and the PowerPoint to go black.

"To be honest, you've already enjoyed that far more than he did." Some of them laughed at that a bit, and then Grian moved on. "The thing is, I don't know where to draw the line!"

"So when I first moved in, I was given the little lecture, 'bout all the rules and stuff. Then I was given an empty shulker box for my toiletries and sorts." Multiple hermits nodded, not quite understanding where this was going.

Grian continued "So I was like 'hurray.'" A hum of laughter echoed in the room.

"But I don't have any toiletries. So I just filled it-" The camera showed the inside of the shulker box, filled with tiny rubber ducks. Immediately there was laughter. "-With as many as I could!"

His grin was wide. "So in a result, every time I went in there, I'd rearrange them! I was having a brilliant time, you know?"

"So one day, I got narrative! Like a chase scene-" he hit the button, changing the image to show the little ducks chasing each other, and there was a short burst of laughter as they realized the newest hermit was practically a comedian at this point.

Grian ran his free hand through his hair and adjusted the headset with the mic

"And after about four or five months, they began to develop their own sort of culture, based around the products-" he flipped it to the ducks surrounding an empty tube of toothpaste, a hum of praise coming from the PowerPoint.

Immediately there was a burst of laughter, and Impulse had to stop Ren from passing out from lack of breath.

Grian flipped the slide once again, having the ducks on a little runway and sorts. "Honestly, it was beautiful! They had a wedding! Honestly, it was such a beautiful day, we were so lucky with the weather, everyone made it, really, it was beautiful."

Grian waved a hand, ignoring the laughter "And-And Halloween happened!" the little ducks covered in toilet paper, making them into ghosts.

He grinned and continued. "Really, six or eight months down the line, they started to develop their own culture. Like entertainment, they started to make their own movies, blockbusters!"

He changed the slide to two ducks floating in the water, lables appearing. "Really, this was beautiful, it was just-You know what I mean-it was really lovely-"

Impulse had stopped trying to help Ren, who was halfway to passing out, preoccupied with his own laughter.

"Just-Theres more!" It suddenly zoomed out, revealing a bunch of ducks floating upside down.

Ren passed out, and Xisuma dumped water on him.

Grian waited for Ren to wake up and stuttered out "It just the problem is-I-I just-I got more."

"I kinda started making it look like they were generating from the drain." He flipped it once again, and it showed them appearing to generate from the drain.

He sighed "The problem is guys, if you go to the shopping district, they uh." He began showing footage of the ducks stuck to the wall. "if-if you go to the shopping district, they actually-you can buy them wholesale!"

The laughter grew and Xisuma was clapping while laughing. "From Concorp! This actually happened!" it slowly moved forward, across the ground, the ducks getting larger.

"I had a lot of time, I just-What I did was I staged the Purge in the bath! This got me into significant trouble, this was not good!" it showed a giant king duck, and music intensified.

He turned it off and stated, showing the message bar again. "That's when I got the message from TFC and Mumbo-"

MumboJumbo: Grian, we need to talk about the ducks.

Grian stated with a grin "That's not a message anybody wants to get!

Grian: the ducks?

"I was always denying the ducks, I mean-" there was more laughter. Most of the hermits were trying not to suffocate from lack of oxygen

MumboJumbo: the bathroom ducks.

Grian: The bathroom ducks?

TFC: YES THE DUCKS IN THE BATHROOM!

"I was just like..."

Grian: Ah. Yes. Those ducks. What about them? :)

TFC: Please stop.

MumboJumbo: I was in a rush this morning for a Sahara meeting, but couldn't shower until I had moved like a THOUSAND tiny ducks!

"I replied to them."

Grian: Ah yes. Sorry about that, from now on, no more tiny ducks. You have my word.

They laughed, noticing the loophole. Grian grimaced "To be honest, you noticed that loophole far quicker than Mumbo or TFC did."

"They did not see this coming! It hit like a ton of bricks-"

He went silent as it had a person in the bathroom, pointing the camera at the bathtub. There was a confused 'Huh?' then it whipped towards the toilet, and there was dramatic music as it showed a giant rubber duck in it.

It escalated again as it showed one in the sink. Then in the washer.

Laughter.

TFC: do you think what your doing is funny?

Grian: A bit.

MumboJumbo: I'm away this weekend, by the time I'm back, I want ALL ducks gone.

"To be fair to him, it was getting difficult to move around the bathroom, there was a significant amount of ducks."

Grian: :( look, can I have one duck in the bathroom?

TFC: ONE.

Grian: :)

There was footage of him searching the bathroom, then he attempted to back up and hit a giant blow up duck and it backed up, showing the noise, intense music coming from the tv.

Then there was a photo from TFC and Mumbo, both laughing there brains out. The group watching themselves were laughing.

MumboJumbo: Your insane.

Grian: Quackers!

Grian bowed "Thank you very much! This was my two best achievements this season!"

I should not be this proud of this lol.

Bye my loyal customers!

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