(June 20, 2020)

I found this on Tumblr, I can not draw this good. @/reipinto drew this. I just had to write something with it.

At this point I might as well cruise through my prompts and shove Hels and EX into them.

I mean we all need more Hels stuff right?

Word Count: 1218 words
Category: probably on the edge of a humor fic and a crack fic idk
Warnings: none

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"Hey Wels!" Scar waved down as he landed in Wels' yard. Wels looked over his shoulder, smiling when he and Scar made eye contact.

"Oh, hey Scar! Glad to see you're back!"

"I heard there was another evil clone roaming Hermitcraft..." Scar raised an eyebrow at the knight who only smiled in response. "What do you think he's doing? Getting thrown into lava by another clone?"

"Ha, no, they're probably scheming to erase reality or something really bizarre," Wels chuckled, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Scar hummed his agreement, the two falling into another peaceful conversation.

Down in the depths of the firey hell were three apparently evil counterparts.

One was laying on his back, arms folded behind his head as he sat near a river of lava. His tan boots were dangerously close to the running lava, his helmet not too far away. Eyes contently closed, his breathing was even, almost as if he were sleeping.

Another was sitting in a velvet-lined chair, a white and grey cat in his lap. He was sitting back, his ankle crossed over his other knee as he gently stroked the cat.

The last person had draped himself over a netherrack block, bored out of his mind. Though his armor was painfully digging into his skin, he paid no mind to it.

After a few silent minutes of doing absolutely nothing, the latter person for up and sat next to the first one.

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Hels poked the sleeping EX in the shoulder. No reaction.

So, like any other evil clone of Wels, Hels poked the sleeping beast again.

"Stop. It. I'm trying to rest," EX finally grumbled, sleepily swatting Hels away. The knight smirked, continuing to poke him. EX pried his eyes open, glaring daggers into Hels. "Keep your germy hands away from me, you prat." Hels pulled away and gasped, releasing an offended gasp as he dramatically put a hand to his chest.

"How dare you assume my hands are germy, I wash them more than you!" Hels said as he kept poking EX in the shoulder.

"I'm going to throw you into the lava if you don't stop," EX threatened, his voice a low growl as he sat upright. "Then you'll suffer through embarrassment when the death message shows up in chat."

"Oh. Okay." Instead of poking the server admin's brother, Hels started to pat EX's white hair. In response, EX raised his hand, and slapped Hels across the face as hard as he could. He grinned in satisfaction as Hels' head snapped to the side, the slap almost echoing though this part of the nether.

Hels only smirked as if it's happened multiple times before, and returned to bothering EX.

"What the heck," EX said. Hels kept patting him. EX's voice escalated to a shrill screech, "What the heck-" Over in the corner of the room, Badtimes winced. He put a hand to his forehead and propped his elbow on the arm of the chair, closing his eyes.

"Hels, stop it before we and that ghast many blocks away go deaf," he sighed, covering his ears as EX somehow screamed louder than before. Hels slapped a hand over the counterparts' mouth, but the shrieks were still loud enough to flinch at.

"Can ghasts even hear?" Hels asked, looking over his shoulder and searching for nearby- and possibly deaf- ghasts.

"... Not after EX's screeches, no," Badtimes answered, uncrossing his legs. EX looked ready to commit murder as Hels patted his hair again. Ready to release another screech, he took a deep breath in, and-

"EX, stop screaming bloody murder or your brother is gonna have to come over here and figure out why the heck you were screaming your lungs out," Hels said, completely ignoring the fact that he was the reason for the constant screams.

"Then stop bothering me." EX's voice was miraculously still in tact. "I've got the self-care skills of my brother- which are ones of a can of noodles- so I'm trying to rest for once."

Hels just had to pat EX one more time, the only reason being to spite him.

EX threw an upwards elbow at Hels, who in return held EX in a choke hold. Both struggled with each other, neither managing to get the upper hand as the fire around them flared up. Badtimes pressed his lips into a thin line, intently staring at a netherrack block as if it'd poof out of existence. He grasped the arms of the chair he sat in until his knuckles turned pale, wrinkling his noise at their shenanigans.

The two counterparts collapsed to the floor in a heap of limbs, struggling with each other and messily wrestling.  The cat in Badtimes' lap (which he named Gello), shifted positions and hissed at the two fighting counterparts. Badtimes pouted as Gello jumped out of his lap to get away from the movement.

Someone- not the three inhabitants of the nether- cleared their throat, watching the three with a glint of amusement in their eyes.

There stood Joe Hills, dressed in chain mail with an iron sword over his shoulder. At the three's childish behavior, he gave a close-lipped smile.

"You three are extremely lucky it was only me who just so happened to stumble across you and your shenanigans. Had it been another Hermit, they might have believed y'all were possessed." Joe paused, a slight frown crossing his face. "Then again, what proof do we have to prove we aren't possessed by some otherworldly being?" As he spoke, a loud curse word and a hiss of lava sounded, but the poet ignored it.

EX turned to Joe, his long white hair in his face and sticking up all over the place from the humidity of the nether. He had managed to throw Hels into the lava, leaving him to burn to a crisp while fighting him.

"Joe," EX said, almost glaring at the poet as the fire cackled around them. Joe met his gaze with an amused one of his own.

"Yes?" Joe asked, squating down to pet Gello as the cat rubbed against his leg. Badtimes sunk in his chair, his eyebrows lowering and arms crossing.

EX pointed to the direction of the nether hub, narrowing his eyes.

"Take your braincells and get out." He tried to say it with a low and menacing growl, but his voice broke at the end as he struggled to keep the chuckles in.

Joe left after returning Gello to Badtimes, narrowly avoiding Hels' wrath.

And yes, Hels was mocked for being thrown into the lava by both the counterparts and the Hermits.

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i dont personally ship any characters (and this fic isnt a shipping fic) but this is valid ship material y'know?

dang it now i wanna write a EXxHels fic. (*wheeze* badtimes is the third wheel-)