Mumbo: I'm sorry, but in defense, some babies were dropped on their heads.

Mumbo: I was clearly thrown at a wall.

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Doc: Who ate the cookies?

Etho: Ninjas.

Doc: I didn't see any ninjas.

Etho: Nobody ever does.

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False: I love how people who ask my about my plans just assume I know what day it is.

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Scar: When life puts you down, get into a comfy position and take a nap.

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As a group: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH

Bdubs and Scar: JINGLE BELLS!

Mumbo: Kill ourselves!

Impulse: Hit me with a sleigh!

Xisuma: I'm so done.

Grian: This isn't fun.

Joe: There goes my GPA!

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Bdubs: Do you ever just walk around thinking you're better than everyone else?

Ren: No, I walk around knowing I'm better than everyone else.

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Therapist: You said you're childhood was satisfactory?

Grian: No, you misheard, I said 'sadness factory'.

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Zed: I love Paddington 2. It's perfect in every form.

Impulse: Really? How did you like number one then?

Zed: Haven't watched it.

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Joe, concerned: Is this another depressive episode?

Cleo: Depressive episode? Joe, this is a series of depression and we're on season one.

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False, laughing: My type? You're asking for my type? Alright then.

False: My type is a man with duct tape on his mouth, a spear through his chest whilst on fire and dangling from the ceiling.

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Mature hermits: There is no problem we can't solve.

Immature hermits: There is no problem we can't create.

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Mumbo: *Gives Grian melatonin and magnesium to make him calm down*

Grian: *Gives himself caffeine right afterwards*

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Impulse: Can't you two be happy??

Zed: Best I can do is fake smile and dead eyes.

Tango: Best I can do is 'not sad'.

Impulse: Sold!

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Therapist: I mean, I don't see the issue. You seem like a really good person?

Grian: Oh no, I've tricked you too.

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Scar, to his bully: You better shut up before I show you my fists!

Sticky note on his right fist: Please

Sticky note on his left fist: Be nice to me <3

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Grian: When I die, Iskall and Mumbo are dying too.

Grian: "He'd would want them to be happy and move on-" Yeah no I don't, they're getting in this casket with me.

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Doc, life guarding a pool:

Bdubs: *Drowning*

Doc: Y'Know I'd save him, but who am I to play God.

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Impulse, tiredly lecturing Zed: Drink your school, stay in sleep, don't do milk and get eight hours of drugs.

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Grian: Australians are just British Texans.

Mumbo: Grian, no-

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Xisuma: Why are you late?

Keralis: A technical error occurred, causing a long bought of unconsciousness.

Xisuma: Overslept?

Keralis: Overslept.

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Python, frustrated: Well Rome wasn't built in a day!

Wels: Yeah, but it was burned in one.

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Cub: Just to ruin your day, living people eat dead mushrooms and living mushrooms eat dead people.

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Ex: If you're going to talk bad about me behind my back, at least invite me.

Ex: I mean, I hate that person too.

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Joe: Knock knock.

Cleo: Who's there??

Joe: Daisy.

Cleo: Daisy who?

Joe, putting on glasses and flipping on a dad-jacket: DAISY ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN'

Cleo:

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Bdubs: What's the difference between wisdom and knowledge? Well, knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but wisdom is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad.

Keralis: Yeah but what makes it a fruit?

Bdubs: Well it grows above ground.

Keralis: So wouldn't that make a pepper a fruit?

Bdubs: *Look of defeat*

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Scar: Yeah, but like, has the Black Panther dude ever seen something dumb and then thought 'Wakanda nonsense is this?!'

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Zed: *Hugs Impulse*

Impulse:

Impulse: What did you do.

Zed: So I had a headache.

Impulse: *Nodding slowly*

Zed: So I took some ibuprofen.

Zed: But now I'm not sure if I took ibuprofen or just got it mixed up with my morphine.

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Biffa: Do you have to drink so much coffee ever day?

Xisuma: It cures my depression.

Biffa: I don't think it works like that..

Xisuma: More espresso less depresso

Impulse, toasting with vodka: Can't argue with that.

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Gemini: I like to spend my days just vibin.

Pearl: You're not 'vibing', you're in clear psychological distress.

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Xisuma: There's a fine line between stupidity and bravery!

Grian: Yeah, and I'll strut down that line!

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Wels: Do I look like I know what I'm doing?

Beef: Yes?

Wels: Oh, good, I should go fool the others as well.

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Grian: *Happy sad noises*

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Impulse: Lets go get pie for breakfast!

Zed: Yes!! C'mon!!

Tango: Wait you two both have pajamas on though..

Impulse, running down the street: It's a pie shop not a church, now c'mon!

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Xisuma: There is always a reason to drink tea-

Biffa, pouring himself a glass: -quila.

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Xisuma: I am depressed.

Zed: I have the big sad.

Doc: I may look fly, but I want to die.

Mumbo: I'm dressed to impress but stressed and depressed.

Joe: And I'm highly concerned.

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Biffa: If you expect a kick in the balls but get a slap in the face then it's a victory.

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