Au: Real/Modern World (still minesonas)

Word Count: ~3.2k

TW: Mild swearing, mentions of harassment and bullying

Also, sorry not sorry for all of this Bdoc

And I may or may not have become addicted to hurting poor Bdubs

"Are you excited?" Hyper energy radiated from Keralis as he danced around Bdubs' dorm room.

"Of course I am, they're our friends, after all!" the freckled student laughed. It was times like this that Bdubs was glad he got a single room in his college dorm. If he had to share the space with someone, who knows how annoyed they'd be with his friend practically bouncing off the walls.

"And in college, we'll probably get an apartment together or something!"

"I guess I wouldn't mind being roommates with you, DoubleO," 

Bdubs laughed as his friend nudged him, and proceeded to beat him in yet another virtual race.

Bdubs' face fell as a small memory and a face popped up in the back of his mind. His friend could clearly tell something was wrong as he immediately calmed down and took the freckled brunette's hand.

"You ready, Bubbles?" Keralis gently asked. Snapping out of it, the shorter brunette plastered a smile on his face.

"Yeah, let's not keep Etho and Beef waiting."

"So how's the record store?" the short college student asked, playing with his straw. He and Keralis met up with their high school buddies at a small cafe, and were catching up after being out of touch for nearly a year and a half.

"It's pretty great!" Beef grinned from across the table. "And if you're ever in need of a job, I could always use the extra help," he said, half-jokingly.

As the four friends spent the afternoon chatting, the same face kept creeping up on Bdubs. Glancing out the window, he took a deep breath. He was surrounded by his best friends, so he knew he should try to be positive. Keralis would just tell me to not even think about him anyway, not give him the time of day. He reminded himself.

The rest of the meetup flew by and suddenly it was time to say good-bye.

"Let's not wait another year and a half to hang out again, okay?" Etho suggested as they all stood outside the restaurant. After saying their farewells, and promising to keep in touch, the four went their separate ways. Beef and Keralis needed to head to their jobs, and Etho had to help his boyfriend xB move into a new apartment, so that left Bdubs alone.

Seeing as he had some tests coming up, he saw it most fitting to stop by his dorm, grab his things, and head to the library. Maybe I should take the subway. He thought to himself as he walked down the busy streets. I know it's just one stop, but it would probably be faster than walking. He paused thoughtfully. Then again, I'm not in any rush, and getting the extra miles in never hurt.

Lost in his own thoughts, Bdubs didn't see the man walking towards him, and the two collided.

"Sorry I didn't see you there," Bdubs laughed, rubbing his hand. Looking up at the poor stranger, his heart dropped as horror washed over his face. He locked eyes with the hybrid across from him, freezing in terror while strangers passed by around them.

"Uh, hey, Bdubs." Doc awkwardly smiled and stood up, brushing himself off. He offered a robotic hand to the shocked boy.

Getting up on his own, the freckled brunette blinked back tears as he walked past Doc, hoping no one could tell how shaky he was.

"W-wait!" the taller brunette called after him in protest. Bdubs walked faster, immediately wishing he'd broken into a run as the hybrid easily caught up to him. Doc gently grabbed his arm. "Listen, I know it's been a while, but-"

"Let go of me." The shorter brunette's voice was low and surprisingly menacing - even to himself. He refused to look at Doc as he pulled his arm free from his grasp. "I don't want to talk to you so please, don't follow me and leave me alone."

The tall hybrid watched as his old friend walked away, disappearing into the crowd of bustling city folk, unaware of how close Bdubs was to crying. After all these years, Doc never understood the impact he had made, but here he finally began to understand. I really fucked up, didn't I?

"Hey, Keralis, I know you won't get this for a while since you're working, but please, call me as soon as you can." Bdubs' voice wavered as he sat on the ground next to his bed. Running a hand through his hair, he tried to calm himself down. However, his heart continued to race and once the first tear escaped, the rest came flowing out. All of his old memories he'd spent years repressing finally managed to break free.

Bdubs had known Doc since they were little. Since they lived on the same street, they always had time to get into some form of trouble. In elementary school they met Keralis, who - in all the years Bdubs knew him - never stopped being a ball of sunshine. Beef and Etho became friends with Doc first near the end of elementary and were quick to attach to the freckled boy as well.

He always knew he felt differently about Doc than his other friends. It wasn't until middle school that he finally understood what he was feeling was love. However, he never had the guts to confess, seeing as Doc was straight. But when his childhood friend told him and their other friends that he was moving away once junior year was over, Bdubs realized it was now or never.

As the two friends walked home a week before the move, whatever Doc was going on about was drowned out by Bdubs' beating heart. Finally, he managed to build up the courage to stop, and tugged on Doc's arm so he'd do the same.

"What's wrong?" The hybrid asked.

The freckled brunette stared at the ground. "I-I don't know how to say this-"

"Well whatever it is," Doc placed a hand on his shoulder. "You know I'm always here for you DoubleO," he reassured him.

"I'm in love with you, Doc," Bdubs blurted out, looking up at him. He stared hopefully into his eyes, unsure what to expect.

The ringing of Bdubs' phone brought him back to the present. Wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath, he answered the call.

"Hey Grian, what's up?" He hoped his cheerfulness didn't sound too fake.

"Not much - just wanted to ask if you wanted to meet up and work on our group project. We're almost done, after all!"

"Sure! I was already planning on heading to the library to study, so why don't we meet up there?" Grian agreed, and after saying goodbye to his classmate, Bdubs got up. He packed a couple things into a drawstring bag and left the dorm. Just forget about him; if he sees you in public he will avoid you. The brunette reassured himself.

Grian let out a long, dramatic sigh as he stretched in his chair.

"I feel so much better now that we got that done." He closed his laptop, and slumped back. Bdubs closed his laptop as well.

"Agreed." He watched as the blonde boy packed his things and slung his bag over his shoulder.

"You're gonna stay here?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think I want to get some more studying done for the test next week," the freckled brunette explained, pulling out his study notes.

"Well you have fun with that!"

After saying good-bye, Bdubs stared at his notes, figuring this would be the perfect distraction from earlier. As he began cracking down on his notes on architecture, he thought he heard Grian's voice outside the window. He slowly glanced up only to immediately snap back to his papers. Doc is right there! Bdubs began to freak out as he tried to keep his attention on his work.

"I don't mean to sound like a creep, but do you know Bdubs?" The tall, dark brunette hybrid asked awkwardly. Grian raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"What's it to you?" He asked defensively.

"I'm Doc, an old friend of his. I've really messed up and was hoping-"

"Wait, you're Doc?" he interrupted, recognizing the name. Bdubs had opened up not too long ago and explained to Grian the whole 'Doc' situation. Remembering how torn apart his friend had behaved by just mentioning the childhood friend sent Grian into full defense mod. "Sorry buddy, but I think it would be best if you kept your distance."

Doc's eyes widened, as he realized this blonde boy must know. "Listen; I get that you're trying to protect Bdubs, but I just want to apologise."

"Now you listen well." Grian stepped towards him, unaware that Bdubs could hear him as his voice rose. "Are you aware how much you hurt him? I don't think you really understand the damage, and to be fair, neither do I. So here's what I suggest; give him space. Leave him be, or else you may end up causing more damage." He was ready to fight Doc then and there, but instead the hybrid sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

"I get it, really. Just-" he wanted to ask this guy to tell Bdubs he was sorry, but that seemed like a little bit of a crappy move. So instead he shook his head and walked away.

Bdubs looked up as Grian ran back into the library.

"You will not believe what just happened! I-"

"I saw, and I heard what you told him. Well, just the last part, and thank you," he interrupted, smiling softly. The blondie gave him a hug and the two left the library, walking their separate ways.

The short brunette was just outside his dorm building when he got a call. Keralis must've seen his message. The second he answered the phone, his best friend launched into an apology, and frantically asked if everything was okay. Bdubs had so much to say, but he figured it'd be best to do it in person. So he asked Keralis to meet him.

"-And then he just walked away after Grian basically told him off," the freckled brunette finished. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, Keralis listening intently from his desk chair as he explained everything.

"And how are you feeling?" He quietly asked, speaking up for the first time since Bdubs started his story.

"Confused, nervous, angry," he said with closed eyes. "Why show up all of a sudden with no warning? How did he find me? What if I try to fix things and everything ends up worse? But at the same time- does he really think an apology will make up for what he let happen? For what he did?" The wide eyed brunette pulled him into a comforting hug.

"It's getting kind of late, so why don't you sleep on this and tomorrow we can meet up with Beef and Etho at the record shop and tell them everything. I'll even call them myself," he suggested.

Nodding, Bdubs waited for his friend to leave before getting ready for bed.

Clenching his blanket, Bdubs stared at his wall. He felt emotional all over again but refused to cry anymore. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to relax, and somehow was able to drift off.

"I really don't know what to say," Etho admitted. The four friends stood around the register, chatting. Bdubs caught them up to speed and proceeded to ask what they all thought he should do.

"Maybe you should just hear him out?" Beef gently suggested. "You don't have to forgive him, or be his friend again, but at least hear what he has to say?"

Etho and Keralis turned to Bdubs, awaiting his decision. He simply held his hands up. "Wait since when was this all on me?" He awkwardly laughed in an attempt to brighten the mood.

"Well, you were the one who was most affected by Doc's choices," the bearded man pointed out.

Biting his lip, the shortest brunette agreed to hear the hybrid out. The only thing left now was to find him. The four of them had lost contact with him when he moved away. They didn't know if he changed his number or chose to ignore their messages, but either way, none of them knew how to reach him.

Somehow, fate had everything planned out; not ten minutes later Doc stumbled into the record shop. He looked to each of his old friends, and swallowed. He didn't even realize they were all here until he saw them in the window.

Before one of them could say anything, he quickly stated, "I know I'm an ass, you don't need to remind me. And I know I owe all of you an explanation and apologies, but please-" his gaze shifted directly to Bdubs, who managed to hold eye contact with him. "Bdubs you deserve it the most. So please, can we talk outside?"

The freckled boy glanced around at his friends before nodding to his old childhood friend. Keralis gave his shoulder a little squeeze before he headed out the door.

Standing on the pavement outside Beef's record shop, Bdubs crossed his arms and stared up at Doc.

"So are you finally going to tell me where you've been and why you stopped talking to everyone? I can understand why you wanted to never speak with me, but our friends? Seriously?" A part of him was surprised he was able to sound so cold. The taller brunette took a deep breath

"It was unfair of me to never explain myself to you. There was so much I wanted to tell you, but I was too... confused. I made awful mistakes that hurt everyone, especially you. I promise you I never told anyone a word but even so I never should've let those kids bully and harrass you. Also-" the taller hybrid looked away for a moment, before forcing himself to keep eye contact with his old friend. "I'm sorry for laughing at you, DoubleO. It was a really shitty move on my part."

"So why did you laugh?" He quietly asked.

"I- For a long time I was unsure of my own feelings. It wasn't until you confessed to me that I finally understood what I was feeling. But at the same time, I was... scared. Scared that my family would drive me away, that the world would, or that maybe I would end up hurting you. And so I just... laughed. I wasn't aware how wrong it was until the day I had to leave. I waited for you to come outside and say goodbye. But you never did- and rightfully so. It wasn't until I saw you yesterday did I finally realize how severe the damage of my mistakes were."

Bdubs finally managed to relax his shoulders. Wait, did Doc just kind of confess? He tried to brush the thought out of his mind. It doesn't matter, you lost your feelings for him forever ago. He insisted.

Though a part of him knew that wasn't true and that deep down, he never truly managed to let go of his feelings.

"I almost called you a while ago," Doc added while keeping himself calm. "I wanted to talk things out, but I didn't know if you changed numbers, or if I asked you to meet up with me that you wouldn't. So basically, I acted like a coward."

"And bumping into me yesterday?"

"Was by pure chance. I got a job offer in this city and was on my way to the interview when we ran into each other. But once I saw you again I knew this would be my only chance to make things right." His heart began to race as he contemplated continuing, feeling his face grow warm he brushed his hair back.

My god does he still look hot when he does that. Wait, what am I thinking? Bdubs could feel Keralis', Beef's and Etho's eyes all on them from in the shop, yet he tried his best to ignore it. He spent years trying to suppress his feelings and try to convince himself and everyone around him that he was over Doc, but now all of that was rushing back.

"I know this is the worst time to say this, but I know if I don't now I'll stay a coward and will never admit it. You have every right to laugh in my face, but Bdubs- there has never been a moment in my life that I wasn't in love with you. Hurting you and letting other people do the same was the worst thing I ever did and I'm so sorry I let that happen." Bdubs blushed as his childhood friend spoke, and flushed even more when the darker brunette took his hands. "But I promise you I will make it up to you, and never let anyone hurt you ever again. I want to be with you, but if you ever want me to go, I will."

When the freckled brunette didn't respond, Doc let go of his hands and stepped away.

"I love you, Bdubs," he whispered.

The shorter brunette's heart was beating so loud he could hardly hear his own thoughts. The tall hybrid was searching his eyes for an answer, for something, but all Bdubs could do was stare back dumbfounded. Turning around, the brunette hybrid drew a hand over his face, attempting to regain his composure. He still had to talk with his other friends, though he had a strong suspicion that they heard everything. The last thing he expected was to feel arms wrapping around his waist and feel someone nuzzling his back.

Bdubs leaned back, allowing a teary-eyed Doc to turn and face him. Tears began flowing down the shorter male's face as a wave of emotions crashed over the dam he had set up so long ago. Smiling softly, the tall male held him close.

The freckled male couldn't help himself as he leaned up and kissed the love of his life. It was messy, and full of tears, but sweet. Doc stroked Bdubs hair as he kissed away his tears. The short male clung to the back of his shirt as he muttered 'I love you' over and over. Hugging him tight, the brunette hybrid leaned his head into Bdubs' shoulder as he whispered words of promise.

They clung to each other outside that record store, scared to ever let go. Even when Etho, Beef and Keralis stepped outside to talk, Bdubs still clung to his arm like a small child. Yes, he didn't fully forgive Doc right away, but for now he was just happy to have the guy he loved back in his life once more. It was going to take some time to completely patch up the holes left by past mistakes, but Bdubs had a strong feeling that he and Doc would be able to make it work.