(June 18, 2021)

*rises from the unknown* wOah I'm still alive!

Category: fluff (wot? fluff? in this book?), humor, maybe a little crack, short story
Warnings: swear word
Word Count: 716

I was laughing too much while writing this, I hope you enjoy it too

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"What the hell did you do to your armor?"

Xisuma turned to the disgusted voice with a raised eyebrow, but quickly burst out in uncontrollable laughter once he saw the absolute horror etched on Evil X's face. His brother's expression seemed set in stone, even at the overreaction—a disgruntled look of caught-off-guard and disgusted-at-the-mere-presence-of-that-color-within-his-proximity.

"What possessed you last night? I'm almost certain it was green before I slept!" Evil X crossed his arms at Xisuma's shaking form, apparently offended by the short amount of time it took him to go from a standing position to practically crying on the floor. "That was a serious question! Stop laughing, it's not funny!"

"I- I disagr-" The admin couldn't even talk coherently between his wheezes, and he put his hand to his chest to ease the wheezing pains. "Oh my gods I can't breathe- your facial expression- it's golden-"

"Your lungs are gonna self-destruct before I get an answer," Evil X said, then pushed his lips into an exaggerated pout when his brother didn't reply. (Though, he couldn't help the smile that pulled  up the corners of his lips ever so slightly.) "'Suma!"

Xisuma clutched his stomach and readjusted the offset air filter around his mouth three times before a success. "Give me- give me a moment- oh my goodness I wish I had a camera-"

He didn't see Evil X step behind him, but he sure felt the hard slap on his back that jolted his lungs back into functionality. Usually Xisuma would thank him for that, but considering it knocked him flat to the floor instead keeping him at his kneeling position, he held off on the politeness.

It didn't stop the breathy chuckles, though. Even with Evil X's scowl directed straight at him, he couldn't stop the remaining laughter, and they intensified slightly when Evil X's horrified expression flashed in his mind again. That image was not going to disappear soon, not if Xisuma had something so say about it.

He swatted Evil X's hand away and pulled himself up using the nearby worktable, giving him a half-stern glare with full knowledge that his brother would drop him half way up. Unsecured armor parts on the surface rocked back and forth, which drew Evil X's attention again. The expression he made would have been a visual representation of a gag, and he subtly scooted away with crossed arms. Goodness, he was acting like a bratty seven year old.

"Now are ya gonna tell me, you rotted scumbag?" Point proven.

"So impatient, geez."

Evil X rolled his eyes. "Listen, I just wanna know who hacked your code to choose pink, of all colors. Don't the animals, like, come in different colors or are they really that boring?"

"No no, they're colorful, I just chose the most common one." The admin absentmindedly poked a few pieces. "I've got to uphold my tradition, Evil X. Axolotls are going to be one of the new animals for this Hermitcraft season." Xisuma picked up his helmet and held it out to show him. "Look at it! They're so cute!"

"It's a decapitated axolotl with it's head the size of yours. A decapitated face is not cute, and neither is yours on any day," Evil X deadpanned, ignoring Xisuma's indignant huff. "And that is the most unfortunate color choice I have ever seen in my life. I think I got whiplash walking down the stairs. Was red- best color, of course- not an option?"

"C'mon now, you can drop your horrible evil façade, we're alone."

"It's not a façade, it's real. Obviously."

Xisuma scoffed, "Sure, man." He pulled up a holographic search screen and poked the keyboard. "And you asked if there was another color?"

Throwing the floaty screen towards his brother who took more than a few moments necessary to examine a brown axolotl, leaned against the table, watching for Evil X's reaction. Maybe he'll realize that pink wasn't such a bad choice after all.

Gaze alternating between X fiddling with armor parts and the screen, Evil X raised an eyebrow (although the humor behind the confusion was very poorly hidden) and pushed the screen back to the admin.

"Are you sure that wasn't a piece of-"

Xisuma chucked an armor part and hit Evil X square in the forehead.

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Ngl the brown axolotl kind of looks like a piece of turd

Thank you for reading, have a great day! <3