Ex, holding two pieces of bread on the side of Xisuma's head: WHAT ARE YOU?

Xisuma: An idiot sandwich?

Ex: DANG RIGHT YOU ARE

—————————

Grian: God won't kill me for he fears the power I will hold in death.

—————————

Joe: You're standing on thin ice.

Cleo: I'm standing on the floor.

Joe: It's an expression.

Cleo: It's carpet.

—————————

Tango: Would you rather stab Etho or-

Zed: Impulse.

Tango: I didn't even give you the other option..

Impulse:

Impulse: I'm feeling a bit unsafe..

—————————

Cleo: *Falls*

Cleo: I suppose I have to add gravity to my list of enemies.

—————————

Scar: :(

Literally everyone: Gosh dang-it, for the love of god take my whole bank account, no take my whole life! Just please never do that again!

—————————

Iskall: So? How's Grian?

Mumbo: Bad news..

Mumbo, stepping aside to show Grian: He's still alive..

—————————

Joe: I've got a war going on inside my mind..

Xisuma: Welcome to the club, population; Us.

—————————

Stress: Good morning!

Joe: Good morning!

Cleo: You guys sound like robots.

False, walking in: It's daylight spoonheads! If any of you breathe in my direction I WILL eat your spinal cords!

—————————

Scar: I made us friendship brackets!

Cub: Oh cool put it on-

Scar: *Puts it on Jellie*

Cub: *Sad Cub noises*

—————————

Doc: Do you take constructive criticism?

Etho: Not without crying.

—————————

Tango: *Pushing a pull door*

Impulse, watching him: You gotta push harder.

—————————

Grian: Have you ever wondered if you've gotten milk from the same cow?

Iskall: How high are you?

Grian: 5'3 on a good day, why?

—————————

Xisuma: Are you sure that's a wise decision?

Bdubs: I've never made wise decisions.

—————————

Instructor: Welcome to salsa class, who's ready to dance?

Iskall, holding a bag of chips: There's been a misunderstanding...

—————————

Narrator: Biffa. A Biffa is either your best friend or worst enemy. There is no in-between.

Biffa: I'm going to kill you for saying that-

—————————

Grian: Standing next to sunflowers make me feel weak. Like "Look at this flower. This flower is taller than I am. I am losing to a flower."

Doc: You're clearly not ready to hear about trees.

—————————

Stress: I made a little marshmallow False! Look, her arms are crossed because she's mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying her!

Stress: Do you like it?

False, choking up: Y-yes..

—————————

Impulse: This trip was 100% successful!

Xisuma: We lost Zed and Tango..

Impulse: This trip was 100% successful!

—————————

Doc: I'm not here to make friends.

Brooding darkness: Hi!

Doc: I'm here to make one friend.

—————————

Ren: Doc mentioned the word prototype. When I asked him what he meant, he said, "People are a prototype," Know I'm just scared in general.

—————————

Iskall: Were you dropped on your head as a child?

Mumbo: Bold of you to assume I was held.

—————————

False: Vibe check! *Stabs someone*

—————————

Joe: I've been giving my friend, Cleo, high fives since I met her. All of them "up high" and "down low's." But today, I'm going to hit her with a "too slow." Welcome to the real world kid.

—————————

Stress, going through the first-aid: Why is this filled with Cheetos?!

Etho, bleeding out: I thought it was funny at the time..

—————————

Grian: Adoption is hard, I mean, I want to pick the right one for our family ya know?

Mumbo: Grian just choose a chicken already.

—————————

Doc: I miss Ren..

Doc, realizing: Oh god..

Doc: Good job universe, you win.

Ren: Listen to me.

Doc: You talk too much.

Ren: Who are you, every person I've ever met?

—————————

Grian: Some people play hard to get, but I play hard to want.

—————————

Impulse: Zed come pick up all your stuff.

Zed: It may not be mine, define 'stuff.'

Impulse: Oh never mind the moldy pizza just crawled away.

Impulse:

Impulse, screaming: Zed the pizza just wALKED AWAY-

—————————

Xisuma: Where's Ren?

Iskall: Probably disappointing god..

—————————

Zed: Me, an intellectual-

Tango: You, an intellectual?

—————————

Xisuma: A cup of tea heals your soul. This is true science.

Joe: Actually tea mimics human warmth which is said to have calming properties. So yes, tea can help you.

Xisuma: I'm gonna cry, I'm so lonely all I have is a cup of leaf water.

—————————

Mumbo: Grian, NO!

Grian: What?

Mumbo: Sorry, force of habit.

Mumbo: Tango, NO!

—————————

Scar: What scares you the most?

Joe: The unstoppable marching of time that slowly guides us to an unavoidable death.

Cleo: Very nice Joe, very nice.

—————————

Grian: What up? I'm back.

Scar: I literally saw you dying. You died. You were dead.

Grian: Death is a social construct.

—————————

Xisuma, at a meeting: So Grian actually had this really good idea where we-

Grian: I did?

Hermits: He did?

Doc: *Shoots Xisuma to show it's Ex*

Doc: The real Xisuma would never break the golden rule and compliment Grian.

Grian: That's a rule??

Doc: Shut up, shortie.

—————————

Zed: I wish you would just admit when you've made a mistake.

Tango, clamly stirring his coffee: Screw you, I prefer it with salt.

—————————

Mumbo: Is that blood?

Grian, who fell through a window and down the stairs: No..?

Mumbo: That is not a question you answer with another question.

—————————

Joe, being poetic: Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Cleo: I am that darkness.

—————————

Doc: My moral alignment is chaotic awful.

Scar:

Scar: What does that mean?

Cub: He has a strict moral code but nobody can figure out what the heck it's supposed to be.

—————————

Mumbo: *Does one pushup* I can kill god.

—————————

Bdubs: Sorry I was late, I was doing things.

Keralis, walking in, disheveled: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS!

—————————

Xisuma: Doc has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced them.

Python: That can't be true!

Xisuma: Watch this.

Xisuma: Hey Doc, race you to the bottom of the stairs!

Doc: *Jumps out the window*

—————————

Doc: How many popsicles have you eaten today?

Ren, lying in a bed full of popsicle wrappers: Now is not the time to discuss my personal flaws as a human being.

—————————

Grian: You sly stick of butter!

Mumbo: Grian it's three am..

—————————

Scar: *Eating a cinnamon roll*

Cub, thoughtfully: Canniblism.

Scar: *Confused chewing noises*

—————————

Keralis: Good responses for being stabbed by a knife?

Wels: Not again.

Xisuma: Grian get out of my house.

Grian, from around the corner: That was once!

—————————

Mumbo: Hey help me with this crossword puzzle, I need a five-letter word for disappointment.

Iskall: Grian.

Mumbo:

Mumbo: It fits..

—————————

Zed: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Impulse: Wasn't Tango with you?

Tango: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

—————————

Xisuma: Physically, I'm here. But emotionally, I'm face-down and unconscious at a table at Denny's.

—————————

Cleo: Hail satan!

Wels: Rain satan.

Doc: Snow satan.

Tango: Tomorrow, there is a 100% chance of precipitation.

Zed: It'll be foggy, with lots of condensation.

Xisuma: Guys Grian doesn't get back till the day after tomorrow.

Grian:  Actually-

—————————