Written by:
Lucy_The_Llamacorn
AjexxanAlterline
hapyhappiness
DracoDragonGirl
thebirdfantasy

Bdubs sat flicking through a cookbook given to him by Iskall. On the front of the book there was a slime block, above which was a title that read 'Iskall's Iskallium Cookbook v8.5'. It appeared that every single recipe involved the slimy block, which confused, but intrigued Bdubs. While flicking through, he found a recipe titled 'hellishly spicy iskallium soup'. There appeared to be a warning in bold text under it, but Bdubs rolled his eyes wondering what could possibly be so dangerous, and started pulling ingredients out. As Bdubs pull out more ingredients, he was judging Iskall more and more. I mean, who the hell put fresh blood into a soup?. Apparently Iskall and now Bdubs. What has life become? All for this sPiCy soup as well. It better be worth it.

Bdubs stared at the 'freshly murdered chicken' on the page for a long while, almost as if the book was his greatest enemy. He slammed his head onto the table.

Once Bdubs got all the ingredients he couldn't help but groaned. That was a real journey. He started following the recipe, boiling the blood and cutting up the chicken. It was a strange recipe, but it definitely had to be worth it. Bdubs added in the final ingredient (half a cup of lava.) and began stirring it over the stove. For 13 minutes, like the recipe said, he stirred it for a minute for two minute intervals, singing along to Elybeatmaker remixes. "It should be done now!" he announced to no one, taking a whiff of the smell. "Man, that smells weird!" He left it to cool for a few minutes, then came back with a bowl to try it in and a large spoon thing to pour it.

"Ay, it's not nice to pour a newly summoned demon into a soup bowl; are you a cannibal or something!"

Bdubs immediately yelped and dropped everything he was holding, which happened to make a large lumpy mess all over the floor. Back to the subject, Bdubs looked back up to his mixing bowl to find a large creature wearing red pulling themselves out of the bowl. The monster, struggling to get out, turned to Bdubs and threw his hand over to him.

"If you could help me here, that would be great!" He said in anger since the scared Bdubs was currently doing nothing.

After the soup-man requested Budubs help, snapping him out of his scared trace, Bdubs grabbed his hand and pulled him out. After he was standing up on the ground in front of him, Bdubs couldn't help but notice not only the fact that he had horns, wings and a tail, but he was also taller than him. Blasphemy!

The horned soupman dusted themselves off and wiped some of the soup off, clearly annoyed. Bdubs glanced to the side as he tried to think on what to say. Before he thought 'Fuck it' and just ask his completely normal question."Are you a demon?"

"Um, maybe?" the soupdemon replied sheepishly.

Bdubs muttered about being hungry under his breath and asked the soupguy's name.

"Oh, it's Ognat," the demon replied, "What's yours?"

Bdubs narrowed his eyes, not completely convinced the demonsoup existed. "Bdubs... But really, why are you here?"

"I didn't want to be here! I think i was summoned- wait- was it you who summoned me?"

Bdubs shrugged. "I don't know! If making hellishly spicy iskallium soup. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SOUP!" He grabbed Iskalls cookbook and started flipping through the pages.

The sPiCy soup-demon-man turned to stare at Bdubs dumbfounded. He glanced around, trying to process the information before a thought hit him.

He let out a loud groan and just answered annoyed."Is it Iskall's cook book?"

"Ugh, last time Iskall did this, I was summoned in a weird slimy wedding muffin and had sprinkles in my hair for weeks..." the soupdemon muttered.

"What did it look like..?" Bdubs asked, curious.

The spicy demon soup furrowed his eyebrows and described it. "Well, for a start, it was all green and goopy. Like, all of it- the wrappe, the sprinkles, the actual muffin. Not only that, but it was also half burnt. Like, how do you manage to do that?! Ick."

"Oh..." Bdubs responded, not knowing what to say and generally questioning his life choices.

"If it was totally burnt, I'd understand, but only part of it was! I'll show you," the soupdemon picked up a convenient loaf of bread and burnt part of it with a fire he conjured up. However, an ember flew onto a pan.

"Oh, no, that's my favorite wooden pan!"

The demon and the Hermit jumped at the voice of Iskall who walked in with a green apron and a shower cap. What was he doing wearing that stuff? Only jezuz on a breadstick knows. (see what i did there?)Iskall threw his hands onto his hips and yelled at the two again, but his voice was more... Well... It was like Grian pretending to be that witch back in the civil war, but scarier."What the hell happened to MY KITCHEN?"

Bdubs stood in shock for a moment, looking the Iskall grandma up and down, before finally retorting."Your kitchen?! This is my kitchen in my house!" Bdubs yelled obnoxiously.

"Any kitchen with Iskall's Iskallium Cookbook v8.5 (TM) in it it belongs to me. It says so on the first page." Iskall claimed, taking the book out of Bdubs' hands and flicking to the first page of the book. Giving it back, he pointed to a discreet line hidden at the bottom of the page, which did in fact state what Iskall claimed.

"Ok, Iskall, this is ridiculous!" The soup-demon who referred to himself as Ognat stated. "This is the second time in the last week you've summoned me!"

"Oh, it's alright Tango! I just need you to run a few more errands for me. I figured that, since you already have my soul, I could use someone else to summon you instead!" Iskall said triumphantly.

"First of all, don't call me Tango, my name is Ognat, secondly, no! You know it's illegal for me to take a soul of a person who is ignorant." Ognat said

Bdubs glanced between the two, unsure on how to feel. On one hand, he summoned a demon. On the other hand, he still has soul privilege. On the hand he stole from Ex who stole from a corpse, Iskall owns his kitchen which might as well be parts of his soul. On the other hand Ex stole that he stole, Iskall broke into his house.

"Bdubs, I need you to come here for a sec, darlin-" Iskall was immediately interrupted with a loud-

"NO!" Bdubs ran to the other side of the kitchen which was opposite the soup demon and the crazy grandma, he also was able to run through the second door that was behind him to escape into the backyard.

He didn't know what Iskall wanted, but he knew it probably wasn't good. He started climbing a tree in his backyard to get away. He heard some distant mutters from inside before Ognat and Iskall came outside to find Bdubs. After a bit of searching, Ognat found him.

"Come down from there!" Iskall shouted from the ground, seeing Bdubs with a terrified look on his face.

"I-" Bdubs started, trying to find somewhere to place his feet. "I'm stuck!" He bellowed, fear in his voice.

Ognat, (why would anyone name their children that), rolled his eyes and kicked the tree. The simple kick would've just shaken the tree a bit, but he's a demon so. Something happened. And that something resulted in Bdubs landing face first onto the ground. No, no one caught him

Ognat did a demonic laughter as he looked down at his feet, seeing the scared to bits Bdubs made him cheerful.

"Now, now sonny, listen to your grandma!" Iskall said, bumping him on the head with a walking stick he had in hand.

"Ok, who's soul am I getting?" Ognat said, turning back to Iskall. "I can't take his, and you gave yours to me already. So either deliver something or I'm leaving." Iskall then mumbled something about souls under his breath.

"What?" Ognat asked, not hearing what he said.

"I mAy have purchased another soul..." he said his voice cracking.
"Perfect! Give it to me." Ognat replied, holding a now flaming hand out
towards Iskall.

"But I don't wanna!" Iskall whined.

Angered, Ognat let both of his hands burst to flames, but grandma Iskall was still not concerned.

"Tango! Stop! It's my soul!" Yelled the furious grandma.

"And it'll be mine by force unless you dismiss me!" Ognat yelled. "And don't call me Tango!"

There was a quiet yelp of fear from Bdubs who was still on the ground under the tree, catching the attention of the two again. "Why does everyone have to fight..." He said, hiding himself behind the tree. Ognat couldn't help but feel pity for the mortal.

"I'll cut you a deal." Ognat said, turning back to Iskall. "Destroy every copy of all your cookbooks, never make another one again, and then I'll run some errands for you without taking your soul."

Iskall, in disbelief, asked; "And what if I say 'no'?"

Ognat immediately let the flames in his hand grow larger, larger than it was already, but Iskall didnt move a muscle.

"You're fires don't scare me." The grandma said in boredom.

But THEN... The demon pointed his hands towards Bdubs house. Which scared the grandma to bits.

"DON'T YOU DARE SET FIRE TO MY HOUSE!" Iskall the grandma cried.

"IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE!" Bdubs yelled back.

"IT IS NOW!" GrAnDmA Iskall yelled back.

Ognat groaned out loud as the two began to fight, he clenched his fists tightly as anger boiled up inside him. He covered his ears as their fighting began louder and louder.Then he snapped.He covered his ears and let out a scream, his eyes now glowing a bright blood red. He stomped his leg down causing a circle of fire around the three. The two stopped their fighting immediately and turned towards the demon.A silence washed over the three with the only sound being the flames and Ognat huffing. "Is everything okay over there?" The three turned their head to find Bdubs's neighbor looking over the fences at them.

"PlEaSe HeLp Me-" Bdubs pleaded to Grian his friendly neighbourhood neighbour.The tree that Tango had surrounded by flames suddenly exploded with fire, Bdubs quickly moving out of the way before he was burnt to a crisp.

"Oh cool! A demon! I was just about to summon one." Grian said, hopping the fence.

"Take his soul, not my precious house! He's not ignorant!!!" Iskall yelled, still concerned about 'his' house.

Hearing grandma Iskall's plead to Ognat, Grian wheezed. "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"

Iskall asked in disappointment. "I don't know either- WAIT- OHHHHH!" Tango said, suddenly joining Grian with wheezing. All the wheezing was making Bdubs uncomfortable so he joined the two and wheezed just as loud. Now there were three wheezing against one.

A portal where the tree had burst into flames suddenly appeared, causing said tree to collapse into the floor where the gateway to presumably hell appeared. Another demon then appeared, this one looking similar to Ognat. All the wheezing then stopped, except for Bdubs who continued wheezing for a minute before realising everyone else had stopped."I'm Tango." The new demon said. "This is my brother Ognat." Tango explained. A look of realisation suddenly washed over Iskall's face."oH I GAVE YOU MY SOUL A FEW MONTHS BACK!" Iskall yelled, looking between the two demons. "THATS WHY YOU DON'T LIKE BEING CALLED TANGO!""Wait how many souls have you bought..?" Bdubs asked Iskall, narrowing his eyes."Umm- multiple..." Iskall sheepishly muttered.

"What the shit?" Human Tango asked, staring at Demon Tango. Demon Tango widened his eyes and mumbled something about 'traveling to the wrong timeline'. He grabbed onto Ognat's arms, yeet him into the portal and barrel rolled into it. The portal exploded and the only remains were a diorite block.

Both Tango and Tango stared at the diorite. Nothing scared Tango and Ognat more that this diorite.But nobody was more scared of this one block of diorite than Iskall was. Bdubs took this moment to run back in the house because he still thinks this is a dream."WH- THE- THE PORTAL?!""IT'S D-DIORITE!!""WHA-?Little did they know that Grian stood behind Tango, Tango, Ognat and Grandma Iskall. He now had large demon horns and was holding two large daggers...

Grian took the daggers and stabbed everyone who was outside. He decided to leave everyone outside on the ground and not kill Bdubs. Later Bdubs was arrested for suspected murder after Grian called the police on him after hearing 'horrible shrieks from next door'.

The end.

word count: 2163

Woah. It's been awhile hasn't it.