Xisuma: Team ZIT shares one brain cell. Luckily, though, it's normally Impulse who has it.

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Xisuma: See you know you have their respect when-

Xisuma: *Takes a full minute to pour a cup of tea*

Xisuma: You take a pause and they still pay attention.

Grian: Woah that was so captivating..

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Tango: I just keep digging, it's the only way out of the hole.

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Ren: So once I went to this party at this persons house that I absolutely hated. So the first thing I did was go upstairs and find the master bedroom, right? Yeah.

Ren: Then I pooped on the sheets and ran out the window.

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Zed: And then we can burn the house down??

Impulse: Uhm no.

Zed, holding up a match: Aww but I already lit the match!

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Cub: I hate bugs.

Doc: Your eyebrows contain microscopic bugs. They prevent your eyebrows to be weighed down from oils.

Cub:

Cub, one hour later and with no eyebrows: I have beaten the bugs. They will die.

Doc: Mmmm and what about that goatee?

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Grian:

Grian: *Incoherent screaming*

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Scar: Whoever makes Xisuma fall asleep will win 100 diamonds.

False, with a frying pan: Where is he?

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Beef: Sometimes I talk to myself.

Beef: Oh-em-gee! Same!

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Grian: Mumbo can you pass me the cereal water?

Mumbo: Please, Grian, never again.

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Ren: If being attractive was a crime, I'd have a life sentence.

Etho: A life sentence?! For something you didn't even commit?!

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Grian: I got grounded for a week because I got home late.

Cub: Well you deserved it! I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that then showing up again!

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Impulse: Zed would throw himself in front of a train for us.

Tango: Zed would throw himself in front of a train for fun.

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Hels: I'm going to drown you in your own blood.

Wels: I'm going to rip your arms off and beat you with them.

Stress: I'm going to slit both your Achilles, rip out your fingernails, and stab knitting needles in your eyes.

Hels and Wels: What?!

Stress: I like knitting.

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Joe: It's ok! Everything's fine!

Xisuma: I see the denial is catching on.

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Impulse, holding up a beaten and icky towel: Zed you have to get rid of this, no. I'm burning this.

Zed: Okay.

Impulse: *Lights it on fire, but it fails to catch*

Impulse: *Tries again*

Impulse: Why isn't this working?!

Zed, smirking: It won't light becuase it never fully dries.

Impulse: *Horrified screaming*

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Tango: We've been friends so long I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence.

Zed: *Nodding*

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Iskall: That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea!

Iskall: Let's do it.

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Mumbo: My sides hurt..!

Grian: Well if you'd woken up properly the first time I kicked you, I wouldn't have had to do it four more times.

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Doc: You look..

Ren, whos wearing a trash bag: Beautiful, I know.

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Doc: If we get arrested, it's your fault.

Bdubs: Probably.

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Cleo: Small fire! I set a small fire!

Joe, covered in ash: That was not 'small!'

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Grian: You've got to believe me!

Xisuma: Sorry, but I tend not to believe compulsive liars.

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Bdubs: I DO WHAT I WANT!

Keralis: I'm calling Shashwammy

Bdubs: No wait-

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Grian: But in the end, we're all human beans.

Mumbo: And togther, we will pay rice.

Stress: Ramen.

Joe:

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Scar: It's not illegal..

Xisuma, staring at Scars' chest which is full of kittens: I just.. there's so many..

Scar:

Scar: But it's not illegal..

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Bdubs, waking up: Wow I can't wait to go back to sleep tonight!

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Xisuma: I'll make you some tea.

Tango: Actually, I'm ok.

Xisuma, walking away: It's not optional.

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Scar: You know, houses are tupperware and we are Gods leftovers.

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Scar: Hey Grian can you help me carry this box? It's heavy.

Grian, picking it up effortlessly: Nothing is heavier than the weight of my depression.

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Iskall: Xisuma won't pick up.

Mumbo: I'll try.

Grian: No it won't work, me and Iskall have tried eight times-

Mumbo, over the phone to Xisuma: Hello?

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Wels: You should always, ALWAYS, be observant enough to spot an opportunity for arson when there is one.

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<Iskall> This is a uwu free zone, anyone who responds with an owo or uwu is under arrest
<Grian> Arrest for cwimes against huwumanity
<Iskall> I'll break your fingers.
<Grian> This mowotral vessel is owonly a shell of the howwors within

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Wels: Self care is covering yourself in baby oil and sliding down the seventh lane in the local bowling alley so the pinsetter will pick you up to take you to the forbidden place beind the bowling lanes where you can meet God but only on Tuesdays.

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Tango, looking back and realizing the really dumb something he did: It seemed like a good idea yesterday..

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Keralis, in a burning house: My fish!

Bdubs, trying to get Keralis to leave already: Forget the fish! We needa go now!

Keralis: But.. my fish!

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Grian: The phrase "ignore it and it will go away" does NOT apply to being chased by dozens of cop cars, trust me on that.

Mumbo: Thanks Grian, but that's now what I meant when I asked for advice..

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Xisuma: I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to another brunch.

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Joe: *Motions to Cleo*

Joe: And that's what happens when your raised by pirates.

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Biffa: Look at all the pretties!

Xisuma: Can you please stop talking about assault rifles the same way you talk about shoes?

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Impulse: So what's out escape plan?

Zed: Our what?

Impulse:

Impulse: We're all gonna die.

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Grian: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

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Wels: Well someone thought it was a good idea to throw our backup plan off a bridge!

Scar: It was on fire!

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Doc: Are you sure I can't punch his face?

Xisuma: Yes.

Doc: What if I just broke his nose a little?

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Joe: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!

Cleo: And I'm trying to subtly avoid it!

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Scar: What did one wave say to the other?

Cub: I swear, if you make one more ocean related pun, I will murder you on this island and tell everyone you died in a shipwreck.

Scar: ...well someone's salty.

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Iskall, coming out of a room, holding a bottle: Hey is this whiskey or perfume?

Ren, drinking all of it: It's perfume.

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Kidnapper: We have your son.

Xisuma: I don't have a son.

Kidnapper: Then who is this guy with an obnoxioussly bright red sweater?

Xisuma: Oh, Grian? No, you don't have him.

Kidnapper: Wh-

Xisuma, whispering: He has you. Good luck.

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Bdubs: If a bear and shark had a fight, who would win?

Xisuma: If you have any relevant questions just ask me.

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Mumbo, texting: Grian stop throwing rocks at my window. What do you think your communicators for?

Grian, texting back: Oh, your right!

Mumbo, five seconds later, looking through the broken window: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR COMMUNICATOR AT MY WINDOW?!

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Impulse: X, WE HAVE A CODE RED!

Grian: What's a code red?

Xisuma: It means Zed has the brain cell.

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