Impulse: Anyone want chips?
Zed: I-... I just ate the guacamole as it was...?

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Grian: I'm ignoring you
Mumbo:
Grian: I said I'm ignoring you!
Mumbo:
Grian: stOP IGNORING ME I'M IGNORING YOU-

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Scar: Cub, we've known eachother for a long time. You respect me right?
Cub: Yeah?
Scar: Well get ready to stop-

Grian: Mumbo, we've known eachother for a long time. You respect me right?
Mumbo, laughing: HECK NO!

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Ex: Pros and Cons of dating me.
Ex: Pros, you'd be the cute one
Ex: Cons, oh my GOSH where do I begin!?

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Stress: I shot someone.
Iskall: With love and affection?
Biffa, walking over proudly: No, a person.
Stress: They didn't like my cookies.

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Joe: So how's life?
Xisuma: I mean....
Joe: Yeah..
Xisuma: Yeah...
Both Joe and Xisuma: *Nervously glancing at the hermits and slowly backing away*

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Grian: If molecules get cold when they slow down, and get hot when they speed up..
Mumbo, genuinely confused: I'm surprised you knew that..

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Impulse: How do you even live like this?!
Zed: I guess I just don't die?

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Impulse: Zed.
Zed: Impulse.
Tango: Man in the corner.

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Grian: Milk-shake. Fruit-punch. Butter-fly.
Mumbo:
Grian: You'd understand if you possessed the capability of a child.

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Iskall: Look at my new bui-
Doc: It looks like diorite.
Iskall: *Deletes server*

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Grian: Poultry-Man.
Poultry-Man: Arianna-Griande.
Arianna-Griande: Sherlock Grian.
Sherlock Grian: Guinea-Pig Grian
Guinea-Pig Grian: Villager Grian.
Villager Grian: Grianch.
Grianch: Tall Grian.
Nobody:

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Joe: You are what you eat.
Biffa: I eat souls of innocent.
Wels: You have have no soul and kill hundreds of people.
Biffa: And you look like a kitten.

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Xisuma: For some reason I can't die.
Xisuma: How, you may ask.
Xisuma: I have no idea, these people just won't let me die.

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Grian: To answer the question, it takes zero ladders for me to change a light bulb.
Iskall: Yeah, since you built a hobbit house, that is.

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Stress: Life is rainbows and cupcakes!
Cleo: Actually-
False: Nono, let her believe. She's still an innocent child.

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Doc: See my hydro-flasksksksksksks?
Ren: Sksksksksksksksksksksks!
Doc, whapping Ren on the side of the head with the bottle: Screw the turtles, I use this as a weapon.

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Mumbo: Ha! Can't kill me! I'm in the living room!
Grian: *Walks in*
Mumbo, dropping down: This is now the DEAD room!

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Iskall: *On a date with Iskallium*
Mumbo: *On a date with honey-block*

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Zed, on Tangos' shoulders, throwing confetti: WHOOOOO
Tango: *Stops*
Them Both: *Falls down stairs*
Impulse: As a responsible person I take no credit or ownership of you two.

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Stress: What do you want from me?!
False, eating pizza sideways:
Stress: Please just stop it!

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Grian: Hey you guys ever realize that the brain named itself?
Mumbo: Grian it's to early for this-

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Zed: What if your belly button screams when you put a shirt over it because it's scared of the dark?

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Biffa: It's 2020! Why can't I delete friends in real life!?
Biffa: So it turns out what I was thinking of was murder.

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Grian: Y'know, we don't even know what dinosaurs sounded like! I mean, they could've been speaking fluent German for all we know!
Mumbo: Grian please-
Grian: GUTEN MORGAN HERR PTERODACTYL

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Doc: An apple a day keeps people away if you throw it hard enough.
Grian: I don't need an apple, all I need is my presence.

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Ren: Hey Doc!
Doc, poking the air: C'mon c'mon..! Hang up!!!
Ren: Doc this is real lif-
<RenTheDog fell out of the world>

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Grian: Some people say I'm brave.
Mumbo: Grian nobody has said tha-
Grian, gagging Mumbo: But really I just have a reckless amount of stupidity
Mumbo, muffled: Everyone has said that!!

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Server: How would you like your coffee?
Biffa: As dark as my soul.
Server: Sorry sir, we don't serve coffee that dark.

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Etho: It's a normal thing for people to be scared of the dark even though we don't see anything.
Etho: But, what if we don't see the monsters because we're used to seeing them everyday already?
Doc: Yes, I do see Ren everyday.

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Grian: It's a natural instinct for people get scared of the dark despite never actually seeing anything.
Grian: But the real mystery is,
Grian: Why is it an instinct to be scared of the dark?

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Tango: Impulse what's rabies?
Impulse: It's a sickness animals can catch.
Tango:
Tango: I think Zed has rabies-

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Cleo: You know, it would be nice for people to stop seeing me as the dark and morbid person.
Joe: Alright, then say something happy.
Cleo:
Cleo: Well death! It ends all pain! Painless!
Joe:
Joe: Setting the bar low I see, but you do have a point...

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Cub: *Holds up baby sheep*
Scar: What a cute cat!

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Xisuma: I'm hearing colors.

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Stress: *Crying*
Iskall: Hey ok, Stress what's wrong?
Stress, wiping away tears: Raisins are dehydrated grapes...
Stress: Why are we dehydrating them..?! We should keep them alive.. I mean whAT IF THEY HAVE A FAMILY?! WHY ARE WE DOING THIS TO THE POOR RAISINS???!!!

Scar: *Crying also*
Cub: What's wrong?
Scar: People declaw cats...
Scar, passive aggressively wiping tears: I MEAN HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOMEONE RIPPED OUT YOUR FINGERNAILS?!

Stress and Scar: *Screaming*
Cub and Iskall *Backing away*

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Etho: *Bursts into the room, slamming the door and clearly very panicked*
Doc: Uhmm.... Where's Beef....?
Etho: NOBODY DIED
Doc: What type of answer is that...?!
Bdubs, rushing out the door: HOPEFULLY AN ACCURATE ONE!

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Grian: I hate you with every inch of my body.
Mumbo: That isn't a lot of inches.
Grian:

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Cub: Wanna see a magic trick?
Cub: *Sinks front teeth into ice cream*
Iskall: Coward.
Iskall: *Purposely stubs toe on the table besides them*
Grian, cooking from the kitchen in the room over: Fools!
Grian: *Brings out his pot to show him cooking pizza and Gatorade*
Scar, crying: WHY ARE YOU GUYS IN MY HOUSE?!

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Zed, jumping onto the table: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!
Impulse: *Sits in a chair*
Tango: *Face-plants onto the ground, accepting his fate*

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Joe: Sticks and stones may break these bones but words wind ever hurt me.
Cleo: *Throws dictionary*

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<MumboJumbo> Sorry guys, I cant make it to the meeting. I have ligma.
<Grian> What's ligma?
<Iskall85> GRIAN NO-

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Cleo: Y'know, synonyms are weird. Like, you can say 'Have a nice day' to be nice.
Cleo: But you cant say 'Enjoy the next twenty-four hours' without sounding threatening.
Grian: Yeah! Like if I say 'Come over to my cottage in the forest' it sounds pleasant.
Grian: But if I say 'Come over to my house in the woods' it sounds like a murder attempt.
Tango: My favorite is "Butt dial" versus "Booty call."
Joe: Why are you guys in my house.

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Grian: *Terribly explaining something*
Mumbo: Grian that's not how it works.
Grian: Tomato potato Mumbo. Tomato potato.

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Grian: I have a date!
Mumbo: Oh yeah? With who?
Grian: The dump truck! It takes me out every Monday!

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Zedaph: *Screaming at some random man*
Tango: *Screaming along*
Impulse, dragging them away: Stop harassing innocent people!

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