I decided to write a little comedy, to test out how many jokes I can fit into a oneshot. Starring Scar and Grian, who are building up the back of the mansion (which as of now they still- haven't- done) and start to playfully tease each other.

Warning(s): I don't think there's anything sensitive here..so just enjoy.

POV: Grian and Scar, I guess
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"How are you in self-defence?"

This was the umpteenth topic the cocky pair had landed on, spanning from favourite movies to an in-depth review on Earl Grey tea. With all the time in the world whilst building up the back of the mansion, their intelligent conversations had dissipated long ago.

With a very graceless stumble Scar hopped down from a large rock that dimly resembled a toad, manoeuvring his way over to Grian and cuffing him on the back of the neck with a handful of yellowed grass.

Grian yelped in shock and managed to regain his balance before turning on his heel to face the smirking brunette, his eyebrow creased in confusion. "And what was that for?"

"I was showing you my self-defence! You asked, after all."

"So if you were in an alleyway and someone tried to mug you, you would use a bunch of weeds to defend yourself?"

"Of course not! I'd use nettles instead! They inflict way more damage then your average dandelion. Unless the person has allergies, of course."

The shorter male scoffed and turned to place a mound of soil onto the barren stone, picking out the clumps of clay. "Do you know anything else other than hitting your opponent with flowers and talking yourself out of the situation?"

He turned again to see Scar drop the grass and settle into a preposterous position that looked vaguely like tai chi, beckoning him closer with a finger. "Obviously. Come one step closer and I'll rip out your heart with my Snarling Sharkbite technique."

"Why would you rip out my heart?"

Scar frowned back. "Pardon?"

"Why would you rip out my heart of all things? My heart is reserved for very few things, like me, my cats and sticky toffee pudding. I've got no more room for other things, and it's reserved solely for.."

"Reserved for?"

"What?"

Scar sighed and straightened up, letting his arm fall to his side. "You said 'reserved solely for..' and then you faltered. What were you going to say?"

Grian blinked slowly. "Nothing."

"You were. Probably something along the lines of sticky toffee pudding again, if I'm being honest, but I bet you were gonna say..."

"Say what?"

"Huh?"

"You faltered."

"Shush. Don't use my words against me. Also, I'm thinking."

"Don't 'shush' me."

The two pondered for a moment, Grian hiding his awkwardness by fetching some grass from his inventory.

"Anyways. How about we play eye spy?"

The blonde shrugged and tossed a bundle of grass to Scar before working on his own patch of manicured greensward. "Sure. You go first."

With a hum Scar glanced around, his gaze resting on various objects before making up his mind. "I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with..P."

Grian swivelled his head to look at his surroundings.

"Pond?"

"No."

"Plants?"

The brunette shook his head.

"Pig?"

"Where?"

Grian shrugged in response, planting the heaps of lush grass onto the gravel. "I just made it up. What's the answer?"

"Pesky Bird."

He glanced around until he saw the chirping red culprit, its miniature claws clinging onto the shingles of the mansion's roof. "Why did you have to make the first one so hard? I would've never seen that rascal."

"Pfft. Give me a hard one and I'll guess it first try."

So he did. His eyes flickered to the deep brush of the jungle, then to the mansion, then to the grass he was carefully molding. An idea sprouted within his head.

"I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with G."

Scar bit his lip and looked around, following his friend's gaze. "Grass?"

"Nope!"

"G..." he drew out the word, staring into Grian's eyes, trying to find any hints within those crystal blue eyes.

"Grian..? Like, your name..?"

Grian spun and kicked a pebble across the empty yard, huffing. "How'd you know? Do you have telepathic abilities or something?"

"Telepathic? What's that? Is it the ability to make a call within a telephone box without accidently calling the fire brigade because you weren't focusing on what numbers you were putting in?"

"What-?...Nevermind. It means you can read minds and stuff."

"Oh."

The blonde snagged a stray plant from his stack of grass and threw it somewhere behind him. "I expected you would know what that meant, given the fact you're older than me and that means you're wiser, and..well, I like to tease Mumbo about it a lot actually, since he's younger."

"Well of course I'm wiser! It's just I had a varied childhood, filled with Disney collectibles games and pagers."

"What's a pager?"

The brunette stalled his terraforming and caught Grian's gaze, disbelief etched into his scars. "You seriously don't know what a pager is?"

"Well, I've heard of it, but, like, I'm not a boomer."

"A boomer? Like, The Boomers that blow up stuff for diamonds?"

Grian shook his head and huffed. "I knew you'd say that."

"So you're a telepathic person?"

"Well.."

"I pick up phrases very quickly, as you can see. One of my traits."

"And what are your other traits?"

Scar held his hand up, slowly putting down fingers. "I make jokes, my hair always looks styled no matter what, I'm the best mayor, one of my favourites colours is a primary colour and I love cats."

"Did you practise reciting that list in the mirror or something?"

"Yes, along with my mayoral speeches and how to look intimidating. And much more. You want to hear the animal puns I've been learning off?"

"Wai- hold on. Backtrack a little bit."

"My mayoral speeches? You want to hear them? Well, I'll have to warn you as the last time I practised those was, well, quite a good while-"

"No no no. Intimidating people? You seriously practise that in the mirror?"

"Yes. Would you like to see?"

"Sure."

Scar bit the inside of his cheek in thought and then squared up, towering over Grian. In a low, guttural voice he uttered the words, "Are you intimidated?"

On Grian's behalf, he merely stared back, shuffling forward until they were bare centimetres away from each other. Both held their gazes.

"I wouldn't dare be intimidated by the deep voice you're putting on."

"It hurts my throat to do it but I think it's worth the cups of warm water with honey I'm going to have to drink after."

"Nor would I want to put you in discomfort with my words."

"You're going to have to use a lot more than just words."

The breeze played with their hair whilst they looked at each other, locked in an endless staring competition. Finally Scar just sighed and stepped back, watching as Grian dropped from balancing on his toes to both feet planted firmly on the ground. He stifled a laugh.

"What're you laughing at?" Grian smirked in triumph and tapped his feet absentmindedly on the dirt to a made up rhythm.

"It's just that..well, you had to stand on your tippy toes to even vaguely match my height."

The builder's face fell and he crossed his arms, pouting. "Well, it's not fair that you have the extra height and I don't! I would love to know what it's like to tower over other people and not the opposite! What's it like being tall?"

"Well, I'm not that tall, like Mumbo height, but I suppose it's kind of cool. You can look down at shorter people and laugh at their height. Mainly Bdubs." He snapped his fingers, although it made no noise other than a soft thump. "Oh! That's another trait to add to the list!"

"You can't click your fingers though."

Scar made a sound that resembled a llama. "Of course you can, Mr. Snap-all-doors-out-of-existence."

"What doors? I never stole any doors!"

"Oh, sorry I forgot. Jungle bandit." He rolled his eyes slightly and smiled.

Grian grinned and plucked the grass out of the terraformer's hands just for show. "Oi! Pesky Bird!"

He made a squawking noise and flapped his arms slightly, imitating a parrot. "Caw! You'll never catch me!" He spun on his heel and opened up his elytra wings, gliding down to a lower level of the rocky outcrop.

He heard Scar deploying his own elytra behind him and fumbled for some rockets, keeping the grass tucked tightly beneath his left arm and gripping the fireworks with his right hand.

Before he could take off he felt the air shift behind him, and Scar tumbled into the thief and they sprawled onto the soft soil, the grass and dirt in Grian's grasp spilling everywhere.

"Gotcha!"

Grian pushed himself off the ground and brushed some dirt off his pants. "We're not playing tag!"

"Well, now we are! See ya later allig-" before he could finish his sentence, Scar had already launched himself into the sky, narrowly avoiding smashing into a jungle tree and barrelling through a cluster of vines.

Grian shook his head and sighed. "I'm going back to terraforming. I guess I'll see how long Scar will fly for before he realises I'm not chasing him."

And with that he turned back and picked up the mound of grass that had belonged to Scar, and got back to work.

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Word Count: 1600.