(August 29, 2020)

It's... it's totally not midnight I did not wait until midnight to post this so I could say I was back a week early...

Hi there, I'm back a week early because I got impatient.

Thank you for being patient with me. I just needed some time away from Wattpad... online in general.

Er- don't worry about the next few one-shots, I was either feeling angsty or fluffy-- no in between-- over my break. Especially with Ex and Hels. (Shush I live off Ex angst and/or fluff please send me more or I will pull a 'fine i'll do it myself' :3  [well tbh it'll probably still happen no matter what-] this is a request if you're lacking things to do-)

Anyways, I'm changing the format of my one-shots again, just a minor addition.

Summary: Ex suffers the consequences of being in the void for too long, Xisuma gets some sense slapped into him, and he gets Ex back. It works... but Ex isn't the same Ex he once knew.
Word Count: 3802
Category: Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: Small and rather poopy descriptions of torture (i don't really like typing that stuff so it's bad. skip the paragraph between the --- if you're sensitive). Feelings of worthlessness. Pacing? Lmao what's that?

I feel like this was an unconsciously written vent fic. I'm sorry, Ex.

This one shot could be read as a stand-alone or a continuation. CrystalCosmo, you (and others but mainly you) have been waiting for a part two of From Broken Promises, which was back in the middle of May. Here ya go, a part where someone slaps sense into X [but he actually slapped himself] (in Ex's PoV... you'll see it's kinda confusing).

Hopefully this will keep you occupied during one of those late nights (like it did with me whenever I wrote this... this took a long time to finish). Hope you're satisfied with this! (Blaugh I don't like the ending it's so rushed but I'm too tired to fix it.)

Enjoy! Thank you for choosing this one shot to read and have a great day! <3

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Every void was cold, no matter the dimension. It did not care for its inhabitants, nor did warmth exist. It was desolate of everything and nothing at the same time. Within normal conditions, nothing could survive inside it without dying a horrible and painful death. (The only exception was by banishing a player into the void.)

But that was normal for the semi-sentient abyss. Death was normal in the void. It often got bored by the lack of death, but it worked for entertainment.

A banishment, however, was not normal. The void was elated when Xisuma sent Ex to the void for the second time in his life. Not many players messed up bad enough to get banished, let alone twice.

With a concerning amount of glee, it played with its new-old victim and continued its rather violent torture methods as if he never left.

---
Though the void didn't have physical body parts, it was able to pull quite well. Evil X's screams would echo through the empty void, and it was a miracle he wasn't in two parts by the end of the little experiment. Squeezing was another skill it flaunted whenever it could. The Voidwalker has suffocated multiple times. Not once had he escaped the void despite dying as many times as he did. The worst method (and its favorite) were the blade-like gashes it could leave in Ex's delicate skin. It wasn't deep enough to be fatal, but it wasn't shallow in the slightest. Ex didn't know where his blood went after it seeped from the wound, but he didn't care. Multiple injuries were often inflicted at the same time, not allowing Ex enough mental capacity to even think about his general health.
---

But not all of the void's methods were physical. Being surrounded by nothing gave powerful feelings of loneliness. More than once did the thought of 'not even worthy enough to be gifted with the gift of something to look at' and similar degrading phrases crossed Evil X's mind. The recent confrontation with his brother only added to his depressing thoughts.

Evil X was not in a good place, both physically and mentally.

It could have been avoided if the void didn't do a single thing to Ex. It could have just let him sit in silence and ponder life choices.

But no, the void did what it did because it was cruel.

It regularly tested how far it could push Ex until he reached his breaking point. Ex begged for the pain to stop. Most pleas were pathetic gurgles of blood or whimpers of pain in broken phrases. But the void did not yield, and Ex learned to stay quiet. (He seemed to have noticed the increased amount of pain inflicted on him after each plea.)

Despite the lack of complaints, the void occasionally went a little too far. It had to give Ex many days to recover if it wanted the satisfaction of hearing the pain. More often than not, it was too impatient to wait...

And after almost completely breaking Ex to the point of no return, it finally left him alone.

The day the void left him alone was like diving into a cold pond in hundred-degree weather with a hundred percent humidity. The pain he braced himself for never came, and he cried out in relief (quickly covering his mouth because he remembered that noises caused punishment).

After sitting in peace and relief for what was probably a good twelve hours, Ex examined himself, finally able to assess himself for the first time since he entered the void. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he knew not to expect anything good.

He knew he was scared of making a single noise. The scars that riddled his once slightly pale body made most of his visible skin seem white or red with scar tissue. His hair was a bloodstained mess of tangled white strands (his helmet had broken after the first lash, leaving the filter broken. The broken piece of equipment had been clipped to the back of his belt). His thoughts kept him occupied with endless tears...

And the list goes on.

All of this just because Ex was just Evil Xisuma and because Xisuma had a bad day.

He was a fool to believe his brother or the server would accept him back (though a petty promise was involved). Even if X had a server-wide vote, he would have ended up back in the void. Not a single person on Hermitcraft would speak up in his favor.

Not a single person in Minecraft would stand by his side.

Evil X sighed and sulked at that revelation in silence.

After an undetermined amount of time, Ex's toes had started going numb from the increasing coldness of the void. His breath caught in his throat as he wiggled the digits, not feeling a single one rub against the other. The numbing cold crept up Ex's leg, slowly and tauntingly.

Before long, his entire body was numb. He couldn't register a single pinch on his arm, nor a hard slap to his face. The Voidwalker couldn't feel the cold tears roll down his face. He could feel the gut-wrenching sensation of hurt and betrayal that should have expired long ago, but nothing else.

Hopefully, it wasn't permanent.

The second sense to go was his hearing. One might think the abyss was silent, that the void compressed any type of sound because of its harsh living conditions. That was not the case. There was always an eerie hum that echoed through the dark and empty space. And if the sound wasn't natural, it was Ex talking to himself.

But one could keep himself entertained for so long. Having conversations with oneself was not the most exciting way to pass the time. He couldn't stand his voice anymore; it sounded just like Xisuma's. Singing was out of the question since Ex could laugh at himself for his poor singing skills. He couldn't hum, he didn't know many songs.

Sitting in glum silence seemed to work for the time being.

The ringing in his ears started just a few days (?) after he silently floated in the void. He couldn't sleep it off as it's impossible to sleep in the void. Popping his ears did nothing except making him lightheaded. Rubbing the inside of his ears seemed to make it worse.

And then, it faded away in the next day or so. Ex perked up at not hearing the constant ringing, but suddenly deflated when he realized he couldn't hear his voice anymore. He cleared his throat and felt the vibrations of it when he spoke, but not a single sound reached his ears.

His heart stuttered when he noticed the lack of the void's eerie hum.

Hopefully, it wasn't permanent.

The scariest sense that broke was his sight. Ex didn't even know he could see in the first place.

He would never be able to describe blindness to anyone. Maybe the closest way he could accurately describe it was not able to see the void fade from view.

Well, there was no view if they were blind.

With the heartbreaking realization of practically being a vegetable hitting Ex hard, he allowed his eyes to slip close. It would be a waste of energy to keep them open if he couldn't see in the first place.

Hopefully, it wasn't permanent.

Ex didn't even realize the void was sapping his energy until he knew no more.

|--☆--|

There was sand on his back. More accurately, underneath him. He was lying on something substantial and not floating God knows where in the cold abyss. To his dismay, he still couldn't hear or see (though his eyes were still closed, he knew he was still blind), but this was a huge step up from not being able to hear, see, and feel.

A hand squeezed his shoulder. It was gentle yet grounding, almost as if it were trying to assure him he was okay. Though Ex knew it was supposed to be a comforting gesture, he couldn't help but shift away from it. Thankfully, they didn't follow.

Whose hand was it anyway? A Hermit's hand? Xisuma would have had to unban him, and if Ex recalls correctly, his brother banned him after a promise- now broken- to keep anything and everything from harming him. He'd much prefer if he were somehow kidnapped and brought to another server. Anything Hermitcraft related would bring his mind back to Xisuma and resurface the painful memories.

Scratch that, this was for sure Hermitcraft. Much like houses and other everyday places, servers have a distinct smell.

The Voidwalker internally scowled. His brother is bound to be nearby. Maybe he'll ban him again. The admin wasn't afraid to do it twice before.

Like in the void, Ex didn't know how much time passed, but eventually, his hearing started to return. He wasn't sure if it would ever return to how clear it was in the past, but Ex would take muffled hearing over no hearing. At least he'd know if someone were yelling his name... if anyone cared to.

His sight was still non-existent when he felt the familiar sense of another Voidwalker approaching. Whether a Voidwalker had magic or not, each of their kind had a different feeling than the average player. Xisuma was a Voidwalker, and one with overwhelmingly strong magic (that he never used, what a waste). The unique Voidwalker sensation must have been increased by a tenfold because Ex's other senses were dulled or dysfunctional.

Evil X froze as Xisuma came closer, too close for comfort. He resisted the urge to squirm, locking his legs and arms in place to not move away. His brother's hand reached for his face, and he gently cupped Ex's cheek, his thumb brushing under his eye.

Scared to lash out but too insulted to stay silent, he hissed quietly and wrinkled his nose. How dare Xisuma treat him like glass after throwing him away like an unwanted piece of trash? And now he was talking to him like a hurt ten-year-old? His brother's muffled voice wasn't audible enough to hear words, but the sound of it almost got Ex crying like someone cut onions in his face, even with his sour mood. Who knew a voice could cause involuntary, stinging tears?

Someone touched his shoulder again. He couldn't suppress the harsh flinch. They paused for a moment, expressing a sound of concern, before carefully pulling him into a sitting position. Evil X tried moving on his own, but his limbs seemed too heavy to move. He could only curl his fingers into a tight, shaking fist.

Xisuma's hand moved to his tangled hair, brushing it out of his face and running a hand through its length. It has probably grown a good five inches since last time they saw each other.

The voices got slightly easier to hear, but Ex had no intention of listening to them. He did, however, weakly slap Xisuma's hand away when he traced a void scar on his forearm. Instead of slapping back like what he usually would do in their typical childish squabbles, X hesitantly leaned forwards and wrapped his arms around his brother.

He knew Ex needed a hug, whether he liked it or not.

The smaller Voidwalker could feel the shock radiating off the other Hermits in waves. Maybe it was his horrible health or the fact that the brothers are acting like brothers in a way they hadn't seen before. Evil X could feel his cheeks heat up at the attention, especially since he wasn't in the healthiest state ever.

And then Ex broke. The wall that held the emotion broke like glass.

Ignoring the pride he tried to hard to maintain during the entire ordeal, he buried his face into Xisuma's shoulder and sobbed. Ex didn't know if he tried speaking between his sobs, but he vaguely thinks he was. He could be crying in Galactic and he wouldn't have noticed.

In the back of Xisuma's mind, he thought this was the way it should have been throughout their lives. The older brother comforting the younger when the latter got hurt, especially if it was the former's fault. He rubbed Evil X's back as his brother muttered broken phrases in a mix of Galactic and English. It was difficult to understand since the words slurred together, but he made due.

Eventually, Ex fell asleep, hiccups managing to make its way through his sleep. Xisuma heaved him up with ease, carrying his brother close to his chest. With the help of a few other Hermits, they moved Evil X to a previously prepared room, healed the apparent wounds, and cleaned the blood in his hair.

When they were alone, Xisuma couldn't help but guiltily gaze down upon his brother.

It was his fault Ex was the way they found him, and he can't deny it.

The Hermitcarft admit heavily dropped down in the chair and waited for his brother to wake.

|--☆--|

Xisuma wasn't the type of person to shut down in front of others. Not many Hermits could say X broke in front of them. Each situation he comes across must be dealt with in an orderly fashion and as quickly as possible.

But he couldn't keep his composure when he saw his dear younger brother, lying half broken on the sand of the tiny spawn island. It was like his composure never existed, gone almost instantaneously.

He approached Ex, who curiously had his eyes closed despite being awake. His heart broke at the sight of so many new scars, the bloodied hair, the lack of rude taunts and remarks, at the violent shakes that racked his body.

And Xisuma knew it was his fault.

The spawn island scene went by quickly, almost too quickly. The entire time he was running on brotherly instinct, not admin training (which he was mildly surprised at, he almost always defaulted to using what he learned during training.). Even the hug caught him off guard. The hug was out of remorse and regret, he was not taught that while he trained to be a proper admin.

By the time Xisuma comprehended what just happened, Ex was lying in a newly built bed, the blanket tucked under his chin. Though he was asleep, his eyebrows were lowered and jaw clenched tightly. Xisuma swallowed and absentmindedly carded his hands through his brother's hair. The tension from his face eased ever so slightly.

With a frustrated scoff, he released the seal of his helmet, and with the sound of rushing air, tugged it off his head. Xisuma set it on a table with Ex's damaged one, sadly looking upon the broken equipment.

He paced for a few minutes (or thirty, he lost track. It seems to be a familiar habit of losing track of time now) before he reluctantly sat back down.

It's jarring enough to wake in an unfamiliar place, even more so with extra and unnecessary movement.

Xisuma sighed and lightly traced a scar on Evil X's arm, pausing his movements slightly when he twitched, his breathing hitching. When the previously banished player stilled again, his chest evening out, the Hermit sat back in his chair. X propped his elbow on the arm of the chair and held his forehead, lightly holding Ex's hand with his other hand.

Geez, what consequences had Ex suffered?

|--☆--|

Evil X woke up in an unfamiliar room. He dryly cheered internally as the bright light sources made him squeeze his eyes shut again. His sight was back, albeit blurry. His body was tucked under a heavy blanket, keeping the much-needed warmth around him. Ex barely noticed how every part of his body didn't ache as much as it used to.

Xisuma was sitting next to his bed, his helmet discarded on the table in the corner of the room. The bags under the admin's eyes were dark, as if he waited a long time for Ex to wake. He shifted in his uncomfortable wooden chair, his concerned violet gaze not leaving his injured brother.

In the long moments of silence, he tried to grasp Ex's hand or lay his hand on his thigh in a way to show comfort. Every attempt was met with Ex stubbornly moving his limb out of the way and a defiant glare. Xisuma stopped trying after the fourth attempt.

Over this rather awkward and silent time, Ex's vision cleared slightly (he might need prescription glass in his helmet). He squinted at Xisuma's face, examining every detail. Nothing seems to have changed since the last time they saw each other. X might have had a little more stubble on his chin than earlier, but maybe Ex was looking for an excuse to be observant.

Neither Voidwalker said a word. Both of them didn't want to be the first to break the silence. Ex was too sacred to talk (not that he would ever admit it), and Xisuma was not going to pry with rapid-fire questions. The silence seemed to be more comfortable for the red-clad player.

Evil X watched Xisuma's every minuscule movement with his unsettling red eyes. The admin met his gaze with an unwavering one of his own. The stare-off was long and unnecessary; the only thing breaking their direct eye contact was their blinks. Without looking away and as slowly as he could, Xisuma moved his hand closer to Ex's, waiting to see if he would pull back. Ex's eyes snapped to the movement, but he didn't pull his hand away. The Hermit tenderly wrapped his hand around the pale and scarred fingers with a featherlight squeeze, rubbing his thumb over his brother's knuckles.

Such action might be simple, but it conveyed so much. The deep sorrow, the unspoken apology, the unbearable regret, the suffocating despair, and so much more layered in one tiny contraction of Xisuma's fingers.

Evil X narrowed his eyes at their clasped hands. He knew how guilty his brother feels when anyone he cares about gets hurt. If it had been any worse, Xisuma would have never forgiven himself. He might not forgive himself now.

And Ex doesn't know if he forgives Xisuma. No one could blame the red-armored player. If they knew what he was forced to endure, they would see the valid reasoning.

"I'm sorry, Exy," Xisuma finally muttered, surprisingly in Galactic. He seemed to know how much Ex loved the language. To Ex, it was calming and comforting. It reminded him of home, of his wonderful childhood. "I am so, so sorry." The admin then choked on a sob, lowering his head in a rare display of shame.

Ex frowned, but said nothing.

"I don't know if... I can't tell if you forgive me, and I fully understand if you don't." His voice was barely audible, which only made it harder for Ex to hear. "I just... don't think I can say anything to justify myself in what I did so long ago. Or, what felt like so long ago." X gave a watery, half-hearted chuckle. "Less than a year."

Evil X averted his eyes. He didn't want to hear Xisuma wallow in pity, but he enjoyed the sound of the Galactic.

"I was a... a right derp then, ay?" Xisuma uncharacteristically spat the word like it was a curse (not that he would ever stoop that low). Ex was mildly amused that it could be translated into Galactic, but personally, he'd use the word that started with an a and ended with an e. "That's not the right word and undoubtedly one I wouldn't use if I were by myself, but I can't have my little brother picking up on my swearing habits, can't I?" The corner of Ex's lips almost unnoticeably twitched upwards. The Hermit forced a huff, a ghost of a smile on his face.

But it was gone as soon as it came, replaced by a crestfallen frown.

"I am... so, so, so sorry, brother." The admin ran his other hand through his brown hair. He lowered himself closer to the bed, pressing his forehead to the back of Ex's hand.

"Forgive me?" Xisuma mumbled into his side. Ex almost didn't catch it.

The smaller Voidwalker was at a loss for words. Did he forgive Xisuma? No? Yes? He doesn't know. He was so angry with Xisuma, and he had no right to ban him to the void regardless of his exhaustion. He should have been able to control his impulsive decisions. He's the admin for goodness sake.

But he couldn't blame X, he came at the wrong time, ended up in the wrong place, and his sheer existence was another chore Xisuma had to fix. Ex's luck was never the best.

So, in sticky situations like this, he asked himself a question he hasn't thought of in ages: What would Xisuma do in this situation? Of course, the admin would be rightfully angry. He would have been hurt if Evil X banned him without warning. X probably would have lectured him if he decided to unban him later, laying it in and making sure he learns his lesson.

But Xisumavoid was also the person to forgive anyone within reason. He was the type of person to see all sides, not just his own. Sure, he would be hurt, but Ex must have also been wounded mentally or emotionally if he lashed out.

Both sides must have been at fault.

Both sides were at fault.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Xisuma visibly started to get stressed with the lack of response. The admin's breathing became slightly faster and the nervous swallow was audible, even to Ex's impaired hearing. The grip of his hand was loosening and twitching, as if Xisuma wanted to keep still but couldn't quite manage to do so.

Evil X hesitated for a moment, resting his gaze on their interlocked fingers. 

Was he going to forgive his brother like he would have for him?

...

Or was he going to do what he would have done so long ago?

Xisuma was about to pull away dejectedly until he felt his younger brother reply with a wordless featherlight squeeze.

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