Ren: So I'm in a bar right? And I go to the server and order some pretzels right?
Doc: Ren, it was a ba-
Ren: BUT he looks at me and goes 'Sorry sir, we don't serve snacks.'
Doc: Ren. You were in a bar.
Ren: Yeah, I know. But I was called a snack. I told you I looked good.

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Grian: Mumbo! Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
Mumbo: Let me guess, it was two tired?
Grian:

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Wels: Ten ladies were trying to fit under an umbrella. None of them got wet. How'd they do it?
Biffa: Two of them killed the other eight and put them in body bags?
Wels:
Wels: It wasn't raining....

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<Mumbo> Guys I don't think I'll be able to finish the red stone.
<Grian> Just do it 🎷
<Iskall> Did you just use a saxophone as the Nike icon

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<Biffa> Please send me some words of encouragement so I don't kill all these people at my work.
<Wels> There is no Netflix in prison.

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Ren: Have you ever felt a feeling of deep regret?
Doc: Yes, we are friends.

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<BdoubleO> Your such a jerk!
<Doc> You're*
<BdoubleO> OMG your so annoying!
<Doc> You're*
<BdoubleO> Stop doing that! Your making me mad!
<Doc> You're*
<BdoubleO> Fine! I'm going to slap you're face!
<Doc> Your*

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Grian: I'm not short, your extra tall!
Mumbo: And I'm not good at redstone, your just extra bad.

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Ren: I ate three vitamins as a kid! I'm a man!

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Etho: My hair looks like snow.
Etho: I AM A SNOWMAN!

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Wels: Night Biffa!
Biffa: I'm an assassin...
Wels: I- I meant night.. as in goodnight.
Biffa: Oh.
Biffa, walking away: Knight Wels!

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Zed: Impulse I need to use your bathroom! Right now!
Impulse: Why..?
Zed, running down tha hall: BECAUSE YOURS HAS A PLUNGGGEEERRRRR!

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Biffa, in the middle of a heist: *Freely touching everything with bare hands*
Jess: Dude...! Fingerprints!
Biffa: Oh it's ok, I burnt off my fingerprints when I was six.

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Bdubs, aggravated: I'm not sure what I'm breaking first. The baby monitor or the baby.

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Cleo: People are like some computers!
Cleo: It may take work, but you can bend some backwards! And sometimes they'll break!

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Xisuma: Why did you kill the person.
Biffa: I broke them.
Xisuma: Why did you break them?
Biffa: I took them out.
Xisuma: Why did you take them out?
Biffa: I ridded this world of a problem.
Xisuma: Next time just say you killed Grian and I would've approved.

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Doc: I'm going to take out Bdubs!
Ren: Ohhh! On a daatttteee?
Doc: No. To feed the sharks.

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False: Cool shirt! I like the shade of red!
Ex: It was originally white.

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Stress: *Laughing manically*
Stress: *Poisons the cookies*
Stress: I shall kill everyone with the poison of undying love!

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