Au: None 

Word Count: ~2k

TW/CW: PTSD/Trauma

(I feel like it's a crime I've never written standalone Beetho content)

After going through a traumatic near-death experience, Etho went numb. He no longer showed emotions, spoke, or hardly acknowledged anything. The hermits were worried how long he'd be this way, but not Beef. Beef believed in his boyfriend and in his own abilities to help him.

"Is there anything you want to do today?" Beef asked as they sat together for breakfast at his hacienda. Etho didn't even look at him and just blinked. Although his mask hid it, Beef knew his lips were cemented into a thin line. He in turn gave a cheerful smile. "Well, I need to check on my shops in the shopping district. We can check on yours too if you want! It's such a nice day!"

The white-haired hermit just lowered his mask to eat a piece of waffle. It may not seem like much, Beef was proud of him for just eating. It took him almost a month to get him to eat by himself. "You look so beautiful today," the brunette murmured, kissing his temple. Etho's cheeks gained a light dusting of pink, but his expression stayed still.

-

Hand in hand, the two made their way through the shopping district. They made their rounds to both of their shops while Beef made idle conversation. Occasionally he'd ask Etho a small question but never pushed for an answer.

Once they finished - and visited a few shops to buy some things - Beef looked to the shorter. He looks worn out, he realized with a soft smile. "Let's get you back," the brunette murmured, kissing his forehead.

When they were back inside the hacienda, the taller pulled supplies together so he could continue to work over at Three Fox Hole. "Alrighty, I'll be heading out! Do you want to come with?" he asked as he tucked his shulker boxes back into his inventory.

He could tell the cosplayer was hesitating, so he ruffled his hair. "You don't have to, y'know? Plus it'll probably just be boring for you to just sit and watch." In response, Etho sat down on a nearby couch and slowly curled up. As much as Beef didn't want to leave him, he knew he was capable of taking care of himself.

Etho didn't need him by his side all the time, but Beef couldn't share the sentiment.

As selfish as that may be.

-

By the time he returned the sun was low. He had eaten lunch while building, and it seemed Etho had eaten as well. Speaking of whom, he found him sitting outside and gazing at the clouds. After a peaceful dinner, Beef tucked him into his side of the bed and gave his cheek a soft kiss. "Night, Etho," he whispered, the same smile still on his face.

He left the bedroom momentarily, claiming it was for the bathroom.

And although he did this every night, he never made it past the bedroom door.

He sat just outside, his smile fading far too fast as his anxiety consumed him from the shadows lurking in the night. Sitting on the ground he hugged his knees and buried his face between them and his chest to muffle his quiet cries.

What if Etho never gets better, and he stays this way forever? And if he does begin to respond again, who's to say the first thing he does isn't push me away and criticize me for being so clingy? The same thoughts circled his mind as they always did, every night for weeks.

Beef keeps his doubts and worries tucked away during the daytime, as Etho comes first. But he always allows himself just a few minutes during the night to let some of his emotions out. It's all he needs, really.

Slowly getting up and wiping his eyes, he headed back into the room. Etho's soft and steady breathing told him he was already out. Careful as to not disturb him, he crawled under the blanket as well. The paler was facing him, and he couldn't help but gaze at his face until he too succumbed to the depths of sleep.

-

It was supposed to be clear weather the next day.

There was never supposed to be a thunderstorm.

With no signs of clouds in the sky, the two had found a hardly touched spruce forest to grab some wood from. Ren was out of stock yesterday, but Beef didn't mind collecting some himself. Etho helped him, picking up blocks he dropped and placing them in the shulker box.

But then out of nowhere, a flash of lightning set a tree ablaze around a mile away. They had both jumped, but Etho crouched and covered his head. Beef was still in a tree so he scrambled down as fast as possible. Because they had nowhere to go, he had to make a makeshift shelter. He wrapped an arm over his quivering partner and the other held onto his bicep while gently rubbing up and down. When the rain began to pour, the white-haired hermit turned into his chest and gripped his hair tighter.

"I'm here, it's okay," he whispered over and over again. Kissing his temple, he let go of his arm and reached into his inventory for his shovel. While still holding onto the shorter he dug them a little 2 by 2 and guided him underneath the surface. He placed a spare grey-tinted glass block above so they knew when the rain would stop. Covering up the entrance he placed a torch down and pulled the other into his lap.

He planted delicate kisses on his head while tightly hugging him. In the glow of the torch's light, Etho slowly but surely let his hair go and brought his hands down to grasp Beef's shirt. With each roar of thunder or flash of lighting, he'd tighten his grip, but the moment it faded he'd flex his hands. "See? It's okay, I'm right here," the brunette murmured. He glanced over his shoulder and up at the glass window. Shadows of water danced on the andesite floor below.

Around an hour later, the rain finally ceased. He stroked the shorter's hair until he was fully relaxed. He glanced up, and there was a small glint in his eyes.

"Don't feel sorry, it's completely understandable," he assured him, kissing his forehead. He hoped he seemed calm to Etho because personally, he was still freaking out. The last time it rained like that the cosplayer wouldn't move for the rest of the day. He was so still it was terrifying. I don't want that to happen again, he worried.

But it didn't.

The hermit slowly stood up and the taller followed. While he filled in the hole Etho climbed out and looked around. The rain had ceased the fires, so thankfully not much was destroyed.

-

That night, it was the same routine.

While fighting back an overflow of tears, Beef gently tucked the other into bed and said goodnight with a soft kiss to his head. He slipped out of the room and collapsed with a shaky breath. He tried to tell himself it'll all be okay, and little by little every day Etho will get better will be better.

But how long will that take? he feared, gripping his legs.

-

When he returned to the room, he found his boyfriend once again turned to face his side of the bed, so when he climbed in he could gaze at his peaceful face until he too drifted off.

-

Just like the previous few weeks, the rest of this week was just the same. After a deceivingly normal day, it'd end with Beef letting out quiet cries of fear until he exhausted himself and went to bed. At this rate, he felt like Etho was going to be this way forever. Never responding or acknowledging anyone, no matter how much he and the other hermits acted like everything was normal.

-

One night, as Beef pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead, he bit back a sob. His other arm was hugging his legs, and he bitterly wondered how much longer he could go on like this. As much as he refused to admit it, Etho almost dying shook him to his core. He was so terrified he was going to lose the love of his life to a storm in the middle of the open water. And if he did, then he'd probably be in the same state as the white-haired hermit right now.

Shutting his eyes, he tried to not think about it, to try and focus on what good has happened since. But it was far too hard and far too late into the night to have clear thoughts. I should head to bed, he figured.

But before he could get up or stop his tears, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. The other tenderly held his bicep and slowly rubbed up and down as Etho leaned his head against his shoulder. Blinking, Beef stared at him.

He was comforting him just as he had earlier that week during the thunderstorm.

"E-Etho, I'm sorry for waking you," he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of his tears.

The shorter hushed him and kissed his cheek. Sniffling, the brunette turned his body so he could bury himself in his embrace.

Where his lips touched him was burning, reminding him how much he missed it. He held onto Etho as if he'd die for real if he let go. When he got a light pat on the back, he took a deep breath and pulled back. "Let's get you back to bed," the brunette hermit whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Once under the blankets, Etho scooched over to be close to him, and the two fell asleep, Beef draping an arm over the other.

-

The next day, Etho was back to how he was the day prior. Not speaking or showing emotions on his face. Or that's what he thought.

When breakfast was over and Beef told him Iskall would be dropping by soon and kissed his head, he was surprised to find Etho leaning into the touch and closing his eyes.

"I love you so much," he beamed, taking his pale hand and kissing the back. His fingers twitched and ever so slightly closed down on Beef's. After squeezing his hand, he let go to clear the table.

Things really were getting better.

By the time Iskall arrived, Beef was glowing. The hermit had stopped by for a small trade of items. "How's Etho doing?" they asked after checking the shulker box they were given.

"He's doing great," he said. Probably because he heard his name, the mute poked his head around the corner. He slowly walked up and stood beside Beef.

"Nice to see you, Etho!" they greeted with a little wave. The hermit gave a small nod of acknowledgment.

The enby builder seemed to understand how important that movement was and grinned. "See ya guys later!" they called as they flew off.

-

For the first time in months, Beef didn't feel like crying that night. But even if he wanted to, his boyfriend wasn't going to let him leave the room. As he pulled the blanket over him and pressed a good-night kiss to his forehead, a hand gripped his sleeve.

Etho gave a small tug, and he laughed. "Alright, alright." He crawled under the blanket as well. Scooching closer, the cosplayer placed a light kiss on his jaw before staring at him with determined eyes.

"I love you," he whispered. "Please don't cry."

Despite his soft words, tears built up in Beef's eyes and he pursed his lips. He pulled the shorter into a tight hug. Hearing his voice, his reassurance, truly made him hope for the best. He knew when morning came Etho would continue to not speak, and probably wouldn't for a while.

But he was never going to give up.