istg dream isn't involved in this at all-

I remember having a great time writing this oneshot even though it was a bit of a projecting/vent-y one, but I still really like this one :D

WARNING! This oneshot contains depictions of self-doubt and self-consciousness! If this topic makes you uncomfortable of causes you panic, I'd advise not to read this oneshot, but it's your personal decision.

WC: 2.5k

Grian considered himself a very secretive person.

Not in a bad way, per say, he just...didn't express himself fully around other people. He put on a so-called "mask" in front of everyone, but not to hide something bad.

To hide his true self.

He didn't know how his friends would react to his true self. In front of his friends, with the mask on, he was still bubbly and happy, but with it off, he could let his true colours shine through.

Sometimes he would get careless and the mask would crack a bit, and a little of his light would shine through. But he'd always patched it back up again, fearing what the reaction might be if he let himself go.

Someday, he always told himself.

Someday I'll take off the mask.

Someday I'll throw it on the ground and let it shatter into a million pieces.

Someday I'll be the full me.

But not yet.

Of course, if he never let himself free, then he'd probably explode. So that's why, every night, Grian would take off the mask and let himself go free. He'd sing and draw and write and paint and, more prominently, dance. He'd twirl around the main hall of his mansion, waltzing with pretend lovers, doing acrobatics in front of pretend crowds. And he loved it.

That's why night was his favourite time. Because that's when he could let loose and be himself.

And tonight was no different. Grian cartwheeled across the carpet, ending in a backhand spring that he landed perfectly. You'd think that dancing like that with wings would be hard, but not for Grian. He'd never done it without wings. He grinned, pretending to bow to his imaginary audience. His heart was pounding from all of the dancing he'd been doing, and he was sure it was quite late. He looked up at the glass ceiling of the mansion, realizing the moon was now right above him. It is quite late, he thought. He bit his lip, and then shrugged. I can sleep in tomorrow.

His breathing hitched when he thought he saw a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. He narrowed his eyes at the top balcony, where he'd seen it. After staring for a moment, he concluded it must have been Maui or Pearl, and then went back to dancing.

Mumbo POV

I'm not a stalker. Just a quiet observer, really.

Ever since Grian had first joined the server in Season Six, Mumbo had noticed something peculiar about the short hermit. His mood seemed to fluctuate drastically, and it seemed dependent on the time. For example, during the day, he was much more calm than at night, when he seemed to get a bit antsy. Mumbo had always just excused it as just Grian being Grian, until one night when he was flying back to his base back in Season Six. It had been quite late at night, nearly midnight. Mumbo had just been getting back from grinding for quartz in the Nether.

As he'd flown past Grian's base, he'd noticed the lights were still on. He'd tried not to be nosy, but his curiosity had got the best of him and he'd glided down to the entrance of Grian's base. He'd nestled himself in a shadowy part of the framework, looking down into the inside of Grian's base.

What he saw had astounded him.

Grian had been dancing across the concrete floor of his base, doing flips and twirls and acrobatic moves that Mumbo didn't even want to attempt. Mumbo's eyes had widened bigger than Keralis'. He'd never known that Grian could do...that. Another thing that he had noticed was that Grian had looked so...happy. He'd looked like he was free for the first time in a long time as he danced around his base. Mumbo's heart had swelled, and that's when it had started to become a habit to watch Grian dance every night. It made him happy to see Grian happy.

Nothing was different about tonight, either. Mumbo slipped into Grian's base at around eight, just before he knew Grian would start dancing. He got up to the balcony and sat in his normal spot; on the top balcony in a place where the light from the chandelier didn't reach. And he waited.

Right on time, Grian came into the mansion and sighed, stretching his wings. He smiled, and started. Mumbo watched as he went through his usual routine, one that he knew so well by now that he might be able to do it on his own (if he even could dance).

Mumbo smiled to himself as Grian did a backhand spring and stuck the landing perfectly. I wonder why he never told me that he can dance like this. Grian looked up at the glass windows overhead, presumably to see the time. Mumbo's eyes widened and he suppressed a gasp as Grian's eyes flicked over to where he was hiding. He scrambled backwards as silently as he could, his heart pounding. For a moment there was no sound in the mansion except for Mumbo's racing heart. But to the redstoner's relief, he heard Grian go back to dancing. He sat in the dark for a while longer, his eyes wide and his face flushed. Did he see me?

Eventually he worked up enough courage to creep back up to the railing. He suppressed a chuckle when he saw that Grian was waltzing around, his arms held as though he was dancing with someone else. A thought flashed through Mumbo's head. What if it was me dancing with him?

He blushed bright red and shook his head, facepalming as quietly as he could. No way. I can't tell him I've been watching him! He'll never-

He froze as Grian's blue eyes met his.

"Hello!"

Grian POV

Grian was on edge ever since he'd seen that shadow upstairs. He wasn't entirely sure that it was Maui or Pearl. Last he'd seen, his two cats were both sleeping in his office, on top of the router. Guess they're taking after Jellie.

If there was someone up there, they'd seen him without his mask on.

His heart pounded at the thought, but he brushed it off. It's probably a bat or something. But he nearly didn't land right after a cartwheel when he saw it; eyes. Up on the balcony.

There is someone up there.

He panicked, his mind racing. Who is it? How do they know I'm here? He decided to switch to his little waltz routine, as it was easier to mask his worry and curiosity that way; and also less chances for him to fall and injure himself. He glanced up faster than lightning, and caught sight of a face. Mahogany eyes, raven black hair, and a soft smile.

Mumbo.

If anything, Grian was relieved. If he was going to take off his mask in front of anyone, it would be Mumbo first. Grian stopped dancing and looked right into Mumbo's eyes, snorting slightly as fear flashed through them. "Hello!" he called cheerfully. Mumbo didn't move; he just sat there like a child caught in the act of stealing candy from a pantry.

"I see you!" he called, waving. Now he got a reaction. Mumbo slowly stood up, his face bright red. "Why don't you come down here?" Grian suggested, smirking. "It's much easier to watch me dance down here than up there." Mumbo smiled sheepishly, but Grian saw how nervous he was. And honestly, Grian was just as skittish at the moment, despite how cheerful he was trying to be. He'd been caught. Mumbo had seen him without the mask. It was over.

As Mumbo made his way down the stairs, Grian took a shaky breath to try and calm his nerves.

Grian noticed how nervous and ashamed Mumbo looked. The winged hermit smiled softly at Mumbo, who opened his mouth to try to say something. "Grian, I-" Grian put a hand up to stop the redstoner. "Do you want to dance with me?" he offered, and he hoped his sympathetic smile was enough to show Mumbo that Grian forgave him. "It's been ages since I've had a real partner to dance with."

Mumbo blushed bright red and tensed, and then smiled lightly. He took his hand and placed it shakily on top of Grian's, his pale fingers against Grian's. "O-okay," he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. "I will warn you, though. I'm quite the rubbish dancer."

Grian giggled. "Well, lucky for you, you've got me!" he joked, spreading his wings and putting a hand to his chest. Mumbo chuckled, but luckily didn't say anything about Grian's dancing before.

Grian lead Mumbo (who was still a blushing flustery mess) out into the middle of the great hall, moonlight shining down on them. "Okay," Grian said, gently taking Mumbo's hands. "Since you're taller, you're going to put your hands here," he explained, guiding the redstoner's hands to his waist. "L-like this?" Mumbo asked, putting his hands in the correct position. Grian nodded. "Right! And since I'm the short one-" (Mumbo laughed at this) "-I'm going to put my hands on your shoulders." He lifted his hands to Mumbo's shoulders, grinning at Mumbo. Mumbo's smile was shaky, but a smile nonetheless. "Alright, we're going to do a simple dance, because you're new to this," Grian said. "So I'm going to put my foot back here-" He lifted his right foot and set it further backwards, "-and you're going to put your foot forwards, right here." He brushed the tip of his wing over the spot where Mumbo's foot would go. Mumbo slid his foot to the right spot.

"See? You're getting it!" Grian exclaimed. "That's the first step!" Mumbo laughed a bit. "G, I slid my foot about fifteen centimeters," he joked, and Grian laughed. "Improvement! You couldn't move your foot fifteen centimeters before, could you?" he said sarcastically, and Mumbo snorted. "No, absolutely not," he chuckled, his mahogany eyes sparkling with moonlight.

Grian felt his nerves begin to slide off him like snow slides off the boughs of a tree in winter as he continued to teach Mumbo. He had to admit, Mumbo's hands on his waist felt right. Like the universe intended for both of them to be dancing at this moment, underneath the moon. Mumbo's dancing was choppy and speckled with mistakes, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. His smile was bright as he replicated the dancing, and he seemed to take every suggestion Grian made to heart. Grian began to forget about his mask, and just let him be himself. He grinned and spun Mumbo around, who shrieked and held fast to Grian's arm. Grian laughed and returned to dancing normally, though he could tell from the way Mumbo watched his every move that the redstoner didn't trust Grian not to spin him around again.

...Fair.

Mumbo's movements became less tentative and more confident. His feet moved much more smoothly now, and Grian smiled. "See? You're doing it!" he said, grinning at Mumbo. The redstoner laughed breathlessly. "Hey, I am! Who knew such a spoon could-" At that moment, Mumbo took a wrong step and tripped over Grian's foot. With a yelp, Mumbo crashed to the ground, bringing Grian with him. Grian braced for impact, but then felt none. He cracked his eyes open to see that he had landed right in Mumbo's arms, and Mumbo had fallen right onto his butt. Mumbo gawked down at Grian, who sputtered and then burst into laughter, the kind that made your stomach clench and your eyes water. Mumbo began laughing as well, covering his mouth with his hand. "Aack!" he exclaimed, clearly flustered. "Sorry, G! Oh my gosh, I'm such a clutz..." Grian's face fell a bit, and he put a hand on the side of Mumbo's face. They both blushed. "Mumbo," the winged hermit said softly. "You were doing great! You're not a clutz, you're just...a spoon." Mumbo chuckled, and Grian beamed. "And I hope that's the way it'll stay," he whispered, and then with a burst of confidence, he pressed their lips together.

Mumbo POV

Dancing was...not Mumbo's strong suit.

But apparently, that's why Grian wanted to teach him. The winged hermit was a very good teacher. With an exception of a few slip-ups, soon Mumbo had mastered the simple waltz Grian had taught him. The short hermit's delight when Mumbo got it made it all worth it to Mumbo.

Until he was a spoon and wrecked it.

He fumbled over Grian's foot and fell to the ground with a yelp. Grian crashed down on top of him, and he caught the shorter hermit instinctively. He blushed furiously, staring at Grian with wide eyes. The winged hermit burst into laughter, and Mumbo soon joined in.

To be honest, Mumbo couldn't remember most of the conversation that followed. He always said he had the memory of a goldfish, and that was proving to be true at the moment.

But then Grian kissed him.

Mumbo was positive his heart had busted a hole through his ribcage by now. His face felt like it was on fire. But it felt so right. It felt perfect, with Grian in Mumbo's arms and the moonlight streaming through the window onto the pair. Mumbo had never felt so alive in all his life.

After they broke apart, Mumbo laughed breathlessly, putting a hand on Grian's face. Grian smiled up at him, a galaxy of stars reflecting in his blue eyes. "That was...lovely," was all Mumbo managed to sputter. Grian nodded. "It was."

And then Mumbo remembered. What had happened earlier.

"Grian?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you hide from us?"

Mumbo didn't specify exactly what he meant, but from the look on Grian's face, the shorter hermit got it. "It's just...the way I am, I guess," Grian admitted, his eyes clouded with sadness. "I never wanted to be my whole self around you guys because I was afraid of what the reaction would be. So I hid, and I only took the mask off at night." Mumbo tilted his head to the side, confused. "Mask?"

Grian hesitated, then nodded. "It's the metaphorical name for the way I act around people. With the mask on, I'm much more collected than with it off. That's why I was scared to show everyone." Mumbo's heart broke further with every word Grian spoke. It hurt to know that the winged hermit had been hiding so much from them, and was having to keep his true identity a secret. "Grian, take the mask and burn it," he said, and Grian blinked. "Be yourself," Mumbo insisted, his eyes gleaming with desperation. "You're perfect the way you are. The way you truly are."

Grian's eyes gleamed with tears, and he buried his face in Mumbo's chest. "I will," he promised, and Mumbo could hear the smile in his voice. Grian's wings wrapped around the redstoner, and he instantly felt warm. "I love you, G," he murmured. Grian pulled back, tears still gleaming on his face, but a smile was there too. "The feelings are mutual, you spoon," he teased, booping Mumbo's nose. The redstoner instantly became a tomato, which prompted Grian to start laughing. Mumbo grinned.

"So you break the mask, and I stay a spoon," he joked, his face still red.

"Deal."

Mumbo grinned and stood up again, offering a hand to Grian.

"Could I have this dance?"

dancey bois

remember to drink your water and that'll be all from me!