Zed: Stop assuming that if a friend jumped off a cliff, I would jump off after them.

Impulse: Zed, no you wouldn't. You're not that dumb.

Zed: Are we sure about that?

Impulse:

Impulse: ..no

---------

Biffa: Have you eaten today?

Xisuma: No?

Biffa, handing him a granola bar: Here, it's-

Xisuma: It has tiny chocolate chips!!

Biffa, trying to get it back and panicking: No no no, don't eat that one! That's the one with sedatives for Grian!

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Keralis: Have you ever imagined what it's like to die mentally, but still have a physical body?

Joe: Yes.

---------

Bdubs: Join the dark side! We have chocolate and muffins!

Scar: I'M IN!

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Grian: I'm ok, I haven't done anything stupid.

Mumbo: Get comfy, I have a lot to say.

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Iskall: Do you love me?

Stress: I love you as much as there are stars in the sky.

Iskall:

Iskall: It's morning..

Stress, putting on sunglasses and never looking back: Exactly.

---------

Tango: Aren't you forgetting something?

Etho: Uh.. no..

Tango: It's my birthday!

Etho: Nonono, your birthday was last year.

Tango: Ohhh ok!

Joe: did I just hear that correctly?!

---------

Cub: It's official, I'm a ten-star LA hotel broke.

Scar: I'm McDonalds ice cream machine broke..

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Hels: I will kill you.

Wels: Interesting, but I'm already four steps ahead of you on that one buddy.

Ex: I will kill you.

Xisuma: Please.

Zed: I will kill you!!

Tango, who's already halfway down a cliff:

Stress: I will kill you-

Stress, holding her arms out: With kindness!

Mumbo: I am SO CLOSE to killing you right now!!

Grian: Good luck, God won't accept me and Satan fears me.

---------

Cub: *Walks in room*

Scar: Marry me!

Cub: *Looks at Jellie, mourning 'run'*

Scar, hugging Jellie: Aww! And we're gonna spend our lives together! And see movies! And I'll pet you during the scary parts of Cub not having coffee! And we'll cuddle and snuggle our hearts away!

---------

Ren: Hey Doc, if you got your arm cut off-

Doc:

---------

Joe: Cleo stop lying.

Cleo:

Cleo: You are old. Your hair is grayer than a stone brick. Nobody thinks your big words are smart because they sound off and nobody gets them. Your humor is highly outdated and makes me want to kill myself. You act like your the dad of the server but you're not, so let me blow stuff up. I can get away with murder, don't tell me otherwise. You also have really bad penmanship and dress like a fart. 'Scrabble' is a game for nerds who spend their days obsessing over dictionaries, so making the word 'Floccinaucinihilipilification' just looks bad on you and makes people get angry. I actually googled this just to tell you in unnecessarily lengthy letters to make you pay attention- I'd describe you as 'Sesquipedalian.' Also, the yellow skittles are not good, at all. So stop making me eat them.

Joe:

Joe, tearing up: I was talking about the donuts...

---------

Grian: I want to die.

Iskall: Grian said that TEA is DUMB!

Xisuma:

<Server> Grian has been slain by Xisuma
<Server> Grian has been banned from the server

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Mumbo, crying: Xisuma I failed the test!!

Xisuma: What'd you get?

Mumbo: Only 150% out of 100%...

Grian: Well I passed my quiz!

Xisuma, skeptically: Really?

Grian: Yeah the teacher said if I never showed up to class again then she'd pass me on everything.

---------

Etho: Aha!

xB: What?

Etho: The correct answer to 'What steps do you take in case of a fire' isn't 'effing large ones,' it's 'Pull out the kababs and pop a soda.'

xB: Etho-

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Scar: The sacred banana.

Grian: baNANA?!

Grian: Buuuuuuhhhh-nana!

Grian: Banana!

Grian: Buh-buh! Banana!

Grian and Scar: BUH-NANANANANANANANANANANA! BUH-BUH! BANANA!

---------

Zed: C'mon let's give Impulse a couple hours to himself.

Impulse: *Getting hopeful*

Tango: Yeah, c'mon!

Impulse: *Clearly excited for them to leave and never come back*

Zed, cackling: Never-mind!

Tango, hugging Impulse: Yeah, we're never leaving your side..

Impulse: *Screaming*

---------

Grian: Hellooo-

Mumbo: Iskall has gummies.

Grian: Good-byyyyyeee!

---------

Doc: So I was thinking-

Keralis: Careful there buddy, it can be hard doing things for the first time.

Doc:

Keralis, running away: DON'T KILL ME DON'T KILL ME DON'T KILL ME DON'T KILL ME!

---------

Jevin: Hey Xisuma, I'm excited for whatever cool and fun and new thing you're showing is tomorrow at the meeting!

Xisuma, having forgot about it: Uh.. yeah!

Jevin: *Smiling and walking away knowing that there isn't really a meeting*

Jevin, later that night, whispering into Xisuma's ear: You're getting a blue slushy machine, you're getting a blue slushy machine..

Xisuma, waking up: I think I'll get the Hermits a slushie machine..

Jevin: *Happy that people will stop trying to eat his skin and see if he's Jell-O*

---------

Joe, texting: Do you have anxiety prime?

Cleo, replying: Yeah

Joe: *amazon. Amazon prime.

Cleo: Oh I also have that too

---------

Tango: You're grounded, get on top of the fridge.

Impulse, climbing the fridge: This house is a nightmare!

---------

Scar: Change is inedible.

Wels: Don't you mean inevitable?

Scar, spitting out pennies: I did not.

---------

Bdubs: Hey did anyone see the bottle of paint I left here?

False, remembering Doc drank it: Uh oh..

False: Doc drank that..

Bdubs:

Bdubs: Mission complete! *Walks out*

False:

---------

Zed: Impress me.

Impulse: Why?

Tango: Good job, always question him.

---------

Etho: Hey is four a lot?

Grian: Depends on the context.

Grian: TNT? No.

Grian: Diamonds? No.

Grian: Shenanigans in one week? Definitely no.

---------

Keralis: Someone who wants to kill you is someone who cares that you're alive.

---------

Bdubs: *Walks in*

Doc: I HATE YOU!

Bdubs: ???

Doc: Sorry, habit. Good morning.

---------

Mumbo: Hey-

Grian: 😓 👁 ❌ 🗣 🇺🇸

Mumbo: Wha-?!

Grian: 👁❗️❌❗️🗣❗️🇺🇸❗️

Mumbo: *Confused screaming*

Etho, just passing by: 👌😎

Etho: He says he doesn't speak English.

Mumbo: Then what is he speaking?!?!

Etho, smugly: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

---------

Grian: This is my favorite book! And I've read fifteen!

Mumbo: Fifty isn't a lo- Wait did you say fifteen?!

---------

Bdubs: You need this crowd to like you!

Doc: Fine, how do I make these morons like me.

Bdubs:

Doc:

Doc: Don't call them morons..

Bdubs: Good instinct.

---------

Xisuma: It's Thanksgiving, please just wear something nice!

Biffa:

Xisuma: Even Cleo wore her nice leather jacket!

Cleo: It's the one with no blood.

---------

Hels: Hey-

Wels: I don't remember asking. Have a nice day.

---------

Tango: What if like... we deep fried the turkey..

Impulse:

Impulse: If you can find a store that sells deep fryers and hasn't banned you, then sure. Well deep fry the turkey.

Tango: *Laughs in Amazon*

---------