AU: Hanahaki

WC: ~4.5k

Tw: Vomiting, blood, death

So I'm going to let y'all in on a little secret: ever since Double Life started I've been cranking out Clock Duo fics. As of now, I've written twelve with no intention of posting them. Although I've been sharing them with just one friend, and they begged me to post this one so here you go :) I had looked back on the hanahaki fic I wrote ages ago and much like with my amnesia fic, decided I could do better. I know it's low-hanging fruit for angst but I don't care I did it anyway! >:D

(Also if you haven't watched Double Life it doesn't matter all you need to do is that Bdubs and Impulse were paired)

-

Impulse's eyes flew open, his chest heaving as he found himself lying on the ground of spawn for Hermitcraft. Sitting up, he looked over to find Bdubs also catching his breath.

"We're finally back," Bdubs lightly laughed in disbelief.

Before he could get up, Impulse tackled him in a hug, holding him as tight as he could. "I seriously don't want to have to deal with another one of those life games ever again," he murmured, lightly gripping Bdubs' shirt.

With a laugh, his former soulmate patted his back, loosely hugging him back. "We'll probably be thrown into another one soon enough."

"Let's not think about that right now," he bitterly joked. He pulled back only to lean forward to kiss him, only for once, Bdubs seemed to hesitate. Was he nervous about the state of their relationship after returning to Hermitcraft?

Or did he not want to?

Impulse washed away his worries as gentle lips pressed together. He hummed when Bdubs quickly kissed him a second time before helping him to his feet. "Well ah, off to work then?" The builder asked, delicately holding his hands.

"I guess so! We've got a lot to catch up on, huh?" Squeezing his hands, his smile grew. "I'll see ya around then! I love you!"

Bdubs smiled as well. "Me too. I love you too," he whispered, waving goodbye.

-

After a long day of work, Bdubs was ready to crash. However, the moment he finally laid down for bed, he found himself unable to sleep. His bed felt too big, too empty. He debated messaging Impulse, asking him if he was feeling the same, if they would want to go back to sharing a bed every night.

Sitting up, he loosely hugged his knees as he stared at his communicator. He wasn't completely confident that Impulse still felt the same as him. Sure, he was the one who wanted to kiss him first, but Bdubs had worried it was more of an obligation rather than out of love.

No, Impulse said he loved me, remember? He still means it, he told himself whilst agreeing to wait and see if he'd message first.

Bdubs felt the hours slip away from him and once he realized it was well past ten, he figured Impulse wasn't messaging anytime soon.

"I'll just- check and see if he's awake," he murmured, biting the nail of his thumb as he picked up his communicator. Although he changed his mind about messaging him.

He'd rather hear his voice.

The line rang a few times before Impulse answered.

"Hey! What's up?" He cheerfully greeted.

"I uh, I'm sorry about bothering you but - god this is so embarrassing - are you- are you having any trouble sleeping?" He finally managed to ask, bracing himself for whatever the answer may be.

Much to his surprise, Impulse chuckled. "Actually I haven't even gotten in the shower yet. I just finished up my work for the day. What, is it weird being alone?"

"Not- Not weird or anything," he hastily lied, feeling more embarrassed. "I mean I- well if you wanted to, you're more than welcome to come crash for the night." It took a moment before he was given an answer, his face lighting up when Impulse agreed.

Bdubs eagerly awaited his arrival and once he was at the monolith, his former soulmate kissed him before climbing into bed beside him. Impulse let out a big yawn as he laid down beside him, draping an arm over him. "Thank you," Bdubs whispered, lightly gripping his shirt.

"Of course," Impulse murmured before yawning again. "And we don't have to do this every night if you don't want to. But just know if you ever feel like your bed is too big or you really miss me, I'll be here," he quietly promised.

Despite the darkness, he nodded. "Same goes for you," he pointed out as he found himself yawning as well. If he could, he'd find his way beside him every night, but Bdubs didn't want to push it.

Back when they were soulbound, every time they went to sleep, Bdubs would always have to force himself to stop thinking. To stop worrying about how vulnerable they were when they slept, how something could happen to Impulse while he wasn't awake. However, since they were back home, with no present danger, with no threat of being dead forever, he found himself far happier, far more content about going to bed.

The warmth from Impulse's body weighed against his eyelids, coaxing him to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

-

Taking a moment to pause his mining, Impulse had to step back and cough. It took him a moment to catch his breath, and he realized that he was out of water. He had spent almost three days straight mining and building, barely giving himself time to take a break, let alone talk to his friends.

Alright, I think that's a good enough sign to take a break.

He gave up, leaving the depths of his mountain as he continued to cough. It was most likely a buildup of dust in his lungs and a lack of enough fresh air, but Impulse promised himself that he was going to stop until he was completely better. Plus, if Bdubs found out,he knew he'd want him to do the same.

Picking up a bottle of water on his way out, he climbed up the side of the mountain and sat back. Impulse took in a deep breath through his nose before chugging a third of his drink.

"Hey Impulse!" Gem brightly greeted, sitting beside him. "How have you been?"

He looked away to cough again before flashing a smile. "I'm okay! I think I've spent too much time mining though," he admitted with a shrug.

"You know what you need? Some nice, warm tea with honey. And, obviously, plenty of water and fresh air, but you're already on top of that!" She suggested with a snap of her fingers.

Impulse nodded. "I'll have to try that! Thanks, Gem!"

And so he did just that. He stepped inside for a moment to make some tea and brought it back outside as he stirred his honey in. As he carefully drank from his mug, he shot Bdubs a message.

<Impulse> Hey, sorry for being so busy lately! Would you want to do something?

<Bdubs> Dw about it! We've both missed a lot so trust me i get it! If there's smth u wanna do then sure!

<Impulse> oh I don't have anything in mind, I was just wondering if you wanted to spend some time together

<Bdubs> it's ok, u don't have to take time off for me lol

Impulse frowned, his brow furrowing as he took another sip of his tea. "What? No, Bdubs I want to spend time with you," he murmured as he sent it.

Did- Does he not want to? What if I phrase it like a genuine date? Would he want to then or would that push him away more?

The idea of Bdubs not wanting to go on a date ever made his stomach drop. No, no, don't jump to conclusions, he scolded himself, before directly asking his former soulmate out on a date.

<Bdubs> are you sure? You don't have to stop your work if you seriously don't want to.

<Impulse> I am very sure, but only if you want to. If you don't want to go on a date then we don't have to!

<Bdubs> no no, genuinely i do want to go on a date! Maybe sometime next week?

<Impulse> for sure!!

Finding himself grinning from ear to ear, Impulse realized that his throat was feeling clearer.

-

Little did Impulse know that just that morning, Bdubs woke up with a cough as well.

Only it wasn't just a case of needing water or tea or fresh air.

When he had gotten up, he stumbled to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet bowl. Something was caught in his throat and Bdubs had desperately tried to not panic. Although all sanity was thrown out the window when he coughed up calla lilies in shades of red, yellow and white. Loose petals spilled out as he began to hyperventilate. "What the- what the hell?!" He wailed, clutching the seat. His chest felt tight and tears began to build up in his eyes as he flushed the flowers down the drain.

It took him a bit to rummage through his chests to find a potion of healing, but once he did he sat on the floor and chugged the whole thing.

But then... nothing.

He didn't feel any better.

Don't cry, everything's... fine. Maybe it was an elaborate prank by Scar or something.

A few deep, shaky breaths later, although still not feeling better, he pulled himself together enough to get up.

By the time Impulse texted, Bdubs had begun to feel worse.

Of course he wanted to see his former soulmate. He wished he could see him even for a few minutes every day. Truth be told, however, Bdubs didn't feel so confident that Impulse felt the same. He had a gut feeling that either someone else was pushing him to message him, or he was simply doing it out of pity or as an obligation.

Whatever it was going on with him and the freaky flowers, Bdubs hoped that giving himself a week to get over it would be enough.

"Fuckin'- shit-" he mumbled, dropping his communicator on the floor as he ran back to the bathroom.

-

Days were passing at an agonizingly slow rate. Bdubs could barely sleep three hours without finding himself unable until he threw up more calla lilies. One day, he dared to venture outside to collect earnings from the moss shop and check his redstone. But by the end of his trip, he found himself out back, one arm braced against the wall as he coughed.

He could barely get anything out as he took uneven breaths through his nose when he couldn't breathe through his mouth. Bdubs blinked back tears to the best of his abilities, saliva dribbled from the corners of his lips and down his chin. He dropped to his knees as his chest heaved.

Finally, he coughed up a flower. After the first, the rest were slightly easier to upchuck.

He dug his nails into the dirt as he could feel one lodged in his throat. Only unlike the others before, it was cutting the walls of his esophagus. It hurt like hell, and the moment blood dripped from his mouth, he broke out into a sob. His limbs trembled as he grew lightheaded. Bdubs could barely breathe and his energy was draining fast.

Despite hearing the footsteps, he couldn't bring himself to even care. All he wanted was it to not be Impulse. He couldn't afford having him worry.

"Bdubs?! Are- Are you okay?!" Slowly raising his head, he found Scar frozen in shock.

Bdubs vomited a pool of blood before the white flower came up. At the bottom of the bulb were a few thorns, which only made him sob harder.

Carefully stepping around the pile of blood and flowers, Scar crouched beside him. "What's going on?" He whispered, placing a hand on his back.

Gritting his teeth, he grabbed a hold of Scar's collar. "Was this you?" He accused, his voice hoarse. "Is this supposed to be some kind of prank?"

"What? No! No, I would never do something like this! Are you- Are- here, I have a healing potion on me, drink it," Scar urged, prying one of his hands off his clothes, pressing the bottle into his palm.

He shook his head. "Doesn't work," he mumbled.

Scar squeezed his free hand. "Just try. Please."

Bdubs couldn't hold down the potion longer than a minute before he threw it up along with a few stray petals. In response, Scar hugged him, slightly rocking. "What's happening to me?" He whispered, his voice cracking as pathetic sobs escaped him.

"I-I wish I knew," Scar sighed. "We should- We should get you home. Then I'll come back here and clean this up for you."

Numbly nodding, he let Scar help him up, leaning against his side while his friend rubbed his arm. He walked him back to the monolith.

-

Impulse happened to be passing through the area and had to do a double-take when he saw Scar with an arm draped over a worn out Bdubs as they walked up the path.

When he got closer, he swallowed hard. "Bdubs?" He dared to call out.

The two looked over at him, Scar flashing a sympathetic smile meanwhile Bdubs looked tired and pained. "Impulse, could you help him inside?" Scar softly asked, ignoring how the other slowly began to shake his head. "I'm going to do some research," he whispered to Bdubs before stepping away so Impulse could support him.

It didn't go unnoticed by him how for a moment, Bdubs reached for Scar to stop him.

"Are you okay?" He whispered, helping him lean against him.

Sniffling, Bdubs rubbed the corner of his eye with the heel of his hand. "I'm just tired," he mumbled, clearly lying.

Exhaling through his nose, Impulse kept quiet until he got him up to his room. Moving to stand in front of him, he cupped his face. "Bdubs," he whispered. "Please, what's actually going on with you?"

"I don't know," he breathed, shaking his head.

"Bdubs-"

"I'm serious! I- I- there's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is or- how to- healing potions don't work, hell I threw one up earlier and I couldn't- and there was-"

When he realized he was hyperventilating, he guided him back to sit on the bed, holding his hands as he crouched in front of him and helped Bdubs calm down. Once his breathing was back to normal, he squeezed his hands. "Hey, hey it's okay! Whatever it is, I'll do whatever I can to help. I love you Bdubs, I'll be here until you're completely healed," he promised.

Much to his surprise, a look of pain washed over his former soulmate's face. "Don't say that," he pleaded with a strained voice. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"What? Bdubs of course I mean it! I meant it back when we were soulbound and I mean it now! I love you!" He insisted.

His heart twisted when Bdubs pulled his hands away. "It's okay, Impulse. Just because we were together before doesn't mean you have to keep it up. I'll be fine."

"B- huh? Did- Did someone tell you I don't love you? Because whoever it is- they're lying. Do- Do you still- do you not love me? If you don't I'll stop but-"

As he stood up, Bdubs reached his hands up, gently holding his face. "Of course I still love you," he whispered.

With a heavy sigh, Impulse closed his eyes, touching the back of his hands. "Then wh-"

The sudden sound of Bdubs choking startled him, his eyes flying open. "Bdubs?!" Pushing himself off the bed the aforementioned stumbled forward, weakly pushing past Impulse. "H-Hey! What d'you- what can I do?! How do I- What's happening?!" He caught him before he could fall, and although it would've been better to keep calm, his anxiety was spiking higher than ever.

With a trembling arm, Bdubs pointed towards the bathroom, unable to make a sound through all his coughing and struggled breathing. He helped him get to the bathroom and although he could tell Bdubs tried to get him to stay outside the door, he refused and followed him in. Whilst he heaved over the toilet, Impulse smoothed his hair back with one hand, his other rubbing circles onto his back.

When Bdubs began to cough up blood, his stomach dropped. "I-It's okay, I'm right here," he whispered, trying to regulate his own breathing. He pressed a few kisses to the back of his head.

He caught sight of the flowers Bdubs threw up and couldn't have been more confused. What worried him even more were the thorns growing from beneath the lilies. Is that what caused all the blood? What kind of twisted curse is this?

It was an excruciating twenty minutes, although it was for sure far worse for Bdubs.

Once the last flowers fell into the toilet, Bdubs stayed leaning over, catching his breath. Impulse stayed silent, waiting until the toilet was flushed and Bdubs was cleaned up to ask anything.

"How long has this been happening?" He whispered as they returned to the bedroom.

They sat on the edge of the bed, Bdubs looking away as he scratched the back of his neck. "A few days," he mumbled. "I was hoping it'd go away in a week and I didn't want to tell anyone to avoid causing people to worry but- but then Scar saw me and now you." He sighed.

"Hey, please look at me," he quietly pleaded, reaching over to touch his cheek. Thankfully, Bdubs did turn his head and leaned into his hand. "Whatever this is; I refuse to leave your side until you're healed. Even- Even if this kills you, I will be here. You can't make me go anywhere."

Cracking a smile, Bdubs let out a light laugh. It slightly eased Impulse, to hear the heavenly tone was enough to set the butterflies aflutter in his stomach. "As much as I'd prefer you weren't around to watch me slowly die, but... I appreciate it."

Impulse pulled him into a hug, guiding his head down to lean against his chest. "You won't die. I'll make sure of it," he murmured, stroking his hair again.

-

When Impulse stepped out to make some soup, Scar returned with details on the strange disease.

Despite sitting up in bed and gripping his blanket, Bdubs felt like his stomach was dropped from the window, plummeting through the ground below.

"So what you're saying is that Impulse really doesn't reciprocate my feelings?" He whispered, unable to look up at his friend.

"Not necessarily," Scar corrected as he turned the page in the book he carried. "It says here you can be affected even if the other does feel the same, but if you're convinced they don't."

He slowly nodded, not feeling any better about learning what was happening to him. "Does it say how long I have left?" He dared to quietly ask.

Closing the book, Scar sighed. "I'm not sure. But you should really talk to Impulse about-"

"No, I can't tell him!" Bdubs protested, snapping his wide-eyed gaze up to his friend.

"If you don't then I'm not confident you'll last the month! Bdubs this is serious, you've gotta tell him what's happening!" He insisted.

"And if I do then what? He'll either feel guilty or feel like he has to somehow prove he loves me otherwise I'll die. No matter what the situation, I don't want to put my life on his hands like that! It's not fair!"

Tapping his forehead with the big book, Scar visibly contemplated. "During Double Life, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was jealous of you two. It was clear that you both were genuinely in love and it was so sweet to see in a world like that. Something that strong doesn't just go away. It's nothing like previous Life Game relationships, I know it. So please, try to believe Impulse. He really does love you," he quietly explained.

"You really think so?" He whispered, tugging at the tuft of hair rebelling against the bandana.

Kneeling beside his bed, Scar took his hand and squeezed it. "I know it," he repeated.

The door opened as Impulse stepped in with a tray. He raised an eyebrow at Scar, who stood up and ruffled Bdubs' hair before taking a step back. "So, did you find out what's happening to him?" Impulse quietly asked after setting the soup up over his legs.

"I did. He'll-" swallowing, Scar drummed his fingers on the book as he hugged it. "I can't lie; it's not looking great for him. But um, I'll let him tell you about it."

-

Impulse already knew.

He was eavesdropping.

Of course he didn't reveal that as he sat in a chair beside the bed, idly combing through Bdubs' hair as he watched him eat. His former soulmate did admit that if not dealt with, he was going to die soon and how he wasn't sure if he'd be dead for good, respawn with the disease or be okay.

"Is there anything I can do?" He softly asked, brushing his thumb over his temple.

Bdubs pursed his lips as he idly stirred his soup. "I-" he sighed. "It's- it's hard to explain, not because it's complicated but because it's... difficult. But essentially, it's really all up to me," Bdubs mumbled.

Leaning over, Impulse kissed his temple. "Well, whatever it is you need to do, I'll stay by your side as long as you'll let me. I'm here to support you however I can," he promised.

The poor builder was only given another ten minutes of peaceful eating before he had to throw up more flowers.

The good news was that he wasn't choking right away.

The bad news was he only made it a few steps past his bed before collapsing to his knees.

As he coughed up a pool of petals, blood and thorny flowers with tears dripping down, Impulse tried not to cry himself. He felt completely helpless as all he could do was whisper soft words of encouragement as he rubbed his back.

"Is this okay?" He double-checked once the flowers seemed to reach a lull.

Bdubs numbly nodded, sitting back on his knees to lean against his chest. "Thank you," he mumbled, wiping the blood from his chin.

Wrapping his arms around him, he peppered kisses on his head. His heart twisted when suddenly Bdubs broke down sobbing and covered his face. "I hate this!" He cried. "I feel so pathetic and stupid!"

"Hey, hey, don't talk about my favorite person like that," he lightly teased.

Between his sniffles, Bdubs laughed a little which was enough to somewhat ease Impulse.

Maybe, just maybe, Bdubs would believe him soon enough.

-

Impulse loves me. Impulse loves me.

As he laid in bed with his eyes shut, Bdubs continued to repeat the three words over and over in his mind. Yet a small voice in the back of his head pushed against the idea, claiming that Impulse was simply used to being sweet and affectionate. Maybe he didn't realize he didn't love Bdubs anymore.

Opening his eyes, he looked over at the hermit sitting beside his bed, head leaning on the comforter, gazing at him with half lidded eyes as he rubbed his thumb over his hand.

Or maybe I'm being stupid, and maybe he does love me back.

Something he had refrained from telling Impulse was how he could feel something steadily clogging his chest. The uncomfortable, sharp feeling led him to believe a bundle of thorns and flowers were slowly growing inside.

He was running out of time.

Each time he took a breath, it never felt like enough air.

"You should really try to sleep," Impulse quietly urged, lightly squeezing his hand.

He attempted to take a deep breath but all it resulted in was weak, raspy coughs. Immediately Impulse sat up, worry washing over his face. "I'm fine," he hoarsely lied. "And you should sleep too."

Impulse peppered kisses on his forehead, leading him to close his eyes again.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

Not just the growing plant in his lungs, but his longing to believe each touch of affection, each soft word Impulse spoke. As he heard his former soulmate sit back down still holding his hand, he sniffled. "I do love you," he managed to whisper.

"And I love you," Impulse replied. "I just wish that you'd believe me."

Eyes opening, he looked over at him. Does he know?

The pained look that greeted him confirmed his suspicion. "Please, Bdubs. I've never stopped loving you," Impulse urged, squeezing his hand as he held it against his lips.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but he began to hyperventilate instead as he felt the vines grow inside him. Abruptly sitting up, he coughed as his chest heaved, uneven breaths unable to give him the proper air support he needed.

Knocking the chair over as he stood up, Impulse draped an arm over him. "It's okay, it's okay just focus on taking as deep of a breath as you can," he encouraged, rubbing his back. "Do you want to head to the bathroom?"

He weakly shook his head no as he coughed up a few stray petals. His head hit the pillow as he laid back down. "I-I can't- can't- breathe," he whispered, breathing heavily through his nose.

Impulse hushed him, pushing his hair out of his face. "It- It'll be alright! Just don't- don't force yourself to- to uh to talk, okay?" He knelt beside the bed, clasping one of his hands between his. "I'm not going anywhere, promise."

With desperate coughs, he felt something grow into his throat. "Impulse," he exhaled, using what little energy he was clinging onto to squeeze his hand.

Sniffling, Impulse blinked away tears. "Bdubs please I'm literally begging you to believe me. I want to get married again, I want to be the main person you rely on. I love you so much, I love you Bdubs," he begged.

A small smile stretched across his face. He couldn't get a single word out, but if he could he would've apologized profusely for being so stubborn and not believing him. He wanted to confess his love all over again.

-

Watching the sparkle of life slip away from Bdubs' eyes caused Impulse to choke on a sob. "No, no Bdubs please," he cried, tightly gripping his hand. He sobbed in horror as flowers sprouted in his mouth with a few vines and roots surrounding.

His uncontrollable sobbing echoed around the room as he pressed his forehead against Bdubs' hand. There was so much more he could've said, could've done to prove his love for Bdubs, yet he didn't do it. He didn't do enough and that cost his life.

He wasn't respawning either, which only made Impulse sob harder.

There was a strange noise, and when Impulse looked up, he took a shaky breath in disbelief.

The vines were shrinking back into Bdubs, disintegrating as they went. A mere few seconds later, his former soulmate gasped and sat up.

With a large smile, Impulse reached over and tightly hugged him. "Never, never scare me like that again," he chided before pressing kisses all over his head.

"I'm so sorry," Bdubs whispered, clinging tightly to his shirt. "I'll never doubt you again. I love you so much, I love you."

Pulling back slightly, Impulse firmly kissed him. Bdubs was quick to chase for a second kiss. "I love you too," he murmured against his lips.

Cracking a smile, Bdubs leaned into the hand holding his cheek. "I know you do," he whispered.