Breathe




Ayyo! my first songfic! I know I just wrote a chapter about X in a chapter with a very similar title, and I don't even watch him that much, but I think he's a really fun character to write, and I thought to song Breathe from In The Heights fit him really well! I will say  I removed bits and pieces of the song, mainly the lines in Spanish, just because it didn't fit as well with them.


"This is my street"

     Xisuma turned to the jukebox that was sitting beside him. He knew this song from a musical that he couldn't quite remember the name of.

"I smile at the faces
I've known all my life,
They regard me with pride."


     The admin often found himself listening to the radio when he was up late. It kept his mind either on the code or the song. He usually ended up completely ignoring the music to a point where he wouldn't realize it was still playing until a song he knew brought him back to it.

"And everyone's sweet,

They say, "You're going places!"

     He sighed and tried to get back to the code, but just as he was about to start editing a whole new strand of missed code appeared.

"So how can I say
That while I was away,
I had so much to hide? Hey guys, it's me!
The biggest disappointment
You know—"


     Xisuma let out a long groan. It was going to be a long night. again.

      As he listened to the song in the distant background, he couldn't stop himself from mumbling a responding, "I know, disappointing. just a big disappointment"

"The kid couldn't hack it,
She's back, and
She's walking real slow.
Welcome home,"


"Just breathe,"

     X noticed that as the song had been playing, he had unironically been holding his breath. He let go of it and started to breathe normally again. if he held it for too long he would probably pass out and start a whole new problem.

"As the radio plays
Old forgotten boleros,
I think of the days
When the city was mine."


     He decided he had had enough coding for the night, with Stress and Iskall already worried about him, he decided he would give himself a break. He looked over at his clock, 3:27 am, oh, 'it's later than I thought it was'.

     'I would have to get up in two and a half hours anyway, so I might as well stay up and deal with the consequences as they come' The admin thought, leaning back on his chair and putting his feet up on the table while twirling his pen in his hands. As he got lost in thought again with the song playing in the background, he started remembering the old days of Hermitcraft-

"I remember the praise, "

     Back then no-one was quite as well known as they are now. We were all much smaller, but since the beginning of the season, everything had gotten bigger for better or worse. Mumbo was getting bigger, and Grian attracted a lot of attention to both the server and the people on the server.

"The neighborhood waved,
And said, "Nina, be brave,
And you're gonna be fine!"
And maybe it's me,
But it all seems like
Lifetimes ago,
So what do I say
To these faces
That I used to know?
"Hey, I'm home?""

     It did seem like lifetimes ago that the season started. He was still having trouble thinking the season had been going on for well over a year. But when they started the season, everyone was different.

      If you compared them from where we left on in season five to where we are now it would probably seem strange. They had all grown a lot in the past year.

"not worried about me."

     Yet there was still much they didn't know about each other. Still secrets swirling around in the mist. Still insecurities.

"They are all counting on me to succeed."

     The admin was always worried he would make a big mess up again like he did with his brother. or something would go terribly wrong with the server and everyone would hate him, which is why he was constantly pulling all-nighters, to make sure nothing like that would happen.

     What would have happened if he had stayed in the end? What would have become of Hermitcraft? Until his brother appeared, X had thought that he was the only person who was able to make it out of the end.

"I am the one who made it out.
The one who always
Made the grade.
But maybe I should
Have just stayed home."

     What if his family was still alive? and he was here spending all of his time alone of a damp box in the middle of the ocean, trying to solve endless puzzles with no clues on how.

"When I was a child
I stayed wide awake,
Climbed to the highest place
On every fire escape—
Restless to climb."

     When he was a kid he was usually the smartest kid around, which is not the best if everyone you are large built and muscular, but in the end, he was the one who came out on top.

"I got every scholarship,
Saved every dollar,
The first to go to college,
How do I tell them why
I'm coming back home
With my eyes on
The horizon,
Just me and the GWB,
Asking, gee Nina,
What'll you be?"

     Xisuma and his brother were the only people to make it out. All of the others didn't make it.  He saw it coming before any of them did, but the only person who listened was his brother, so as the world fell around him with everyone they had ever known on it, they made it out.

"Straighten the spine.
Smile for the neighbors.
Everything's fine.
Everything's cool.
The standard reply,
"Lots of tests,
Lots of papers."
Smile, wave goodbye,
And pray to the sky,
Oh God,
And what will my parent say?
Can I go in there and say,
"I know that I'm
Letting you down, ""

     The admin looked down at his clock, 3:31. It had only been four minutes. Four minutes and he was this close to breaking down again. How could everything go so wrong in less than five minutes? Xisuma shrugged, he had to let the past go. With one deep breath in and one deep breath out, Xisuma was ready to start.

"Nina, Just breathe"


     Yeet I'm sorry if this is poorly done, I'm writing this in afterschool on my pc and trying to get it done before my mother picks me up lol. anyways, please tell me what you think, and hopefully, my inspiration to write will come back (please) as always, hope you enjoyed!

     -Signing out <3


     ~word count; 1095

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